Good question but the answer depends on what it is I am doing at the time. Saying “no” is sporadic and it doesn’t happen often. I am a goal-oriented person so I do not procrastinate. I usually take the bull by the horns and get things done.
However, last week was a different story altogether. Call it spring fever but I’ve been taking a very lazy attitude towards getting things done. The only thing that has been a regular is the “Daily Prompt.” Otherwise, writing has been put on the backburner. I received my revised manuscript from the publisher and instead of looking it up, it is still sitting on my desk! My mind doesn’t want to cooperate but it gets that way sometimes. Some days I have so many ideas and at other times I draw blanks. This is one of those times. I hope it changes because all I want to do right now is to sit out back and just listen to the birds chirping and the bees buzzing around! Spring fever at its best? Probably.
Coming back to your question, I do say “no” to things that would interfere with my goals but the good thing is, I know when to get off that “pot” and start moving again. It is a very temporary thing.
Daily writing prompt
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
Everyone knows that being out there in the dating scene is hard and not always an easy path to navigate. Not only is it filled with unknowns but meeting the right guy is made harder by the following characters who give ‘love’ a bad name.
The Scammers
If you’ve never met them, consider yourself lucky. Some of us are not that fortunate. They come across as ‘nice guys’ who had faced some form of tragedy in their lives. It is usually the loss of a loved one through an accident or illness. They often have a child they are raising alone and are usually well-heeled (or so they say) meaning they have BIG jobs and money to throw out the window. Here’s where it starts getting iffy. They fall in love immediately without having met you and they want to spend the rest of their lives with you. At some point they will hit you up for cash. It could come as a medical emergency, an oil-rig disaster or something as simple as leaving their credit card at home. Play it smart and give these losers a wide berth. The only thing they’re interested in is your hard-earned cash and nothing more.
The Volatile Type
This loose cannon should be in anger management training but he’s out there, more like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. At first glance a regular guy, but on closer inspection, a bomb waiting to explode. It doesn’t take but the slightest nudge and he’s off and running spewing volcanic ash in his wake. Here again, keep your distance and DO NOT ENGAGE! You’ll be in a losing battle if you do.
The Egomaniac
An egomaniac is “someone who thinks only of themselves and does not care if they harm other people in order to get what they want.” He usually walks in like he has the world at his feet and thinks it is all about him. Beautiful women are his target but he’ll settle for less if they’ll spruce up his ego in return. He thinks the world of himself and his over-inflated ego is his best buddy. Together they’re an unbeatable team so stay away if you want to walk away with your heart intact.
The Sugar Daddies (aka Sugar Grand Daddy)
I’m sure you’ve heard of Sugar Daddies, they are defined as “a rich, older man who gives money, gifts, etc., to someone (such as a young woman) in exchange for sex, friendship, etc.” They’re out there but I’m talking about the new breed of old men. They’re are in their 80’s and looking for the last “Hurrah!” They want much younger women or YOUNGER-looking women and they’re up front by saying, “I don’t want the ‘Grandma’ types. They are like J. Howard Marshall looking for their Anna Nicole Smith types or Rupert Murdoch, where young, beautiful, and nothing up there will do. The problem with these types is that in actuality they’re looking for a nurse to take them to the end of the road. They don’t like being alone, no one does, so they’re in a rush to batten down the hatches before it is too late. Money is no problem and if a few wrinkles and loose skin get in the way, so what is their motto. Be very clear about what you’re getting into. Most times, they have children who are waiting in the fringes ready to pounce when ‘daddy’ dearest says goodbye so it may not always go as planned, if you’re waiting for that big pay day which might never come. It’s not always a win-win situation with these guys.
There you have it, four more types to watch out for. Dating is not for the weak of heart and neither can you go in with your eyes closed. It takes ‘smarts’ to find the right guy and chutzpah to wiggle your way out if he turns out to be the wrong one. Stay safe.
“If dating a wrong person was a talent, I would be at Paris Olympics representing my country.” Unknown
Update:
I’m still looking for the needle in the haystack but currently taking a break from the dating scene to go within and to find out why I keep making the same mistakes like falling for the wrong types. I am finding some answers but clarity is not there yet. So until I do, dating is on the backburner.
I wish I had a crystal ball that did my bidding! It would show me the future with no questions asked like an obedient little puppy AND I can then go about changing the outcome!
It would be an amazing power to have at my fingertips but then again too much power in the wrong hands can be destructive and frightening if not used wisely. I have this fear factor that runs rampant at times and holds me hostage so a crystal ball might be the perfect anti-dote to keep it at bay or so I think. If I knew the future I would handle life better is my mantra but as we all know, life dictates and there is no handling it just learning how to do the best we can with what is handed down to us. I need to change my mantra.
Do I really want to know the future? YES and NO! However, a crystal ball showing the way would be a tremendous power to have, don’t you think?
Daily writing prompt
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?
“Spring is the time of the year, when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade.” Charles Dickens
This is exactly the kind of weather I love! I don’t like really hot weather so this is the perfect time of year to get out there and to enjoy walks without sweating up a storm and it is what we are having right now. Bright blue skies, cold in the shade but warm and sunny out in the open. A light coat is needed but nothing more. The birds are chirping in the trees and nature is coming alive in more ways than one. I can feel myself doing the same after a long and cold winter and my senses are revving up to go! It is, in my opinion, the most beautiful time of the year and there is more to come and I can’t wait till the trees bloom and everything has a mesmerizing effect. Just a matter of time now.
Dear old man winter,
“I think you need a vacation. You have worked really hard this year. It’s time to let spring start pulling some weight around here too.”
A group of girlfriends go on vacation and see a five story hotel with a sign that reads, “for women only.” Since they are without their boyfriends, they decide to go in.
The doorman, a very attractive guy explains to them how it works. “We have five floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you’re looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has signs telling you what’s on the floor. The only rule is, once you leave a floor, you can’t return to it.”
The women talk it over and decide to go for it.
They start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads, “All the men here are horrible lovers but they are kind and sensitive.”
The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads, “All the men here are wonderful lovers, but they treat women badly.”
This wasn’t going to do, so again they head up the stairs.
The friends move up to the third floor where the sign reads, “All the men here are great lovers and sensitive to the needs of women.”
This was good but there are still two more floors so…..
So on to the fourth floor, and this sign seems perfect. “All the men here have perfect builds, are sensitive and attentive to women, are perfect lovers, they are also single, rich and straight.”
The women are really pleased, but they decide that they would rather see what the FIFTH floor has to offer before they settle.
When they reach the fifth floor, there is only a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is simply no way to please a woman.”
I remember her well. She was young and beautiful but more than that she had a great smile and a quiet way about her. I loved being in her class and somehow I had caught her attention. She would give me an encouraging nod and sometimes outright praise. This stoked my young ego and got me interested in English and in writing in particular. I made it my mission to excel in it!
I was in elementary school and the homework was to write a story, a fictional one. Mine was about a lion, that’s all I can remember but she held it up to the class and said, “This is a beautiful story.” It was the start of my writing career. The lady had no idea that she had set a fire ablaze. Then one day she said, “Tia, come on up and show them how it’s done.” Believe me I was oozing with pride as I walked to the front of the classroom and started writing on the board. Afterwards, she patted me on the head and said, “Well done!” My passion for writing had an outlet and I was on my way.
The English teacher didn’t know it at the time but her kind words, her motivation and her ability to bring forth the talent within me had set the wheels in motion. I became a whizz at writing. My first story made front cover and I was 16 at the time and since then I have written and published thousands of articles. I got my start in a classroom a long time ago from a person who nudged me gently in that direction and nurturing that potential she give me the tools to move ahead. Sometimes it takes just one person to see potential and to light that flame and she did.
Her impact on my writing career was tremendous so thank you.
I woke up bright and early with good intentions all stacked up in a row to have a wonderful day. Deciding to get a few things done and after last night’s struggle with my non-working computer and printer, I decided that today would be a good one come hell or high water.
The sun was shining and all indications pointed to a bright and warm day. I took a deep breath and left the house with a smile on my face. First stop was the ATM. I needed cash so I headed to the machine I knew well. Right before I put my card in the slot, I mumbled, “Please don’t tell me it doesn’t work.” I could feel myself bristling but biting my lip silently I pushed it in. It went through the steps needed and instead of giving me the money I asked for, it said, “Card Malfunction!” I couldn’t believe it. The lady standing behind me tried hers and it worked perfectly! I’ll try the bank I said and walked back to the car. I wanted to scream but instead calmed myself down. Remember, I had good intentions of having a wonderful day.
“A good intention with a bad approach often leads to a poor result.” Thomas A. Edison
I drove to the bank and before I could talk myself into more ‘bad luck’ I decided to put a good spin on it, a voodoo spin that is. I kept telling myself, “You are the luckiest person I know.” I repeated this mantra several times and pulled into an almost empty parking lot. Walking into the bank, I noticed that out of the two money machines, one was out of order! The other one had 10 people with frustrated and angry looks on their faces waiting in line. Could it get any worse and that voodoo thing didn’t work! I stood in line biting my lip and humming quietly to myself. After several long long minutes of waiting, I approached my nemesis, stuck the card in and waited for it to say, “Card Malfunction!” To my surprise, it spitted out the money and I grabbed it before it changed its mind. What was that about a good approach? I clearly wasn’t there yet. The day was just beginning and there was still hope.
“No exact recipe for today. Gather all available ingredients and whip yourself up something delicious.” Lin-Manuel Miranda
I was going to do just that so note to grumpy self, put a smile on your face, get something good to eat and head on home. I was going to have a good day even if it kills me!
“Today is like a ripe avocado, savor it before it turns into yesterday’s guacamole.” Unknown
I don’t like guacamole but I do love fresh ripe avocados. Just saying. Anyway, I made it home and things started taking a turn for the better. My book publisher just sent some illustrations for me to look at and they look perfect. I could feel myself climbing the ladder, the ladder of positivity I mean. Could it be that positive thoughts and a good day go hand in hand? Anyway, the day is definitely getting better. Working out to my favorite music helped as well AND doing nothing but vegetating for the rest of the day suits me just fine.
YOU DO YOU! Whatever it takes to have a wonderful day DO IT. I’m adding one more thing, I’m thankful for this brand new day to make it the best day possible and I’m well on my way. Gratefulness gets you halfway there, the rest is up to you.
“Today is a perfect day to become better.” Unknown
Wishing and making it come true are two different things. However, if wishes could come true, I wish for a day of doing NOTHING! Absolutely nothing.
Most days I get up at around 6 in the morning not because I want to but because Chachi, the cat, has an inbuilt alarm clock that goes off each morning at the very same time. He decides that it is time for his mom to get up as well! After a cup of coffee and a light breakfast, I watch the news. These days watching the news is an uneasy process. I can stomach about 15 minutes or less and it’s enough of Trump and his craziness already!
It is time to get ready for the day. It starts off with a few minutes of meditation and off I go. Some days there is just too much to get done and being single means “fixing” things that don’t work. It could be something as small as replacing a lightbulb or as big as getting a major gadget repaired. Having a house means there are things that need repairing and if I can’t get it done than it’s time to get someone to come in and take care of it. However, I also do things to keep the stress factor in check like walking or just going quiet for a while but I want a day where I can get up at my own leisure, stay in PJs all day and have absolutely nothing to do. No phone calls to answer, no text messages to reply to and nothing to take care off. If not every day then just for a day.
I thought this was funny but SOME may not think so!
BRAINS…..
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.
“Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.”
“Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the relatives.
“For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000.
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked but some nodded in understanding and a few smirked. Then the patient’s daughter asked, “Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?”
“A standard pricing practice,” said the head of the team.
“Women’s brains have to be marked down because they are used.”
Hmm……I can think of one prime example but I’m not going to say anything else!
“A place where you meet yourself, where you embrace and appreciate your own company. Exactly, where you face your fears and rethink your decisions. Solitude is that essential place to recharge our inner energy.” Tuwalily
It’s a place I go to where I can shut out the noise, the distractions and the clutter that make up my life. I go within where there is peace to be found, resilience and strength. Solitude and stillness is where answers can be found and I get the strength to move on from where I’m at.
Solitude is defined as a “healthy, personal discipline that allows you to engage in meaningful self-reflection. Loneliness, however, is a state of sadness because one has no friends or company.” fullsailleadership.com
I embrace solitude and there is a certain deliciousness that comes from being still and listening to what is being told to you. When you get rid of the chatter, you get clarity.
“Solitude is where I place my chaos to rest and awaken my inner peace.” Unknown
Meditation, yoga or just a simple walk in the fields helps to open up a world of possibilities. A world where you are not confronted by what others think of you, of having to measure up, or of conforming to what is considered the norm. You can let go and just be yourself. It’s a place where you can go deep within and really see what you’re holding there, find out who you are and a place where you can learn to let go of what doesn’t serve you. There is peace within and unlimited resources but in order to reap the benefits, you need to come face to face with the ugliness, the so-called remnants of your past and retrain your mind to see different. Change your mindset and everything will start falling into place as it should. Solitude is where I find my peace and if I’m willing, it shows me who I am and what I need to change to get to the other side.
“Solitude is dangerous. It’s addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.” Unknown
I spend a lot of time by myself. I’m learning to love it to the point that I choose my own company to that of being with friends or family. I think that I am my own best friend which is a good thing but as the quote says, it can be addicting and like I sometimes say, I’m a recluse or at least feel like one at other times. I’ve come up with a solution to this predicament. I’m really going to make an effort to spend more time with people to break this monotony because both is needed to make me a complete person. However, home is where my heart is.
My bouts of solitude has made me stronger and fully capable of dealing with what life throws my way. There is strength in solitude so seek it, use it and learn that there is a source you can go to when life decides it’s that time again. What time? Time to learn another lesson and before you go, “Oh no!” make solitude your friend and ally and things will start looking up.
“Make yourself a priority once in a while. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary.” Unknown
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