forgiveness – Site Title

The Grudge

“Life is too short for long-term grudges.” Elon Musk

He’s right there but holding “grudges” as humans seems to be normal if not a necessary practice at times. Holding a grudge against someone who did you wrong is sometimes the only form of hitting back or getting some form of satisfaction for all the pain they had put you through. Even if it is invisible to the person you are aiming the grudge at, nevertheless, it feels good to have that weapon an imaginary one that seethes within you and sometimes burns a hole in your soul.

Been there, done that. I’m only human after all and I’m no saint. I know I’ve held a “grudge fest” against my ex for a long time. How dare he walk off into the sunset and leave me to deal with the aftermath after causing the wreckage he did? That right there was my reasoning for holding onto the grudge. It took a long time to learn that grudges weigh you down, there is a certain heaviness that you carry around but more importantly, you do not move on or move forward with a grudge or two hanging around your neck.

“Holding on to anger is like holding on to an anchor and jumping into the sea. If you don’t let it go, you’ll drown.” Unknown

This applies to grudges as well. Learning to let go takes time, doing the forgiveness thing even more so. I still haven’t forgiven him but I have learned to let go of the bitterness. I don’t feel that sour taste in my mouth each time he shows up here. That in itself is progress. I also believe in karma and I know that what you put out there comes back to you eventually. Is that like holding a grudge? Maybe, but it is the best I can do for now.

Daily writing prompt

Are you holding a grudge? About?

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Make Peace & Move On

Photo by Nicolas Postiglioni on Pexels.com

Making peace is necessary because it is a step in the right direction, that of moving on. It involves five steps to resolve a difficult situation and or experience.

You first have to acknowledge and confront your feelings.

Next, you have to understand why those feelings exist and how they are affecting you. This involves reaching in the past to see how it is affecting your present.

Forgiveness is next. This is hard to do. Sometimes it is impossible to forgive but if you’re up to it, forgive yourself and others for their part in causing you distress. Easier said than done I know.

Then comes letting go. This part is not easy either but it needs to be done to move forward. Release negative emotions and leave it behind you and don’t keep looking back at that closed door.

The final part is moving forward. You’ll have to find a way to live with what you’ve experienced without letting it dominate your life.

Making peace is a journey just like moving on is. You’ll have to take it one day at a time and be ready to stand back up if you take a fall which will happen. Sometimes it takes several falls before you find your way again.

Here are some quotes to help you on your way.

“One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.” Brigitte Nicole

“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“Closure happens right after you accept that letting go and moving on is more important than projecting a fantasy of how the relationship could have been.” Unknown

“If you don’t make peace with your past, it will keep showing up in your present.” Wayne Dyer

This is so true.

“Making peace with your past means:

Grieving the version of yourself who made different choices, lived with different perspectives, and walked a different path.” Unknown

MOVING ON…….

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened ….or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.” Tupac Shakur

Beautifully said.

Have an amazing day.

Heart Break

“Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don’t.” Stephen King

Standing before me, he looked tall and lean, his face showing concern and looking a little older, the grey showing at his temples as he said, “You’ve got to learn to forgive. Sometimes bad things happen and YOU just need to forgive, forget and move on.”

I watched him, my face showing nothing. This was the man who had once meant the world to me. He had never once apologized for his hand in the heart break he had caused me. The damage was done and he had simply walked away like I was yesterday’s news.

There are no more tears to cry, no more gut-wrenching pain and no more feelings of any kind. I was done and his empty words held just that, NOTHING of any kind. He moved towards me but I took a step back. A long time ago, I had run into his arms so willingly but that was back then when we were in love and the world was a much better place.

We are two strangers now. Our history together a thing of the past, the love we had shared written somewhere in the stars for all eternity and the heart he had so carelessly and so willingly broken had learned to heal but it will never forget the crumbling, the breaking and the realization that this same man I had once loved was capable of wielding such pain.

Love hurts and heart break is painful. Hearts break all the time, it is nothing new. “I’m sorry” sometimes takes a long time coming and in some cases it never does. However, those words don’t have the power to erase the pain and neither do they take away the hurt you carry in your heart. Perhaps, the words are just a defense mechanism men use to shield themselves from their wrong doing and to walk away with their guilty conscience intact. Whatever the case maybe, sorry doesn’t cut it. It is so lacking in every aspect but I don’t know what else can make up for it.

We stood watching each other, his eyes hiding secrets and mine devoid of feeling. It was awkward to say the least. Yet my heart screamed, “You know him well don’t you? You had loved him with all of your heart once a long time ago.”

The truth is he had loved me too. He had called me his soulmate and the love of his life but somewhere along the way, he became someone else. When that someone new walked in, he took off running and left me holding a bag of broken dreams and a shattered heart broken beyond repair.

Today, there are no more tears, no anger, no despair, no nothing. I watched as he walked out the door and as I closed the door behind me, I realized that the heartbreak had changed me. I had grown stronger. I had learned to put my broken heart back together again piece by piece. The cracks still show but I guess they always will as a reminder of the pain I had gone through. Forgiveness? It will take a long time coming. I hope one day I can say the words he wants to hear. “I forgive you.” Not yet, it is going to take time and that is alright too.

“People think that the most painful thing in life is losing the one you value.

The truth is, the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of valuing someone too much and forgetting that you are special too.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.