I think I do both. I think about the past a lot mostly about mistakes I’ve made and how not to repeat them again. They say if used wisely you learn from your past. However, we are prone to repeat those same mistakes if we are wired a certain way meaning we find comfort in those same things that caused us the problems in the first place so I do place a lot of effort and energy into finding out what they are and how to go about changing those behavior traits.
Thinking about the future is inevitable because I am an overthinker and as such I use the “what if” scenario a lot. Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball to predict the future and since that is never going to happen, the next best thing is to think about it! This year, I am going to trust in the journey as I said in one of my articles and to go with the flow. Fingers crossed!
Daily writing prompt
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
It’s Day 4 of a brand new year and it’s time to let that light of yours shine!
I think a lot of us let others dictate how brightly that light shines or more often than not, we let them dim our light. It could be through a put down, a slight, a rejection, anger, confusion and a host of other things that tend to make us feel insecure and even unworthy. We crawl into the shell we call our home and sometimes we turn off that light and brood in darkness.
YOU don’t need someone else to turn on or turn off that light of yours. Turn it on and let it shine brightly. YOU are beautiful as you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. YOU are worthy, YOU deserve respect and YOU have a light within you so turn it on and step into that light. Let it shine for all the world to see and know that there is only one YOU, only one unique YOU and that should be enough to let that light shine like a beacon so no one misses it.
As the song goes, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.”
Let’s amp up the voltage and let that light shine like never before! Here’s to a great year.
I woke up this morning hoping to see the streets and rooftops covered in white but no luck there! “Magic” was what I was expecting but the weather decided otherwise and the forecasters were wrong again!
What a tease?!! Promise of snow has been in the forecast for the last few days but each time I get my hopes high and think tomorrow is the day I’m going to take the first walk of this year and be welcomed by snow-covered fields has amounted to nothing but disappointment.
I love SNOW! Let me take that back. I love snow as long as it is not accompanied by ice. I love the soft powdery kind that looks like icing on the cake and is sprinkled thick over the fields covering them in white, blinding white for as far as the eyes can see. A pristine and serene landscape that captures the imagination and takes off running to parts unknown. At least mine does but then again I have an overactive imagination.
So far, we’ve had a light smattering of snow in December but when I headed out to the fields most of it had melted and the pathways were a wintry mix of snow and mud, not my idea of “magic” folks.
We don’t get much snow in these parts. If we’re lucky, we might get some heavy snowfall two or three times during winter and that is it. I’m still waiting for it to dump some heavy duty snow but all it has done so far is to “tease” with promises of more to come. This morning I walked out the front door and a few flakes greeted my unbelieving eyes and hope springs eternal but alas, it was not to be. The sun is shining brightly now and those itsy bitsy tiny flakes were a tease as well!
I guess it will come when it is good and ready and not a moment sooner. Here’s the thing, the forecast says snow this weekend! Hmm…..not buying it until it shows up wearing bells and brings snow drifts to boot! It’s a wait and see approach now AND the “teasing” has got to stop! Put the snow where it belongs, right there in the fields and I’ll be quiet for a change. Please ! Pretty please!!
If I’m talking about a relationship, I would say it would be trust. It is sorely lacking where I am concerned. I know trust has to be earned and sometimes it takes years to build but it could also be destroyed in a matter of seconds as I learned in my life. I’ve been trying to regain it ever since but it is sorely lacking and therefore makes any relationship I step into a hard one to navigate and unfortunately for me the menfolk prove over and over again that I shouldn’t give my trust blindly.
Trust would be the number 1 gift someone could give me but I also know that it takes two to tango so I must also be willing to meet that person halfway and to give them a chance to prove their trustworthiness. Right now or for a long time I’ve had a lock around my heart because of this trust issue and so most of my relationships go down south before even taking off. Perhaps before I can receive that gift of trust, I need to make some changes as well. That’s a hard one for me.
No matter how many detours we take or delays we encounter, we will always be led back to where we’re meant to be.” Nicole Spindler
Beautifully said but trusting the journey you’re on is hard and accepting that everything will turn out for the best is harder still. Humans want control of the situation or at least I do. I don’t like the idea of some unseen force manipulating the outcome and that is a frightening concept for me. However, if truth be told, perhaps there is no other way. You’ve heard the saying, if it is meant to be, it will be and what if we just let go and let it unfold as it was meant to be. A doable thing? Speaking from my standpoint, that is next to impossible for me.
“Don’t let what happens or what doesn’t happen bother you. Life has a way of rearranging perfectly so that what you truly need can come together.” Unknown
If I step aside that is. My problem is that I want to know what is coming up or what life has in store for me before it comes up. I spend a lot of time overthinking the negatives even before it has happened but that is human nature I suppose. Much of my time is wasted on projections that never take place and if and when it happens I am fully capable of handling the outcome.
Trusting the journey I am on demands that I accept what comes my way. “Be quiet” whispers the all-knowing power of the unknown, the universe or God in his wisdom or whatever you believe in. It says, “Let me work this out for you, I’ve got this and you need to trust in the journey. You’ll be fine.” The untrusting part within screams, “I’m afraid! What if I fail or I fall flat on my face or there is no getting up from this?” That too is human nature.
“Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly, “You got this, keep going.” Unknown
Perhaps, trusting the journey is not about rushing, not pushing and shoving and not about stomping your feet and demanding but that it is more about accepting that everything is being worked out behind the scenes and you just need to sit back and accept and know that the outcome will be exactly as it was meant to be. It doesn’t mean you have to stop working on yourself, putting effort out on what needs to be done and making your way through life, it means knowing that there is a higher force who is on your side. Not so simple? I know, it isn’t for me either. What if there is a higher power working on your behalf and it has got your back? Wonderful don’t you think? Now, I just need to trust in that concept. Good luck you say? I know but it’s worth a try.
“Trust the process, trust your journey. You are going TO BE OKAY.” Unknown
Wow, I think before I get through these daily prompts, my whole life will be out there on display!
Let’s see, I studied Journalism and later went into Education because journalism required that I finish articles or reports at a given time span and it was too much pressure for me and it took the fun out of writing. I love writing but I wanted to do it at my own pace so I backed out of doing it full-time.
I didn’t give up on writing altogether. I kept at it by writing freelance articles, writing for a fashion magazine, writing for a political website and published a book. When all is said and done, writing is still my first love only not the pressurized variety. These days I take it at my own pace and write about whatever I want and that I find brings out the best in me and my writing.
Colleges I attended? That’s for me to know and for you to find out.
I’ve written about this topic before but it’s worth repeating. Anger has the potential to destroy and in its worst form when it steps in as rage, violence erupts, but not always. It is an emotion that can be annoying, a pesky below the skin variety that pokes and causes discomfort and unrest or it can do damage of the worst kind if not reeled in.
It is defined as, “an intense emotional state involving a strong, uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat.”
Sounds simple enough doesn’t it? However, it is not that simple and neither is it of the harmless kind. If left to simmer unchecked like some of us do, it has the potential to erupt in unexpected ways and more often than not to your own detriment.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain
I’ve gone through different forms of anger in my life as most of us have, from the mild variety to the last stage involving rage. This last one has the potential to turn a mild-mannered person like myself into someone unrecognizable. My bout with rage appeared when my mother was murdered by an immigrant for a few pieces of jewelry. My disbelief morphed into anger of the worst kind. I would play the scene over and over again in my mind until I became the victim and she, the killer, had the upper hand. There was no changing what had happened but that didn’t matter. I wanted revenge! Some days, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore because “anger” was corroding within me and I was unable to see clearly or to find my way out of this predicament.
“Anger doesn’t solve anything, it builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.” Lawrence Douglas Wilder
It took years and I almost let it destroy my life. Writing and putting my feelings down on paper helped and publishing several articles and getting the message out there also helped because as in this case as with most cases these days, the perpetrators have more rights than the victims. My mother did not get the justice she deserved. It was another blow to an already fragile psyche but I had to deal with it. I could have gone off the deep-end but as I have said here many times before, there is strength within. It is of the incredible kind and I tapped into it. I had to survive this ordeal not only for my sake but for those around me. I wanted to kill “her” or thoughts of that magnitude did cross my mind but not for long. I was made of better stuff and I relied on my inner strength to get me through and it did.
“Anger is one letter short of danger.” Unknown
Remember anger is one emotion if left to run wild and unchecked it can destroy and it can wreck more than havoc in your life. It is not worth it and no matter how unfair or unjust you think life is, there is a better way than grabbing hold of anger and letting it take you for a ride. There are better ways of dealing with anger and some of them are to observe, understand even if it seems impossible at the time, make peace, focus on the good, forgive (I couldn’t do this one), and LET IT GO!
A wise man was asked what is anger?
He gave a beautiful answer.
It is a punishment we give to ourself, for somebody else’s mistake.
Sometimes there is nothing left to do but to accept what you can’t change, salvage what you can and move on. Anger solves nothing but it can destroy everything.
I do have one thing I try to do everyday and that is to play with Chachi, the cat. We’ve come up with a different version of hide-and-seek and the little guy knows exactly what to do! I hide and he needs to find me. The difference to this version is that when he finds me and I catch him, he gets 10 kisses each time.
It’s not about the finding but the kisses that matters. Some days he walks away with more than 30 kisses but who’s counting! I love giving him kisses and he loves getting them and that’s what counts. It is a sort of bonding time for us but let me tell you, I am pooped by the time we finish! He walks off with a grin on his face if you can call it that, happy with the world and with his mommy.
Daily writing prompt
Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?
One of my resolutions for this year is to cut out the “Cheesecake Fetish” altogether! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it is this all-consuming lust for cheesecake!
This particular fetish started last year and since then it has taken on a gigantic personality. I never used to be a person who needed a “fix” of something sweet or of anything else for that matter. Somehow I got on the cheesecake train and have refused to get off.
To make matters worse and as life would have it, I met someone who offered me a slice of the best cheesecake in town and I was hooked. I wasn’t hooked on the guy but on what he had to offer. This love fest took off to new heights when every time he went to play tennis, he would bring me a whole cheesecake from the store close to the tennis club. How convenient? What’s that saying? “The way to someone’s heart is through their stomach.” He basically took it to heart and I had my never-ending supply of cheesecake of the very best kind.
The problem. Ever heard of cheesecake taunting? Neither have I but every time I walked past the refrigerator, I would hear it knocking and calling out my name! It got to the point where I would just open the fridge, stand there in its all-encompassing presence and bathe in its scrumptiousness. I was able to ration it to one slice a day and so it has been until I realized that thoughts of “cheesecake” accompanied me on my walks!
It was time to hit the brakes. Willpower needs to take a stand and show this bad behavior the door! This year I’m going to have one slice per week, no ifs or buts about it. It will be my reward for working on myself. I don’t care how loud it cries from behind the refrigerator door and begs me to take a bite, I WILL turn a deaf ear and sip on mundane coffee to stave off the craving.
Hard is not the word for it, but I’ve got to start somewhere before that “craving” takes over my life! What about the fixer? Well, I’ve put him on notice not before seeing the disbelief go flitting past his face but I’m sure he’ll find new ways of getting through to the heart that has locks, chains and a moat surrounding it! If there’s a will, there’s a way as they say.
It’s time for coffee and I swear I can hear the half- finished cheesecake screaming my name but nope not today. It’s time to put on my shoes and do 30 minutes of HIIT training! Willpower do your thing! Yes, WE CAN do this!
It’s page 1 of 365! A blank one to put whatever you want to on it. Let’s make it a good one as we step into the New Year with hopes, dreams and unfulfilled wishes. May it all come true!
Dear Past:
Thank you for all the lessons you taught me. Not all of them were good but they had to be learned.
Dear Future:
I am ready to embrace whatever is coming my way! However, if I want to run back to my old ways, please drag me to the water and make me drink from it!
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