February 2025 – Page 2

BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND (Archives)

“Best Friends (circa 1910) Fred” by Museum of New Zealand/ CC0 1.0

“When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.” Mandy Hale

How often have you looked to others for validation, to lift you up, to make you feel important, to give their approval and to make you feel loved? I know I have and found myself wallowing in self-pity or even questioning “me” as a person. I am learning that loving yourself comes first. YOU are important, what you tell yourself is important. Be kind and gentle here because the way you talk to yourself is important. Work on yourself, it is the key element to get you out of the rut. What rut? The stuck in the mud rut. Your goal is to get you moving to a better life and to feel comfortable with yourself.

Invest in Yourself

This may sound like a new concept because we spend a lot of our energy and money investing in materialistic things but in our rush to please ourselves, we forget the all-important person who is left wanting. Invest in time spent with yourself, this doesn’t take much but dedication. A walk in nature to nurture your soul, meditation to look inwards and find peace, working out to bolster your health or even spend time talking to yourself. If you have the means, pamper yourself. Go for a massage, get a facial, get a manicure or pedicure and no, it doesn’t mean you are vain. It just means you are putting yourself first and showing love to the person who matters the most and that is YOU.

Invest in your Environment

Your home is your castle? Work to make it that way. Spruce up your garden, plant flowers that give you joy when they bloom and fill your space with color. Redo your living area and or your bedroom and add things to make you feel comfortable. Make it a place you love spending time in and love coming back to but most of all, a place where you can relax and pamper your soul.

Get Rid of the Unwanted

This is hard. If you want to be your own best friend, you need to make space for the important things. Get rid of the things that bog you down, the people who make you question who you are because they are in a bad place in their lives. If their only goal in life is to bring you down to their level of despair, let them go! Sometimes getting rid of the unwanted makes room for what is needed. New friends, love, laughter, joy and peace.

Say this to yourself and mean it.

“You are hands down, my favorite person.” Unknown

Being your own best friend takes time as it is with everything that matters. Be forgiving, speak softly and lovingly to yourself, encourage yourself, love yourself and work towards looking in the mirror and loving the person staring back at you. Be your own validation and life will get easier.

How to be your own best friend:

“Look in the mirror and give yourself a high-five.

Ask yourself often, “how are you feeling?”

Cry when you need to.

Give yourself a hug.

Forgive yourself for going back to old patterns and behaviors.

Encourage yourself with words you would use to encourage a friend.” Unknown

Good luck and I am on the self-same journey.

Have an amazing day.

Cuss and Slur Words

Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

Sometimes we need that duct tape over our mouths! There is not just one word but several that I would like to see permanently eradicated from usage simply because they do not add but detract from the English language as a whole.

Their use is easy to those who have a limited vocabulary and to those who think some of those words are “power words.” I detest the “F” word. Listening to someone using this word like confetti strewn throughout a sentence makes my skin crawl. I grew up in a household where cuss words, swear words and racial slurs were not allowed and if caught using them, there was hell to pay. A younger brother rebelled against such restrictions and the “F” word became his favorite word to get his disgust, anger or whatever else he was trying to get across. I heard him using it one day and told on him! Yes I was a tattle-tale but it was for his own good. Dad read him the riot act after hearing about it and we didn’t talk for a long time after. He did forgive me at a later point in time and I never heard him use it again or maybe not just around me!

If I have to cuss or use a swear word, I SPELL it out. It seems to take the sting out of it or so I think! A former boyfriend asked me, “Why can’t you just say the “F” word and be done with it?” My answer, “I can’t!” Fortunately, there are not many occasions where I’ve had to resort to such words and I can count them on one hand! Coming back to cuss words, George Washington once said:

“The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it.”

However, Mel Brooks had this to say: “I’ve been accused of vulgarity. I say that’s bulls**t.”

Two sides of the coin right there. I think eradicating such words especially of the hurtful nature such as racial slurs is a must but I can wish and hope and stand on my head and turn blue in the face but change will be a long time coming if ever!

Daily writing prompt

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

View all responses

LOL! (6)

It’s Monday and time for a laugh to get the new week started!

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

Computer Gender….

A man who was previously a sailor, was very aware that ships are addressed as “she” and “her.” He often wondered what gender computers should be addressed. To answer that question, he set up two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised of women, and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the masculine gender. They were asked to give 4 reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women reported that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.

The men on the other hand concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:

No one but the Creator understands the internal logic.

The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Hmm….

Good one but incase you’re wondering computers are gender neutral.

Inner Peace

A friend asked me recently, “What do you seek the most?” I couldn’t give him an answer right away. It was a troubling question to say the least. I thought I knew because I had been working on exactly this for months on end but now faced with a direct question and I had no answers or rather I was unsure. I wanted to say “love” but the word that jumped in was “peace.” More specifically, “inner peace.” I think without it nothing else matters. It all boils down to just living for the sake of living.

What is inner peace? According to http://www.calm.com, “Inner peace is a deep state of calm, acceptance and contentment. It means being in harmony with yourself, others, and the world around you. It’s not about eliminating challenges or difficulties but navigating through them with a tranquil and accepting mind.”

Do I have that kind of peace in my life? Truthfully, I’m not sure. I have a tendency to let things rattle me, unnerve me, shake me to the core and kick me off balance. I know I have stress and that is nothing new. Dealing with stress has always been an uphill battle but I’m doing better. However, I still have a long ways to go. The question then arose, how do I go about securing inner peace? The kind that gives me a deep state of calm and paints my world a beautiful shade of pink? The quote below might work.

“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” Pema Chodron

Sounds simple enough but let me tell you, it’s a hard one for me. I let people control my feelings, emotions and my reactions and that is the first problem. I needed simpler solutions to a tough question so I decided to go looking and turns out I’ve been doing them already!

Breathe it says. Take time out in the day to just breathe and let go. I’m learning all kinds of breathing techniques and it is not just about taking a breath in and expelling it out. The experts have honed breathing to a new high. Breathing has gone high-tech but the original version still works. Try it for a slice of good old-fashioned peace.

Mindfulness is the other technique used to achieve inner peace. Live in the present, embrace it, let it unfold and do not control. Life knows exactly what to do. A really hard one for me as I wanted the answers yesterday!

Meditation is a gold mine and don’t I know it. My early morning and evening meditation practices have worked wonders in my life. I’m calmer, my reaction to unwanted challenges is slower and my mind seems quieter than it used to be. Worth a try if tranquil peace is what you’re searching for. It takes practice to calm that fidgety mind but time and patience will get you there. There is a plus, there is nothing more delicious than unadulterated inner peace.

Nature, connect with it and it will instill peace to the depths of your soul. Something as simple as a walk will take you there. Fresh air and nature’s beauty will clear your mind and you will get a different perspective on life looking at it through nature’s viewpoint. Everything has a time and place, do not rush that is the message.

Practicing gratefulness is a big one. I’ve started practicing this simple concept and my glass went from half empty to actually quite full. Do it often enough and you won’t be lacking anything at all! Too simple? I know. Given time this technique does work because it changes your mindset from negative to a more positive one and we all need that.

If none of the above methods work, do this instead.

“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.” Robert J. Sawyer

Ever since that question was thrown in my direction, I’ve been thinking about the mindset for inner peace and I have come to the conclusion that all roads lead to “inner peace” first. If you want to have a life free from chaos, disarray and turmoil, work towards inner peace and all the other things will fall into place. Challenges are a part of life both big, small and the daily variety but you can overcome if you focus, work on clearing it and MOVE ON! Standing still in one place for too long would be a big mistake. The Gambler song gives us some tips on how to do exactly that.

If you’re gonna play the game, boy

You gotta learn to play it right.

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run….

Every gambler knows

That the secret to survivin’

Is knowing what to to throw away

And knowin’ what to keep

Those last three lines speak to the matter of inner peace.

Figure it out, have confidence in yourself and HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

Six Months Challenge

I want to say keeping my sanity intact! Just kidding or maybe NOT. Let’s see this question requires thinking ahead and not a day ahead but six months in the future and that is a challenge in itself!

This year is going to be a challenge because I have certain goals I want to achieve. I’m a stickler for the rules and even though they are rules of my own making I try to keep to them even if it means drowning in the process! Just kidding.

One challenge is to keep away from MEN! We’re into month two and I’m doing fine with this challenge. I need to find out what I want out of life, who I want to be with and change certain mindsets about me which will stop me from going down the same paths over and over again. I did that last year and it didn’t work out well so this year the challenge is to go it alone until I am good and ready to put myself out there again. It may never happen and that is a challenge right there but who knows, I don’t need to rush into relationships simply because someone says so or rush into something I am not ready for.

I realize that when you close the door and go within, when you are not looking that’s when the menfolk come out in droves! It’s as if they view you as a challenge, one that needs to be broken. Go figure! I say good luck because I’m not just a stickler for rules but I’ve got willpower oozing out my pores even if it smells like cheesecake sometimes referring to my cheesecake fetish of course!

That’s my six months challenge in a nutshell.

Daily writing prompt

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

View all responses

LIAR-IN-CHIEF!

According to Wikipedia, “Donald Trump has made tens of thousands of false or misleading claims, including during his first and second terms as President of the United States.”

Let’s take a look at some of them:

He claimed that Hamas got $50 million dollars for condoms and then he inflated it to $100 million dollars!

Recently he blamed Ukraine for starting the war in Ukraine! Facts don’t matter as far as the 47th president is concerned.

When asked why he pardoned the January 6th rioters who assaulted first responders, his answer was, “they were assaulted by our government and they didn’t assault.” Yes, a criminal would say that wouldn’t he?

His most famous lie and one he will never give up is this one. It’s about his defeat in the free and fair elections of 2020. “It was rigged!” It’s not about “winning.” The truth is he can’t stand losing! Unfortunately or fortunately, he’s heading in that direction.

The next lie blew everyone’s socks off except his. “Zelensky is a dictator without elections.” Truth is, elections in Ukraine have been suspended since February 2022 and we know why don’t we? The man who claims to be a “genius” and one who has lots of “commonsense” should have known that shouldn’t he?

Just some of his blatant lies and there are too many to put down here. According to one source, Trump made over 30,573 false or misleading claims during his first term. What do you think? Will he blow that record to “kingdom come” during his second term?

He’s well on his way and the problem is he doesn’t care if they’re lies or truths, if they hurt and destroy or if what he says has consequences. It’s all about him and the “me” concept which is front and center every time he opens his mouth and inserts both feet in!

Mandy Hale Quotes

Mandy Hale is a blogger turned New York Times bestselling author and speaker but what captures your attention as far as her quotes are concerned is her ability to connect to the heart of the matter. She is “inspirational, straight-talking. witty” and she empowers women around the world with her quotes. Here are some of my favorites for you to enjoy.

“The only keeper of your happiness is you. Stop giving people the power to control your smile, your worth and your attitude.”

“There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.”

“The key to happiness is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be.”

“Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path.”

“To make a difference in someone’s life you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect, you just have to care.”

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”

It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it.”

“Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is BRAVE, even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.”

“Don’t sacrifice your peace trying to point out someone’s true colors, lack of character always reveals itself in the end.”

“There is no model, no actress, no Miss America contender that can outshine a happy, confident, secure woman.”

“The real character of a person is revealed not in how they begin a relationship, but how they end one.”

The next one is where I’m at and it’s hard trusting and believing that “better” is on the way but I’m going to take that chance.

“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.”

Pay attention to this one. There is a whole world of truth in that one quote.

“The right man for you will move mountains to be with you, he won’t hide behind them.”

Lastly,

YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Have an amazing day.

PEACE (Archives)

It is Sunday, a day of rest and rejuvenation from a week of stresses and unrest. I woke up with good intentions this morning. Finding peace is my goal for today, more precisely, inner peace that is.

“It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” Unknown

And this is exactly the problem. Chaos and noise shatters my idea of peace. My mind is like rush hour 24/7 and when I find the time to gather inner peace, it has taken flight and I am left with unrest, anxiety and an inability to calm down no matter how hard I try. Sleepless nights follow and I wake up to another day of more of the same.

Now I am arming myself with what is needed to stop the constant chatter within my mind. I liken it to a monkey jumping around with no real goal in sight. Recently, I started the age-old practice of meditation. Five minutes was too much at first. I felt my whole body rebelling against this new concept that was trying to break into what it was accustomed to and that is total and utter chaos! After a while of consistently practicing this method of inner peace, I could feel my body say, “Come on in. I like you!” Slowly I progressed to 10 minutes and now I am doing 40 minutes a day. Unbelievable but the benefits are seen and felt and I am sleeping better.

7 Benefits of Meditation

Calms the nervous system

Decreases brain fog

Enhances memory

Boosts attention and focus

Slows down aging (this one I like a lot!)

Improves sleep

Regulates mood.

Sukhasana

What’s not to like right? Furthermore, it doesn’t cost a thing. Just a quiet space, focus and take off and in time, the “inner monkey” is tamed and he or she takes a step back and lets the calm and peace take hold, and you my friend will be headed to nirvana. Well, it is not that easy, mind you. It takes time and YOU wanting peace above all else.

Deep breathing is another easy tried and true method of shutting out the world, of going inside yourself and within minutes or to a count of ten breaths and there it is, instant peace and relaxation. The benefits are plenty.

It helps to:

lower blood pressure and heart rate, reduces stress hormones in the blood, balances levels of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the blood, improves your immune system functions, increases physical energy and it increases calm and well-being.

There you go. Another fast and easy way to get to that goal of inner peace. However, the human mind tends to retaliate because we don’t want easy do we? We moan, cry, throw tantrums and refuse to take the bull by the horn and say, “Look you, I am no longer putting up with you (stress, anxiety) ravaging my body. It’s time for you to get going!”

Simplify your life. We complicate with so many unwanted things that cause tremendous stress. Relationships that tear us down instead of build us up. Quite often we hide behind a curtain of insecurities that it is hard to see the path ahead. Bravery and courage is needed to tear down that invisible curtain. Get rid of the things that are weighing you down and you know what they are if you are honest with yourself. Finally, free your mind so that peace and tranquility can reign supreme and that folks is my goal for today. If I make it that is to be seen. Fingers crossed but I am going to do more than that to achieve my zen-like state of mind.

“Peace is a day-to-day problem, the product of a multitude of events and judgments. Peace is not an ‘is,’ it is a ‘becoming.” Haile Selassie

“Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures.” John F. Kennedy

“But achieving a sense of inner peace is real. It’s out there. You just have to be willing to walk past the darkness, and even past the light, to find it.” Hannah Hart

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” Dalai Lama

This one is important because we do allow people to influence our moods and how it affects our inner being. If they lie, treat you badly or take you for granted, DO NOT let the after-effects seep in and gnaw at your insides. Let it go…..easier said than done I know.

I wish you PEACE.

Have an amazing Sunday!

An Important Piece of Advice

I was fearless running around like a wild child during my younger days. It all changed when I hit sixteen or so and life changed. I became fearful and I don’t know what happened. The young girl who was fearless suddenly found herself being fearful of life and the unknown.

I took to my bedroom and did some armchair traveling through my books. It was my safe zone from the outside world. Reading was my way of being out there without having to venture out if you know what I mean. Writing gave me an outlet from the fear and I was able to put my feelings down on paper and that helped too

When I turned 18 I came out of the cocoon that I had built around myself but “fear” would be an integral part of my life. It kept me from experiencing life to its fullest but it also kept me away from danger.

My advice to my teenage self would be to give “fear” a boot out the door! Take life by the horns and go for it. Fear is an emotion that has a tendency to destroy and it stops you in your tracks. Even though it is a protective mechanism, too much of it is destructive. Learn to overcome FEAR would be my advice to my teenage self.

Daily writing prompt

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

View all responses

Heroes Deserve Better (Archives)

In Memory of Someone Very Special.

“Being a soldier is more than courage, it’s sacrificing yourself for something greater than yourself.” Unknown

A hero is defined as “a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.” Soldiers are heroes in every sense of the word. They risk their lives to keep us safe. They fight against those who want to take away our freedoms and rights, many lose their lives in the process and some come home injured beyond repair both physically and mentality. These men and women are heroes and they deserve better.

How many of them come home and become an afterthought? I know of one who did not lose his life in battle, he survived those, but the inner demons or rather the aftermath of war were the battles he still had to fight even when his service in the military was over. A veteran is defined as “a person who served in the active military, naval or air service, and was discharged or released under conditions other than dishonorable,” or as I see it, it goes something like this:

A soldier is someone who “wrote a blank check payable to the United States of America for an amount up to and including one’s life.” Unknown

My friend, the soldier, came home intact. However, the demons he carried within him, would take its toll on his inner psyche. He used alcohol to drown out the voices but his mind and his heart wouldn’t let him forget. To make a long story short, he fell very ill and his organs started shutting down one by one. He was overseas at the time with no family and one friend to see him through his ordeal. He thought he was safe because the military would take care of its own but he thought wrong. He was just an afterthought in the grand scheme of things. He had done his duty for his country and he expected that his country would take care of him for services rendered but he was yet to find out that was far from the truth. As one person I spoke to told me, “Soldiers think they can run to us when they find themselves in dire circumstances but there is nothing we can do, he will have to find his own way out of it.” The “it” meaning his sickness notwithstanding his few months of life left to live..

I reached out to the powers to be in Germany but was told in no uncertain terms that there was nothing they could do. I asked if they could fly him home in one of their planes and that was met with a no. I spoke to the Embassy but was told that it would take months to get an approval and when I pointed out he didn’t have that, they said they were very sorry. The Germans saw him as a liability because he was an American and there was no help forthcoming from them. Flying him home on a commercial flight meant he would need an escort and it would cost an arm and a leg to do that. He spent the last month or so in and out of the hospital and towards the end was transferred to a hospice, only after I went to do battle for a dying man. He died there a week later.

“I stand ready not for politics or for leaders, but for my brothers next to me, my children at home, and for a country I protect.” Unknown

How often have we heard this phrase when referring soldiers who had served their country, “We are so grateful for your service.” It is a superficial phrase at best because there is no substance behind it. Heroes deserve better. They deserve to know that their unparalleled service to the country they love will be met with gratefulness not in words alone but with actions as well. It wasn’t the case for my friend. I am sure there are many out there who feel the same way. If you are in a foreign country, make sure you know what your options are if you find yourself in the same circumstances as my friend. The truth is you are on your own and you will have to fend for yourself as my friend did but the only problem was he wasn’t capable of doing that. He was too ill. Luckily for him, he had me to fall back on.

When I die and go to heaven to St. Peter I will tell, “One more soldier reporting for duty sir, I’ve served my time in hell.” Hal Popplewll CUSMG 1971-1979

Rest in peace soldier