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This Thing Called Love (3)

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We know that love is elusive. We also know that it morphs and changes shape and just when you think you’ve found the one and only, it goes and shows you something different.

If you’ve got both feet firmly planted in the dating scene, you’re bound to meet one of the following types who give love a bad name sooner than later.

The Egoist

This guy is full of himself. Good looks are his calling card and he thinks the world revolves around him or rather he has women swooning at his feet. Well, the truth is they are at his beck and call because in a world where looks matter, he’s all the rage. However, peel away the outer layer and you’ll find more often than not that he’s sorely lacking in a couple of very important aspects. Sometimes looks disguise what is not there. If you’re a smart woman, it takes but a couple of dates to find out that the man of your dreams has an empty shell. If you’re looking for intelligent conversation and looking to hang on to his every word, THIS GUY IS NOT IT! Move on.

Mr. Trigger-Happy

This type may seem to have it all at first glance but that is where it ends. Give him a little time and some rope and he’ll gladly hang himself! All it takes with this dude to show his true self is to have a normal conversation, well what others might call normal but with this guy it’s like playing the Russian roulette. You’ll never know what rubbed him up the wrong way because everything does! He’s just waiting to unload all the years of repressed anger he’s held back and BOOM he’s off and running. Mostly not in your direction because he’s looking for someone to blame for all his problems. Love is the last thing on his mind. RUN and don’t look back!

The Conundrum

This guy is a headache and a half. He walks in like a hurricane, falls like a ton of bricks and is talking the “M” word before the first date is over! You’ll be wondering what hit you! Certainly not love but a corrupted form of something else. He’ll look into your eyes and ask, “Why don’t I see sparkles in them?” Or he’ll want to stick to you like glue and you can only take a breath until he does! If you’re looking for the nice, easy, relaxing type of love, it’s not with him. It’ll only get worse so move on and keep on walking and don’t look back!

Mr. Past & Present

Okay, this is one to watch out for. He has one foot firmly planted in the past. I mean it is cemented to the past. However, he is looking to connect with someone in the present. You’ll find he is either hung up on his dead wife, a past love or just about anything in the PAST as an excuse as to why he can’t fall in love again but if it comes to doing everything else he is willing and ready. Bring up the “M” word and he’s off and running. Scary? It is. Tread carefully because his true self doesn’t show up until you’re fully in and just when you think things are going great and there’s a future, he’ll pull the rug from under your feet. You’ll be left asking, what happened? It’s not you, it’s him. Move with caution or better still RUN!

This thing called love is impossible at times and at other times, it takes a lot of work to land what you’re looking for. Unfortunately, you’ll have to fall a few times, pick yourself back up, kiss more than a few frogs, dance the Tango with those I mentioned above, and when the clock strikes 12, be thankful that you survived to live another day.

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford

With that in mind, proceed with caution and always with your eyes wide open and tell your heart to sit this one out until you’ve got it down pat. Getting it down to a science is next to impossible but arming yourself with the knowledge to outplay some of the no good types out there is a must!

Have an amazing day.

Eradicate Racism!

My posts and articles showcase many things but my core focus is social injustice with special emphasis on racism. Racism is a “pandemic” and it should be treated as such. It is not a small thing as some make it out to be and neither is it harmless. It has the potential to destroy human dignity and it does exactly that on a daily basis.

I have a friend who once said, “You can’t change racism. It is here to stay.” Perhaps, he is right but that doesn’t mean that your voice must be silenced to accommodate what the majority thinks. I’ve spoken up where others have stayed silent, I have faced backlash and I march on hoping that one day things will change. My writing is my megaphone to get the message across.

A world free of racism is a wonderful place in my opinion. Each and every individual can have their say, go about life as equals and learn to get along with each other. We are still a long ways off from that ideal reality and if racism will ever take a backseat, that is still to be seen. However, my voice matters just as yours does.

What change would I like my blogs to make? Exactly that. Eradicate racism and let’s give every individual a chance at a decent life, one that is not based on appearance, skin color or religious beliefs for that matter.

Oh, what a wonderful world this would be….

Daily writing prompt

What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

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Mandy Hale Quotes

The lady speaks to struggles that women face, but more importantly she speaks to the heart of the matter. Her quotes reach deep and it also teaches us how to overcome adversity and to get to a better place in life. Here are some of her most beautiful and heartwarming quotes.

“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”

I’m my own person now and validation from a man or anyone for that matter is a thing of the past.

“Without standards you’ll settle for anything. Rise up and become what you hope to attract.”

This one is so important. Set your boundaries before you go out looking is the message.

“The most important day is the day you decide you’re good enough for you. It’s the day you set yourself free.”

Absolutely

“Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful without needing someone to tell you.”

I’m learning to do exactly that.

“If you carry the bricks from your last relationship, you’ll end up building the same house.”

Been there, done there and trying to rectify that.

“She’s a lot.

You’re right….I’m a lot. With a lot of layers, a lot of personality. A lot of dreams, a lot of ideas. A lot of strategies, a lot of emotions. A lot of love.

So yeah, I am a lot.”

“If you don’t see your own worth, you’ll always choose people who don’t see it either.”

Know that you’re more than good enough. This way if he shows you that you are not enough, you can show him the door right away!

“Realize that if a door closed, it’s because what was behind it wasn’t meant for you.”

Hard and painful to grasp but it is the truth.

“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.

You are allowed to outgrow people. This includes past versions of yourself.”

Absolutely.

This last one speaks to every woman who has struggled to find herself.

And I would find myself again. Not the same version of me that I was looking for, but a stronger version. A wiser version…A woman who had been tried in the fire but instead of being burned by it, came out gold.

A woman who finally after doubting and questioning and striving and hustling for her worth for years….came to the realization that she was and is and has always been…

ENOUGH

MORE THAN ENOUGH!

My Alternate Universe

I would go back and change everything! Starting with the night I met my two-timing ex! What started out as a chance meeting at a dance at the university and later morphed into something more was a big mistake. I would erase all of that.

How far would you go for love? It’s a question that is asked in certain circles and it’s a question many ponder over when in love with someone a continent away. Some are brave enough to throw caution to the winds because “love” is all that matters. It did at the time. I gave up everything and moved to Europe thinking I had “forever” in my pocket. It didn’t turn out that way.

There are many hurdles to cross when you move to a non-English speaking country. First, comes the meeting up with the culture and the customs at close range along with a feeling of being like a duck out of water all the time. In my case, I had to raise a child in an atmosphere of, “We know everything better!” Team it with a husband who was never there because he was on business trips all the time and you get the picture. I learned what unhappiness was and with a mother-in-law from hell in tow, my life became something else.

Here’s the thing. In my alternate universe, I would be in America and with someone else. Someone who has character and is noble enough to stand beside his wife which was sorely lacking in more ways than one.

My advice to someone contemplating a move to somewhere faraway, make sure you have a backup plan when it goes down south. Luckily, I was able to survive what came my way, and this is home now because my son feels more at home here and considers himself European as well.

If I get to do it all over again, my alternate universe would be a lot more different than what my reality is and peace would reign supreme!

Daily writing prompt

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

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The Staycation

I don’t do vacations anymore. Packing up and going somewhere only to unpack and do the “vacation thing” is for the birds but that’s how I feel.

I hate leaving what is comfortable and heading to places unknown. It is a thing of the past for me. This year, I decided to do it my way. I took a week off and decided to do a staycation the “recluse” way.

Walks in nature, getting up whenever and letting life take care of itself for a while was the plan. It started out well enough BUT on the first day, I woke up earlier than usual. Bah humbug! Tomorrow is another day, I told myself. I still had six more days to go.

At least, I had the facial appointment to look forward to. It went just fine and I came out glowing or rather a little oilier than expected. The cosmetician said it was a new method of getting your skin to look its optimal best. I was thinking, it should after all the different creams that were mixed and shot into my skin! “Don’t worry if it looks a little oily, it’ll calm down after a few days,” she said.

I nixed the breakfast alone at the cafe idea. I was looking like a pin cushion that had had more pins stuck in it than ever! My pores had been cleaned out, vacuumed out and smoothed out! Oh God! Exactly my thoughts. Anyway, this vacation thing did not start out with a bang but then again, it wasn’t supposed to. Let’s pick up the pace a little bit.

On Day 3, I decided to get myself out. I was supposed to meet a friend for coffee and breakfast and do some catching up. I showed up early and found a comfortable seat by the window. Sipping on a cup of coffee, I noticed the friend walk in. I smiled but it froze in place instantly. Next to him was a total stranger. He was about 6’2″ tall, slim with dark wavy hair, wore glasses which added to the distinguished look and a great smile to boot. It has been said that a recluse is someone who is anti-s0cial and loves doing things alone so “alone” time is good, once in a while meeting someone is good but adding to the equation is a NO! NO! Anyway, we got introduced and the conversation took off. Maybe, I was nervous or just P I S S E D, but the conversation was flowing non-stop. It was the same way with him and we were like two chickens cackling away! The fifth-wheel, my friend had a disgruntled look on his face but it was well-deserved for showing up with an unannounced stranger!

So, what happened? A future date perhaps? Nope, it doesn’t work that way with me. I’m a hard egg to crack. After two hours, I had had enough of socializing and got out of there fast. This vacation thing wasn’t working out the way I wanted it too.

Days 4, 5, & 6 were spent getting on Chachi, the cat’s nerves. I decided to do the cleaning bit and Little Einstein wanted to keep an eye on everything. He wore himself out. I took one walk in nature but the rest of the days were spent indoors because the rain had moved in and decided to keep me company.

Workouts, meditation, cheesecake and lots of coffee and tea kept my mood on an even keel. I don’t know about vacationing at home guys. It was okay but it is what I’m used to on a daily basis, nothing different. Still, I would rather do this than the other variety which involves packing, heading out, eating, eating, eating followed by lots of stress. What about Day 7? I was climbing walls by then and it was time to come back to reality.

I’ll take “staycation” anyday!

Most Money Ever Spent on a Meal

Here’s another question and nothing comes to mind! I don’t think I’ve ever spent a lot on a meal when I had to pay for it on my own. Mostly, it has been just simple meals and nothing much to speak of.

However, there was one time when I was invited out for dinner and the cost blew my mind. He was a Qantas Airways pilot, who lived in Australia but was used to flying in and out of Asia and he invited me out to dinner. I was thinking it would be a simple restaurant so nothing spectacular. I was wrong.

The restaurant was high up somewhere in the clouds, on the 70th floor, and a revolving one at that. We were met at the entrance by a Russian soldier dressed in medieval gear. He looked menacing. We had to wait at the bar to be seated. When we finally got our table, it had a beautiful view of the city and it was lit up like a Christmas tree. The scenery kept changing and that was more than interesting. First course, was a big plate of oysters on ice with black caviar and sliced boiled eggs. I had never had oysters or caviar before. The oysters looked unappetizing but he insisted I try one. I did and it was not to my liking.

They made a big display of opening the wine bottle and since I don’t drink, it was nothing for me either. Then the main course came. It was steak in a sumptuous sauce. I don’t recall what else came with it because the steak was melt in your mouth and blew everything else away. What came next? Dessert I think. but I’m not sure. Everything was perfect but nothing was lined with gold or anything like that to warrant what came next.

The bill was a whopping $350 dollars!

I think that was the most expensive meal I had ever been invited to and the fact that he thought I was worth it was mind-blowing as well.

Daily writing prompt

What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on a meal? Was it worth it?

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Beyond Evil! (Archives)

UPDATE:

Maxwell Anderson has been sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Robinson’s family spoke during the sentencing and called him a “demon” and suggested that “everything that he did should be done to him.” Justice in this case was served but it is never enough. The brutality of the crime and the fact that parts of her body have never been recovered speaks of the horror that Sade Robinson endured and the terror she must have felt.

There are some cases that make you sit up and take notice and this is one of them. The sheer brutality of the crime and the violence perpetuated on an innocent human being is beyond belief but there are monsters that walk the earth and here is one prime example.

Sade Robinson was 19, a criminal justice student and a beautiful girl enjoying being young and all that it entailed which included dating.

Maxwell Anderson was a 34-year-old bartender at the time with a lengthy criminal record which included domestic abuse, drunk driving, and disorderly conduct.

The two met and went on their first date on April 1, 2024. They first went to a restaurant, then to several bars, I lost count, and later to Anderson’s home. Video footage shows the young couple enjoying their time together and nothing seems out of the ordinary. However, in the early morning hours of April 2, 2024, her phone is located leaving Anderson’s home and traveling throughout Milwaukee County. Later that morning, her 2020 Honda Civic is found on fire and a male is seen exiting the vehicle before setting fire to it.

Around 5:30 p.m. the same day reports of someone finding a human leg belonging to a Black woman at Warnimont Park emerges. On April 4, 2024, Anderson is arrested and a search of his home reveals blood in one of the bedrooms and on the walls leading to the basement but it will later reveal that it didn’t belong to the victim. However, the true horror of the crime slowly unfolds. A human foot is found on April 6, 2024 in the city’s north side and it matches the leg found in Cudahy. Human flesh was also found in the area. Several body parts are found the following day. Robinson’s torso and arm are also discovered in another part of Milwaukee County but her head and neck have never been recovered.

The suspect is charged with first-degree intentional homicide, mutilating a corpse, hiding a corpse and arson in the death of Robinson. If found guilty, he faces life in prison. However, he has pleaded not guilty to all counts and is currently in jail on a $5 million bail.

The criminal trial began on May 27, 2025 and is currently underway. In a legal system, “a person accused of a crime is presumed innocent until the prosecution proves their guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.” It is hard not to jump the gun on this one because the evidence being presented is overwhelming and it points to one person and that is Maxwell Anderson as the sole perpetrator of this horrific crime. However, one other question arises. Was Anderson the sole perpetrator or were others involved in this horrific crime which resulted in the loss of life and in such a brutal fashion? Whatever happened that night, it was evil at work and there are no ifs ands or buts about it.

Monsters walk amongst us and sometimes they appear normal until they longer are.

Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Ad

Photo by Alina Matveycheva on Pexels.com

My platform has always been about bringing light to social injustices, racial inequalities, racism in all its ugly forms and anything else that is considered out of the ordinary and reeks of one thing or another. I’ve written articles on the shooting deaths of Black men by law enforcement to the plight of the Rohingyas and everything in between. Sometimes the atrocities are blatant and at other times, they are subtle and are aimed at disguising what is not evident at first glance.

The Sydney Sweeney jeans ad is about a pretty girl in a pair of jeans. Nothing spectacular and nothing else stands out unless you’re into jeans and what’s new out there. That’s just at first glance.

Take a closer look and something else emerges. The clothing company, American Eagle, faced its share of backlash when it was accused of promoting “eugenics,” by using wordplay on jeans/genes in the ad.

“Sydney Sweeney has good genes,” referencing Sweeney’s white, blonde and blue-eyed looks. Some have accused the brand of promoting, “eugenics,” and “Nazi propaganda.”

Eugenics is defined as a doctrine “adopted by the Nazis to justify their treatment of Jews, disabled people, and other minority groups.” It is a study on “how to arrange reproduction within a human population to increase the occurrence of heritable characteristics,” those deemed as sought after traits or of the blond and blue-eyed variety.

In the campaign, Sweeney posing in jeans is seen whispering:

“Genes are passed down from parents to offspring, often determining traits like hair color, personality and even eye color. My jeans are blue.”

The video has since been removed from American Eagle’s social media channels but the backlash continues. The ad comes in the wake of President Trump’s White House policies aimed at slashing diversity efforts in the federal government and the targeting of immigrants. Some say, the ad is reminiscent of the Calvin Klein campaign which starred a 15-year-old Brooke Shields posing provocatively and therefore, just “an overt sexualization of a minor,” and nothing more. The problem to this theory is that Sydney Sweeney is no longer a minor.

The company has issued a statement saying, “the campaign is and always was about the jeans. We’ll continue to celebrate how everyone wears their AE jeans with confidence, their way. Great jeans look good on everyone.”

Agreed. However, trying to promote a message beyond that of “just about the jeans,” and using wordplay to get the message across is something else altogether. In the current atmosphere of, “let’s do away with all that is different,” this ad is more than alarming. My take on this is, they should have known better!

Daily writing prompt

Scour the news for an entirely uninteresting story. Consider how it connects to your life. Write about that.

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My Happiness List

Wow! What a question! Not 10, not 20 but 30 things that make me happy. Once I get done with this, I will either be deliriously happy or feel like the air has been let out of my being!

I recall when I was a young girl, mom and dad had a ritual. Bible study was an everyday thing and it was painful for a girl who had her head in the clouds. We had to say what we were thankful for and each child had to come up with something. I hated it but there was no getting out of it. I would always make it as short as possible so that we would finish and I could watch cartoons on TV. However, one sister had a different plan. She would go on and on! It was a never-ending litany of things she was thankful for or happy about but I think she wanted to get in dad’s good graces and it worked! She was his favorite.

Anyway, here goes.

Chachi, the cat.

Morning coffee.

Birds chirping.

My quiet time.

Meditation

Deep Breathing

Beauty Rituals

A call from my son.

Conversations with friends.

Walks in nature.

My workouts.

The sky above.

My favorite TV shows.

Writing

Imagination

My house (my sanctuary)

The Dyson fan (a godsent on hot days!)

Rain!

Cheesecake

Banana Muffins

Friends

Family

Peace

Love

Freedom (to be who I am)

PJs ( I love hanging out in them)

My laptop

My Posts

Feeling Safe

Feeling like I can handle anything. (Basically taking lemons and making lemonade out of them!)

There! I’m feeling like I need another cup of coffee and a nap after this one! Just kidding.

Daily writing prompt

List 30 things that make you happy.

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A Sunday Like Any Other

I had made plans to be productive today. It didn’t matter if it was Sunday, a time for rest and relaxation. I was dead set on doing something and that something was to clean out my office area, get rid of the massive amounts of paperwork taking up space in every corner of the room and to discard as much of the unwanted stuff as possible. The plan was put in place last night.

Around 6 o’clock yesterday evening, I had this bright idea of bringing everything up to date and looking at what was staring back at me, I knew it would take all day Sunday to get it done. I looked at Chachi, the cat, and got to work. The poor guy didn’t know what was going on, just that changes were coming! He gave me one of his, “She’s at it again! No peace here and I’m at my wit’s end!” kind of look. He watched as I carried massive amounts of paperwork into the bedroom and set them on the floor. I made three huge piles. Then I moved the shredder into the bedroom as well. He gave me another look and inspected everything carefully. I could tell he wasn’t happy because he got jumpy. I stroked his forehead to assure him that all was well, nothing to worry about. Just his mom and her crazy ideas!

Then I got to work. I shredded some papers and then got tired of it. I just tore them apart and tossed them in a bag. The bag was getting full and I hadn’t even started yet! The piles of paper looked the same and nothing seemed to be getting less! I was getting frustrated at this point so I called it a night and left everything as is and ready to tackle it on Sunday. Chachi was restless for most of the night and if I moved a little in bed, he jumped off and went under the bed! He is a real scaredy cat!

Sunday dawned bright and early and I was up early even before the birds were! Okay, first breakfast, shower, get back into a fresh pair of PJs and hit the road running. I tried, believe me I tried. I had to make sure I wasn’t shredding stuff that was needed so it was a painstaking process of going through each piece of paperwork and making piles again! Toss! Keep! Maybe or rather I don’t know! God, Sundays are not made for this kind of BS! There is a reason why Sundays are rest days. Well, I knew that but “ambition” got in the way and now I’m stuck. Chachi, eyed me suspiciously with his, “I told you so,” look.

Close to lunchtime, I carried the piles of paperwork back into the office area, found a space for them and promised I’ll get to them when I was in a better mood. They whispered back, “We don’t care! Just leave us alone!” Chachi, the cat, jumped off the bed and walked into the office and looked back at me, his big eyes speaking volumes. “Sometimes your eyes are bigger than what you’re capable of doing! I’m worn out. I’m going to go take a nap!”

So folks, that’s my Sunday so far. The office is till messy but who cares! I’m going downstairs to make some banana muffins because the cheesecake is screaming at me to come get some and my mind, the one that takes care of me is saying, “Don’t you dare!” Banana muffins are healthier so that’s it for today AND watching ghost or horror movies. I just love spooking myself and doing nothing!