compassion – Site Title

I’ve said many times before that I live in paradise. This tiny village offers everything my heart desires but most of all peace and quiet. Now, I am finding out that it offers more. That small town feel where you are not invisible is front and center here.

It is very conservative and they don’t like changes. Tradition roars like a lion here and the people are set in their ways. It wasn’t my way at all when I first walked in from a faraway land. I didn’t speak the language well and I was an outsider. It took a long time to break those barriers and to feel at home here. I do now.

However, there is something else that has taken root and I see it clearly now. I am now one of them and even though I don’t feel different something has changed. They (the villagers) have welcomed me into their hearts and it was clearly evident when I came home from my first OP. I was feeling alone but then the old lady from across the street brought me some homemade oatmeal cookies. It went straight to my heart.

Now, I am heading towards another OP next week. This morning I was busy packing and making sure I had everything I needed when the phone rang. It was the same lady and she asked if I was busy.

“Just busy packing.”

“Can you come to the back gate? I have something for you.”

“Sure, but I don’t look too good and my eyes are swollen from crying last night.”

“Oh why?”

“I’m afraid.”

“It will go fine, you’ll be ok.”

We met at the back gate and she hands me this beautifully packaged bag of fresh oatmeal cookies all tied up with a bow!

“Enough there for you to eat at home and to take some to the hospital if you need a snack there.”

I felt myself tearing up. I ran back inside and came out with the empty glass jar which had contained her homemade cherry jam.

“The jam was super delicious!”

“You’ll get another jar when you come back home and one more thing, if you need anything just call me. I’ll come and look after you!”

Ok, I could feel the waterfall starting to flow and I had to look away.

Then she added, “The neighborhood is suffering with you.” That is a literal translation but I think she meant, they are rooting for me.

Beautiful souls abound and when once I had thought that they were not MY KIND OF PEOPLE, they are showing me that I was wrong and in their own way they care. Yes, it is a small village but as far as “heart” goes they come across as giants!

The cookies will be put to good use and I will have some later today with a nice cup of coffee and thank my lucky stars for the people around here!

Have an amazing day.

It is defined as, “the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.”

An empath has the ability to truly understand other people’s feelings, however a narcissist, on the other hand, is only able to show empathy when they feel in control and their self-esteem is enhanced but since they are masters at exploitation, it is more likely they show no empathy at all. Not everyone is capable of being empathetic but that doesn’t mean you are narcissistic, just that it’s hard to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.

“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” Alfred Adler

There are conflicting thoughts on whether empathy is a learned or a genetic trait. Some experts say it is “something we develop over time and in relationship to our social environment while others feel that it is “something we develop through our upbringing and life experiences – it is also partly inherited.” Then again there are those who say that in 95% of people, it is a learned trait like other human traits such as respect, kindness and honesty.

Whatever the case maybe, I feel it is hard to have proper connections if you lack this all important trait. I’ve met many people who totally lacked empathy and they came across as cold and stone-hearted individuals. They let nothing pierce the armor they wore and it was hard to tell if that was part of their DNA or a facade they wore to protect themselves from showing their vulnerable side.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia

Empathy is a lost art these days. In a world where we spend most of our time hooked to our gadgets be it an iPhone, cell phones, computers or social media, feeling with our hearts is next to impossible when everything is done with a swipe of one thing or another. When was the last time you really paid attention to someone close? When was the last time you really looked at a stranger and made eye contact? Or when was the last time you stepped into their shoes to experience what they were going through? Empathy is needed in a world where most things are superficial and going heart-deep is a really difficult thing to do.

This message came through when I met my girlfriend, the one who is never on time, for our usual breakfast meet. This time around it wasn’t centered around small talk, instead we had a heart to heart. She had suffered a stroke two years ago and her face droops on one side. She said, “I wish there is something I can do about it,” in a sad voice. It went straight to my heart. I felt her pain as I listened and let her talk. When she finished, I could see that the “listening” had helped. Her voice sounded lighter.

This is Empathy: Let me hold the door for you. I may have never walked a mile in your shoes, but I can see that your soles are worn and your strength is torn under the weight of a story I have never lived before. So let me hold the door for you. After all you’ve walked through, it’s the least I can do.” Morgan Harper Nichols

LET ME HOLD THE DOOR FOR YOU. Sometimes that is all it takes to walk that journey, to feel what someone is going through and to say, let me hold the door for you.

Have an amazing day.

Tag: compassion

The Song of the Beautiful Souls

Empathy