daily-prompt – Site Title

One Thing I Would Change About Myself?

Hmm….just one thing? There are many things I would want to change about myself but ok, I’ll go with one and since you asked.

It would be hands done, being too nice. I have a tendency to bite the bullet and even when I want to let it rip, I step back, take a deep breath and come out smiling hiding my real feelings. It could hurt, I could think it is not fair, but still I take it in stride and instead of letting my feelings show, I let it go inside and do its job of bringing me to my knees at times and at other times, hit rock bottom.

Why? Why do I do that? I don’t know, it is part of my personality. This being “too nice” makes people view me as a pushover. Nice people end last? I think that phrase has a lot of truth to it. So, on this journey of self-discovery, I am learning to be more assertive, to not accept everything that comes my way and to say it like it is even if it is not well-received. My mental health matters, although it is a hard thing to do for someone like me.

These days, I step back and I come back wearing a cape! Ready to do battle? Not really, just standing up for myself. I am learning to like this new me but the old me still shows up wearing sackcloth and ashes and wants to talk me into going back to who I was. Not going to happen. There is something very “rejuvenating” about changing yourself for the better. Like it or not, here I am! Take it or leave it, that’s up to you.

Daily writing prompt

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

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Three Wishes

I’ve been waiting for some frog to come by and give me exactly this! Three wishes that could come true at a hop, skip and a jump or with a kiss. Either way, this kind of thing only happens in fairytales but since DP decided to give us a go with a genie, I’ll take the opportunity. Thank you DP but I’m lost for words and can’t think of anything!

Well, as always, let me give it a try. I think at the top of my list would be health. We take it for granted until it turns around and decides to bite us in the you know where and then we sit up and pay attention. Earlier this year, I had a monumental scare. After many tests and a monster of a machine later, I can say I am fine for the time being. So my first wish would be, “Give me good health.”

Second on the list, “love” to complete the picture. My life, on the whole, is almost perfect. I have lots of free time to do whatever I feel like doing and worries are of my own making. One thing that is missing is the special guy, not the dime a dozen variety but that one out of the ordinary person who almost fits me perfectly. I say “almost” because I know he’ll come with flaws and so will I but if there is a 70% fit, I’ll take him. The rest we can work out later. So far, the dime a dozen variety is plenty but that one elusive person is still out there somewhere. My second wish, “Please show him the way before I give up hope altogether!”

The third wish? This is a hard one. I’ll go with, “Let’s give fascism a boot out the door and never to return again!” The mother of all ills? I think so. Let’s make this world a kinder and gentler place for everyone and not just a select few.

Did I just blow my wishes away? Oh well, DP you tried, but I have a mind of my own and add being stubborn as a mule to it and you’ve got, “Wishes don’t stand a chance,” genie or not!

Daily writing prompt

You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?

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Lazy Days

Do lazy days make me feel rested or unproductive, that was the question. Let me see, I had a lazy day yesterday. I did nothing or next to nothing.

How did it make me feel? I can’t say for sure because I was happy when I started to take it easy and not do anything of importance or one that would require too much brain power. The output would be very little and I thought I would be feeling good by the end of the day. Guess again!

By the end of the day, I was feeling more frazzled and very anxious. It seems having nothing much to do makes me feel that way. Truth be told, it wasn’t just a day with nothing to do. I did my daily walk in nature and that was fantastic as usual. I walked home looking forward to another cup of coffee and than DOING NOTHING! “Not that quick” said life. The phone kept ringing, then I had mail that needed to be taken care of and a date if I wanted it. Got your attention? Yes, a date. It was the cheesecake guy. I hadn’t heard from him in ages and thought it was water under the bridge. To tell you the truth, I was glad that we didn’t have to do the relationship dance anymore. Chachi, the cat, was glad too. He never liked him. Anyway, he was on the other end saying he wanted to meet, just for coffee and a chat. I thought why not. I agreed to a date and time. Getting off the phone, I felt agitated. Dates make me feel that way!

I decided my mind needed something to keep it occupied. This “doing nothing” was getting on my nerves! I looked at my other projects, a sequel to “The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie.” It is finished and has been accepted but I thought it needed brushing up so I pulled out the manuscript and went to work. Chachi plays the lead role in that one and he does a mighty fine job. I got bored after a while and looked at my other project, a novel that spans three generations. Whoa! Yes, right. It is a huge project, 362 pages done and I am lost. Not sure how to proceed. Bah hambug!

What am I doing? It was supposed to be a lazy day. So I put my feet up, cuddled with my little guy and was feeling rested until my ex showed up. We talked for a while but I could feel something coming to the surface. It wasn’t good. I cut the conversation short and sent him on his way. It was downhill from there. My lazy day was nowhere to be seen and I had to keep moving to keep my mind from going to places I didn’t want it to go!

So do lazy days make me feel rested or unproductive. I can’t answer that question because I don’t think I have had one so far!

Daily writing prompt

Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

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First Time Grown Up Feeling

I think it was when I had my first job during the school holidays. Not sure how old I was, perhaps fifteen. The job was nothing to brag about. I worked in a store as a sales person. It was my first step into feeling like I was doing something productive. The job itself was boring and one thing I knew, I wanted to do better than that.

Anyway, when I got my first paycheck I was over the moon. It was money I had earned on my own and there was pride in that. Okay, it was a paltry sum but back then it felt like a whole lot of money! On my way home, I stopped at a Chinese restaurant and picked up some food to go. I think it was a noodle dish and a stir fry of some sort. Happy as a lark, I made my way home with the food containers tightly in grip and a big smile on my face.

I walked in the door like a grown up. Walking over to the table I placed the containers on the table and declared, “I brought food home.” I think I was glowing from head to toe! Watching my brothers and sisters dig in was something else and when my parents did the same, I felt like a grown up for the very first time.

It was my first grown up experience. However, these days kids are different. My son had everything handed to him and he led a privileged life. Work was nowhere in the picture and when he had to step out in the real world, I thought this is going to be a difficult transition. Well, it was. Amidst the complaints of working for a living and falling flat on his face, he is learning to be a grown up in his own way. Thank God for that!

Daily writing prompt

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

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Principled

I don’t know if being principled is a good trait since it has caused unnecessary pain in times past because I refused to stray from what I thought was right and being rigid and principled sometimes means that you get the short end of the stick as well.

We live in a world where “principles” are not as important as they use to be. Bending the rules to suit your needs has become part and parcel of behavior in today’s society. However, I have held on steadfastly to my principles.

The good thing about being principled is that you are committed to integrity, honesty and you are responsible in your actions . There is a certain moral compass that enables you to come across as a trustworthy and reliable person. The bad thing? It can be a hindrance because people may view you as a person who has a stick so far up the you know what that there is no getting you to see their side of things. Been there, done that, and I continue to do that!

However, it is their opinion. I like being principled and there are certain things I will stand for and others absolutely not.

Spinster for life? Who knows only time will tell. I might be like that captain who went down with his ship bearing full responsibility for the vessel, only I will be holding onto my principles till the very end!

Daily writing prompt

What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

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Things I Enjoy About Writing

It is hard to put into words. Writing has always been a way to bring out what is hiding inside. The insecurities, the pain, the worries, the lessons I have learned all take on a different persona when I see it in print or on my posts. It is a way of releasing what I need to release to move on.

I also relish the free reign my mind has to go to places I wouldn’t do as a person. Yes, it takes me places and the fantasy world is lit up and full of radiance as I dance there for a while. I have the ability to let go of things I have been holding inside and it gives me an avenue to look at it with different eyes, from a distance instead of right smack in the middle of it!

Writing has helped to calm the beast that I call my mind. An hour or more of writing and I walk away feeling calmer and my insides cleared of the clutter that often resides there and sometimes I am given a blank slate to start over again but it doesn’t happen all the time because I have too much clutter and it is going to take a long time before that part happens.

Writing is about stepping into a different role. One of observer rather than having lived. Not sure if that makes sense. I take on the role of observing, dissecting and making sense of what has transpired AND how to make it better. The act of writing helps me to go deep within and to get it out there so that my inner being can breathe again and in the process I hope my writing helps others who have walked the same path I have.

The joys of writing are plenty but for me it is my way of helping my psyche to deal with things and the other thing is, I get to paint pictures with words! If you can picture every detail as you read, the colors, the sounds, the feelings and much much more, than my writing has done what it started out to do.

Daily writing prompt

What do you enjoy most about writing?

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The Profession I Admire

I was never a highly ambitious person and in my younger days when others were dreaming of changing the world, I had my head in the clouds. A dreamer so to speak. I never thought in terms of one particular profession, I was all over the place.

Writing was something I loved and having published my first short story in a well-known magazine at the age of 16, I wanted to do that all the time. The “high” was addicting. However, even though the story made cover page, I learned that writing didn’t pay well and I also learned that not all who write are writers after getting my share of rejections. Anyway, I got $600 for that story, back then a pretty good sum but still not enough to make a living on. I kept writing but other things stepped in. I would go on to publish more than a 1,000 articles but all done from the sidelines while I pursued more lucrative options. University was where I thought I wanted to be someone. One of the things I admired was speechwriter for the President no less! Journalism was next on my radar. However, writing about the mundane and sometimes about murders which required your actual presence at crime scenes made me step back and I nixed that idea quickly!

Fashion Editor was next. It was fun at first. Celebs, supermodels and designers were all part of my job. Then it got boring! Now, I’m a published author. Where that will take me I don’t know. The book will be out at the end of August and who knows if it is a success or a flop. It’s wait and see now.

Oh, one thing I admired as a young girl were the nuns. Yes, the habit wearing ones. I wanted to be just like them. I glamorized that vocation and I wanted to be in the service of God. Yes, you guessed it. Some of those daily bible study lessons had rubbed off on me! Unfortunately, I grew up! The boys came a calling and being a nun went out the window as well. My eyes do light up when I see them on the streets now and then!

I think I still have my head in the clouds but not as much as I used to. I don’t have any specific profession I admire, but the next time around I want to work at the White House where there is never a dull moment and life is never the same day in and day out!

Daily writing prompt

What profession do you admire most and why?

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Most Money Ever Spent on a Meal

Here’s another question and nothing comes to mind! I don’t think I’ve ever spent a lot on a meal when I had to pay for it on my own. Mostly, it has been just simple meals and nothing much to speak of.

However, there was one time when I was invited out for dinner and the cost blew my mind. He was a Qantas Airways pilot, who lived in Australia but was used to flying in and out of Asia and he invited me out to dinner. I was thinking it would be a simple restaurant so nothing spectacular. I was wrong.

The restaurant was high up somewhere in the clouds, on the 70th floor, and a revolving one at that. We were met at the entrance by a Russian soldier dressed in medieval gear. He looked menacing. We had to wait at the bar to be seated. When we finally got our table, it had a beautiful view of the city and it was lit up like a Christmas tree. The scenery kept changing and that was more than interesting. First course, was a big plate of oysters on ice with black caviar and sliced boiled eggs. I had never had oysters or caviar before. The oysters looked unappetizing but he insisted I try one. I did and it was not to my liking.

They made a big display of opening the wine bottle and since I don’t drink, it was nothing for me either. Then the main course came. It was steak in a sumptuous sauce. I don’t recall what else came with it because the steak was melt in your mouth and blew everything else away. What came next? Dessert I think. but I’m not sure. Everything was perfect but nothing was lined with gold or anything like that to warrant what came next.

The bill was a whopping $350 dollars!

I think that was the most expensive meal I had ever been invited to and the fact that he thought I was worth it was mind-blowing as well.

Daily writing prompt

What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on a meal? Was it worth it?

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Life & Love

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These are two things I’m curious about and I wish I can get a handle on both of them. So far, it has been touch and go. Just when I think I know what life and love are all about, it goes and changes on me!

One thing I know is that life is unpredictable more so than love. You can’t count on it being the same day in and day out and there is no counting on it to remain the same. If anything, it has the ability to turn your world upside down when you least expect it and that is exactly why I’m curious about it. It almost seems like it knows what it is doing AND it also knows that we are fully capable of handling whatever it throws our way even if we think it is an impossibility or there is no way we’re going to stand back up from the latest onslaught. Looking back, I think I was ENOUGH all along but still I want it laid out in black and white as to what life is and why it is so erratic. Some say it is the nature of the beast.

Love, on the other hand, is predictable. If you are in a bad relationship, it goes without saying that it is going to end badly. I have found that when I veer off the path and go my own way, I usually wind up getting hurt. It also seems that the “chase” doesn’t always work. If I take my focus away from finding love, the right kind of love, it shows up knocking on my door. Only problem is that I still keep looking thinking there is more out there, the almost perfect person for me and that is my problem. I know what love can do, how it can take you soaring or rip you apart and leave you gasping for air, that too is predictable. I am curious about the “forever love” the kind that lasts for a lifetime. I am still looking for it. If the person will show up that is the question.

I am curious about many things but those two listed above are at the top of my list. Perhaps, I should leave it alone but when has that stopped me!

Daily writing prompt

What are you curious about?

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Traditions

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Almost every family has them and some are wonderful and some we can do without. My family had many traditions and I had to be there whether I wanted to or not!

My parents were religious people and church on Sundays was one of those traditions. I’m not just talking about Sunday service but spending the whole day at church! Yes, it was excruciating for a young girl but I did it simply because it was a must. This is one tradition I don’t keep up with. I’m not going to put my son through it either. It’s his decision altogether and he has chosen to go the other way but I think a little religion doesn’t hurt anyone.

All the other holidays were part and parcel of our upbringing. Christmas was a big deal but I loved it and when I was married, I kept up with the tradition. Presents, lights, Christmas carols and good food were all still a part of tradition but nowadays, it is a quiet affair. No going all out, just some lights, music and a quiet time, so that has changed. Thanksgiving was another big deal. It was a time for family get-togethers, turkey and all the trimmings and lots of food! I’ve changed it to almost nothing. When the friend was there, we would have a semblance of Thanksgiving, just some good food and a quiet time together. Now that he is gone, I’m mostly on my own except for Chachi, the cat.

Traditions have changed but I guess it does when life changes. Time changes things too and circumstances complete the picture. Memories of those traditions I had with my parents still remain, they always will, because they were wonderful times except for the whole day at church bit. I could have done without those.

Daily writing prompt

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

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