It is Sunday and I am feeling better than I did yesterday. Thought I’d share this beautiful song. It touches my soul and after the path I walked recently, it means more than you know.
Have a wonderful Sunday!
Tag: hope
Back from the Dead!
I thought I was a goner when I went in for the surgery. It was going to be a two-hour operation with risks involved as with most procedures that requires a surgeon’s hands to put things back together again. You probably read about my fears here and the feeling that I was going to die was front and center!
It is now Day 6 after the surgery. I came home yesterday with another OP looming next month. What? Yes, they need to do another one to make sure everything is as it should be. According to one doctor, “You will be a new person once it is done.” Or dead was my retort but I kept it to myself.
They (the doctors) expected pain to be a mainstay but were surprised when none showed up. I was hooked up to different things and one in particular I couldn’t stand! A nurse helped me to walk a few hours after the surgery and I did fine. She left the room and I decided to do it on my own. I trained like an athlete before the procedure so I knew I was fully capable of doing it. I walked the length and width of the room and did it with no problems except for a few twinges here and there. I jotted the progress down. Two hours later, I did it again! By end of day, I had done 5 rounds!
Day 2, I was up at break of day. I couldn’t sleep because the anesthesia was giving me a run for the money! It was still coursing through my veins and sleeplessness or rather insomnia was one of the after effects. The main thing, I wasn’t being given pain killers. My body was reacting well and HEALING I hoped. They checked the vitals and everything was excellent. The light at the end of the tunnel?
It looked like it except for the second OP looming in the not so distant future. I made up my mind to go throw the storm and meet it head on when it shows up. I still had time, for now the healing needs to take place and I will work hard on that. No workouts, no heavy lifting, no driving, and no eating crap! Coffee is down to one cup a day, anything that can irritate the wound is out the window, and lots of rest and relaxation. I can weather the first two, that last one is going to be hard. I LOVE moving around!
I made it up and down the stairs yesterday! Very, very, slowly of course. I can’t lift Chachi and hold him close because he is considered too heavy! So, I’ve been stroking him and giving him kisses, lots of it.
Recovery needs lots of work and I’ve already started. I have to look at other alternatives of keeping myself fit and ready for the next phase of what is coming up. Walking in the garden is one option, not fast but slow and steady is the way to go. Three times a day should do it.
I was rolled into that operating theatre with two heavyweights by my side. My angel who never leaves my side and the ONE who moves mountains. I’m sure he guided the surgeon’s hands as well!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
A Song of Hope and Trust
I love this beautiful country gospel song. It gives me strength and hope.
A Tough Day
I spent most of yesterday in the hospital. What should have been a pre-op meeting with the anesthesiologist and the surgeon turned out to be a long drawn out affair. They were short on staff so it meant long waiting times.
Being punctual, I showed up on time. It was time to meet them and to see what is coming my way. The first meeting was with a lady who asked a lot of questions and took down the next of kin’s information in case something goes wrong! Then it was back to the waiting room. Forty minutes later, I was called in again for blood samples and an urine sample. Back out again in the waiting room, 3o minutes later the meeting with the anesthesiologist took place. A nice guy who explained the procedure, asked more questions, and told me, “Operations always have risks.” Hmm….that didn’t help to quiet my already raging mind. I was sent outside again and it was time to wait again. Then I was called in to another office and I met with the surgeon, not the one who will be doing the procedure, she said someone from her team will be doing the actual operation but it won’t be her. Why am I talking to people who will not be doing the actual procedure? Maybe it works differently in Germany.
Anyway, we had a good talk, a few laughs, and then I was sent back out again. Thirty minutes later, I went into another room and was told to show up bright and early on Monday. I should be there at 7:30 a.m. and then it will take off from there. What I didn’t tell you is that I might need two operations! According to the surgeon, two hours wouldn’t give them enough time to do everything they need to do and it looked like another operation would be necessary to finish the job.
I AM GOING TO DIE!
That’s exactly what I told her and she laughed. “No, you are not going to die,” those were her words.
Am I feeling better with this pre-op talk? What do you think?!!! The thing is I have no choice, I’ve signed the papers and it’s a GO on Monday. God, help me!
Voice of Hope
This one is beautiful and it is for everyone walking through the fire so to speak. I can’t do this alone, be my strength Lord.
The Strength Within
“Sometimes, the strength within you is not a fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly ‘You got this, keep going.”
Less than three weeks to go before I give up control of my body to a surgeon and hope that he is competent enough and will do a great job. Some days I am alright meaning calm and collected but on other days, like today, I am climbing walls!
My first thought when I learned about what needed to be done was, “I can’t do this!” Then it dawned on me that I was alone and even though being “alone” was and has been great but not when you don’t know the outcome and having help by your side would be a great thing to have at a time like this. Do I want my ex back? That’s a big NO! However, support of some kind would be great when you’re feeling unusually small and helpless!
I took time to mull things over. The fear wanted to take over and I almost drowned in it. Then I found that tiny spark within that said, “You are not alone. You’ve got this!” Courage came riding in on a white horse and I started looking around at what was available for a person in my situation. My Chilean friend said, “I’m here for you. I’ll drive you to both your appointments and I will drive you back home after your hospital stay.” Things started looking up. I looked some more and I got more offers of help. Friends showed up, real friends, and they offered help after the operation especially during the recuperation period.
What about Chachi? My precious little guy, what do I do about him? He has never been alone. I looked for cat sitters and there were plenty but I wanted people who were trained to do the job and to do it well. Lots of students offered to cat sit but I wasn’t too sure. Then I found one place that ticked all the right boxes. They were going to cost more than the others but I signed the contract. Someone will come in twice a day, feed him, make sure he has fresh water, food, clean the litterbox, and play with him for half an hour if he wants it. I’ve got them booked for a week because bending over will be a problem after the operation and carrying heavy stuff as well. Going up and down the stairs? I was told to keep it to a bare minimum so most of my time will be spent in the downstairs living room for the first week or so. I love my bedroom which is upstairs so I’m not looking forward to change. Workouts are out as well. Walking is allowed and recommended but 5 to 10 minutes a day for the first week. This will be hard as well. I workout 7 days a week so I can’t see myself doing that but I have no choice in the matter.
What do I do about help when I come back home? That was weighing heavy on my mind. I won’t be allowed to drive and it will be bedrest, maybe painkillers ( I hope not!), and taking it easy and hoping the wound heals. I looked around for help and I found this lady. We met and talked and she offered all the help I needed. Cleaning, taking care of Chachi, shopping, driving me to the doctor and driving me back if I needed it. I couldn’t believe it but wait there is more.
The heavens opened up and an “angel” walked in when she told me that she worked at the same hospital as a nursing aide where I would have my procedure done! My eyes opened wide when she said, “I’ll come check on you after the operation. You’ll be in good hands.” I couldn’t believe it!
“I can also help you with all your needs and I will talk to the nurses there to keep an extra eye on you! Don’t worry, I’m there for you.”
Hallelujah?!! Her wings were missing but who knows, she probably had them neatly tucked away. She walked in here this morning, cleaned up the place, took the trash away, AND we had a talk. She told me that she has a week off during the week of my operation but plans to stay home.
“Don’t worry, I plan to come visit everyday and I AM THERE FOR YOU!”
Did I get lucky or is this just too good to be true? Perhaps, luck has nothing to do with it. Angels walk among us and I truly believe that. So, have my worries subsided just a little? NOPE. I am a worrywart and I will find something else to worry about! There is this other thing. I think I’m going to die because I have had these weird feelings and premonitions that point to it. Can someone help with that? AI says it is normal to have such thoughts especially with a big operation coming up. I don’t know folks, I’ve been preparing for the worst but who knows.
My point is this, don’t give up hope. Don’t succumb to your fears and there is always a way out. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
“One day you will understand that you had the strength within you from the very beginning. Keep going.” Unknown
Now, I hope that the “angel” doesn’t disappear as the time for the operation gets closer!
A Good Question
What will they do if they ever ran out of fear?
The Light Within (Archives)
“If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light.” Rumi
Sometimes it burns brightly and at other times it flickers and there are times when it is extinguished and there is only darkness to be found. Finding your way becomes hard as darkness spreads its wings and envelops everything in its wake but that light within can be relit again. It is there and waiting for you to light it again.
“No degree of worldly darkness can extinguish the glow of a soul’s inner light.” Wes Fesler
You, my friend, are a powerful being. You have everything within you to make it through that “worldly darkness.” Did you lose someone close and your light is dimmed? Did someone walk away leaving you to find your way again? Do you feel like you don’t belong? Did someone put you down and made you feel smaller than you are? Did all these things make you feel like you are not enough? If so, reach for that light within. It is powerful and it takes more than a careless word or two, a breakup or ugliness to put out the light. Even if you take a temporary leave of absence, it waits patiently till you come back ready to burn brightly again.
“Let your light shine so brightly that others can see their way out of the dark.” Katrina Mayer
How do you get the light within to burn brightly?
It has been said through, “meditation, mindfulness, self-reflection, and acts of kindness towards oneself and others.” Practicing kindness and compassion towards others is one surefire way to light that light within and to keep it burning brightly. I give out smiles and it is a daily practice I engage in. Whenever I meet a stranger and our eyes meet, that “high-voltage” smile turns on! It has brought some unwanted attention but that aside, a smile or two comes back accompanied by this warm and fuzzy feeling and I’m ready to embrace a stranger!
“Kindness is igniting a light in someone else for no reason other than to watch them enjoy the glow.” Raktivisit.
So, my friend, be that light. It is within you and waiting to show you the way.
Did you know that, “Within your being is a source of light…..with unlimited wattage.” Put it to good use. You are powerful, you are magical, you are capable, you are beautiful and you are ENOUGH as you are. Turn on that light and step into its brightness and watch your life transform….
Have an amazing day.
Morgan Harper Nichols
Morgan Harper Nichols was born in Hamilton, New Zealand. She is an American Christian musician, songwriter and poet. Her quotes, however, are poignant and it is about finding beauty in the ordinary, embracing imperfection and growth tinged with resilience and hope. Here is a sampling of her brilliant work. Her words speak to the heart and has the ability to light up your day. Enjoy.
“and perhaps what made her beautiful was not her appearance or what she achieved, but in her love and in her courage, and her audacity to believe: no matter the darkness around her, light ran wild within her, and that was the way she came alive, and it showed up in everything.”
“And if everything does not fall into place at the same time and pace, that does not mean that the years you’ve waited have somehow been a waste. Keep planting, sowing, living, and knowing that beautiful things take time, and that’s okay.”
“Take photographs of everything. You never know how long these moments will be here. Things are going to change.”
“Even in the moments when you feel directionless, you can still find the courage to take another step.”
“Words matter so speak kind words to yourself.”
“Perhaps, even here, I am growing. When the days are long, and I do not feel as strong, and when the hours go by slower than they ever have before, and the sun is shining, and I am lost indoor, perhaps even here, I am growing.”
“Never let anyone who cannot bear your pain make you feel you are unbearable.”
“Tell the story of the mountains you’ve climbed. Your words could become a part of someone else’s survival guide.”
AND
“When you start to feel like things should have been better this year, remember the mountain and valleys that got you here.”
Have an amazing day.
The Light Within
“If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light.” Rumi
Sometimes it burns brightly and at other times it flickers and there are times when it is extinguished and there is only darkness to be found. Finding your way becomes hard as darkness spreads its wings and envelops everything in its wake but that light within can be relit again. It is there and waiting for you to light that light again.
“No degree of worldly darkness can extinguish the glow of a soul’s inner light.” Wes Fesler
You, my friend, are a powerful being. You have everything within you to make it through that “worldly darkness.” Did you lose someone close and your light is dimmed? Did someone walk away leaving you to find your way again? Do you feel like you don’t belong? Did someone put you down and make you feel smaller than you are? Did all these things make you feel like you are not enough? If so, reach for that light within. It is powerful and it takes more than a careless word or two, a breakup or ugliness to put out the light. Even if you take a temporary leave of absence, it waits patiently till you come back ready to burn brightly again.
“Let your light shine so brightly that others can see their way out of the dark.” Katrina Mayer
How do you get the light within to burn brightly?
It has been said through, “meditation, mindfulness, self-reflection, and acts of kindness towards oneself and others.” Practicing kindness and compassion towards others is one surefire way to light that light within and to keep it burning brightly. I give out smiles and it is a daily practice I engage in. Whenever I meet a stranger and our eyes meet, that “high-voltage” smile turns on! It has brought some unwanted attention but that aside, a smile or two comes back accompanied by this warm and fuzzy feeling and I’m ready to embrace a stranger!
“Kindness is igniting a light in someone else for no reason other than to watch them enjoy the glow.” Raktivisit.
So, my friend, be that light. It is within you and waiting to show you the way.
Did you know that, “Within your being is a source of light…..with unlimited wattage.” Put it to good use. You are powerful, you are magical, you are capable, you are beautiful and you are ENOUGH as you are. Turn on that light and step into its brightness and watch your life transform….
Have an amazing day.
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