caring – Site Title

The Glass of Cherry Jam

It came in a vintage jar, the contents a dark burgundy red, and I could see big chunks of cherry staring back at me from the interior. This wasn’t store-bought but homemade. The woman across the street handed it over with love in her eyes and even though it was a nasty day out with fall trying to make a showing, that glass of cherry jam brought some sunshine into my life.

I took it with gratitude because I know her cherry jam making skills. She does it beautifully and the taste is out of this world! A spoonful on my toast this morning had me singing her praises! She is sweet, well into her 80s but the lady never stops. She is on the go from morning to dusk doing everything necessary to keep herself moving. Working in her garden is something she loves doing, baking is her other love. Her son still comes over for lunch and dinner since he works from home. I don’t know what the deal is with him. He is good-looking, has a great job,has a nice looking sports car but I have never seen him with a woman or a man for that matter.

Who am I to wonder when mine hasn’t called or written in two weeks! I’m a helicopter mom but I’ve retired that helicopter and it is no longer working. I heard from my ex that he has a girlfriend. He went through a breakup three weeks ago and has been down in the dumps ever since but the man in the know, my ex, says that he is up and running again. Yes, girls do have that kind of effect on the young and not so experienced. So, I guess his life is revolving around her now. The good thing, he made it through his probationary period and is now a full-time employee and it is a big deal because that job is hard to come by. It also involves lots of traveling so I HOPE, I cross his mind now and then and he lets me know how he is doing although I am chomping at the bit to ask. I have to be patient but that is hard.

Coming back to that glass jar of jam. The neighborly gesture of caring brought more than just a jar of jam. It was sunshine, love, and caring all wrapped up in that jar of goodness. The fact that she took the time to show she cared mattered to me, and when she handed it over, she said, “Stay off your feet. No cleaning, no bending over, drink lots, and take care of yourself. You know what will happen if you don’t.” I nodded and I’ve been taking her advice although this time around, I do have slight discomfort and it is bugging me. Google says, “It is absolutely normal. You’ve gone through two surgeries, both big ones so give it time, about three weeks, and it will get better.” From Google to God’s ears!

It wasn’t just a glass of cherry jam, it was much much more and she knows it and I know it too. Kindness doesn’t appear everyday but sometimes it shows up in the form of a glass jar of cherry jam when you least expect it.

Have an amazing day.

The Song of the Beautiful Souls

I’ve said many times before that I live in paradise. This tiny village offers everything my heart desires but most of all peace and quiet. Now, I am finding out that it offers more. That small town feel where you are not invisible is front and center here.

It is very conservative and they don’t like changes. Tradition roars like a lion here and the people are set in their ways. It wasn’t my way at all when I first walked in from a faraway land. I didn’t speak the language well and I was an outsider. It took a long time to break those barriers and to feel at home here. I do now.

However, there is something else that has taken root and I see it clearly now. I am now one of them and even though I don’t feel different something has changed. They (the villagers) have welcomed me into their hearts and it was clearly evident when I came home from my first OP. I was feeling alone but then the old lady from across the street brought me some homemade oatmeal cookies. It went straight to my heart.

Now, I am heading towards another OP next week. This morning I was busy packing and making sure I had everything I needed when the phone rang. It was the same lady and she asked if I was busy.

“Just busy packing.”

“Can you come to the back gate? I have something for you.”

“Sure, but I don’t look too good and my eyes are swollen from crying last night.”

“Oh why?”

“I’m afraid.”

“It will go fine, you’ll be ok.”

We met at the back gate and she hands me this beautifully packaged bag of fresh oatmeal cookies all tied up with a bow!

“Enough there for you to eat at home and to take some to the hospital if you need a snack there.”

I felt myself tearing up. I ran back inside and came out with the empty glass jar which had contained her homemade cherry jam.

“The jam was super delicious!”

“You’ll get another jar when you come back home and one more thing, if you need anything just call me. I’ll come and look after you!”

Ok, I could feel the waterfall starting to flow and I had to look away.

Then she added, “The neighborhood is suffering with you.” That is a literal translation but I think she meant, they are rooting for me.

Beautiful souls abound and when once I had thought that they were not MY KIND OF PEOPLE, they are showing me that I was wrong and in their own way they care. Yes, it is a small village but as far as “heart” goes they come across as giants!

The cookies will be put to good use and I will have some later today with a nice cup of coffee and thank my lucky stars for the people around here!

Have an amazing day.

This One Landed!

I had my operation 7 days ago and I walked away as one lucky person! It was a two-hour procedure but I had no pain afterwards and I was able to walk the same day! No pain killers needed and I was sent home 4 days later to recuperate at home.

I had hired help for Chachi, the cat, before I left to have this thing done. A sweet girl who loves cats and she told me that my precious bundle of fur was in good hands. She was right. However, Chachi didn’t think so. His question, “Who are you and what have you done with my mummy?!!!”

Coming back home, I found him looking as grumpy as ever. It took him hours to warm up and when he did, it was a lovefest of the best kind! Coming back to the girl, she offered more help. She said, “If you need anything else done, I can do that too.” I thought that was sweet of her.

The next day she showed up with a bouquet of flowers. Some pink roses with baby’s breath woven in and it was a pretty bouquet but more than that it touched me. I thanked her. We talked and she told me that she was a student and was getting into fitness by going to the gym and I gave her some pointers. Conversation started flowing between us. She also did more than she should like taking the trash out and mopping the floor!

Yesterday, she showed up here and said, “I saw you in my dream! You were all dressed up and looking gorgeous!”

I perked up. “What else did you see?”

“You had beautiful earrings on and your face was all glowy. Looked like you were getting ready for a girls’ night out.”

A girls’ night out? I haven’t done that in ages.

Now, picture this. I haven’t had a shower in almost a week, haven’t washed my hair for about that same time, no makeup, gritty clothes and I was feeling a little down in the dumps.

THIS ONE DEFINITELY LANDED AND HOW!

So I offered to take her out for coffee after she finishes working here. I might need her again for the second operation coming up, plus she has been awfully sweet and has taken good care of Chachi.

Sometimes the praises you give out lands exactly where it should and this one did.

The Helicopter Has Crashed!

The definition of a helicopter mom is, “a mother who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of her child or children.” Furthermore, “helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead, overseeing every aspect of their child’s life.” Guilty as charged!

My son, the one and only, has managed to do well. He has finished his studies and after landing two jobs but not to his liking, he has landed his dream job or so it seems. He is going into his third month and according to him, “Work is good.” That’s about as much as I can get out of him these days. Just short answers that don’t tell me a thing! I WANT MORE! Yes folks, the helicopter is going down fast and it is not going to be up there anytime soon and it probably never will again.

He’s on the way and keeping everything close to his chest. The problem is I am having a hard time with being fed just morsels! The first time it happened, I thought I would go crazy not knowing where he was, how he was doing, and especially when the trains stopped running and he was left to find his way home on his own! I had to learn to deal with that.

It got easier as time went on. The less he told me, the more I believed that he was alright and doing well. It was my way of surviving the inevitable. He was a young adult and he was ready to fly the coop and mom just had to deal with it. Then I wouldn’t hear from him for a few days and I would ask my ex if he had heard from him. “No, I haven’t heard from him for about a week now.” What?!! That set all the alarm bells going and needed looking into! When he was good and ready, he wrote me a few words, the emphasis being on few! “All good.”

I am writing this because he has a move coming up next weekend. He is moving to his new apartment and he will be able to have his cats with him. I thought it would take place the moment he moved in but I was told from a third source, the ex, that he has a two or three week business trip coming up and it can only happen after he comes back. Why didn’t he tell me?!! The helicopter is going down fast.

He just wrote a few minutes ago saying, “Packing.” I thought he was talking about the move coming up. Nope, he was talking about a trip coming up next week and he will be gone for a week. Where is he going? He doesn’t want to say and I have to step back and not push. The helicopter has CRASHED!!!

I see the same thing with a girlfriend. She has a ten-year-old and she does it one better than me. She is up there flying the skies and I wish I can go back to the times when I knew anything and everything like she does!

The thing is I have to accept that he is growing up fast and is leading a life of his own. So far, he has done well on his own and I will trust that I’ve brought him up well and he knows what he is doing.

By the way, that “helicopter” did a good job of raising the kid!

Have an amazing day.

The Three Musketeers

“All for one and one for all!” Not quite. I thought the hardest part is to have the two visitors as temporary residents for some time and when they get used to being here, things will take a turn for the better. Think again!

Gallahad, the gentle giant with the dark fur and orange eyes is an observer. He watches everything with those wise eyes of his and stays out of the way until he hears the can opening, food can that is. Then he prances around because “food” brings him happiness and adds to the extra pounds he carries around as well. He loves eating. I’m his best buddy because he knows without a shadow of a doubt that I’m the lady with the food. Be nice to her and you have a full tummy, that is guaranteed.

Shiro, on the other hand, is sweet and looks mighty pretty. All that white fur and big wide eyes makes her a beauty. She loves to meow when she is happy AND when she is not. How to know the difference? You don’t, just go with the flow or simply ignore her. She loves to sleep a lot as cats do I suppose but she calls it her “beauty sleep.” A girl after my own heart!

Chachi, the Little Macho has lost some of that machismo ever since these two moved in. He was “the man” but now, the third wheel or the fourth but who cares, he feels that the two have moved in and are vying for my attention, love, and caring. This is not setting too well with him and he shows it in ways that is alarming. He hisses whenever he sees them, tries to hit with his paws and last night, he went for my hand! I wasn’t having any of it so I read him the riot act. Things have been quiet since then but he shoots daggers in my direction letting it be known that he is JEALOUS!

What am I doing? Good question. I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Just when I think I have a handle on things, they show me different. Galli decided that feeding, grooming, and taking care of his needs isn’t enough. He added diarrhea to the equation! He is a long-haired variety and let me tell you cleaning up after that makes you want to send him home! The problem, he has no other home right now. So, I cleaned up, ran the wash several times and all is back to normal again. Then there is the problem with the hair. Two long-haired cats shed like crazy! Now, it is time to play stylist as well. I invested in a good hair-trimmer and have been cutting Shiro’s hair. She is a sweetheart, no problems there. Galli is another story! He went for my hand after hearing the light buzzing and knew something was up. The next thing I did was to invest in some protective gloves. This is working much better but try getting close to the legs and you have trouble waiting!

Time for a professional to take over. I have an appointment scheduled with a dog and cat stylist in April. Hopefully, she gets them cleaned up and smelling like a rose. Maybe, not a rose but something better!

Life with three cats is no joke. It’s like having kids running around and demanding attention all the time. Oh, I forgot playtime. It is scheduled for an hour each day. By the end of the day, I am pooped!

Three musketeers they are not, but I’m hoping that things will settle down. I used to say I don’t want to travel anymore, well, that has changed ever since the two moved in. I am ready for a break!

Have an amazing day.

Valentine’s Day Story

It is here. The day when love is celebrated with hearts, kisses, roses and lots of love. It falls annually on February 14th and there is a frenzied rush to show that certain someone special just how wonderful they are. What about the other days? Well, it goes without saying. Just a normal day with no Schnickschnack involved. This too is love and it takes many forms.

Coming back to the Valentine’s Day Story.

Valentine’s Day often makes us think about hearts, chocolates, and romance — but some of the most meaningful love stories are about friendship, kindness, and showing up for one another when it matters most.

That’s exactly what The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie celebrates.

At its core, this story isn’t about grand gestures or perfect heroes. It’s about Honey, a miniature greyhound who must find courage she didn’t know she had, and Hubie, a bold little frog who proves that friendship doesn’t always come in expected forms. Together, they explore a whimsical world filled with surprises, gentle humor, and moments that quietly remind us what love really looks like.

What makes this book such a lovely Valentine’s Day read is how naturally its message unfolds. Honey and Hubie don’t set out to teach lessons — they simply care about each other. They listen, they help, they face fears side by side. And in doing so, they show young readers that love isn’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes, it’s just being brave enough to take the next step when someone believes in you.

For children, it’s a story about friendship and courage. For parents and teachers, it’s a reminder that stories can nurture empathy, imagination, and emotional growth — all without preaching.

This Valentine’s Day, The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie is a beautiful choice for sharing a quieter kind of love: the love of friendship, loyalty, and believing in one another — even when the path ahead feels uncertain.

Because the best adventures, just like the best kinds of love, are the ones we don’t take alone.

The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie by T. J. Mueller

Available on Amazon

Valentine’s Day Story

It is on the way. The day when love is celebrated with hearts, kisses, roses and lots of love. It falls annually on February 14th and there is a frenzied rush to show that certain someone special just how wonderful they are. What about the other days? Well, it goes without saying. Just a normal day with no Schnickschnack involved. This too is love and it takes many forms.

Coming back to the Valentine’s Day Story.

That’s exactly what The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie celebrates.

For children, it’s a story about friendship and courage. For parents and teachers, it’s a reminder that stories can nurture empathy, imagination, and emotional growth — all without preaching.

Because the best adventures, just like the best kinds of love, are the ones we don’t take alone.

The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie by T. J. Mueller

Available on Amazon

Learn to Care Less (Archives)

“Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.” Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Caring less about things maybe the easiest way to acquire happiness but how many of us do that? How often do we obsess about things we cannot change? More times than I can remember. How often do we let someone trigger something in us and we carry it around for days mulling over every word and detail to the point that nothing else matters but that one little problem but only by this time, it isn’t a small problem anymore but had morphed and become unsolvable! How many times have we let someone bring us down just because something hurtful was said and we take it to heart, handle it like a precious thing and let our self-esteem go to pieces? More times than I can count on my fingers.

Here’s the thing:

“The less you give a damn the happier you will be.” Unknown

Something happened yesterday and I took what was handed to me, went to my corner as I usually do and let it do a number on me! Happiness was nowhere to be seen and my piece of mind was in shambles at my feet. Even then, I refused to let go. I was like a dog with a bone until I stopped and decided to let go of what I was holding within and told myself that there was nothing I could do about the situation. No amount of anger, sadness and wishing, yes wishing was going to change it for the better. I took a deep breath and let it go….

“Stop asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.” Unknown

That’s the problem isn’t it? We keep allowing things to happen and to hold us in its grasp. If only we could take away the power from the problem at hand and learn to look at it with detachment versus with both feet smack dap in the middle! Learning to care less takes practice especially if you’re the type who cares too much about anything and everything.

LET IT GO……and learn to relax. Problems do have a way of righting themselves out and sometimes with very little help from you. Give it some time, give it some space but most of all, don’t hug it close to your heart. Learn to care less and you’ll be less stressed at and with life. This doesn’t mean being a less caring person it just means picking your battles carefully and when you do, be prepared to look at them with less emotion. Step back and go to work but not with guns blazing! I have to remind myself of this too.

ONE DAY IT JUST CLICKS

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what others think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover and you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.”

Have an amazing day.

Empathy

It is defined as, “the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.”

An empath has the ability to truly understand other people’s feelings, however a narcissist, on the other hand, is only able to show empathy when they feel in control and their self-esteem is enhanced but since they are masters at exploitation, it is more likely they show no empathy at all. Not everyone is capable of being empathetic but that doesn’t mean you are narcissistic, just that it’s hard to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.

“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” Alfred Adler

There are conflicting thoughts on whether empathy is a learned or a genetic trait. Some experts say it is “something we develop over time and in relationship to our social environment while others feel that it is “something we develop through our upbringing and life experiences – it is also partly inherited.” Then again there are those who say that in 95% of people, it is a learned trait like other human traits such as respect, kindness and honesty.

Whatever the case maybe, I feel it is hard to have proper connections if you lack this all important trait. I’ve met many people who totally lacked empathy and they came across as cold and stone-hearted individuals. They let nothing pierce the armor they wore and it was hard to tell if that was part of their DNA or a facade they wore to protect themselves from showing their vulnerable side.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia

Empathy is a lost art these days. In a world where we spend most of our time hooked to our gadgets be it an iPhone, cell phones, computers or social media, feeling with our hearts is next to impossible when everything is done with a swipe of one thing or another. When was the last time you really paid attention to someone close? When was the last time you really looked at a stranger and made eye contact? Or when was the last time you stepped into their shoes to experience what they were going through? Empathy is needed in a world where most things are superficial and going heart-deep is a really difficult thing to do.

This message came through when I met my girlfriend, the one who is never on time, for our usual breakfast meet. This time around it wasn’t centered around small talk, instead we had a heart to heart. She had suffered a stroke two years ago and her face droops on one side. She said, “I wish there is something I can do about it,” in a sad voice. It went straight to my heart. I felt her pain as I listened and let her talk. When she finished, I could see that the “listening” had helped. Her voice sounded lighter.

This is Empathy: Let me hold the door for you. I may have never walked a mile in your shoes, but I can see that your soles are worn and your strength is torn under the weight of a story I have never lived before. So let me hold the door for you. After all you’ve walked through, it’s the least I can do.” Morgan Harper Nichols

LET ME HOLD THE DOOR FOR YOU. Sometimes that is all it takes to walk that journey, to feel what someone is going through and to say, let me hold the door for you.

Have an amazing day.

Learn to Care Less

“Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.” Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Here’s the thing:

“The less you give a damn the happier you will be.” Unknown

“Stop asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.” Unknown

ONE DAY IT JUST CLICKS

Have an amazing day.