The Hard Things (Archives)

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Most of us cringe at the thought of doing the hard things. Be it a break-up, walking away, losing a job or letting go of things that no longer serve us, it is an exceptionally hard thing to do. It is not something we look forward to because it means taking the bull by the horns and waging war on what seems to be an impossible task at first. Given time, patience, perseverance and a hard-headed look at what needs to be done to get to the other side, we find it is doable but not easy.

Easy is not what life is about. If anything, easy is not in its vocabulary. It seems at times that “living” is about going through the hard stuff. Sometimes one and sometimes a string of unsolvable and often times impossible situations but you and I know that it is those hard times and how you deal with it that brings out the strength in us. Sure, it would be easier if we didn’t have to deal with them but when has that stopped life from throwing the hard stuff our way?

Where would we be without them? Probably having a great time without having to walk through the minefield of the hard stuff all equipped and designed to bring you down to your knees if you make a false move. There is no right or wrong way of going about it, it is trial and error and an undying resilience to take what is handed to you and to make it work for you. We’ve all made those false moves where we’ve crashed and burned and just when you think there is nothing left to do except to pick up the pieces and make the most of it, there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. There is that open door that beckons because as you know when one door closes another one opens but it is human nature or at least it is mine to look past it and back at the one that has closed and is no longer available.

“Hard things are hard because there are no easy answers or recipes. They are hard because your emotions are at odds with your logic. They are hard because you don’t know the answer and you cannot ask for help without showing weakness.” Ben Horowitz

The hard stuff has kept me captive for longer than I want to admit. Truth is, I don’t do “HARD” well. Holding on is my nemesis, letting go of things that no longer serve me is harder still and moving on, well that is an impossible task at times. I hold on hoping that changes will come my way but it never does. Things happen for a reason, people are the way they are because they are wired that way and looking and hoping is not going to change things. However, whatever life throws your way, there is a lesson in there somewhere but it is hard to see when it first hits you. I think we fail miserably at times because we walk in circles, bang our heads on that closed door and refuse to move on until we are drained of energy and there is nothing else to do but to walk through that open door. Human nature at its best? I think so.

We are fully capable and have the strength within to meet the hard stuff head on and to tame it if necessary. It is the fear of the unknown in sync with the weakness within that works hand-in-hand to stop us in our tracks, makes us tremble where we stand as we whisper, I CAN’T. You and I have had our baptism by fire in one form or another, of this I am sure. The hard thing is just one more obstacle to overcome, nothing more, nothing less. We tend to make it more than what it is. Life is a never-ending circle of challenges in the form of “hard things” to overcome. It is mixed in with the good stuff but it is the hard stuff that brings forth the real you. Your strength, your power and most of all your ability to slay it where it stands takes courage, growth and an attitude of never giving up which will put the “hard stuff” in its place. Who knows if shown the door more often than not, it might decide to stay away. We can hope can’t we?

“I see your fear, and it’s big. I also see your courage, and it’s bigger. We can do hard things.” Glennon Doyle

Have an amazing day.

My Tagline

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Oh I don’t know. “Embrace the Journey,” might be one since I’m on a journey of self-discovery. However, this one might be better. “Fear Less, Live More.”

I used to be fearless in my younger days but somewhere along the way fear took hold and never let go. The stalking incident that I talked about in another post and losing my mother to murder put a different spin on things. Suddenly, I was afraid and I started to find fear in the ordinary. I would look around the underground carpark like there was a monster hiding in every corner. Allowing strangers in the house became an unbearable thing. It took time but I am better now but the fear remains.

I know deep down inside that fear stops me from living my life fully. It keeps me safe but at a cost. So I would say that I need to work on my fear issues in order to live freely and to my fullest potential. Make sense? It makes sense to me and that is what matters.

Daily writing prompt
If humans had taglines, what would yours be?

A Sleepless Night

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“The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” Unknown

I came prepared. Meditation done, breathing exercises done, a hot cup of something soothing downed, had my shower, did my nightly beauty routine and with my favorite PJs on, I was ready for sleep when the phone rang. The voice on the other side said, “Don’t tell me you’re ready for bed already! It’s not even 9 o’clock!”

I yawned and he went, “Oh, you’re sleepy! Sleep well and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

I hung up to see Chachi, the cat, on his divan looking at me. He hates it when the phone rings. “WHO was that on the phone mommy?!!”

Turning off the lights, I prepared for a goodnight’s rest. My eyelids were heavy and I was ready. Expecting to be asleep in a matter of minutes, I waited for my mind to switch off. I waited and waited……then the tossing and turning began and the gale force strength winds outside didn’t help matters much either. Suddenly, thoughts, unwanted thoughts started appearing. They were rigged to go and I entertained each and every one of them as they appeared!

It was 2 a.m. and I was in the grips of insomnia land! Gritting my teeth, I turned on the TV but it was a big mistake. It was more fodder for an already overactive mind! I turned to my last resort. His eyes lit up as he saw me approaching. I picked him up and he curled instinctively as he cuddled closer, a soft purring filling the room. I felt myself relaxing and those unwanted thoughts flew out the window and to wherever they had came from. I was at peace again.

It was a short night but instead of my usual 8 hours, I got a couple of good hours of uninterrupted sleep with Chachi by my side. Morning came early and today will be a long one. I’m hoping that sleep will come without being coaxed into staying tonight. I can only hope.

The little guy in the fur coat is a “sleep inducer” amongst other things!

Have an amazing day.

This Thing Called Love (4)

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We sat across from each other, his gaze direct but hooded and mine trying not to look at the face I knew so well. He looked older, a touch of grey showing at his temples and there is a beard now where there was none before. He is still tall and lanky but a slight pouch is clearly visible. There was a certain sadness emanating from him but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

We talked about the one thing that still binds us. He says, “I’m so proud of him. He’s learning to handle things on his own.” I nod, silence filling the air. Something inside me wanted to scream, “You weren’t there half the time! I was left holding the bag when you took off in search of greener pastures.” Instead, I keep my gaze averted and try desperately to hold on to the strength within. The one I’ve been building brick by brick since he left and I wasn’t about to let his words bring it all down crushing into nothingness. He has that effect on me. Why wouldn’t he? I had been married to him and our life together had lasted 16 years. We had started out as best friends and later when love stepped in, it led to marriage and parenthood. Somewhere along the way, he decided to let it all disintegrate and go up in flames when his EGO decided to step in and he let “arrogance” do the rest.

Staring at me, he asked, “How are you doing?” his voice tinged with concern. And then he said, “I’m not a bad guy.” I felt the tears cloud my eyes but I scrambled to keep my calm facade in place like my life depended on it! I said softly, “I’m fine.” He nodded.

He didn’t know that I had called myself, “damaged goods” when it went down. He didn’t know that I had called myself a bird with clipped wings and that I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror for a long time and neither did he know that the unbearable pain had made me put my heart under lock and key and to throw away the keys! So “I’m fine” doesn’t even begin to address all that I went through.

We continued as two strangers making empty conversation. Once we had talked about everything. Our talks had been filled with warmth, love and laughter but that was a long time ago when “love” meant something and “hurt” was a long ways off.

He uncrossed his long legs looking uncomfortable. We had stopped giving each other the meaningless hugs each time we met. Then he had stopped saying, “I still care about you.” I couldn’t bear hearing it anymore. So it was better this way.

Today, it was all about the boy we had brought into this world. Recently, he has been showing more interest in being a good father and I am thankful. Suddenly, he stood up and stretched as if the stilted conversation between us had drained him. I said, “Take care of him.” He answered softly, “I will.”

I walked him to the door and stepping outside, the fresh air felt good. He turned and looked at me again, his eyes speaking volumes. Something within me wanted to jump over the fence I had placed around myself and to say, “Take care of yourself.” I felt this prickling of sympathy for someone who had lost his way and I wanted him to know, “It was going to be alright.” I couldn’t. Smiling a weak smile, I closed the door behind me.

This thing called love is something I will never understand for as long as I live. I know it has the tendency to turn your world upside down and to take you on a roller coaster ride but “ordinary” it is not. Sometimes it walks in silently and has you in its grip and at other times it dies a sudden death and you don’t know why. They say love makes the world go around, it does, but it is also a conundrum and sometimes it is better left alone but when has that stopped us from approaching it throwing caution to the winds. Some loves are forever, some loves are too hard to bear, some loves break your heart in pieces and some “loves” are better left alone.

Important Things for a Good Life

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“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” John Lubbock

I had to give this question much thought. Several things came to mind like money, love, safety and others but since I’ve been on this journey of self-discovery, I find that “peace” is at the top of my list. Not that the other things don’t matter, they do but peace is what I’m seeking and it equates to a good life, one that is well-lived.

Nature is my safe zone. Being out there in the fields has taught me many lessons and one of them is that life takes care of itself. Just like the seasons, each one has a time and place and it happens like clockwork and with very little help from the human hand. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that everything happens with no human help, I’m saying that the majority of the work is done by unseen hands.

The quiet space. It has become a daily ritual to search for that quiet space. A space where I can go within and to let my mind and the incessant chattering take a breather and then something else walks in. It is wisdom that I find in those quiet times. I spend a lot of time meditating and it has worked magic in my life. I am more in control of whatever comes my way and fully capable of dealing with whatever needs to be dealt with. So the quiet space is a must in my daily existence.

Workouts – these are an absolute must. I workout seven days a week and when I do take a day off, I feel guilty! I find that giving your body the attention it needs is a must to living a good life.

“Your body will be around a lot longer than that expensive handbag. Invest in yourself.” Unknown

I’ve mentioned some of the things I need to live a good life. Of course, there are many more but not as important as the ones I’ve mentioned.

Daily writing prompt
What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

LIMITLESS

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“There is one grand lie – that we are limited. The only limits we have are the limits we believe.” Wayne Dyer

Do you feel smaller than you are or have you made yourself to feel that way? Did one careless word, a disdainful look or one mean retort shrink you down to size? Did you believe those lies willingly? Often, we take those lies thrown in our direction and run with them and we come up with more lies. I am not worthy, I am not enough, I am not equipped to deal with whatever life throws my way and I just can’t! That last one is my mantra. I CAN’T!

YOU ARE LIMITLESS

“The most powerful words in the universe are the words you say to yourself.” Unknown

Be careful of what you say to yourself. Limiting beliefs are just that, they stop you from achieving or moving towards the goals you want to achieve. Words and phrases like, I’m not beautiful, I’m not good enough, I’m not intelligent enough and I’m not worthy enough but perhaps the most damaging is, “I don’t deserve it.” Limiting words stop us in our treks and they stop us from achieving our goals. Be careful of what you tell yourself because YOU ARE LISTENING! Let’s change the narrative and put a positive spin on things.

SAY:

I AM LIMITLESS AND I BELIEVE I AM!

“Your potential is limitless. You are unique, valuable, capable and worthy of the dreams in your heart. Most of all, you have what it takes to transform and transcend whatever challenges you face.” Marie Forleo

YOU, my friend, are limitless. There is a vast limitless potential within you. You have everything within you to soar as high as you want. You have the ability to climb the highest mountain and to make it to the very top. In order to get there, you have to change what you tell yourself because you are made of stronger stuff. YOU can fly if you want to. Change your mindset, do the work and the rest will fall in place.

YOU ARE LIMITLESS!

Have an amazing day.

Chachi, the Cat

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That’s who I spend most of my time with. He’s there from the moment I wake up and to the time I go to bed at night. You can say his world revolves around me and mine revolves around him!

He watches me with his green eyes and they don’t waver when he has his attention on me. Sometimes I wonder what is going on in his little head but that’s for him to know and for me to find out. It is love of a different kind and it is akin to that of parent and child. He is my baby in a fur coat and one from another mother. However, all of that doesn’t change how I feel about this little guy. I call him my buddy, my shadow, and my little love. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh and he makes me feel special.

Now, I just need to find a guy who makes me feel that way and my world would be complete! Alas, that is still a big ask and one I am waiting on to see how it all unfolds.

Daily writing prompt
Who do you spend the most time with?

Beyond Evil! (Update)

UPDATE:

Maxwell Anderson has been found guilty on all counts in the homicide of Sade Robinson. The jury deliberations lasted under an hour. Sentencing date is set for Aug. 15 at 10 a.m.

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There are some cases that make you sit up and take notice and this is one of them. The sheer brutality of the crime and the violence perpetuated on an innocent human being is beyond belief but there are monsters that walk the earth and here is one prime example.

Sade Robinson was 19, a criminal justice student and a beautiful girl enjoying being young and all that it entailed which included dating.

Maxwell Anderson was a 34-year-old bartender at the time with a lengthy criminal record which included domestic abuse, drunk driving, and disorderly conduct.

The two met and went on their first date on April 1, 2024. They first went to a restaurant, then to several bars, I lost count, and later to Anderson’s home. Video footage shows the young couple enjoying their time together and nothing seems out of the ordinary. However, in the early morning hours of April 2, 2024, her phone is located leaving Anderson’s home and traveling throughout Milwaukee County. Later that morning, her 2020 Honda Civic is found on fire and a male is seen exiting the vehicle before setting fire to it.

Around 5:30 p.m. the same day reports of someone finding a human leg belonging to a Black woman at Warnimont Park emerges. On April 4, 2024, Anderson is arrested and a search of his home reveals blood in one of the bedrooms and on the walls leading to the basement but it will later reveal that it didn’t belong to the victim. However, the true horror of the crime slowly unfolds. A human foot is found on April 6, 2024 in the city’s north side and it matches the leg found in Cudahy. Human flesh was also found in the area. Several body parts are found the following day. Robinson’s torso and arm are also discovered in another part of Milwaukee County but her head and neck have never been recovered.

The suspect is charged with first-degree intentional homicide, mutilating a corpse, hiding a corpse and arson in the death of Robinson. If found guilty, he faces life in prison. However, he has pleaded not guilty to all counts and is currently in jail on a $5 million bail.

The criminal trial began on May 27, 2025 and is currently underway. In a legal system, “a person accused of a crime is presumed innocent until the prosecution proves their guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.” It is hard not to jump the gun on this one because the evidence being presented is overwhelming and it points to one person and that is Maxwell Anderson as the sole perpetrator of this horrific crime. However, one other question arises. Was Anderson the sole perpetrator or were others involved in this horrific crime which insulted in the loss of life and in such a brutal fashion? Whatever happened that night, it was evil at work and there are no ifs ands or buts about it.

Monsters walk amongst us and sometimes they appear normal until they longer are.

REAL LOVE (Archives)

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“The difference between real love and fake love is this. Real love is so quick to resume its original shape after being stretched and expanded always to recover no matter what it endures.

Fake love is brittle, it breaks over even the simplest of things.”

If you are searching for love as I am, it is important to know the difference between the two. Real love takes time to cultivate, it’s not WHAM! BAM! and you’re in love. Some people may believe this is the case or rather they call it love at first sight. I had a few of those in my younger days but now that I’m older and wiser those butterflies in my stomach do not flutter like they used to.

These days I am a critic of the worst kind where love is concerned. If you thought Sherlock Holmes was good, I am better. I tell myself I am looking for true love, the kind that lasts a lifetime so playing detective to the hilt falls into the realm of weeding out the “fakes” to get at that one true love.

Fakes they are aplenty. They come out of the woodwork when you least expect it and in a blink of an eye, they’re in love and want to take it to the next level. The problem is if they winked at you once, they’ll wink twice at someone else. They’re prone to take it way past the winking stage if you know what I mean. They’ll love you so long as it is convenient for them but they’ll just as quickly run off to greener pastures when the opportunity presents itself. Dependable they are not and short-term is the name of the game. They’ll break your heart in a minute and move on without looking back and leave you to hold the remnants of your heart in your hands and you’re left wondering what happened. Don’t bother questioning why? Just know you want better.

The “real” ones don’t come out to play, well not often anyway. They’re the ones with integrity, self-worth, honesty and they stand their ground when it comes to love. They’re not wishy-washy but unfortunately there are not many of them to go around unlike the other kind, they’re a dime a dozen.

Needless to say, I’m holding out for “real” love. If it takes time, so be it. However, universe if you are listening, I ask that you bring him sooner than later, at least before the butterflies are totally dead in my stomach!

I’m not going to say I hope because according to a certain life coach this has a negative connotation and will bring more of the same. I’m going to say, I KNOW it will happen. Fingers crossed!

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Have an amazing day.

LOL!

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A man was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. “What was that for?” he asked. “That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,” she replied.

“Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on, I bought you those flowers with the winnings,” he explained. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I should have known there was a good explanation.”

Three days later he was watching TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with a frying pan, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, “What was that for?” His wife responded, “Your horse phoned.”

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Scientists recently reported on a research study indicating that beer contains traces of female hormones. To support their theory, they gave 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed their behavior. At the end of the study 100 percent of them talked nonsense and couldn’t drive.

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One morning a conservative business executive came to work wearing an earring in one ear. His coworkers were teasing him when one asked, “When did you start wearing an earring?” He replied, “Since my wife found this one in my car.”

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What do you call a man who has lost 95 percent of his brainpower?

A widower.

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What do marriage and tattoos have in common?

Both seemed like a good idea at the time.