letsgetitoutfront

The Convicted Felon vs. The President

The battle of the Titans, it was not! To be brutally honest, it was two old men trying to prove who is the better candidate to hold the highest office in the land. One is currently holding office and the other, the convicted felon, wants the office back or rather the power and all it entails back in his clutches to do with as he pleases.

Who came out the winner? This was a hard one because the man who is known for throwing temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way, walked on stage to do battle. He was poised, tanned (not orange this time), his hair tacked with some unseen material so that nothing was out of place and with the cat who had swallowed the cream smile plastered on his face, he opened his mouth and nothing had changed. The “all about me” attitude hadn’t changed and according to him, he was and is the only one who is capable of rescuing America from the terrorists, the only one who has the power to do something about border control and the only one America can depend on to make it the most powerful nation in the world. Sounds familiar? This is Trump over and over again. Make America Great Again means I will jump over hurdles and run hoops to be your one and only saviour!

Here’s the scary part. The man who applauded the Nazis as very fine people and the one who slept with a porn star, albeit he claims he didn’t but that is besides the point. Let’s not forget he is a convicted felon and the ONE who pushed and got the so-called “patroits” to storm the capitol, he was and is nothing more than a whole lot of hot air, not to mention a dangerous man when he is crossed. He is also the friend of dictators and a wanna be dictator himself. Trump is a liar, doesn’t get his facts right and he is known for misusing information to his advantage. If he gets control of the White House and uses it as his bully pulpit, Lord help us all.

Biden, on the other hand, was right when he said, “I’m looking at a convicted felon standing next to me.” Nothing more, nothing less. What’s a convicted felon doing vying for a chance at running the highest office in the land? The answer is clear and simple. There is nothing in the US Constitution to prevent a convicted felon from occupying the Oval Office if fairly elected. Time they changed that don’t you think? Moving on, Biden came on stage looking pale, unsteady on his feet and at times he seemed to lose his train of thought. His speech impediment made it seem more so. Nature is not kind as far as age is concerned, it slows your gait, you need time to think and standing on stage for over 1 1/2 hours is not easy either. In spite of all that, Biden did deliver some punches when it was necessary and it found its mark. He called Trump a liar, which he is. He called him an abuser of women and there is no doubt about that. He called him delusional, nothing further from the truth and a man of low integrity, well that is the honest truth.

The kid pretending to be a grown-up was easy to figure out. The vindictiveness was well-hidden but it was there hiding just beneath the surface. The cat has been let out of the bag a long time ago and his record as a vindictive and narcissistic individual has been proven. You don’t need a debate to show who is a better candidate. The record speaks for itself.

If I had to choose between a convicted felon and a man who stutters because he has a speech impediment, I know hands-down who I would choose. It’s not about how much hot air one can spew into the air and pull the wool over everyone’s eyes. It is about integrity, honesty and a clear-headed approach to issues which demand presidential acumen and not a private and personal vendetta. Words such as pale as death, disastrous, agonizing and much worse have been used to describe Biden’s debate performance but if you ask me that is nothing compared to the bully and the felon standing on stage pretending to be an outstanding citizen and one who is appropriate to take the helms of the highest office in the land. He is a walking nightmare and much much more!

My money is on Biden!

Mean People

Why are some people mean? What is it about them that makes them that way? By mean people, I mean those who love to kick you when you’re down, know your weaknesses and take advantage of them, take pleasure from your pain and say and do whatever is necessary to stop you from making your way out of the hole you’re in. Instead of giving you a helping hand, they would rather push you back in and walk away with a click of their heels, a clap of their hands and say, “Job well done!”

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it is with themselves.” Unknown

Are they born that way or is it something about them that makes them the way they are?

According to http://www.psychology.com, “Being mean is a product of insecure self-esteem. Research shows that being insulted makes people more likely to demean others. Freud argued that people cope with negative views of themselves by perceiving other people as having those same traits.”

At first glance, they seem ordinary enough even to the point of being nice but all that dissipates into thin air as time goes on and the relationship progresses. If it’s a friendship, you will see the mask slipping and whoever is hiding behind that mask steps out and you realize that you’ve made a big mistake. The mean streak within takes aim and nothing you do is ever right. Stomping on you is the name of the game and taking knocks at your self-esteem through harsh words or actions is their way of bringing you down to their level. One minute you can do nothing wrong and the next you’re dealing with an enemy. It’s not you, it’s them.

“The good thing about mean people is that you can walk away from them but they are stuck with themselves. I call that karma.” Unknown

Furthermore, their daily existence is dependent on bringing others down which in turn makes them feel better about themselves. You may sense that there is something wrong if there is constant conflict about the smallest of things. The way you act around others becomes a big issue and so does the way you smile, laugh and anything they can pick on they will. Making a mountain out of a molehill is a constant and when the storm passes, you’ll be left wondering and asking, “What just happened?” Nothing. It’s not you, it’s them.

Being mean is a choice and according to http://www.linkedin.com, “We are ALL human and don’t always get it right-no one is perfect and we all behave at less than our best at times. But for the most part, it is a premeditated and selective CHOICE on how we treat others.”

What triggers the meanness? I don’t think it is one particular thing. It could be envy, jealousy, wanting what they can’t have or a whole host of negative internal contributors. No one knows for sure but if you’ve had the unfortunate experience of coming in contact with one or more of these types of people, you know what I’m talking about. It is unpleasant to say the least and it will leave you questioning your own integrity and wondering if you somehow contributed to the unholy rage happening in front of you. It’s not you, it’s them.

Lao Tzu says, “Respond Intelligently even to Unintelligent Treatment.”

Ignore them, walk away, stop all contact, these are some of your options. Rudeness, screaming and shouting doesn’t help because it gives them the ammunition to fire back and that is precisely what they want, an avenue to get back at you. It is all about being mean so turn your back, shutting the door firmly behind you.

If all that doesn’t work, do this instead.

“Don’t let Negative and Toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.” Zig Ziglar

Nicely put Ziggy, the only problem is if you’re like me, I’ll be wondering if they’ve got a new place to go to!!!

Buddha says, “Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.”

Whatever you choose to do, shut the door and move forward. You’ve got places to go and “nice people” to meet.

The Conviction

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Former president, Donald J. Trump received the verdict on Thursday. The 34-count-guilty verdict was handed down by a Manhattan jury and to say it landed and exploded like a bomb would be an understatement.

It was a historical moment because no other former president has ever been convicted of a crime before and if nothing else, Mr. Trump will go down in the annals of history as having achieved that notorious honor.

On Friday, the less than defeated former president had recouped and was back to ranting, his favorite pastime. He lashed out at Juan Merchan, the judge overseeing the case and likened him to a “devil” and called the prosecution’s star witness, Michael Cohen, a “sleaze bag.” Oh well, it’s like the pot calling the kettle black, if you know what I mean. He went on to say, “November 5 is the most important day in the history of the country,” and the election would deliver “the real verdict.”

If a cat has nine lives, this wounded and albeit rabid one has more and that is the scary part. He’s looking for revenge and regaining the White House as his bully pulpit to vent, rage and to use it to his advantage would be his ultimate goal. It’s not about the “people” folks, it’s about one vengeful person and come hell or high water he wants it, like a spoiled brat who wants it his way at any cost.

July 11th has been set as the sentencing date and it falls four days before Republicans gather in Milwaukee to officially nominate Trump at their national convention. It should have been a happy event but now it will take place under a cloud, a cloud of uncertainty. Trump was charged with 34 counts of falsification of business records in the first degree and under New York law, falsification of business records is a crime when the records are altered with an intend to defraud. Each count carries a maximum sentence of four years in prison and a $5,000 fine.

“How say you to the first count of the indictment, charging Donald J. Trump with the crime of falsifying business records in the first degree, guilty or not guilty?” the clerk asked.

“Guilty.” And so it went on as Trump closed his eyes, pursed his lips and shook his head. It took just about three minutes and Donald J. Trump, the former president, was now a felon.

However, it’s not over folks. Not until the fat lady sings or in this case, the former president decides it’s over. You can bet your bottom dollar that will never happen. The man or rather the child who never grew up is brewing up a storm and it will show when the time is right. For now, it will be interesting to watch as the newly crowned “felon” shows up at his next campaign rally surrounded by uncertainty except for one thing. He is now a felon.

The Hard Things

Most of us cringe at the thought of doing the hard things. Be it a break-up, walking away, losing a job and letting go of things that no longer serve us, it is an exceptionally hard thing to do. It is not something we look forward to because it means taking the bull by the horns and waging war on what seems to be an impossible task at first. Given time, patience, perseverance and a hard-headed look at what needs to be done to get to the other side, we find it is doable but not easy.

Easy is not what life is about. If anything, easy is not in its vocabulary. It seems at times that “living” is about going through the hard stuff. Sometimes one and sometimes a string of unsolvable and often times impossible situations but you and I know that it is those hard times and how you deal with it that brings out the strength in you. Sure, it would be easier if we didn’t have to deal with them but when has that stopped life from throwing it our way?

Where would we be without them? Probably having a great time without having to walk through the minefield of the hard stuff all equipped and designed to bring you down to your knees if you make a false move. There is no right or wrong way of going about it, it is trial and error and an undying resilience to take what is handed to you and to make it work for you. We’ve all made those false moves where we’ve crashed and burned and just when you think there is nothing left to do except to pick up the pieces and make the most of it, there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. There is that open door that beckons because as you know when one door closes, another one opens but it is human nature or at least it is mine to look past it and back at the one that has closed and is no longer available.

“Hard things are hard because there are no easy answers or recipes. They are hard because your emotions are at odds with your logic. They are hard because you don’t know the answer and you cannot ask for help without showing weakness.” Ben Horowitz

The hard stuff has kept me captive for longer than I want to admit. Truth is, I don’t do “HARD” well. Holding on is my nemesis, letting go of things that no longer serve me is harder still and moving on, well that is an impossible task at times. I hold on hoping that changes will come my way but it never does. Things happen for a reason, people are the way they are because they are wired that way and looking and hoping is not going to change things. However, whatever life throws your way, there is a lesson in there somewhere but it is hard to see when it first hits you. I think we fail miserably at times because we walk in circles, bang our heads on that closed door and refuse to move on until we are drained of energy and there is nothing else to do but to walk through that open door. Human nature at its best? I think so.

We are fully capable and have the strength within to meet the hard stuff head on and to tame it if necessary. It is the fear of the unknown in sync with the weakness within that works hand-in-hand to stop us in our tracks, makes us tremble where we stand as we whisper, I can’t. You and I have had our baptism by fire in one form or another, of this I am sure. The hard thing is just one more obstacle to overcome, nothing more, nothing less. We tend to make it more than what it is. Life is a never-ending circle of challenges in the form of “hard things” to overcome. It is mixed in with the good stuff but it is the hard stuff that brings forth the real you. Your strength, your power and most of all your ability to slay it where it stands takes courage, growth and an attitude of never giving up which will put the “hard stuff” in its place. Who knows if shown the door more often than not, it might decide to stay away. We can hope can’t we?

“I see your fear, and it’s big. I also see your courage, and it’s bigger. We can do hard things.” Glennon Doyle

Have an amazing day.

Limiting Beliefs

“The only limits that exist are the ones in your own mind.” Unknown

A limiting belief is defined as,”a state of mind or belief about yourself that restricts you in some way. And these beliefs are often false accusations you make about yourself that can cause many negative results. Essentially, they are the lies you tell yourself, and if you allow them to continue, they define you.” http://www.linkedin.com

We all have them and we use them to define who we are as a person and what we are capable of achieving. Most of these beliefs carry negative connotations and they are designed to keep us from moving ahead in life. Here are some of them.

I am not good enough! This one is very familiar at least to yours truly. Quite often, I use this as my mantra to keep me in my rabbit hole. I venture out to take a peek and then I rush back into the hole where I am most comfortable. If I could, I would stay there forever but than again even rabbits come out to play from time to time and to observe life as it passes by. Partake or not, that is up to you. What does, “I’m not good enough,” really mean? It is a mindset that is well-ingrained into your psyche and once it has taken hold, it is next to impossible to get rid off. Perhaps changing the negative to the positive might help. I AM GOOD ENOUGH! Say that often enough and it might just give that not so friendly sod, a heave and a ho and send it packing.

“Limiting Beliefs have one goal…..to keep you from leaving your Comfort Cave so you can’t grow and reach your greatest potential.” Unknown

I don’t have enough time…..this is another crippling lie and it is not true. If you look at the amount of time we waste propped up in front of the TV or sitting hunched over our lap top doing nothing much except to let these two gadgets dictate how we spend our time and nothing more. Truth is, you and I know that we have the time to do better things. We just need to do less of one and more of the things that contribute to our lives and crush those limiting beliefs that keep us from achieving our goals.

The next lie is one that loves to keep you in your place. If only I was taller, prettier, skinnier…..the list goes on and you get the drift. This one is designed to shrink you to 1/2 or a 1/4 of the size you actually are. Each time you repeat and accept this mantra in your head, you see this short, fat and ugly person staring back at you. It is not the reality but one you’ve chosen to accept as your reality. You, no matter what your size, height, weight or looks have just as much to offer this world than the other person. Pat yourself on the back and go conquer the world! I heard a saying once that goes like this. “Walk in like God sent you!”A good one to hold close to your chest and to pull out at those moments when you feel lacking or feeling smaller than you actually are.

Limiting beliefs need constant work. They are not easy to overcome but with time, effort and a conscious effort to defeat them, you’ll find yourself on the other side of the fence, the one that is more positive and forgiving but if nothing helps than perhaps this will.

“Do the uncomfortable. Become comfortable with these acts. Prove to yourself that your limiting beliefs die a quick death if you will simply do what you feel uncomfortable doing.” Darren Rowse

Simplify

A few weeks ago, I wrote about cleaning out my shoe closet, bagging up and getting rid of tons, yes tons of shoes that were taking up space. They were no longer needed because all they were doing was simply staring me in the face and living rent-free in my closet. It was time for them to go. Decision made but it was with a heavy heart that I gave them their freedom. They were free to go light up someone else’s eyes and perhaps more appropriately to go where they were truly needed.

“Fill your life with lots of experiences, not lots of things. Have incredible stories to tell, not incredible clutter in your closets.” Marc and Angel

I think life is simply an accumulation of holding on to things. It is a collection of things taking up space, emotions that surge and thrive on shaky ground and a constant struggle between the two. Clutter helps to shrink your physical space and minimize your mental capabilities. Letting go is hard and for someone like me who holds on for way longer than it is needed, decluttering is an almost impossible task to do.

“Clutter is not just the stuff on your floor – it’s anything that stands between you and the life you want to be living.” Peter Walsh

The problem is you can’t move on when you’re holding on to all that is not needed. There must be a conscious decision and effort to “clean house” meaning letting go of things that no longer serve you. Things and emotions that wear you down, make you lose track of where you need to go, which direction you will have to take to get there and most importantly a decision has to be made to let go, get rid off and open up space maybe for new clutter but the truth is there is no moving forward if you’re standing still. You can’t do both.

“Simplifying your life isn’t just about decluttering your physical space, it’s also about clearing mental and emotional clutter.” Unknown

Understanding that, you’ve got to declutter. Most of us tend to have an iron grip on things that don’t matter and then we wonder why it is so hard to breathe at times or to feel free. If it is not adding value to your life, let it go. If it is just taking up space, dump it. If it makes you feel like you’ve got to do something about it, that’s a clear signal that action is needed.

Focus, declutter, simplify, simplify, simplify. As for people and emotions,

“If your presence can’t add value to my LIFE, your absence will make no difference.” Unknown

Pet Peeves

I have them and I’m sure you have them too. A pet peeve is defined as, “something that a particular person finds especially annoying,” and or is a thing that bugs you every time.

Everybody has one or several pet peeves. Let’s look at some of them.

“I have some road rage inside of me. Traffic, especially in LA., is a pet peeve of mine.” Kathie Holmes

“I don’t have pet peeves like some people. I have whole kennels of irritation.” Whoopi Goldberg

“My biggest pet peeve is inconsiderate people.” Trista Sutter

It is most definitely mine too!

“My pet peeve is hearing a knock on the bathroom door followed by the familiar words, “What are you doing in there?” Karen Scalf Linamen

Just some pet peeves that people find highly annoying. Sometimes that annoying thing we do makes people want to grit their teeth and pull their hair out but the problem is it goes totally unnoticed by the person doing it. They’ve grown accustomed to the annoying things they do that it is a daily way of existence for them and that in itself is the problem. Pet peeves to some may not be the same to others at the other end of the spectrum.

What are some of my pet peeves? I have spent some time thinking about this. Why? Who knows why. I think about things all the time. Perhaps, it’s because I’m a thinker. Anyway, here goes.

The Liar —can’t stand them and can’t tolerate them. They exist in droves and some have made it their life’s work to get away with lies. Let’s see how many lies I can get away with is their mantra. Telling lies is a way of life and the adrenaline rush that follows is what they live for. I am pretty good at spotting lies and liars but it still bugs me to no end.

Tardiness –someone who always shows up late and keeps you waiting for them. I tend to attract these types. Why? No idea, it could be that I’m punctual to a fault and rubbing me up the wrong way is the name of the game. I have a friend who is the complete opposite and she has a big sign plastered on her forehead which says, “Tardy and loving it!” Just kidding but she does make me grit my teeth because meeting up is never fun when she makes it a point to show up 15 to 20 minutes late and the last time, it was 45 minutes! Get rid of her? Believe me, I’ve given it much thought but learning that not everyone is like me. Give it some time, I say.

The Busy Body – Experts say, “what drives someone to become a busybody is an avoidance of their own issues, found deep within their inner psychology. And it doesn’t matter if they’re pointing out something small, like the dog droppings or something bigger. The busybody can really drive you to drink, or point out the drink.” There you have it, an experts viewpoint and I totally agree. Ever had someone poking their nose into everything you do? I have and it is more than annoying. At times I want to scream, “Get a life will you!” More often than not, the friendship fizzles out because dealing with such a person is not only annoying but very very stressful. Or it could be that I’m a Scorpio and we have an aversion to busy bodies. It is supposed to be one of our pet peeves according to the following quote.

“When people can’t mind their own business and always concerned with what you’re doing.” Unknown

There you have it. Three of my pet peeves but I’m sure if I dug deep enough, I can come up with more but it’s Sunday and I’m turning off the switch, the thinking switch that is. Going blank for the rest of the day. Good luck you say, I know what you mean.

Have a great Sunday.

Yesterday Matters

Someone said to me that “yesterday” is not important and what took place there is a part of history never to be repeated again. It is done and dusted and holding on to the pain and memories is just a waste of time and rehashing yesterday over and over again is a mental disaster and needs to be stopped.

I do not fully agree with him. I do agree that yesterday and what happened there is a part of history. It happened, whatever it was, but to recover from the trauma of yesterday, if it was bad, needs time, patience and picking over to gather the good things, sift over the not so important aspects and the last part, learning how not to repeat those mistakes again and to move on with life. It also means learning to let go might take time and it is different with every individual. Some people may be able to let go easily and move on and for others, it might take weeks, months or even years to let go of yesterday. There is no specified time limit, take as long as you need. Yesterday is a learning curve and if used wisely, it helps to make your todays and tomorrows better.

However, it is a big deal because we tend to base our future actions based on our past. Yesterday also helps to define you as a person and in order to create something new, you almost always rely on elements of the past to show and shape what you choose to do or stay away from to create that new reality.

I rely on yesterday to show me the path forward. A conundrum? Actually, I feel and know that yesterday matters. It helps to give voice to my experiences, memories and most importantly the lessons learned. It not only helps to influence who I am as a person today but it most definitely helps to guide my decisions for tomorrow. Yesterday wasn’t always good to me as it is for most of us, there was the good, the bad and the ugly and there are parts that I would definitely want to keep under lock and key and make sure it never sees the light of day again. However, all of it is needed to shape my future and to learn how not to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

I am stronger today because of yesterday. There is a clearer picture of who I am, what I want out of life, who I want to be with and perhaps the most important lesson I have learned from yesterday is what I will stand for and what I won’t. I’ve garnered that strength and knowing from dabbling in my past and from salvaging the good bits. Yesterday is important, it teaches if you’re willing to listen and learn and it matters for a better tomorrow. However, as with everything else in life, give it the balance it deserves but don’t hang on to it as your life line or as if “yesterday” is the only thing that matters.

David Brier explains it this way.

Yesterday is an idea that too many use as a crutch.

Or worse, as an excuse.

Yesterday isn’t here. You can look in the mirror. You won’t see it.

You can grab yesterday and put it on a scale, and you’ll find it weighs nothing.

You grab an empty box, fill it with yesterday and give it to a friend and you’ll find when they open it, it’s empty.

Because yesterday is simply an idea.

Some even use yesterday as “the reason they are XYZ” today.

Yesterday isn’t that powerful that it determines who or what you are today.

YOU have that power.

Unless you give the reigns to an idea. An idea like yesterday matters.

I agree that it is an idea but it is so much more than that isn’t it? It gives shape to your life if used wisely and as a teacher it teaches how to better navigate your life and to make more informed decisions about the future. Therefore, yesterday matters and it is more than an idea in that sense.

The Reason

Life has a tendency to throw curveballs when you least expect it. Just when you think all is going well, there you are asking why did it happen? It could be a break-up, the passing of a loved one or simply because something didn’t go the way you thought it would. Then the question WHY arises as it always does in moments such as these and we scramble to look for the answers.

“Always remember that everything happens for a reason. It might not make sense now but at the right time it will.” Unknown

Does it matter as to the reason why? Some may say, of course it does. I NEED a reason why. Others may say, it happened. I am going to learn from my mistakes, accept it for what it is and move on from here. I am going to take the lessons I have learned and put it to good use in the future. Moving on is a hard thing to do and not knowing makes it harder still.

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” Unknown

I am learning that the reasons why don’t matter. It is what comes out of it that does. I lost someone close to me about two years ago. He was my best friend. I kept asking the question why after it happened? Why did he have to leave so soon? I wanted and needed to know the reasons why. It was as if my existence depended on the answers coming back to me. There were no answers forthcoming. Just an absolute and eerie silence. The reality was I could no longer run to him in my time of need, hear his soothing voice try to walk me out of the rabbit hole I was in and I just missed having him there to share my daily existence with him. The truth was, I had to deal with things on my own. I felt fear without my safety net there. It was sink or swim time. I felt the net being pulled away and as I was careening back down to earth, I learned that nothing lasts forever. I also learned as I kicked and screamed all the way down that I am enough as I am. I am fully capable of dealing with what life throws my way and I am learning to step out of my comfort zone albeit slowly and moving with little steps forward.

“I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so that you will eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” Marilyn Monroe

Sometimes the reason why is not ours to know but what you do with what is handed to you, good or bad, is. I think all of us are fully equipped or rather we are fully programmed to deal with whatever life throws our way. The way ahead maybe strewn with rocks as big as boulders so passing throw them might seem like an impossible task at first but if you have the courage to push through, you will find your way to the other side and the truth is most times you’ll have to do it without asking why?

“Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, be strong & keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.” John Mayer

Mind Games (Archives)

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Harper’s Bazaar defines it as, “signs of manipulation and deception. It hurts people’s feelings and gives them trust issues.” According to them, these are major red flags and it has no place in a healthy, happy relationship.

True and you deserve a happy, and healthy relationship. However, many play mind games just for the hell of it because it makes them feel good or just for some sick pleasure. Others have made it part and parcel of their dating existence. How do you spot this wolf in sheep’s clothing? Not easy because they disguise themselves as one of the good guys. They look and come across as harmless but in actuality, they have the potential to hurt you badly through their manipulative tactics.

Here are the tell-tale signs. Actually there are 9 of them according to geediting.com but I think there are more of them.

Inconsistent behavior……this one is like dealing with Jekyll and Hyde. He’s the nice guy one minute and the next you’ll be wondering what changed. It’s NOT YOU! It’s HIM!

Gaslighting..…a technique used to question your own reality, experiences, or perceptions. If you’re constantly doubting or questioning yourself, you might just be a victim of gaslighting.

They never apologize…..this is one significant part of someone playing mind games. Be aware. Instead of apologizing, they deflect blame onto others.

They make you feel guilty….this is one of the tools master manipulators use to shift power in their favor.

They’re hot and cold…..this tactic is known as “love bombing.” This technique will leave you confused and unsure of where you stand and that’s exactly where they want you.

They make you question your worth…..this is a clear sign that someone is playing mind games. It is used to erode your self-esteem making you dependent on them for validation. It’s a form of control.

They withhold affection as punishment….one minute everything’s great and the next they’re not talking to you. It’s a manipulative technique to gain control and hold the upper hand in the relationship. A harsh method used to get whatever they want.

They make you feel like everything’s your fault….even when it isn’t. You’re the bad person and they come out smelling like a rose. Reassess and move on.

They use your insecurities against you….they know your vulnerabilities and they exploit it to gain power and control.

I’ll add silent treatment to the list above. Master manipulators are pros when it comes to using silent treatment to their advantage. It is used as a form of punishment to make you feel unimportant and anxious so that you scramble to make THEM feel important again which means doing anything they want.

“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.” Unknown

Mind games have no place in a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship deserves respect, love, caring AND your well-being matters. If you find yourself going through one of the 9 items listed above over and over again, it’s time to leave the loser behind to his own wiles and move on to someone who will meet you on equal terms and treat you as an equal as well. They’re out there, you just have to weed through the losers to get there but anything is better than a master manipulator.

“Mind games do not make me believe you are mysterious or interesting. Mind games do make me believe you are a waste of my time and energy!” Unknown

AND

“Let’s play kind games instead of mind games.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.