Tag: trust

The first OP went better than I expected. I thought I was going to die but I’m still here and recuperating. The wound seems to be healing and I made six rounds in the garden today, walking from one end to other with no problems. Still, I am impatient and I want to get back to my normal routine of 40 minutes of bone-busting workouts!

Patience you say? Exactly what friends are saying. Anyway, the second OP is looming in the not so distant future, less than five weeks away and I’ll be wheeled into that operating room again. Seems like a long time before that happens but I know it is just a matter of time before I am staring it in the face!

I prepared like an athlete for the first one. Working out with weights, cardio, walks, meditation, and eating right were all part and parcel of my daily routine. It seemed to help because I was up and walking a few hours after the procedure and did 4 or 5 rounds in the hospital room with no help at all. Add no pain to it, no meds and no painkillers and it seemed like I was coasting through on clouds. Well, not quite. I was still attached to a couple of things but according to the Gods, the doctors, I was doing exceptionally well.

Coming back to the second OP, this one is going to be different. I know what to expect but the outcome is still unknown. Plus, I’m not able to workout like I want. These itty bitty walks in the garden is not going to do it. Keeping off my feet and resting is not going to do it either so I’m worried. Will I fare as well?

I don’t know and that is scaring the …. out of me! Planning ahead has always been my thing and I try not to leave things to chance. I find that I can’t do that with this one. Have faith? I am trying but just when I think I’ve conquered my fears, another bigger and stronger one rolls in. It comes in waves.

Concentrating on what I can control is my next step. Today, I made my six rounds in the garden. Then I got my bag and decided to pack the essentials again. This time a much smaller bag. Wishful thinking? Maybe, but fingers, toes, and everything else crossed!

The bag is not fully packed, it never is. I am “female” remember. We always need more. The next step is to eat right, try not to lift anything that could cause problems and get myself out of the house! It is getting claustrophobic!

A friend is going to come by later and drive me to the cafe. We plan to have coffee and breakfast there and people watch for a little while. It should be a good outing and will do wonders for my mind and psyche.

Have an amazing day.