The Weather

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Isn’t it funny how the weather dictates how you feel and takes you soaring and diving depending on what’s out there? It’s that time of year when “dark” is the norm and the sun has taken a well-earned reprieve. Not that it has gone away but you know what I mean.

I’ve been wanting to go for a walk for the last two or three days but unfortunately the weather put a stop to that thought. I did get out for a few minutes yesterday just to feel the cold wind on my face when there was a break in between the never-ending cold and wet drizzle.

The fields were shrouded in grey and there were puddles of water everywhere. I had to pick my way around them and even though there was no one around, I decided against jumping in them. My decision was to “adult” today and not to resort to any childish antics although “adulting” doesn’t bring the twinkle in my eyes as the wanton display of disregard for norms as a child does. I gritted my teeth and kept myself in check as I walked, alone again except for the loud and raucous cawing of a crow somewhere in the trees.

Lately, there has been very little movement out in the fields. The wildlife have taken their cue from Mother Nature and have burrowed themselves deep underground or gathered in the forest somewhere for warmth. Soon, it will be my time to find solace and warmth indoors and to let nature do what it needs to do for the cycle ahead. When the first snowfall hits, I’ll be out here again to see the magic take place as the fields go from drab to a blinding white covered in snow and the trees, oh the wonderful trees will be frosted beautifully, enough to take your breath away. We’ve still got a ways to go yet before that takes place as there is no forecast for snow in the near future. I don’t think dreams of a white Christmas is going to be a reality this year.

Still, I love this time of year even though my mood takes a dive now and then. It doesn’t stay down for long because I’m learning to see the positives instead of always concentrating on the negatives. The glass is half-empty methodology has been turned on its head and now I’m looking at it as being half-full. Gratitude is doing the rest to lift my spirits and to get me on the path to happiness for a change.

Time for a hot cup of coffee and to cuddle under the blanket and to be thankful for all that I have.

Have an amazing day.

My Walk

It was simple, it didn’t cost anything but it brought a world of relaxation and peace into my being. Walks are my way of relaxing but it is more than that. I find a world that doesn’t depend on material goods or validation from the outside world and what society expects from me. It is a world of endless possibilities and where I can let my imagination run wild. Just half an hour of me being out in nature soothes the mind and calms the beast that I call my mind that tends to run wild at times! It is a time for contemplation and a time to be grateful for all that surrounds me and a reminder that if nature can take care of itself then so can I. That’s my idea of fun or the grown-up version of it anyway.

THE ONE

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“As you awaken, you will come to understand that the journey to love isn’t about finding “THE ONE” the journey is about becoming “THE ONE.” Craig Crippen

Ever since I started putting myself back in the dating circle, I’ve asked this question over and over again. How do I spot “The One?” Will he stand out like a sore thumb or will our paths cross and sparks would fly? The answer surprisingly is, you’ll have to look, decipher and discard as you go along to find that one special person. Love like in the movies is for the make-believe theater. Real life is something else.

However, he’s NOT the one if he takes you for granted.

He’s not the one if he enjoys cutting you down to size because it makes him feel good.

He’s definitely not the one if anger is part of his DNA and he goes on a rage fest every chance he gets. If this is the case, he is definitely not the ONE!

He’s not the one if your feelings do not matter to him.

He’s not the one if he’s hung up on someone else and you are just an option.

He’s not the one if he doesn’t take the opportunity to show you how much he cares.

He’s definitely not the one if he doesn’t spoil you!

He’s definitely not the one if he loves you one minute and walks off when someone else catches his fancy.

He’s not the one if being a “woman” in his books means you are the weaker sex.

He’s not the one if he can’t take ‘NO’ for an answer.

He’s not the one if he looks down on you. Nope, definitely not the ONE!

He’s not the one if there isn’t tingling in your cells when he touches you.

He’s definitely not the one if he makes you question your self-worth.

He’s not the one if spending time with you is a chore and not a priority.

On the other hand….

IF HE IS THE ONE….

You’ll never have to question

who he chooses because it will be you every day.

He will be the support that you’ve prayed for, the fantasy that you thought only existed in movies and the friend that will never leave your side.

He will love you, flaws and all, & even past any pain that you’ve ever experienced. He will be intentional about his efforts.

If he’s the one,

you’ll know that you’re a priority,

not a backup plan. Unknown

The problem is not everyone who likes you can be the ONE and there is a difference between friendship and love. You have a right to choose the right person and if that is a problem then he is definitely NOT THE ONE!

Have an amazing day.

Self-Discipline

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“Self-discipline starts with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do.” Napoleon Hill

It has to be trained and that right there is where most of us fail miserably. It is also an art form that has to be told to “heel” when necessary and that’s where the problem comes in. We live in a world where instant gratification is of the utmost importance so throwing self-discipline out the window is easy enough to do and dealing with the consequences is often met with a shrug of the shoulders and a “so what” attitude.

What is self-discipline? According to markcperna.com, it is the “ability to tell ourselves “no” when we feel or want something that our reason tells us is not what’s best right now.”

It could be in the form of saying “no” to an extra slice of cheesecake and yes I still have that fetish, to jumping into bed with someone knowing full well that is the wrong thing to do. One to a lesser degree than the other but we are willing to turn a blind eye and do it anyway. Self-discipline is becoming a lost skill in this instant gratification society of ours and that is the sad truth.

“Without self-discipline, success is impossible. PERIOD.” Lou Holtz

It is a principle that if applied religiously makes your dreams come true. Waking up earlier to do an extra half-hour of exercise, meditation, yoga, whatever is to your liking will get you on the path to achieving that stellar “new” you. Learning to say “NO!” to things that don’t serve you will teach you that if you say it enough it becomes easier to do. This takes practice and especially for me because saying “no” is hard because I am way too accommodating and at times a pushover when it comes to saying no but I am learning.

Another word for it is willpower but whichever word you use, it is the ability to say “NO” when you know doing otherwise is to your detriment. Since it is a learned behavior, you need to learn to master it and to rewire your mindset

Here are some ways to implement self-discipline practices everyday according to medium.com.

They suggest that you stay active when it comes to discipline. Do what you need to do and don’t get distracted. Stick to what you need to get done each day. This is called an Active Discipline method.

The next is the Reactive Discipline tactic. Control your thoughts or behavior when dealing with unforeseen situations. Treat yourself with kindness but know what is right and wrong.

Do things in advance to better manage a situation. If you know it is going to rain, bring an umbrella. Create a to do list or go to bed on time. Keep temptation at a minumum or as the phrase goes, “do not step into the lion’s den” because you know will happen if you do. This last one is called the Proactive Discipline strategy.

However, the quote below says it better:

“Don’t stand in front of the cookie (cheesecake) with your eyes glued to it.” Unknown

It’s a practice and as with every new goal you have to work towards it. It doesn’t just happen once and you’re done with it. It is a constant which requires full-minded focus but the rewards are worth it. You become more adapt at time management, you become mentally stronger, it helps you to overcome laziness and procrastination, and you build better relationships showing more empathy and love. People with higher self-discipline are more trustworthy and likable as well.

What’s not to like? Set it in motion because no self-discipline means no success.

Have an amazing day.

Top Five Grocery Items

I go for all things organic that includes fruits, vegetables, chicken, eggs and sauerkraut. The last item has been touted as a probiotic which means good for your gut health. I don’t eat it everyday but try to have it at least once every other week. Perfect gut health? So far so good so must be doing something right. Fingers crossed!

Figure It Out

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“You don’t need to have it all figured out to take a step forward.” Unknown

This is the absolute truth. You don’t need to know everything before you take the next step forward but you have to trust in the process and move forward, one step at a time. You’ll get there.

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt.”

“You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.” Unknown

This is where we go wrong I think. We want what we think we deserve but life has other plans for us. Go with what you have, work with what you have and make it the best set of cards for you and you’ll come out the winner. I have to remind myself of this as well the next time I moan and groan at the unfairness of it all!

“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.” Unknown

The stories we tell ourselves can be the road to disaster. It screws us up. How it’s supposed to be and what you do to get there are two different things. It’s not going to fall into your lap, whatever it is that you want, it takes hard work and that is the truth of the matter.

“You don’t have to figure everything out today. You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. And you don’t have to tackle everything at once. You just have to show up and try. You just have to focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. And you have to trust that you’ll figure out the rest along the way.” Daniel Koepke

Nice piece of advice that. Just keep moving, show up and you’ll be on your way.

“My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.” Unknown

Okay this one speaks to yours truly! I can’t for the life of me figure out the plot. Perhaps it is best not to ask but to just trust that I have what it takes to make it and the rest will fall into place. Easier said than done!

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” Michael Jordan

This special piece of advice is what life is about. Giving up is not going to do it and as I often say, bite the bullet and keep on going.

TODAY

figure out what makes you happy and do more of it, figure out what doesn’t, and do – less of it. –

Mandy Hale

YOU WILL FIGURE IT OUT!

Have an amazing day.

Describe a man….

This is a hard one. At first glance, I couldn’t think of anyone. My dad was a God-fearing man and a hard working one but there was a lack as far as the emotional side goes. We knew he loved us but we craved more and that was not forthcoming. All the others that came into my life were there to teach me a lesson. Lessons I did not want to learn but had to which brings me to the present where I am trying to find out what makes me tick and what it is that I am really looking for. Once I learn that side of me maybe finding the man who will positively impact my life will be an easy task.

Sad but true.

Daily writing prompt
Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.

The Brutal Beating Death of Bakari Henderson

Lest We Forget

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Nine men were arrested and charged with the intentional homicide of American tourist, Bakari Henderson on July 2017 on the idyllic Greek island of Zakynthos.  It’s been almost a year since the brutal attack and killing of the young American outside a bar on the island and we have yet to see justice prevail in this case.  The suspects are a 34-year-old Greek bartender, a 32-year-old British citizen of Serbian origin and seven Serbian men.

Why was Henderson attacked and beaten to death?  According to reports, it was because he had taken a selfie with a woman of Serbian descent who had requested the selfie from him.  A man nearby was heard saying, “There are a lot of Serbs in the bar, why are you talking to a black guy?” and proceeded to hit Henderson on the side of the head.  This set-off the chain of events which led to the young man’s death.

Henderson was 22-years-old at the time and a recent graduate of the University of Arizona.  He had big plans for his future and he was in Greece trying to get a new clothing venture off the ground.  He was accompanied by some friends and until that fateful night, he had been having fun on the Greek island.

According to his mother, Jill Henderson, in an interview with Gayle King of CBS News, he was, “more comfortable overseas  than in the United States.  He just felt it was safer over in Europe and overseas in general,” referring to the racial climate against black men in the United States.

It could have been this misconception that cost him his life. After the altercation in the bar, a surveillance footage shows Anderson being chased out of the bar by a group of men, surrounded and then beaten to death.  According to Greek police spokesman, Theodore Chronopoulous, “They kicked and punched him to his body and his head.  His death came from hits to the head.”  Henderson was on his own against the angry mob who pummeled him to the ground and there was nothing anyone could do except to stand and watch the incident take place.  After the beating, his friends tried to resuscitate him but he died on the way to hospital.

In the same interview with Gayle King of CBS News, Jill Henderson had this to say about her son’s death.  “What parents would raise such barbarians to do such an evil thing to another human thing.?”  Perhaps that is the exact question that ran through all of our minds as we read about the beating death of this young man.  However, could a more pertinent question be, “Was it racially motivated?”  Was he targeted because of his skin color?  The woman who approached him for the selfie was of Serbian descent and reports state that she knew the men involved in the attack.  Could it have been a set-up right from the beginning?  Why did she go up to a total stranger for a selfie and why did she pick Bakari Henderson?  These are just unanswered questions that do need answers.

Coming back to the question of race, was Bakari Henderson a walking target because of his skin color?  If so, nothing could have prepared him for the “hate” he faced on that July night, a potent force so violent that the end result was the loss of a life.   This was certainly not because of one selfie with a stranger.

What animals will do this to another human being?  The kind that have no respect for human life.  The kind that refuses to see the human beneath the coating of skin color and the kind  that decided he deserved to die because of a selfie with a Serbian woman.  That is the sad reality folks.

Bakari Henderson was wrong in his assumption that it was safer in Europe than in the United States.  The under-current of racism, hate and violence  runs deep here just as it does elsewhere and from time to time it rears its ugly head when you least expect it like it did in that bar on the Greek island of Zakynthos.

A life lost but not forgotten.

Update: 

Justice was not served in this case.  The killers were initially tried on homicide charges in 2018 but none were found guilty of murder, instead they were convicted of lesser assault charges.  In 2022, a second trial took place and it lasted nearly three months and here again to no avail.  They were found not guilty of intentional homicide in a Greek courtroom.  The original convictions of intended fatal bodily harm was upheld.  One received a ten-year sentence, four received eight years each and another one received a five-year sentence.

How much is a Black man’s life worth?  Would the outcome have been different if the victim had been a White man?  What do you think?

A video showed the brutal attack in its entirety and it was perpetrated on an unharmed person.  I can only imagine the terror he must have felt on that fateful night.  If you ask me, I would have locked them up and thrown away the keys!  Or given them the same punishment they meted out on Bakari Henderson.  Inhumane?  Not really, the animal-like behavior that the killers showed another human being was and still is hard to stomach let alone to see them get away with lesser charges.  Unfortunately, we live in a world where “evil” has rights and innocent victims don’t and that is the shameful truth.

Integrity

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Integrity, a word that is supposed to be the mainstay of any relationship but these days it is sorely lacking in our society and your ‘word’ is no longer what it used to be. Ethical behavior and principles have been disregarded for individual gain and self-serving self-interests. This lack is eroding all that we stand for including honesty and loyalty. The current downward trend and erosion of something valuable has far-reaching consequences because moral compass is a thing of the past for some and “your word is your bond” is a non-entity as far as others are concerned.

What is integrity?

It is defined as, “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change.” In other words, say what you mean, and do what you say.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” C. S. Lewis

“Integrity is not something you show others. It is how you behave behind their back.” Unknown

“Integrity is making sure that the things you say and the things you do are in alignment.” Unknown

“Wisdom is knowing which road is the right one: Integrity is taking it.” Unknown

“When wealth is lost nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.” Unknown

“If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it.” Chinese Proverb

“You learn a lot about someone by what they choose to do when no one is watching.” Shane Parrish

“People with good intentions make promises but people with good character keep them.” Unknown

A lie is a lie.

A white lie is a lie.

A half truth is a lie.

A hidden truth is a lie.

A lie by omission is a lie.

A lie is a lie.

PERIOD!

You are not born with integrity, it is a learned behavior. It is knowing or getting into the habit of doing the right thing even when it is HARD and inconvenient at times but it is necessary because it gives people the moral and ethical clarity they need to do the right thing at the right time and a person of integrity stands by their word and is considered to be someone you can trust. That says it all.

Have an amazing day.