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Solitude

“A place where you meet yourself, where you embrace and appreciate your own company. Exactly, where you face your fears and rethink your decisions. Solitude is that essential place to recharge our inner energy.” Tuwalily

It’s a place I go to where I can shut out the noise, the distractions and the clutter that make up my life. I go within where there is peace to be found, resilience and strength. Solitude and stillness is where answers can be found and I get the strength to move on from where I’m at.

Solitude is defined as a “healthy, personal discipline that allows you to engage in meaningful self-reflection. Loneliness, however, is a state of sadness because one has no friends or company.” fullsailleadership.com

I embrace solitude and there is a certain deliciousness that comes from being still and listening to what is being told to you. When you get rid of the chatter, you get clarity.

“Solitude is where I place my chaos to rest and awaken my inner peace.” Unknown

Meditation, yoga or just a simple walk in the fields helps to open up a world of possibilities. A world where you are not confronted by what others think of you, of having to measure up, or of conforming to what is considered the norm. You can let go and just be yourself. It’s a place where you can go deep within and really see what you’re holding there, find out who you are and a place where you can learn to let go of what doesn’t serve you. There is peace within and unlimited resources but in order to reap the benefits, you need to come face to face with the ugliness, the so-called remnants of your past and retrain your mind to see different. Change your mindset and everything will start falling into place as it should. Solitude is where I find my peace and if I’m willing, it shows me who I am and what I need to change to get to the other side.

“Solitude is dangerous. It’s addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.” Unknown

I spend a lot of time by myself. I’m learning to love it to the point that I choose my own company to that of being with friends or family. I think that I am my own best friend which is a good thing but as the quote says, it can be addicting and like I sometimes say, I’m a recluse or at least feel like one at times. I’ve come up with a solution to this predicament. I’m really going to make an effort to spend more time with people to break this monotony because both is needed to make me a complete person. However, home is where my heart is.

My bouts of solitude has made me stronger and fully capable of dealing with what life throws my way. There is strength in solitude so seek it, use it and learn that there is a source you can go to when life decides it’s that time again. What time? Time to learn another lesson and before you go, “Oh no!” make solitude your friend and ally and things will start looking up.

“Make yourself a priority once in a while. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary.” Unknown

AND

“I’m not Anti-Social. I’m Pro-Solitude.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

When I was Five….

I don’t think I had any big dreams way back then. Thinking about what I wanted to be was nowhere to be seen. I was given the freedom to be whatever I wanted to be when I was five.

Playing with my make-believe friends in the woods behind my home was something I relished. I didn’t know then what dangers could lurk out there in those dark woods, all I saw was the tremendous possibilities hidden in those dark corners and fantasy was in the making. Strange that back then I was fearless. When did fear step in? I don’t really know but it did at some point in time and decided to stay for a while.

Five was an age that was filled with magic. I talked to the ducks, the chickens, my pet rabbits, the trees, the flowers, and everything else in between! My days were filled with wonder and my best friends were the gnomes and little people living under every mushroom! The wild orchids growing way up high fascinated me and so did the rainbow-colored fish swimming in the streams.

I was a fairy or at least I thought I was. My head was filled with wondrous things and most days, I was humming in the woods and waiting for some new make-believe world to open up and to invite me in. I guess I got my first interest in nature at that time even though I didn’t know it then. It would be a lifelong love affair.

Coming back to your question, I had no clue what I wanted to be when I grew up. Perhaps, a fairy with glittering stardust around me and a wand in my hand granting wishes like there was no tomorrow! At that point in time, it was what I wanted to be.

A Stressful Day

Photo by Jose Ricardo Barraza Morachis on Pexels.com

Yesterday was a stressful day. I had to take my car to the car repair shop to get the airbag replaced. It had a recall on it. Yes, that was frightening so it needed to be done. I should have bought the new car? The thought did cross my mind but I pushed it away since I like the car I have and wanted to hold onto to it.

I roped a friend into going there with me. It was the guy from Chile. He had just got back from spending summer in Chile and he hates cold weather! We wanted to catch up on things, plus I like him. Just a nice guy who goes out of his way to be helpful. He followed me with his car as I drove mine to the workshop. Once there, they told me it would take about three hours so we decided to go get some breakfast and headed to a couple of dealerships to LOOK at cars, sort of window shopping but not looking to buy. I did see a few cars that I really liked but I stuck to my decision and just glossed over them.

After a nice breakfast and a good talk, we headed back to the workshop. One other thing, the workshop was supposed to replace the headlight on the driver’s side as well but after three weeks of waiting, they told me the part was in but it would take another two weeks before someone could replace it. I wasn’t too happy with the delay but went along with it. The cost would be around 2,500 euros for one headlight! Anyway, I was told yesterday that they couldn’t replace the headlight because there was a defect and the NEW part had to be sent back. When will they get a replacement? No idea, it could be one week, tomorrow, or at the end of April! I was getting PISSED but decided to bite the bullet. However, they would replace the airbag.

Once there, they told me that it would be done at no cost and I only had to pay for the cleaning. The car was spotless and my friend said, “It is a dark brown car, I thought it was black!” Right, that’s because it hadn’t been cleaned for quite a while. Anyway, I paid for the cleaning, thanked them with a promise from them that they will call as soon as the new part comes in. So far, so good.

My friend followed me home just to make sure there were no problems and then left. I was pleased as punch with the way things were going. Then at 5:30, I got a call from the workshop. “Can you come by here early tomorrow morning?”

ME: “Why?”

Receptionist: “We need to fix something.”

ME: “What?!!” Irritation trying to get the upper-hand.

Receptionist: “They made a mistake and installed the wrong airbag!”

Ok folks, this wasn’t any fly by night operation. It is a reputable workshop which specializes in my type of car.

I was mad and I did tell them that. They said it wouldn’t take that long to rectify the problem.

ME: “Is it safe to drive the car?”

Receptionist: “Hmm….it SHOULD be safe. Just don’t drive it too much tonight!”

I turned to Google and it said, driving a car with the wrong airbag is dangerous and it could cause some severe injuries if it deploys!

Now, I am all stressed out. Should I drive the car? I don’t know. Most probably I will. The same friend will come by and follow me there just to make sure that the airbag doesn’t explode in my face! Just kidding or maybe not.

Update: I didn’t get much sleep last night. I tossed and turned with airbags floating by in pieces in front of my eyes! This morning, I drove there feeling jittery. My friend followed and he was mad as well. We got there early and they were very apologetic. It seems, there was someone else with the same last name and that was how the mistake happened. Anyway, this nice guy took my keys and promised that it would be done in minutes and as promised he walked back in with the keys in five minutes! It was done. Then to my surprise, they told me the headlight came in yesterday and they could replace it after Easter! Wow, that was good news.

Sometimes worrying doesn’t bring anything but unwanted stress. Just tell that to my hyperactive mind! Getting it to heel takes superhuman effort. All’s well that ends well? We shall see if the part they got in is fine and they get it fixed. Fingers and toes crossed!

Have an amazing day.

Strength

I think it is that you have everything within you to overcome what life throws your way. We have this insane power within that goes untapped most times because our first line of defense when adversity strikes is to howl at the moon and cry, “Why me?” Sure it gets the frustration out at the time or it is a way of letting out steam but in the long run, it is nothing compared to going within to bring that undefeatable power to the forefront, the one that can slay dragons if you let it.

There is tremendous power and strength within and I have tapped into this potential only to find that it is limitless. It is not easy I agree because human nature is weak and we are complainers more than anything else but if we can just understand that there is an untapped potential within and it can be used to overcome whatever it is that seems impossible at first but if given time and a single-minded focus, it is doable. I’ve fallen flat on my face many times over but these days, I don’t stay there. I go within to find the answers and the strength to move on. Standing still in one place is not an option, not for long anyway but moving on is. It may sound like mumbo jumbo to some but you were built to survive anything that life throws your way and you are equipped to do just that.

Daily writing prompt

What’s something most people don’t understand?

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I Almost Settled!

I almost did the unthinkable but I came to my senses before that happened! Settling was something I never wanted to do and never settling means “to continuously strive for excellence, refusing to accept mediocrity, complacency, or anything less than your highest standards.”

In a relationship, never settling for less than you deserve means “refusing to accept less than your core standards, values, and emotional needs, ensuring you are not simply staying out of fear of being alone” or walking into one for that very same reason.

“You, my dear, were never meant to settle.” Erin Plewes

Coming back to the topic at hand, I almost did exactly that. I narrowed down the list of potential candidates to two. Out of the two, I decided to give one guy the chance of getting to know me better. He wasn’t the perfect guy but going with the premise that there is no such thing as the “perfect guy” I decided to give him a chance. If you know me, you will know what a big decision that was. Second dates are hard to come by. I always find a reason as to why it shouldn’t happen. Anyway, we went out on a few dates, held hands, laughed about THINGS and after two kisses, the doubts started rolling in as they usually do. The biggest obstacle was that he’s a smoker. He didn’t smoke in front of me but I knew he did and being the health nut I am, I knew it wasn’t going to work out.

Anyway, he started talking about vacations together and spending lots of time together. I mean, lots of time! He was also too touchy feely for my liking and I didn’t like the fact that he wanted to hold hands all the time. Is that normal behavior? I like being free as a bird meaning no fences around me and holding hands seemed like he wanted to put a fence around me. Instead of putting distance between us, I went along thinking maybe this could work out. I was walking into the “settling” mode. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I was tired of going out on dates only to find the wrong guys. Maybe, I just wanted to put dating aside and not have to search for Mr. Right anymore. He seemed nice enough, had stars in his eyes when he looked at me, and that phrase, “I will do anything for you,” landed where it should. I was feeling important and wanted.

“Real women are strong, resilient, independent, loyal, and lovable, one thing about them is they never settle.” Unknown

What happened to that woman? The same question I keep asking myself. Then I woke up. The fact that he smoked was definitely a deal breaker. The next big thing is I don’t like being touched all the time. I want a relationship not a “glue stick.” Unfortunately, I keep running into the same types, guys who think that “touching” is part and parcel of a relationship. Some touching is ok but NOT all the time. It got to the point where I was afraid to look at him because the moment I did, he was all over me. Finally, I decided to let go of a relationship that was going nowhere. I wanted one thing and he, the whole shebang! We parted ways on friendly terms.

Know who you are.

Know what you want.

Know what you deserve.

And don’t settle for less.

Yes, it means I’ll still be out there looking for that someone who probably doesn’t exist! Scary? Yes, but settling for the wrong someone is even worse. Take your time, don’t listen to the voices that say, time is running out. Walk your path the way you want to and never, ever, settle for anything less than what you deserve.

Stop settling.

Being cheated on is not normal.

Being controlled is not normal.

Being abused is not normal.

Crying more than you smile is not normal.

Break-up to make-up is not normal.

Stop suffering and settling.

Tony Gaskins

AND

“Stop being okay with things you really are not okay with. Stop associating being a good person with how much you’re willing to suffer in silence. You can be a kind person and still say, “I’m not okay with this.” Being kind is not about being the human equivalent of a doormat.” Unknown

When it comes to relationships, choose carefully, take off your blinders and go in with your eyes wide open. If you see the signals cropping up, the red ones that tell you to tread carefully, pay attention and shut the door behind you. Move on knowing that it is for the best. There will always be another someone, the “one” someone who will be your perfect fit or the someone who meets you more than halfway.

Give it time.

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”

The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back to the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Yup that will do it!

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A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled, “The Meaning of Dreams.”

I bet he’s missing too!

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Have a day filled with laughter.

Technology and Job

It doesn’t matter these days as I am taking time out to get a book published and another one is in the works. However, as a former Fashion Editor for a fashion magazine, I didn’t do the mundane task of putting the articles together. There were others who were computer savvy or rather tech savvy who did the job of getting the articles ready for publication. I just did the writing part but the rest was left to a team which was a good thing because I am a technology klutz or rather I hate anything new that creeps in while I am not looking and disrupts my day to day existence!

I’m sure technology has added to and made things easier in the publication world and the world of writing but I still dig in my heels when I see something new that needs me to brush up on computer technology. Just this morning, I wanted to log into WordPress and I got a white screen. Nothing more! I later found out it was called the Death Screen! I had to Google putting my frustration aside and it gave some tips on how to rectify that problem. One was to clear the Cache. What the hell was that?!! Anyway, I found out and cleared the Cache whatever that is and got it to work. Not a klutz after all but I hate new technology and I also understand that it is needed in today’s fast paced world of ours.

Daily writing prompt

How has technology changed your job?

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Saying No!

This is a hard one for me because more often than not, I tend to beat around the bush instead of saying a plain, loud, no-nonsense NO! This mentality tends to interfere with my goals because it takes longer and a roundabout way to get there.

I think that being “nice” means bending over backwards to accommodate people or things that don’t serve me. It takes a long time to say no and to mean it. I am learning and getting stronger as I go along. However, this has its downside as well. I’m known as being complicated but it is a title that I am learning to wear proudly.

It takes focus to achieve your goals and if you let things that don’t matter, people who distract you, and softness to sway you, it gets that much harder to achieve. I am developing a hardcore mentality which doesn’t always serve me well but it is leading me on the right path and that matters. It is still a learning process.

Trump’s Downward Spiral (Archives)

Update: I wrote this piece way back when he was eyeing his second-term, unfortunately he made it. However, the insults, the bullying, talking out of both sides of his you know what, the all about me concept, and add aggression to it and you get the full picture of his presidency. Oh, I forgot lying. He does it like a pro and without flinching. Is his presidency on a downward spiral? Looks like it but who knows? He might survive this debacle as well. One thing is for sure, Iran is giving as good as it gets and they have got his “goat” right now!

The man with the not so HUGE hands and the perpetual orange face decided to take it one further when faced with questions at the National Black Journalists Association Convention. Shocking is not the word for it but stupidity sure is. His answers did not make sense and his rant, well that is typical Trump.

He went from calling a reporter rude, nasty and wasting his time and as if that wasn’t enough he resorted to racial tropes saying that VP Kamala Harris “happened to turn Black” during her political career as if it was a pre-planned choice.

The man is old, his cognitive skills are declining, his IQ is questionable especially in light of his recent rantings on why Harris, a product of an Indian mother and a Jamaican father should NOT call herself BLACK! His vicious insults hit below the belt and he takes the saying, “When they go low, we go higher,” to a new all-time LOW. The man doesn’t even know what that means. His motto is, “When they go low, I go much lower and stay there to wrestle in the mud!” Perhaps, insults is all he has left of a crumbling political landscape as he watches it take a dive knowing full well that he doesn’t stand a chance against Harris, debate or otherwise.

Harris has made it crisp and clear. “If you’ve got something to say, say it to my face.” The gauntlet has been thrown, let’s see if the orange TV personality and former president will accept the challenge. One thing’s for sure, it will be a massacre of the worst kind. Going up against a former prosecutor is a daunting task but pair it with a much younger individual and you’ve got disaster on your hands. “Old,” “feeble,” and all the other derogatory insults he piled on Biden is coming back to haunt him and rightfully so. What goes around, comes around.

“Ding-Dong,” or not, Harris is ready to trump Trump and not in a subtle manner either. The lady has her wits about her and she knows exactly where to hit to draw the least amount of blood but enough to slay the dragon or rather an “old” and “feeble” man who deserves trumping. She is capable of doing it without so much as an insult or histrionics. The wannable dictator and convicted felon needs to be shown the door and who better than Kamala Harris to do just that.

Harris is well on her way to victory having garnered enough votes to become the Democratic Party’s presumptive nominee and having raised $310 million US in July, double the amount Trump did in the same month. She is gaining in strength and popularity and driving Trump off his rocker!

Rihanna said it best in her song, “Take a Bow,” and it goes like this.

“But you put on quite a show

Really had me goin’

But now it’s time to go

Curtains finally closin’

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it’s over now

Go on and take a bow.”

Hey Donald, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

Painting Pictures With Words

I’ve always had the ability to paint pictures with words. I don’t know if you would call it a talent but it is something that I have noticed and others have noticed it too.

I can’t sing, I basically croak! My mom and sister were really good singers and I always envied that ability. Next to them, I was a sore thumb that stood out for more reasons than one. However, I realized that I had another skill and that was painting pictures with words. This skill comes in handy when I’m writing and I want people reading my stories and articles to picture or to experience what I’m saying or to keep me company along the way.

I am grateful and thankful for this gift and I do put it to good use especially when I go walking in nature. I capture what I see in my mind and later I add words to it. Somehow, it works and when I do go back and read what I’ve written, one question comes to mind. “How did you do that?”

A gift? Maybe. Whatever it is, it is nice to have since it helps me on my writing journey.

Daily writing prompt

What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?

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