Failure has many facets but when it happens as it inevitably does, it is not seen as the stepping stone to success at a later point in time. In my case, I see it as the unwanted monster that has come to throw hot water or as a form of destruction on my path to success.
Rarely do I accept it for what it is, just a hiccup in the grand scheme of things. It too is part and parcel of our daily existence and a learning curve that needs to be mastered. There has been many instances where I met “failure” in one form or another and I crumbled at first. However, it did set me up for future successes.
I told my son yesterday that if he doesn’t get the job, it is not the end of the world. He is learning to fly on his own and landing the job of his dreams or just a job is at the center of his world right now. The guy is doing fine but learning to accept failure or rather that rejections are part of the job seeking process is another thing altogether for someone who is just venturing out into the job market. I know he will master that process as well as he has done with all the other things that has come his way and will come his way in the future.
Failure as I see it these days, after having fallen flat on my face many times over, is not the monster it seems to be. It has taught me to be resilient, to find other ways of achieving what I want to do and it has made me stronger in a lot of ways. Most of all, I no longer fall on my knees when it visits. I take a step back, look at the options and move on from there. Easier said than done I know.
Daily writing prompt
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?
He’s at it again. I think the time he spends sitting on his golden throne in the early morning hours is definitely affecting his thinking process not to mention his policy making decisions.
The stock market has taken a dive, he has halted aid to Ukraine and as if that wasn’t enough he has started the dumbest trade war. The allies are in an uproar because the Narcissist-in-Chief is acting like a schoolyard bully throwing punches left and right. Perhaps he is mad because talks with President Zelensky didn’t go as expected. Narcissists are used to having things their way and when the “bullying” didn’t produce the effects they expected, Zelensky was sent packing. However, instead of being praised for what they did, the backlash was heavy-handed and not to his liking.
If that wasn’t enough to stop him in his tracks, the “bully” is back and he is kicking up his heels. He has put new 25% tariffs on imports from Mexico and Canada and they are not taking it sitting down. Both countries are vowing to retaliate in a way that will hurt and hit hard at the same time.
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said that Ottawa would respond with 25% tariffs on (20,7 billion) worth of U.S. imports. Ontario Premier Doug Ford told NBC that “they are ready to cut off shipments of nickel and transmission of electricity from his province to the U.S.” Claudia Sheinbaum will announce her response later today as far as Mexico is concerned and China will impose an additional tariff of 10% – 15% starting March 10 and new export restrictions for designated U.S. entities as well. Tit for Tat and it is only going to get worse.
“Today’s reckless decision by the U.S. administration is forcing Canada and U.S. toward recessions, job losses and economic disaster,” according to Canadian Chamber of Commerce CEO Candace Laing.
The spin cycle is set at a blistering pace but the convicted felon who has 34 felony convictions to his name and who is now the current president is marching on impervious to the havoc and destruction he has caused and is causing in his wake. He’s off and running to his next debacle which will take place sooner than later, of this I am sure. Just a matter of time.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia
Kindness or being kind is no longer as important as it used to be. We live in a self-obsessed world and when once we used to have close interactions with people, it is now being replaced with chats, text messages or quick hellos and goodbyes. The emoji is front and center when it comes to showing you care and there is one for every emotion you can think of including sadness. We’ve become so impersonal that closeness is a thing of the past and showing emotions much less so. We live in a fast paced world where technology is king and people a commodity like anything else.
Yet, we haven’t changed much or have we? I think we have. People have become much more self-centered and ‘me’ first is often the case. If you hurt someone these days you send an emoji to say you’re sorry. It could be in the form of a one tear- drop emoji or just a kiss emoji and you’ve done your ‘compassion’ and ‘kindness’ part. However, this makes it hard to have a human connection when you come across as a robot. The more we rely on technology to do the human stuff, the less your heart interacts and hardens to a point. Kindness is a very human trait and it can’t be replaced by emojis no matter how cute they are. It is just a stop-gap measure. The warmth of kindness comes from within, deep within your soul and emojis and other futuristic entities masquerading as the real thing can never take the place of human emotions no matter how advanced technology gets and that’s the truth.
Case in point: I was sad the other day and I shared that with a friend. Immediately he sent a kiss emoji and the word ‘sorry.’ That was it, he had done his job on being human or so he thought but I was left feeling like it could have been a little more, how about the human touch, it was sorely missing. A conversation would have been nice or even checking to see if I was ok from time to time but looking at it from his standpoint he had shown his compassion with an emoji and besides anything else would have taken too much time from his day and he had more important things to do.
Helping each other is fast becoming a thing of the past and so are other forms of kindness. We are a ‘me’ society first and foremost and everything else takes a back seat AND we have an app for everything so why even bother with being nice? Do we have an app for kindness as well? I’ll have to check on that because I’ve been showing kindness the old-fashioned way. Smiles, warm hugs, eye contact and a helping hand are still my go-to for kindness and it works just fine from the human angle.
“Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown
How about sharing a smile? It is known as the universal language of kindness after all. When was the last time you smiled at someone? When did you even look up from your phone, tablet or computer to really look at the world around you? It’s becoming a lost art, this human interaction thing and it’s scary.
“It only takes a split second to smile and forget, yet to someone that needed it, it can last a lifetime.” Steve Maraboli
Here’s a call to bringing kindness back. I’m not talking about the “I care but only for a split second,” or “I see your tears but I can’t give you a hug because I’m too busy,” variety. I’m talking about reaching out and showing you really do care. It is going to take a little bit of your time, effort and patience but the rewards are plentiful. That human touch needs to be put front and center again and let’s just use those cute little emojis ONLY when we have no other choice. Start with a warm smile and the rest takes care of itself.
“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.” Jackie Chan
I wrote this a while back but looks like nothing much has changed, if anything the bullying has taken a persona of its own and it is terrifying if not downright disgusting.
“Bullying is the result of an unequal power dynamic – the strong attacking the weak.” Maria Konnikova
Trump is toxic, he is dangerous and he is a bully through and through. He has used the bully pulpit to his advantage and used his power to belittle those he deems not worthy of compassion or kindness. The man is ruthless when it comes to spewing insults. His motto is, “Talk first, think later,” and this approach has got him into hot water more than once. It seems his toxic nature is part and parcel of his makeup, character wise I mean. Furthermore, he is sorely lacking in how a President should present himself because everything comes down to one thing and that is himself. It is not about the people but about loud-mouthed, asinine Trump and that is why he goes from one gaffe to the next all the while with that Cheshire cat grin plastered on his face.
According to James Barber, who published a well-known study on presidential character, a good President should have the following leadership qualities:
A strong vision for the country’s future.
An ability to put their own times in the perspective of history.
Effective communication skills.
The courage to make unpopular decisions.
Crisis management skills.
Character and integrity.
Wise appointments.
An ability to work with Congress.
Furthermore, he added that Presidents must wear many hats and they “must somehow symbolize what American citizens believe to be the essence of their country. They must represent what is valued now and in the past. But even more importantly, they embody the direction of America’s future.”
Do you see Trump doing any or all of the above? He is first and foremost a playground bully who marches to his own drumbeat and that fact alone makes him more than dangerous. One thing he is good at is name-calling and he does it with such prowess that it is mind boggling. From “Crooked Hillary,” to “Pocohontas,” for Elizabeth Warren, to “Shifty Schiff,” for Adam Schiff and “Sleepy Biden,” for Biden but that is just touching the tip of the iceberg. Mr. Trump does not hold back when it comes to throwing punches of the unsavory kind. He takes it all in stride and moves on like the master manipulator he is.
He is single-handedly changing the characteristics of a President but not for the better. ”From referencing a television host’s menstrual cycle to using vulgar phrases to describe opponents to his encouragement of violence at rallies, Trump’s insults have known no bounds and have been a dominant storyline of the campaign,” and continue to be so even today. Other candidates have used insults and mud-slinging but not to the extend that “Orange Jesus” has. ”His speeches have crossed lines, pushed fact checkers to their limits and incited backlash – all the while further stoking the passions of his most ardent supporters.” Just look at his recent debacle where he said he would “encourage” Russia to attack any NATO country that does not contribute 2% of its GDP to the alliance’s coffers. It was a reckless threat which has contributed to fierce backlash in Europe. Does he care? What do you think?
Add to that his constant posturing like a peacock, running his mouth like a loose faucet and his GOD complex mentality and you’ve got a bully at his very best alas to the detriment of the country. Biden’s mental acuity is concerning but Trump’s playground antics and all out temper tantrums are far more terrifying if you ask me.
Paulo Coelho de Souze is a Brazilian lyricist and novelist. His book, “The Alchemist” was on the New York Times bestseller list for over 40o weeks and he is brilliant at getting across what life is all about and how to deal with it. I’ve posted some of his quotes here before but here are some more to whet the appetite.
“Life has a way of testing a persons will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.”
That’s because “life” is thinking let’s shake things up! It is getting too BORING!
“If you’re brave enough to say ‘GOODBYE’ life will reward you with a new ‘HELLO’.
I’ve been brave many times over and I’m still waiting for the hellos or it could be I say goodbyes more often than the hellos coming in and it has a hard time keeping up!
“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”
I absolutely agree on this one.
“Things do not always happen the way I would have wanted, and it’s best that I get used to it.”
This is a hard one. I want things to happen the way I WANT IT for a change.
“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.”
I am learning to leave things in the past BUT the past keeps calling me and I oblige! That is the problem in a nutshell.
“Sometimes you have to travel a long way to find what is near.”
That is human nature. Complicated is what it is about and I can attest to it whole-heartedly.
“And when you can’t go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward.”
Small steps forward and you will get to your next destination. I hope it’s a good one.
“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.”
Oh God, I don’t know about this one. If that is what life does, I am sunk!
And finally this:
“When a woman has not had SEX for a long time, She turns…..”
Turns into what?!! Becomes wiser? I can agree with that and a little weird? I can agree with that too. This one left me hanging!
I think it would be my computer, my mobile phone and lastly but not least my car.
The computer is the first thing I go to after having my first cup of coffee and breakfast. I wonder what is waiting for me there. Perhaps a message from the publisher that the final manuscript is waiting for my approval but so far no luck there! Otherwise, I look at what the Daily Prompt is about and go from there. It is a companion of sorts although inanimate but still it is something I can’t live without. What if it breaks down? Lord, have mercy! I think I would be lost without it.
The mobile phone is my security blanket. It is there as a back up if the land line doesn’t work or for some reason is down which has happened many times before. It is next to me when I go to sleep and one I reach for in the middle of the night when sleep evades me. There is information at my finger tips and help if needed when I am out and about. Nope, I can’t live without it either.
My car is my mode of transportation to get me from Point A to Point B. I don’t think about how much I need it until it breaks down which it did a month or two ago and then it hit home that I had been taking it for granted. It was time to change that mindset! It is back and running and purring like a new born.
Three inanimate objects but I can’t see my life without them and they are needed for my daily existence. Perhaps I place too much importance on them but that’s the way it is and so it will stay.
He’s the wrong guy if he does some or all of the things below. There are reasons why he’s the wrong guy so pay attention to your heart and listen to your intuition. It has your best interest at heart. The following quotes clearly speak to the heart of the matter.
“So many girls fall in love with the wrong guy simply because the wrong guy usually says all the right things.” Unknown
“The wrong man will always find reasons to leave. While, the right man will always find enough reasons to stay.” Unknown
“The wrong person makes you beg for attention, affection, love and commitment. The right person gives you these things because they love you.” Unknown
“The right attention from the wrong guy during a lonely time could fool you into thinking he might be the one.” Unknown
Loneliness creates dire circumstances and this is one of them. Finding our way to the wrong guy is made so much easier when loneliness steps in.
“Don’t settle. It’s better to face a little loneliness now than a lifetime of loneliness with the wrong person.” Mandy Hale
“When it’s the wrong person, anything you ask is too much.” Steve Maraboli
“At your absolute best, you still won’t be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right person.” Unknown
Pay special attention to this one because with the wrong guy, it is never enough. Nothing you do will be enough and he’ll find excuses for why that is so. It is not you, it is him.
“Never let the wrong man waste your time and precious energy.” Unknown
If he’s the right one, he’ll find his way to you. If he’s not, he’ll be gone in a blinding minute. Sit up and take notice before it’s too late. The wrong guy is not your destiny but rather he walks in to teach you a lesson. Love is not made up of moments spent together, IT IS moments treasured together and the wrong guy will just provide lip service with no substance to it and when it comes down to showing he cares, he’s nowhere to be found. The wrong guy will walk at a moment’s notice and will even tell you to leave while the right one will weather the storm and sometimes even walk you through that storm. Wait for that person and do not settle for anything less than love, respect and commitment.
“Ladies, the right man for you will pursue you. Actively. He won’t leave you wondering whether he’s into you or not.” Mandy Hale
AND
If you want to find happiness, stay the hell away from a**holes! This is something I have to drill into my head as well.
It’s Sunday and too early in the morning to go that deep but I’ll give it a try since I just had my first cup of coffee and my mind is raring to go!
I would say “loss.” Many of us go through it and some of us refuse to learn from it. Loss to us is simply that. Losing something precious, losing a relationship for whatever the reason and of course death is the ultimate loss. These three things taught me that life is fragile but more importantly life is about learning because it (life) has lessons planned and learning and moving on is the only way to go. Standing still is not an option, screaming and howling is not an option, although you can try and I have, thumping your nose at it is not going to work either.
More than my marriage breaking up, I think it was death that brought home the fact that nothing lasts forever but I have strength, incredible strength within the kind that is capable of slaying monsters. First I had to accept that the person had moved on and I was left standing to pick up the pieces. It took crying, incredible grief, talking to myself, finding avenues to let that grief out but most of all when all was said and done, I took up the reins of life again and moved forward one step at a time and I am still moving forward although some days are harder than others. Loss teaches us that when one door closes another one opens. If you keep looking at that closed door, there is no moving forward but if you embrace and move through that open door there is a world of opportunities and new possibilities waiting to be discovered. Courage is needed and of course strength to push you through. It is still a learning process for me and I haven’t reached the pinnacle yet but maybe one day I will or maybe life is just that, when you think you’ve mastered a lesson along comes another. If that’s the case, make it a simpler one the next time around PLEASE!
Daily writing prompt
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
What took place at the Oval Office yesterday was shocking, disgusting, malicious and downright shameful!
President Zelensky was ambushed and bullied not in any schoolyard but in the Oval Office by two arrogant and uncouth individuals who didn’t give a flipping flip if the whole world was watching. He was an invited guest not to mention a beleaguered but giant of a man who had been fighting against an enemy who he referred to as “the killer” and rightfully so. He had come to the White House begging for assistance but instead he got the takedown! Furthermore, he was labeled as being “disrespectful” but the only people who were disrespectful were the President of the United States and his VP who acted like hooligans on the world stage.
After the horrific blowup, Trump had this to say: “I think we’ve seen enough. This is going to be great television, I will say.”
Great television it was not but more like “Bully TV.” The ceasefire agreement with Russia and the mineral deal with the US both went up in smoke because the bullies in question decided to hold a shouting match instead. JD Vance further added,
“I think it’s disrespectful for you to come to the Oval Office to try to litigate this in front of the American media. You should be thanking the President for trying to bring an end to this conflict.”
Bend your knee and kiss the ring or else all hell will break loose was the message there.
Shortly after, Zelensky was out the door and all peace talks were halted by the new Chief and the man at the helm of the new administration. Trump further added:
“You’re right now not in a good position. You don’t have the cards right now with us, you start having problems right now.”
Hmm….what?!! What played out in the Oval Office was hard to watch but more importantly it signaled what the future of this presidency will look like. Diplomacy, compassion and empathy have all flown the coop and strongmen tactics, boorish behavior and siding with the “bad guys” is what it is about.
The White House deserves a modicum of decorum but it was nowhere to be found yesterday. It too had gone hiding while rude and bullying tactics were front and center. What’s next? Let’s “put the screws on” as bullies do to get what they want.
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