Just like that….it is over. The feelings and emotions crowding your mind and raging through your body are almost too much to bear. Disbelief, anger, sadness, numbness, confusion and rage could be some of the emotions taking hold and letting go gracefully is the last thing on your mind.
It is a normal reaction. Give it time to settle down even if it feels like it never will right now. It is done for, so let it go gracefully.
“The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go.” Unknown
It is not easy to let go and it is downright scary. Suddenly it becomes real and very uncomfortable. Most of us look at it as a relationship ending and there is a mad scramble within to want to save what can’t be saved. What went wrong is the first question that comes to mind. The more pertinent question is, does it even matter? Crying over split milk is a lost cause and venting over lost time and energy even more so. Consider it a sunk cost and take steps to move on.
Did I neglect his needs, wants and feelings?
Did he neglect mine?
What led to the breakup?
Did he fall into me or was I the one doing the chasing running circles around him?
Did he hurt me intentionally? There is a difference between hurting someone and hurting someone intentionally. The latter is done with total disrespect knowing full well that the action taken will have repercussions and not of the nice kind.
More importantly, how much of what I didn’t want, did I tolerate?
The answers coming back could be eye-openers because, as women, we tend to have blinders on when it comes to love and relationships. What we wouldn’t tolerate normally are the very things we are quick to disregard when it comes to that special person in our life.
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Unknown
Letting go is a grieving process. You’ll have to go through the grieving to get to the other side. There are five steps to the process. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. There is a quote that goes like this:
“The buffalo is the only animal that runs into a storm rather than away from it.”
Why? It’s because, “they instinctively know that walking into a storm will get them out of the weather quicker, despite knowing they’ll suffer more up front.” Face your problems head-on with courage and determination and by spending time there instead of ignoring them you will be able to move past them more quickly and effectively.
However, if you don’t want to do all five of the grieving techniques, accept what has happened, don’t ponder too much on why it happened but know that sometimes:
“Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path.” Unknown
AND
“Some things break your heart but fix your vision.” Unknown
Let go gracefully and walk away with your dignity intact. Smile even if it hurts and turn the switch off. It is done for now and you’ll be fine.
Have an amazing day.
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