letsgetitoutfront

Needle in a Haystack

Looking for the needle in a haystack is defined as “something that is almost impossible to find because it is hidden among so many other things,” or it could mean that you are very unlikely indeed to find it.

Someone once said to me that I choose to be alone. If I didn’t want to be alone, I would already be in a relationship. I disagree with this assumption. Choosing a partner needs to be a well-thought out, well-planned affair. Grabbing any guy who comes along is easy but that one elusive person, the one who fits the mold and the one who offers long-term is really hard to find. The needle in the haystack is elusive, impossible to find and at times the end goal is disappointing and yet I keep looking. Am I trying too hard? It has been said that when you go looking for something, you never find it but when you stop looking, there it is right before your eyes.

“If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don’t find it. If you don’t give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not – it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack.” P. G. Wodehouse

Perhaps there is some truth to this quote but alas Mr. Wodehouse, my problem is that I keep missing the haystack altogether! I want to zero in on that haystack where the needle is hidden but each haystack I find seems to be the wrong one and I walk past without exploring further. Picky? Definitely. I have this “perfect guy” image etched in my mind and that right there is the problem. He is in my mind and the others don’t measure up. At this rate, I don’t think I’m going to find him no matter how many frogs I kiss not that I’ve kissed that many. I walk off before the kiss happens and look towards the distance for the next Prince Charming to come riding in on his white horse but it never fails, they are missing one thing or another and sometimes they ride in with no horse at all!

How do you find that needle in the haystack?

The answer – “the way you find an actual needle in an actual haystack – is to burn the haystack to the ground. What you’ll be left with is the needle, because metal doesn’t burn.” Jennie Young

If that fails, “Needle in the haystack’s easy – just bring a magnet.” Keith DeCandido

Fine and good and even funny to an extent but that guy living rent-free in my head needs to materialize in front of me so that we can ride off into the sunset together. Please universe, if you are listening make it happen before the next frog rolls around with his lips puckered for that all elusive kiss!

The Journey

Edmund Hillary once said, “It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” There is much truth in that one statement. In order to conquer the mountain, metaphorically speaking, we have to conquer ourselves first.

More often than not, we place lines and boundaries around ourselves that stop us from moving forward, both knowingly and unknowingly. I have talked about the stories we tell in another article and it still stands true. The narratives we tell keeps us from achieving goals we set for ourselves. We say, “I can’t,” which is often the first response. What if we changed that narrative to, “I can.” Worth trying?

The thing I need to conquer first and foremost is fear. This four-letter word has kept me from achieving so much in my life. Whatever comes my way is usually DOA because fear steps in and tells me why I am incapable of doing something which might sound rational at the time but it is usually only in my head. The fear factor has kept me safe BUT it has also stopped me from experiencing life at its fullest. I know I need to break out of the well-insulated cocoon I am in and test the waters, or at least to get my feet wet. Not saying you should throw caution to the wind but talking about those small steps to conquer that mountain called life.

“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.” Judy Blume

Overcoming obstacles is next in line. My first reaction to any obstacle is to cringe and than I tend to shy away from it. Perhaps normal behavior in the grand scheme of things but it would be so much easier if I looked it, whatever it is, in the eye and made a conscious decision to break it down to what it really is. Most times, it is a wrinkle rather than a mountain that I in my innate human self make it out to be. I am learning but it takes time.

“Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them….they are able to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight.” Orison Swett Marden.

Acceptance is hard and most times I go through an almost impossible obstacle course of my own making before I can say, “It’s going to be alright. I have accepted the unchangeable and it is time to move on.” This step never comes easily and it takes time but that again is the intricate ways of life or simply of my own choosing. The important thing is that I am learning to accept and letting go instead of giving up and kow-towing and accepting defeat. I want to get to the top of the mountain with bells ringing and with my sanity intact! I still have a long ways to go but I am making progress.

“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it.” Michael J. Fox

However, there is no point in setting out on a journey when there are no clear cut goals because running around in circles is a waste of time and having the courage to know and accept what is needed to make that journey is the way to go. Start with yourself. Be strong enough to get rid of what is not needed, set your focus and start moving to the end goal. Light up your soul, eradicate the stumbling blocks of which there are many I am sure, move with purpose and look towards the path in front of you, one small step at a time. This is exactly what I plan to do.

“Aim for the sky, but move slowly, enjoying every step along the way, it is all those little steps that make the journey complete.” Unknown

Why Not Trump?

There are many reasons why “Orange Jesus” should not get within spitting distance of the White House again let alone take up the business of running the country from the bully pulpit.

At the top of the list of why Donald J. Trump should not be president of the United States is that the man believes that he is entitled to act with impunity and without any restrictions placed on him. He firmly believes that as the president of the United States, he is free to do whatever he likes and not be held ACCOUNTABLE for it. However, the truth of the matter is that the president is accountable to the Constitution, to the Congress and to the nation and that it is not a one-man show as he so believes.

Besides that, Trump has shown time and again that he is dishonest, a bully, manipulative, narcissistic and “crotch-grabbing” in his world is an added incentive to being rich and powerful and NOT a sign of disrespect to women. Add to that no remorse, no empathy, no conscience, no awareness of what is right and wrong and a full-blown ego that will not take a beating and you have a “monster” in the making. Why is he still in the running and made it this far? God only knows!

Lastly, citizen Trump is not very intelligent. We see this in his limited grasp of his vocabulary and the use of the English language. It is riddled with a few adjectives all speaking to the “ME” concept. It is ALL about him. Self-importance is his mainstay and add stupidity to that and you have a clown who knows not of what he speaks. Mind-boggling that he has made it this far.

The man will have substantial authority and power if he makes it to the White House again and that is a frightening prospect. If he makes it to the pinnacle of power, he will vent and throw his temper tantrums as he has done before and that is a given. He will not only be a danger to the country but to the people and the world as a whole. That folks is more than unsettling and downright dangerous.

The Perfect Storm?

Photo by Ralph W. lambrecht on Pexels.com

Terrence Bradley took the stand again on Tuesday but contrary to belief, he didn’t deliver much. The defense team gave it their all but they couldn’t break through the tough exterior that Mr. Bradley presented in court. They needed damning evidence to disqualify Fulton County DA Fani Willis and Special Prosecutor Nathan Wade from the case but none was forthcoming. It was more than a frustrating day for them.

What had started out as a storm in a teacup is now brewing into a full-blown tornado. Fani Willis and Nathan Wade had a romantic relationship there is no question about that. However, they are denying that Willis profited financially from hiring Wade to work on the Trump case. Star witness, Bradley, seemed to have lost all recollection of what he had said, what was conveyed to him to the point of even asking that the questions be repeated over and over again. Which begs the question, “Speak English Much?”

All the President’s Men and one woman, make that ex-president, could not bring their runaway horse to a standstill. Trump and his allies, a dozen of them, were charged with violating the Georgia state racketeering statute when they tried to overturn the 2020 election results in Georgia by advancing fake electors and going so far as to pressure state officials into reversing Trump’s defeat.

If DA Willis is disqualified and removed from the case, the prosecution of Trump and his allies would be thrown into limbo. The case would be handed over to a state entity called the Prosecuting Attorneys’ Council of Georgia to find someone to take over the case. It would be a complicated and complex not to mention time-consuming affair and that is exactly what the defense team is counting on. If only Mr. Bradley had given up the goods but no luck there.

Mr. Bradley not only came across as a reluctant witness but one who had developed amnesia all of a sudden. There was no budging him into saying what the defense team wanted to hear. “I was speculating and I never witnessed anything. It was speculation,” he said and his inability to confirm anything meant there was no new evidence to add to whether there was a conflict of interest on Willis part.

A brohaha if you ask me. There was nothing to substantiate the allegations that the power couple were involved romantically before Ms. Willis hired Mr. Wade and that was the whole point of getting Mr. Bradley to take the stand again. Looks like it backfired on them royally. Closing arguments will resume on Friday but don’t hold your breath!

A Nightmare in the Making

A nightmare is defined as “a very unpleasant or frightening experience or prospect.”

And the nightmare is getting real! Donald J. Trump has won South Carolina’s Republican primary beating Nikki Haley in her home state and it seems that a rematch between Trump and Joe Biden is inevitable. Trump for his part took the stage and declared, “You can celebrate for about 15 minutes but then we have to get back to work.”

“Orange Jesus” is a nightmare in the making and it seems that it will go on for quite sometime from the look of things. Mr. Trump seems to have an iron grip on the Republican Party not to mention his supporters and if that’s good or bad is besides the point. The fact is the man has 91 felony counts against him, add to that his incoherent babbling which makes you want to grit your teeth and the role he played in inciting the January 6 riot at the Capitol should be enough to stop him in his tracks but he is moving at high velocity towards to the White House and this should scare the bejesus out of anyone but only in America folks. He is looming large and hissing at the fringes and still there is no end in sight and that is scary to say the least.

The man with the unruly hair, the copious orange tan and with his stupidity in tow is heading into Super Tuesday on March 5 with the confidence of a bull in a China shop as if he has already won the race. If he loses, he will throw his temper tantrum, cry foul and maybe even demand a recount. He’s the same 5-year-old in a grown man’s body. Nothing has changed there. When he doesn’t get his way, he will stick his thumb in his mouth, stand on his head and scream bloody murder for all to hear.

Ron Kaufman, a Republican presidential strategist had this to say:

“There isn’t anyone who doesn’t perceive Trump as being the nominee, including Nikki Haley. Whether you like it or don’t like it, everyone understands he is the perceived nominee.”

That right there ladies and gentlemen is the stuff nightmares are made of!

“They said all dreams come true, they forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams too.” Unknown

LOL!

It has been said that laughter is good for you. According to the MayoClinic people, it can: “Stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain. Activate and relieve your stress response.”

That said, it lifts up your face, puts a happy smile on your whole being and on days like today when nothing much is happening and it is cloudy and windy outside, it helps to bump up your mood.

Here are some quotes to get you laughing and put a smile on your face as it did on mine.

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” Woman’s Day

*************************************************************

“My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.” Unknown

By the way I feel like that all the time!

*************************************************************

“Life is not a fairytale, if you lose your shoe at midnight, YOU’RE DRUNK.” Unknown

Probably from some poor girl who didn’t get her guy!

*************************************************************

“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!: Charlie Brown

Yup that’s me right there!

*************************************************************

Dear life, when I said, “can my day get any worse It was a rhetorical question not a challenge.” Unknown

*************************************************************

“The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.” Sophie Monroe

*************************************************************

“I am yours, no refunds.” Unknown

This one is scary! You mean I can’t return you and get a better model?!!

*************************************************************

“Love is a lot like gas, if you have to force it, it’s probably sh**!” Stephen K. Amos

And with that, have a great day.

E Pluribus Unum

I listened to the New Hampshire speech that Vivek Ramaswamy delivered with such fury and passion and it was riveting to say the least. Especially the part about “E Pluribus Unum” which means “Out of Many One.” It was a battle cry none the less and one that was meant to capture our attention and it did. Donald Trump stood behind him grinning from ear to ear probably thinking, “We’ve got this brother!” as rumors of a potential Veep position for the skinny man with a big voice went cascading everywhere.

It was a grand speech but who is this man with the big voice and hand movements resembling that of Trump? He’s the one who ended his presidential campaign after a disappointing result in Iowa’s Republican caucuses and quickly jumped on the band wagon, the Trump band wagon that is. He now seems to be vying for VP spot and from the looks of it his pandering to Trump and calling him Commander-in-Chief might just do the trick.

Flattery will get you everywhere and if that is the case than Vivek has it in the pocket folks. When asked if Trump was considering the former biotech executive as his pick for VP by right-wing talk show host, Glen Beck, Trump had this say:

“Well, I think he’s great. Look, anybody that says I’m the best president in a generation….I have to like a guy like that. I can’t get upset with him….I think he’s very good. I think he’s really distinguished himself.”

Does that mean a “yes” in Trump fashion?

Then he went on to say, “He’s starting to get out there a little bit, he’s getting a little bit controversial. I got to tell him: ‘Be a little bit careful. Some things you have to hold in just a little bit, right?’

Right, this bit of advice coming from the man who is in the habit of opening his mouth and sticking his foot in it. However, Vivek went on to say:

“We believe in the rule of law,” and he said it with such conviction with the man who is known for breaking every rule in the book as far as election integrity goes and much more standing behind him. Citizen Trump is facing 91 felony counts after being indicted four times within the last year. Way to go Vivek, hide your head in the sand why don’t you?

It was a fiery speech but he sounded like a numero uno salesman selling something he didn’t believe in. He raised his voice at intervals and it was impressive but his message was clear, “We need a Commander-in-Chief who will lead us to victory in the war.” How does that phrase go, “Not for all the tea in China?”

In his Third presidential debate, then presidential hopeful, Vivek Ramaswamy, had this to say, “What I would tell Bibi is that Israel has the right and the responsibility to defend itself. I would tell him to smoke those terrorists on his southern border and I will be smoking the terrorists on our southern border.”

They would make a good pairing as President and Veep but it would be more like, “E Pluribus Anus,” than the other way around!

DA Fani Willis Dilemma

Fulton County District Attorney, Fani Willis brought her indictment charges against former President Trump and it went like this:

“Defendant Donald John Trump lost the United States presidential election held on November 3, 2020. One of the states he lost was Georgia. Trump and the other Defendants charged in this indictment refused to accept that Trump lost, and they knowingly and willfully joined a conspiracy to unlawfully change the outcome of the election in favor of Trump.” Furthermore, “That conspiracy contained a common plan and purpose to commit two or more acts of racketeering activity in Fulton County, Georgia, elsewhere in the State of Georgia, and in other states.”

The 41-count indictment involved Trump and 18 others which included such big names as Rudy Giuliani, Mark Meadows, Sidney Powell, Jeffrey Clark and John Eastman. The indictment also charges Trump and his co-conspirators with conspiring to commit election fraud. The crux of the matter lies on two presumptions. First, the indictment rests on state law charges which means Trump can do little little to derail it even if he were to return to the White House because clemency power does not extend to state offences.

Secondly, if the trial is televised and it probably will be because Georgia law allows cameras in the courtroom, citizen Trump will be front and center and on full display. This might not be to his advantage as “Orange Jesus” is known for opening his mouth and inserting his foot in it.

It was looking like a slam dunk case for all purposes if it wasn’t for Fani Willis doing the unthinkable. She is accused of having a romantic relationship with special prosecutor, Nathan Wade, a member of her team which brings about ethical misconduct on her part and may be enough to derail the case and have her removed from the State’s election interference case. Trump and his allies, co-defendants, are claiming that the relationship is a conflict of interest and Willis should be removed from the case and that the case is also politically motivated.

If that isn’t a right royal mess for Ms. Willis, her combative nature on the witness stand and her bombastic testimony with her screaming, “I’m not on trial here!” got our attention, that along with, “When I travel, I always pay cash,” testimony. There were almost no receipts to show for money changing hands and that in itself is a dilemma my lady.

Barbara McQuade, a former U.S. attorney had this to say:

“Fani Willis made a terrible decision to date Nathan Wade, and that may bring ethics issues for her, but her testimony dispelled any kickback scheme that would disqualify her. Nothing about this effects the fair trial right of Trump and co-defendants.”

However, Doug Weinstein, a Georgia lawyer wrote, “I respect her and her office, and putting the Trump trial at risk in this fashion, even if she did nothing wrong, demonstrates poor judgement.”

It seems Ms. Willis has got herself in a pickle this time, perhaps she should take this phrase to heart, “Never eat where you sh**,” and things might just work out better for her the next time around.

The Cinderella Effect

A friend sent this a few days ago and it got me thinking.

“If life doesn’t feel like a fairytale,

If every beautiful sentence seems like ridiculous madness to you…..

Take your existence by the hand,

Be the artist of your own future,

Don’t wait for toads to turn into princes, or pumpkins into carriages,

Remember that everything that was conquered with effort, smells of joy that knows no limits,

Be your own fairytale.” Unknown

I would love to take that last line to heart but fairytales are made of fairy dust and all things nice. The guy gets the girl, a pair of glass slippers has the power to snare a prince and a fairy godmother who orchestrates the whole shebang! How far from the truth can it be? These days things just don’t work that way. I am not sure if it did work that way in Fairytale Land but make-believe is just that, you can work magic into anything and parade it as the truth and have people swallow it lock, stock and barrel!

These days you pick someone out of a dating site, whichever it might be. Then begins the excruciating task of deciding if it’s a “yes” a “no” or it lands in the maybe pile. It all boils down to as the saying goes from the Frog Prince, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince.” Not appetizing is it? And even then, you might just walk away with nothing to show for it and that is the reality of it.

Life is not a fairytale. The girl doesn’t always get the guy in the end and there is no walking off into the sunset and happily ever after either. More often not the shoe doesn’t fit and heartbreak follows in its wake. I could go on and on but I am going to stop right here and lighten the mood a little. I hope these quotes help to keep you company as we go through life searching for that needle in the haystack.

“Someday my Prince Charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.”

That hasn’t changed much, you know what I am talking about if you’ve ever been in a car with a guy and he refuses to admit that he’s lost. Nothing new there.

I love this next one from Ms. Oprah Winfrey.

“Mr. Right’s coming, but he’s in Africa, and he’s walking.”

Ms. Carrie Bradshaw had a lot to say on this topic.

And just like that:

“A relationship is like couture. If it doesn’t fit perfectly, it’s a disaster.”

The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

“Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want and just see what happens.”

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a girl will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

Don’t despair. As the Fairy Godmother said:

“Even miracles take a little time.”

If all else fails,

Ladies,

Please stop wasting your time looking for Mr. Right.

Just find Mr. Left and drag that sucker to the right!

Keep Going

The path ahead is unclear. It is scary. It is often filled with obstacles that we have to cross to make it up that mountain. We find ourselves on our way and then we take a tumble and we find ourselves not back to square one but somewhere in between and that is where I am now.

The weekend was filled with uncertainties and all my good intentions seemed to have flown out the window. I thought I was doing so well only to find that being on my way, moving on from the here and now is a long process. It doesn’t happen overnight and neither does it happen in a few days, a few weeks or a few months. It is an ongoing process which involves falling, picking yourself back up and having the courage to say, “Here I go again!”

“When you walk in the fire, you start becoming fireproof.” Hiral Nagada

I spent the weekend looking for excuses as to why I CAN’T do this and that is often the case with me. It is easier to look for excuses than to move on. Fear is another factor that plays into my inner being and that little voice within, the one that acts like a little kid keeps tugging and says you are not capable of making it to the other side. However, there is this other voice that refuses to give up and if given the chance, it will become a deafening roar that pushes me to my limits and lets me know that there is strength, unbeatable strength within and all I need to do is stand back up and start moving. Just remember that it will get worse before it gets better it says and that is the truth.

It takes time, it takes effort and it takes hard work to get to the top of the mountain and there will be times when I will take a fall and land where I don’t want to be, lost in my own excuses of why I can’t move on. Acknowledge but don’t get too comfortable where you are. It is no man’s land and you want better so stand back up and look towards that open door and go through it because failure is not an option.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” Mary Ann Radmacher

Also remember that failure is a choice, standing still is not an option and walking away from things that keep you from achieving your goals is the right thing to do no matter how painful it is. Let go of things that don’t serve you and make the commitment to keep going and you will arrive at where you need to be. My mission for this week is to keep moving, one step at a time and to keep going.

“No matter how bad things are right now.

No matter how stuck you feel,

No matter how many days you’ve spent wishing things were different,

No matter how hopeless and depressed you feel,

I promise you won’t feel this way forever.” Unknown

Here’s a story of hope. Last year, I uprooted a peony bush because it was growing too close to a fence and its growth was being stunted. I decided to move it to a smaller area where I thought it would thrive. There was a risk that it might not survive the process at all. All through winter, it looked like it had died. A week ago, I noticed that it was sprouting! Today, when I walked out the front door I noticed that new leaves were forming and it was budding and there were five buds on this tiny plant. Perhaps, it is a lesson from nature that even in the deepest darkest of times when we think all is lost, life is working its magic to show us that patience wins out and “better” is on its way. If all else fails, remember that it is not Amazon Prime, the delivery doesn’t happen in one or two days!

IT TAKES TIME.