romance – Site Title

My Top Ten Favorite Movies

I am a romantic at heart so I like watching movies about love. My top ten favorite movies of all time are:

The Notebook

This love story has you captivated right from the start. What starts out as a summer romance turns into a romance never to be forgotten. I’ve watched this one many times over!

Sleepless in Seattle

Who doesn’t like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan? Together they are a powerhouse couple and it is one of the most romantic films ever made.

Notting Hill

Love happens and it can happen between a glamorous movie star, Julia Roberts, and an average bloke. A beautiful love story with all the trimmings.

Pretty Woman

This is one of my favorites. Love strikes between a rich entrepreneur and a prostitute. How often does that happen? Only in the movies? Perhaps but it is worth watching.

Legends of the Fall

Loved this one. It is an epic tale that touches on themes like family, love, loss and throw in a war and you have a fantastic movie worth watching over and over again.

Ghost

I recall watching this movie when I invited my boyfriend at that time (my ex) over to my place for dinner. Just a tip, don’t watch this if you are only friends with someone because this movie can change things quickly as it did for us!

When Harry Met Sally

An all-time classic with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. It had all the elements of a great movie and it had me rooting for them.

You’ve Got Mail

Another Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movie. A famous line from the movie goes like this:

“I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three words: You’ve got mail.” Watch it to find out why.

An Officer and a Gentleman

Loved this one. A brilliant film with great performances by Richard Gere and Debra Winger.

Last not not least

Pearl Harbor

It is a historical romance that mixes two events, the attack on Pearl Harbor and a twisted love story.

There you have it. Ten movies that are worth watching and if you’re a romantic than these are right down your alley.

Daily writing prompt

What are your top ten favorite movies?

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Mr. Right!

I met up with my girlfriend yesterday. It was our usual weekly meeting to catch up on stuff and to let the conversation take us to where it wants to go. Two cups of coffee and a simple breakfast of eggs, a bread roll and a side salad usually accompanies the meeting.

Yesterday was no different. It started out with small talk and then it did a major U-Turn! The conversation went to men and in particular about Mr. Right. Don’t ask me why but it just did.

“Very few women wait for Mr. Right. Most women take the first and worst Mr. Wrong.” Elfriede Jelinek

Ring any bells? It does with me. Anyway, she was on this path of destruction. According to her, Mr. Right does not exist. I’ll add that’s because in her world, she’s into fun and nothing more. Mr. Right can stay in Africa for all she cares!

I was hanging onto my ideals for dear life. Fun is the last thing on my mind and getting anywhere is next to impossible. She decided to give me a lesson on how to find Mr. Right. Chachi, the cat, tried yesterday but he didn’t get anywhere but I didn’t tell her that.

HER: “You’re doing it all wrong. If you don’t give an inch, you’ll never find him!

ME: “It doesn’t work that way with me.”

HER: “Sure it can. Live a little or rather take that “stick” and send it packing!”

ME: “Can’t. It’s my constant companion.”

HER: “You see what the problem is don’t you? Men like some fun and you’re NO FUN!”

Okay guys, you get the drift. I wanted to point out to her that her method doesn’t work either. She’s always moaning about how the men she dates are the “here today and gone tomorrow,” variety. I wanted to tell her why but decided to keep it to myself. It goes on the lines of, “easy come, easy go.” She was on a rant fest and I let her have her way.

Friends are allowed to rant now and then. I’m allowed to let it go in one ear and out the other. It is exactly what I did. Coming back to Mr. Right, experts say, “the focus should be on building a fulfilling relationship with the person you are with.” Finding the right fit is important and someone who matches your lifestyle is also important. They don’t have to be perfect and imperfections are allowed as well.

“Find a heart that loves you at your worst, and arms that will hold you at your weakest.” Unknown

AND

“When you stop trying to find the right man and start becoming the right woman, the right man will eventually find his way to you.”

Something to bear in mind and as for Chachi and my girlfriend, I do things my way. Unfortunately, you become “dangerous” after being on the path of self-discovery because the wrong ones tend to disappear and the right ones? Well, it will take a little time before they start appearing. One can only hope!

Have an amazing day.

My Definition of Romantic

There are grand gestures and then there are smaller gestures. Grand gestures are dinners in a nice restaurant complete with flowers and a walk somewhere nice. I go for the other variety. Flowers are nice and I love them but the romantic gesture that captures my heart is a walk by the beach, the sky above emblazoned with a thousand stars, the scent of the ocean and the sound of the waves, add to that a touch of the hand, a glance in my direction that speaks more than words can say followed by a moonlit kiss, soft and gentle. This would be my perfect definition of a romantic or a romance-filled evening.

Last year, I was seeing someone. It was a long distance relationship but he would drive the three hours to spend the weekend here. He would bring flowers and we would go out to a nice dinner or take a walk in another village and just let the evening develop. The thing I liked best was that we could sit out back for hours on end, watch the stars come out without saying a word. Once or twice, he would reach out and just hold my hand or give me a kiss on the cheek. Nothing spectacular but it did make my heart skip a beat. What happened to him? That’s another story. Time spent together was enjoyable and at times it felt like home. That too is my definition of a romantic.

I don’t think I’m a romantic but I do love a guy going out of his way to show that he cares. The friend who passed away was a pure romantic. He ran the gamut and nothing was left to chance. Flowers, expensive gifts, dinners, you name it, he was into it. I knew without a doubt that the guy was full-on in. Others are more subtle but still it’s the caring that counts and the little gestures that make up a true romantic.

Daily writing prompt

What’s your definition of romantic?

View all responses

One Favorite Moment

Photo by Jean-Daniel Francoeur on Pexels.com

It’s hard to say since I have so many of them. Beautiful sunsets, walks on the beach in different countries, the birth of my son, the first time he called me mommy and so many more. All hold a special place in my heart and will stay there forever as special or favorite moments. However, there is one moment that has never tarnished and remains as clear as day even after so many years.

It was my first kiss. Did I get your attention? A love story? It was. I was 21 when I got my first kiss. What? Try living a normal life in a very strict Christian family. Mom used to say, “I have eyes at the back of my head and I can see everything you’re up to.” That put the fear of the devil in me, that and the fact that I was saving myself for marriage.

Anyway, he walked into my life and I was a goner! He was tall and handsome with piercing green eyes. Half Algerian and half French. Yes, quite a combination. If that wasn’t enough, he was a pilot, a captain no less. The fact that he was as old as my dad didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. He didn’t see the sign plastered across my forehead either that said, “Saving myself for marriage.” He was a seasoned playboy. The two do not mix. Anyway, the first time I saw him in uniform I held up the, “I am in love!” flag. I didn’t know what it meant only that he was beautiful to look at and he made my breath catch in my throat! Looks mattered back then.

Our first date was fantastic. We had eyes only for each other. Then we took a walk on the beach and with a thousand or a million stars shining above and….wait for it….he kissed me. I felt like I was drowning, dying, flying and everything in between! I was putty in his hands but he sensed something and asked, “Your first kiss? Unbelievable.” It was a long walk back to the car but something was changing within me. It wasn’t just a moment, it was a new beginning. One that I have never forgotten.

What happened to him? We dated but like I said earlier, playboy and an innocent do not mix. I held on to my beliefs and he couldn’t change who he was. We went our separate ways. However, my first kiss was one of my favorite moments of a lifetime. I stayed up there for three days after that kiss. Just flying around in heaven somewhere!

Daily writing prompt

Describe one of your favorite moments.

View all responses

REAL LOVE (Archives)

“The difference between real love and fake love is this. Real love is so quick to resume its original shape after being stretched and expanded always to recover no matter what it endures.

Fake love is brittle, it breaks over even the simplest of things.”

If you are searching for love as I am, it is important to know the difference between the two. Real love takes time to cultivate, it’s not WHAM! BAM! and you’re in love. Some people may believe this is the case or rather they call it love at first sight. I had a few of those in my younger days but now that I’m older and wiser those butterflies in my stomach do not flutter like they used to.

These days I am a critic of the worst kind where love is concerned. If you thought Sherlock Holmes was good, I am better. I tell myself I am looking for true love, the kind that lasts a lifetime so playing detective to the hilt falls into the realm of weeding out the “fakes” to get at that one true love.

Fakes they are aplenty. They come out of the woodwork when you least expect it and in a blink of an eye, they’re in love and want to take it to the next level. The problem is if they winked at you once, they’ll wink twice at someone else. They’re prone to take it way past the winking stage if you know what I mean. They’ll love you so long as it is convenient for them but they’ll just as quickly run off to greener pastures when the opportunity presents itself. Dependable they are not and short-term is the name of the game. They’ll break your heart in a minute and move on without looking back and leave you to hold the remnants of your heart in your hands and you’re left wondering what happened. Don’t bother questioning why? Just know you want better.

The “real” ones don’t come out to play, well not often anyway. They’re the ones with integrity, self-worth, honesty and they stand their ground when it comes to love. They’re not wishy-washy but unfortunately there are not many of them to go around unlike the other kind, they’re a dime a dozen.

Needless to say, I’m holding out for “real” love. If it takes time, so be it. However, universe if you are listening, I ask that you bring him sooner than later, at least before the butterflies are totally dead in my stomach!

I’m not going to say I hope because according to a certain life coach this has a negative connotation and will bring more of the same. I’m going to say, I KNOW it will happen. Fingers crossed!

Have an amazing day.

Don’t Chase (Archives)

“You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.” Nina Simone

This quote brought a smile to my face. How often have we done exactly that? How often have we held on when it was absolutely clear that no amount of cajoling or talking someone into whatever it is you want from them was ever going to change the situation. If that someone does not love you or has stopped loving you, MOVE ON! Learn to leave with your dignity intact.

Easier said than done right? When I found out that my husband of 17 years had been cheating on me something broke within me. I can’t explain it. I became numb. After it wore off, I went into the, “I’ve got to save this marriage mode.” The truth was there was no saving what was never there. When he chose to cheat, he broke the sacred bond between us, broke the trust into a millions pieces, disrespected me and declared our love to be a non-entity. How do you save something that was broken beyond repair? Still I sat at that table. I refused to leave thinking we could go back to a semblance of what was. I cried, I begged and even made a fool of myself but chasing him after he had done wrong only gave him more power over me. He didn’t see his wife or the broken woman before him, he saw someone he could manipulate and decided that he could have his cake and eat it too. When that didn’t work, he walked chasing greener pastures so to speak. Unfortunately or fortunately, cheating never pays and soon that “green pasture” turned into a desert and it was over before he could say, “Hello!”

Commitment is a tricky thing. Sometimes we look for it in all the wrong places. We latch on and even if all the signs tell us to tread lightly we rush in refusing to budge thinking that if we just waited long enough, something will give and sitting at the table of “no love” will turn into something glorious. The truth of the matter is as Matthew Hussey put it so succinctly,

“You shouldn’t try to sell a car to someone who’s in the market for a bike.”

I am learning that I’m NOT looking for the guy who wants to buy the bike, he can have it for all I care. I don’t think I’m even trying to sell a car. These days, I know that I don’t have to sell anything. I am good enough as I am, no selling required!

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.” Roy T. Bennett

Have an amazing day.

REAL LOVE (Archives)

A Series on Getting Back on Track.

“The difference between real love and fake love is this. Real love is so quick to resume its original shape after being stretched and expanded always to recover no matter what it endures. Fake love is brittle, it breaks over even the simplest of things.” Unknown

Fakes they are aplenty. They come out of the woodwork when you least expect it and in a blink of an eye, they’re in love and want to take it to the next level. The problem is if they winked at you once, they’ll wink twice at someone else. They’re prone to take it way past the winking stage if you know what I mean. They’ll love you so long as it is convenient for them but they’ll just as quickly run off to greener pastures when the opportunity presents itself. Dependable they are not and short-term is the name of the game. They’ll break your heart in a minute and move on without looking back and leave you holding the remnants of your heart in your hands and wondering what happened. Don’t bother questioning why? Just know you want better.

I’m not going to say I hope because according to a certain life coach this has a negative connotation and will bring more of the same. I’m going to say, I KNOW it will happen. Fingers crossed!

Have an amazing day.

Needle in a Haystack

Looking for the needle in a haystack is defined as “something that is almost impossible to find because it is hidden among so many other things,” or it could mean that you are very unlikely indeed to find it.

Someone once said to me that I choose to be alone. If I didn’t want to be alone, I would already be in a relationship. I disagree with this assumption. Choosing a partner needs to be a well-thought out, well-planned affair. Grabbing any guy who comes along is easy but that one elusive person, the one who fits the mold and the one who offers long-term is really hard to find. The needle in the haystack is elusive, impossible to find and at times the end goal is disappointing and yet I keep looking. Am I trying too hard? It has been said that when you go looking for something, you never find it but when you stop looking, there it is right before your eyes.

“If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don’t find it. If you don’t give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not – it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack.” P. G. Wodehouse

Perhaps there is some truth to this quote but alas Mr. Wodehouse, my problem is that I keep missing the haystack altogether! I want to zero in on that haystack where the needle is hidden but each haystack I find seems to be the wrong one and I walk past without exploring further. Picky?

DEFINITELY! That’s why they call me complicated.

I have this “perfect guy” image etched in my mind and that right there is the problem. He is in my mind and the others don’t measure up. At this rate, I don’t think I’m ever going to find him no matter how many frogs I kiss not that I’ve kissed that many. I walk off before the kiss happens and look towards the distance for the next Prince Charming to come riding in on his white horse but it never fails, they are missing one thing or another and sometimes they ride in with no horse at all!

How do you find that needle in the haystack?

The answer –

“the way you find an actual needle in an actual haystack – is to burn the haystack to the ground. What you’ll be left with is the needle, because metal doesn’t burn.” Jennie Young

Hmm…. if that fails,

“Needle in the haystack’s easy – just bring a magnet.” Keith DeCandido

Fine and good and even funny to an extent but that guy living rent-free in my head needs to materialize in front of me so that we can ride off into the sunset together. Please universe, if you are listening make it happen before the next frog rolls around with his lips puckered for that all elusive kiss!

AND

Santa, if you’re listening, I am ready! If it’s going to take a little while longer that is alright too. Just gives me time to work on myself and to be ready when the frog, no, I mean “the guy” shows up.

Have an amazing day.

THE ONE

“As you awaken, you will come to understand that the journey to love isn’t about finding “THE ONE” the journey is about becoming “THE ONE.” Craig Crippen

Ever since I started putting myself back in the dating circle, I’ve asked this question over and over again. How do I spot “The One?” Will he stand out like a sore thumb or will our paths cross and sparks would fly? The answer surprisingly is, you’ll have to look, decipher and discard as you go along to find that one special person. Love like in the movies is for the make-believe theater. Real life is something else.

However, he’s NOT the one if he takes you for granted.

He’s not the one if he enjoys cutting you down to size because it makes him feel good.

He’s definitely not the one if anger is part of his DNA and he goes on a rage fest every chance he gets. If this is the case, he is definitely not the ONE!

He’s not the one if your feelings do not matter to him.

He’s not the one if he’s hung up on someone else and you are just an option.

He’s not the one if he doesn’t take the opportunity to show you how much he cares.

He’s definitely not the one if he doesn’t spoil you!

He’s definitely not the one if he loves you one minute and walks off when someone else catches his fancy.

He’s not the one if being a “woman” in his books means you are the weaker sex.

He’s not the one if he can’t take ‘NO’ for an answer.

He’s not the one if he looks down on you. Nope, definitely not the ONE!

He’s not the one if there isn’t tingling in your cells when he touches you.

He’s definitely not the one if he makes you question your self-worth.

He’s not the one if spending time with you is a chore and not a priority.

On the other hand….

IF HE IS THE ONE….

You’ll never have to question

who he chooses because it will be you every day.

He will be the support that you’ve prayed for, the fantasy that you thought only existed in movies and the friend that will never leave your side.

He will love you, flaws and all, & even past any pain that you’ve ever experienced. He will be intentional about his efforts.

If he’s the one,

you’ll know that you’re a priority,

not a backup plan. Unknown

The problem is not everyone who likes you can be the ONE and there is a difference between friendship and love. You have a right to choose the right person and if that is a problem then he is definitely NOT THE ONE!

Have an amazing day.

REAL LOVE

“The difference between real love and fake love is this. Real love is so quick to resume its original shape after being stretched and expanded always to recover no matter what it endures.

Fake love is brittle, it breaks over even the simplest of things.”

Fakes they are aplenty. They come out of the woodwork when you least expect it and in a blink of an eye, they’re in love and want to take it to the next level. The problem is if they winked at you once, they’ll wink twice at someone else. They’re prone to take it way past the winking stage if you know what I mean. They’ll love you so long as it is convenient for them but they’ll just as quickly run off to greener pastures when the opportunity presents itself. Dependable they are not and short-term is the name of the game. They’ll break your heart in a minute and move on without looking back and leave you to hold the remnants of your heart in your hands and wondering what happened. Don’t bother questioning why? Just know you want better.

I’m not going to say I hope because according to a certain life coach this has a negative connotation and will bring more of the same. I’m going to say, I KNOW it will happen. Fingers crossed!