Tag: friendship

False Friends

Photo by Beyzanur K. on Pexels.com

Fake friends are, “people who pretend to care about you but don’t actually have your best interests at heart. Also known as false friends or fair-weather friends, they tend to act like friends only when it benefits them.” http://www.verywellmind.com

I’m sure you’ve had one or two of these characters as so called friends and perhaps you still do. They’re opportunistic, insincere, and are only interested in what they can gain from the relationship and couldn’t care one iota less about you. When it comes to “showing up” in times of need, they are nowhere to be found.

Here’s how to identify fake friends:

They show little or no interest in you, your life and your problems. It is all about them.

They’ll approach you when they need your help but are invisible when you need theirs.

Their support is based on conditions, only when it benefits them.

They bring negative vibes into your life because they are in a negative place themselves.

They are jealous and they try to compete with you rather than be happy for you.

They break your trust by talking behind your back.

Spending time with them often drains your energy and leaves you feeling like there is something missing.

That’s because there is. A true friend is someone who helps you up when you’re down but you can forget about this concept with “false friends.”

Here are some quotes that help to bring the message home.

“Everybody isn’t your friend. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn’t mean they are your friend. People pretend well. At the end of the day, real situations expose fake people, so pay attention.” Unknown

“Fake friends are like actors, they play their part until the curtain falls.” Unknown

“Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. They pretend to be your friend first.” Steve Irwin

“Fake friends stab you and pretend they are the ones bleeding.” Unknown

“Stop texting first and see how many dead plants you’ve been watering.” Unknown

I love this one and it does speak to the heart of the matter.

“A two-faced friend is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, hiding their true intentions behind a mask of friendship.” Unknown

“An open enemy is often a better thing to have than a false friend.” Unknown

“Sometimes the person you are willing to take the bullet for is the one who pulls the trigger.” Unknown

Choose your friends carefully and if one of these wolves in sheep’s clothing show up proclaiming friendship, you know what to do.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” Walter Winchell

AND

“Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.” Paulo Coelho

Have an amazing day.

BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

“Best Friends (circa 1910) Fred” by Museum of New Zealand/ CC0 1.0

“When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.” Mandy Hale

How often have you looked to others for validation, to lift you up, to make you feel important, to give their approval and to make you feel loved? I know I have and have found myself wallowing in self-pity or even questioning me as a person. I am learning that loving yourself comes first. YOU are important, what you tell yourself is important. Be kind and gentle here because the way you talk to yourself is important. Work on yourself, it is the key element to get you out of the rut. What rut? The stuck in the mud rut. Your goal is to get you moving to a better life and to feel comfortable with yourself.

Invest in Yourself

This may sound like a new concept because we spend a lot of our energy and money in so many materialistic things but in our rush to please ourselves, we forget the all-important person who is left wanting. Invest in time spent with yourself, this doesn’t take much but dedication. A walk in nature to nurture your soul, meditation to look inwards and find peace, working out to bolster your health or even spend time talking to yourself. If you have the means, pamper yourself. Go for a massage, get a facial, get a nail or feet treatment and no, it doesn’t mean you are vain. It just means you are putting yourself first and showing love to the person who matters the most and that is YOU.

Invest in your Environment

Your home is your castle? Work to make it that way. Spruce up your garden, plant flowers that give you joy when they bloom and fill your space with color. Redo your living area and or your bedroom and add things to make you feel comfortable. Make it a place you love spending time in and love coming back to but most of all, a place where you can relax and pamper your soul.

Get Rid of the Unwanted

This is hard. If you want to be your own best friend, you need to make space for the important things. Get rid of the things that bog you down, the people who make you question who you are because they are in a bad place in their lives. If their only goal in life is to bring you down to their level of despair, let them go! Sometimes getting rid of the unwanted makes room for what is needed. New friends, love, laughter, joy and peace.

Say this to yourself and mean it.

“You are hands down, my favorite person.” Unknown

Being your own best friend takes time as it is with everything that matters. Be forgiving, speak softly and lovingly to yourself, encourage yourself, love yourself and work towards looking in the mirror and loving the person staring back at you. Be your own validation and life will get easier.

How to be your own best friend:

“Look in the mirror and give yourself a high-five.

Ask yourself often, “how are you feeling?”

Cry when you need to.

Give yourself a hug.

Forgive yourself for going back to old patterns and behaviors.

Encourage yourself with words you would use to encourage a friend.” Unknown

Good luck and I am on the self-same journey.