letsgetitoutfront

Time

“Time and tide waits for no man.” Geoffrey Chaucer

I was discussing time with a friend and told him jokingly that this year I was going to hold on tight and make time go as slowly as possible. He laughed because he knew as well as I did that holding onto time is an impossible task and the truth is it flies and trying to keep up is the only thing to do.

Zig Ziglar said, “Lack of direction not lack of time is the problem. We all have 24-hour days.”

True but sometimes it seems that the days fly by and just when you think it is the beginning of the week, lo and behold, it’s the weekend again. When we look back, it is clear that we waste a lot of time on things that don’t matter, on people we shouldn’t be wasting our time on and perhaps just sitting around and wishing and hoping that things were different. I’ve started a routine to make the days count because lost time is just that. You are not getting it back ever again. I’ve started writing down everything I do during the course of the day. There are no hard and fast rules so I give myself permission to write down my thoughts and feelings as well as improvement ideas. Surprisingly, I’ve been keeping up and getting a lot accomplished and some days I pat myself on the back and say, “Great job, you’re giving time a run for the money! Keep it up.” It really has slowed time down for me. Try this approach, you might just like it.

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” Michael Altshuler

This year I want to take the time to smell the roses which means taking more time for myself mentally and physically. I want to do things that will bring an improvement to and will enrich my life. I am not going to let a day go by without doing something productive. That said, I am going to find the time to relax, not going to sweat the small stuff and let time keep up with me instead of the other way around! Doable? Anything is doable if you put your mind to it.

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” J.R.R. Tolkien

You are a Winner!

“Losers make promises they often break, winners make commitments they always keep.” Denis Waitly

A worthy quote but for someone going through a hard time especially of not feeling like they belong on the winner’s platform, this is a hard one to swallow.

Today, I got a message from someone very close to me. It said, “I’m doing what I need to do but it’s hard.” He’s come a long ways from doing nothing, of pulling the covers over his head and wishing the world away. Today, there seems to be a light at the end of the deep, dark tunnel. He still has a long way to go and that is the hard part.

Moving on and doing what is expected of you sometimes takes superhuman effort. Been there and done that. Taking that first step after life has pushed you down and trusting that wherever you’re headed is much better than the here and now is going to require placing your energy, effort and trust in the unseen or rather the unknown. It is going to require strength, tremendous strength. The problem is we keep looking at that closed door and we refuse to look at the one that is open. Even if we do see that open door, we refuse to budge because change is frightening and here is where we want to stay no matter how bad it is. There is no other option but to keep moving.

I know he will stay in bed for a little while longer until he realizes that winning requires movement, it requires hard work and it requires motivation and dedication. He has all those things within him so I know that when the time is right, he will stand back up and push himself to the finish line. He is not a loser, he has worked too hard to give up now, just needs a little nudge to get him there.

“Winners always find the way to win.” Unknown

Then There Were Two

Ron DeSantis throws in the towel. He officially dropped his bid for the 2024 Republican Presidential nomination on Sunday saying, ”If there was anything I could do to produce a favorable outcome, more campaign stops, more interviews, I would do it. But I can’t ask our supporters to volunteer their time or donate their resources if we don’t have a clear path to victory.” I’ve got to hand it to him, the man knows when to fold ’em and when to walk away as the lyrics to The Gambler song goes. As if that wasn’t enough to rock the Republican world, he went on to endorse Agent Orange and that was surprising. A friend said, “Can you believe it? What a loser!!!” Loser or not, DeSantis jumping ship means there will be two left standing.

Trump, the frontrunner, is pleased as punch to say the least. On hearing the news on Sunday, the man who is known for throwing insults, was magnanimous in his praise as he always is when things go his way. ”I’d like to take time to congratulate Ron DeSantis, (not Ron DeSanctimonious) a really terrific person (see the oozing?) ……for having run a great campaign for president.”

Nikki Haley, the other one standing, was in a high school auditorium plugging her campaign. She asked, “Can you hear that sound? That is the sound of a two person race.” She will get her wish of standing shoulder-to-shoulder or going one-on-one with the man who doesn’t care if it’s right or wrong, if an election has been won legally and one who will stoop to nothing short of instigating a coup because he didn’t get his way. He is still walking with his head held high and with a smile plastered on his “orange” face.

There you have it. It’s going to be a two-person race and it’s coming down to the wire. The question is, do they even have to duke it out? Isn’t it a foregone conclusion? The orange giant is looming larger than life and like a bad dream that will never go away! I swear the man has nine lives or more, now if he’ll only put it to good use. No chance of that so we’ll have to grit our teeth, clench our jaws and see how this will play out.

I’ll take anyone BUT you know who. Four more years of GREAT! HUGE! and MOI! MOI! MOI! is not my cup of tea and neither is a daily dose of MAGA greatness and stunted vocabulary!

A great start to a new week don’t you think? Lord have mercy!

The Iron Lady?

Several years ago, Nikki Haley delivered the Margaret Thatcher lecture to a small group gathered outside the U.S. Capitol building. She said, “The Iron Lady taught us a great lesson. Things were going badly (for) the United Kingdom in the late 1970s. Inflation soared. The economy stagnated. Because of socialism, the United Kingdom was on the road to ruin. Then Margaret Thatcher hit the brakes.”

Former aide to Margaret Thatcher, Nile Gardiner congratulated Haley saying, “I think I can say that you are the closest America has to an Iron Lady.” That was way back then.

Her real name is Nimrata N. Randhawa but she has gone by Nikki all her life. She is the proud daughter of immigrant parents. Her father, Ajit Singh and her mother, Raj Kaur Randhawa came to America to take part in the American Dream. In her 2012 memoir, “Can’t Is Not an Option: My American Story,” Haley talks about the racial bias she and her family faced in almost every aspect of their lives. Not considered white enough and not considered black enough, she had to fight to make it in racist America. She says, “I faced racism when I was growing up,” for being a brown girl.

However, in a recent interview with Brian Kilmeade of Fox News she changed her tune. ”We’re not a racist country.” She plays to the Pied Piper folks. The lady talks tough and stands tall when delivering her messages of change and hope for a better America but the Iron Lady seems to have a core that is as soft as a marshmallow or more appropriately more like Jello that wiggles and moves when pressure is placed on it. America was and still is a racist country. Hard work and ambition may help you to achieve the American Dream but that is besides the point and she knows it.

Remember when she refused to acknowledge that slavery was the root cause that plunged the U.S. into a civil war from 1861 1865? Slavery was morally wrong, that was the message delivered by the Civil War. However, Haley’s answer went like this, “I think the cause of the Civil War was basically how government was going to run, the freedoms and what people could and couldn’t do.” When Dylann Roof, a 21-year-old white supremacist and Neo-Nazi cold-bloodedly murdered nine Black members of a Bible study group, the Confederate flag was removed from the Capitol, however, Haley had this to say, “For many people in our state, the flag stands for traditions that are noble – traditions of history, of heritage and ancestry,” conveniently forgetting or simply choosing to forget that the “flag is a deeply offensive symbol of a brutally oppressive past.” Sydney Blumenthal in his opinion piece, “Nikki Haley’s comment on the US civil war was no gaffee,” says, “The unexpected incident showed Haley to be slight, frightened and cowardly. Her deeper problem is that she is a slave to her party.” Margaret Thatcher was dubbed “the Iron Lady” for her uncompromising politics and leadership style. Nikki Haley has a long ways to go and filling those shoes takes unwavering strength, strong will and standing up for what is right. Melting like a tub of butter when the sun hits is not going to do it.

“Be careful who you trust. Salt and sugar look the same.” Unknown

Sticks and Stones

This world for as much as it is beautiful is still a cruel place. Evil lurks and strikes when you least expect it. However, the kind of evil I am going to talk about here is not the kind that can hurt you physically but the one that has the power to go deeper, much deeper.

“A dagger of words can pierce the heart more deeply than any weapon.” Unknown

We’ve heard this adage before, some of us many times before. ”Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” How often have we taken this one to heart and agreed wholeheartedly with it? Words will never hurt me? It doesn’t quite work that way does it? Words have the potential to hurt even more than sticks and stones. They have the power to cut you like a knife, they have the ability to hurt like hell, they can humiliate and maim you to the point that your world comes to a standstill.

Words have power. The good ones can lift you up but the bad ones can bring you to your knees. Labels such as, moron, imbecile, idiot or others of a more sinister nature DO HURT. They can also have an impact on a more deeper psychological level.

So choose your words carefully as you go out into the world today. What you put out there matters so let’s go out and make this world a better place, one word at a time!

Here are some of my favorite quotes that speak to the power of words.

“Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime.” Rachel Wolchin

“Words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose yours well.” Robin Sharma

And finally this,

“Words are powerful, they have the ability to create a moment and the strength to destroy it.” Joyce Meyer

Life is Fragile

“When you see how fragile and delicate life can be, all else fades into the background.” Jenna Morasca

I got a call from a friend yesterday. She told me that she had been in the hospital for a week. All is well with her but it was a scary experience. It brought home the fact that life in all its beauty is still as fragile as can be.

A year and a half ago, I lost someone very close to me. We never thought that life with all its idiosyncrasies would throw a curveball. One so large and unexpected that when all was said and done, only one of us would be left standing to carry on.

The walk in the snow-covered world was exhilarating. Everything was covered in white and the trees looked like pictures out of a postcard. It also brought back times when we had taken those walks together. The times when snowball fights and laughter reigned supreme. Little did we know then that life as we knew it was about to change forever.

“You never think the last time is the last time. You think that there will be more. You think you have forever. But then life can quickly remind you, you don’t” Grey’s Anatomy

What if we knew that life was short? What then? Would we try to cram as much living as we can into today? Perhaps knowing just how fragile life is should make us stop and take notice, to stop procrastinating and to do and say the things we need to say before it is too late. I wish I had.

Today as I approach the top of the hill, I remember that snow-filled day as you said, “I want a selfie with the both of us in it.” We were laughing in the picture. Now I realize that there will be no more pictures, no more memories to be made and no more laughter to be shared. You’ve gone on a different journey.

I’ve said many things to you since you’ve been gone. Nothing seems enough, perhaps one day it will be and memories of you will fade and I will be at peace. Here are more of the same, more of what I wished I had said when you were here.

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for all the times we shared. Thank you for showing me just how much love you could squeeze into that little amount of time. Thank you for showing me that I was an important part of your life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Life is fragile. All it takes is one wrong move, one unexpected turn of events and like a candle in the wind, it can be snuffed out never to be relit again. Forever is not in its vocabulary and neither is invincible. Knowing that we should make time for the important things in life, free up space by letting go of the unimportant ones and take the time to say and do the things you need to do before it is too late.

Standing Strong

Weakness is easy. It doesn’t take much to get us there. It could be brought about by the breakdown of a relationship or a situation in life that brings us to our knees. During these times, “weakness” will come around holding out its hands to us and more often than not we are more than willing to stay for awhile and wallow there in the darkness. Be very careful of weakness, it’s a false friend. It is inadequate, feeble, lacking in firmness and strength is not one of its attributes. Know when to let go and stand back up.

“We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it as not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Choose your lessons carefully if you don’t want darkness than don’t stand in it. There are things that happen in life that we have no control over but there are the ones that we know exactly what we are getting into. For example, the people we choose to have relationships with knowing full well that we are headed for disaster from the get go or the things we shouldn’t do and yet it beckons and we go for it ignoring the consequences or choosing to go into the lion’s den knowing full well what is awaiting us there. Choose to stand in the light.

“If you want the light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining.” Guy Finley

Not always easy I know. Being strong when faced with adversity is not always doable. Being strong when standing in the dark and faced with the unknown is scary. Being strong when all you want to do is throw up your hands is one of the hardest things to do. I learned my hardest lessons not when things and situations were at their best but when they were at their most difficult. The lessons we learn when we are at our most vulnerable are the ones that help us as we make our way through life and the ones that help to shore us up for the lessons to come. The ones that teach us we are not breakable but pliable and like that tree that moves and bends as the wind picks up, we too are fully capable of handling whatever life throws our way.

“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” Bob Marley

Trump Win

The man of the hour, Donald J. Trump, stepped onto the platform to acknowledge victory. His hair was perfectly coiffed, no runaways this time and with a smile plastered on his orange face and with his over-inflated ego in tow, he oozed graciousness and something more.

He pledged to seal up the border, stop the invasion of immigrants from the southern border, harness liquid gold or rather oil and to straighten out elections. A chant of, “America First,” broke out from his supporters and with an adoring smirk on his face, he said, “Iowa we love you. Just go out and buy larger tractors and more land. D’ont worry about it.”

The Indian-American entrepreneur, Vivek Ramaswamy in his Third presidential debate said, “What I would tell Bibi is that Israel has the right and the responsibility to defend itself. I would tell him to smoke those terrorists on his southern border” and if elected, “I will be smoking the terrorists on our southern border.” It didn’t quite work out for him. Coming in fourth place didn’t quite make his dreams come true, he has dropped out of the race and endorsed Trump in hopes of achieving his goal from the sidelines, the “smoking” part I mean.

In his toned down victory speech, Trump called on his opponents to join him to unify America. He actually went on to praise them saying, Nikki Haley and Ron DeSantis, “actually did very well,” and praised Vivek Ramaswamy for doing a “hell of a job.” However, his insults of past calling Nikki Haley a “Globalist Rino” and saying, ”she can never win in the General Elections because she doesn’t have MAGA and never will.” He went on to add, “Ron Desanctimonious at least is MAGA-Lite.” None of that was front and center this time. He even went on to use their names instead of “bird brain” for Nikki Haley and “DeSantimonious” for DeSantis.

A gentler Trump? A unifier? Don’t bet your bottom dollar on it! The question is, what if he had lost? Fraud! Recount! Fight! Fake! These are all words we’ve heard coming out of the sore loser or sour grapes Trump. Winning at any cost is his motto so don’t let him fool you folks. It is still there. What? The five-year-old who loves throwing a temper tantrum when he doesn’t get his way is still there and the man who will go to great lengths in trying to overturn a legitimate election result is still there too. It is just a matter of time before the real Trump will show up in all his true colors and I don’t just mean “orange” either!

YOU ARE ENOUGH

“You are enough, just as you are.” Meghan Markle

The Duchess of Sussex shared this quote in an interview and how right she is.

How many times have we questioned if we are really enough? How many times have we said if only I was thinner, prettier, more popular, had more friends than life would be better, simpler and I would be enough. More times than you can count on your fingers right? I know I have.

I think to be enough you have to start by loving yourself first. It is not about what society expects of you, the impossible goals it puts out there so that achieving some of them takes us to never never land and leaves us wanting but never quite attaining what is the norm or considered the norm in today’s society of much ado about nothing.

Beyonce said:

“Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.”

I will add, love yourself first and you’re halfway there. Look in the mirror and give yourself a big hug and say, “I love you warts and all!” Yes warts because we do carry those unseen warts around with us. Just the other day someone said to me, “You are your worst critic.” He is right but more appropriately I am my own worst enemy. When I look into that mirror first thing in the morning, I see all that is wrong and those warts, those invisible ones take shape and have the power to obliterate if I allow them. These days, I see someone genuine with potential staring back at me. I smile, give myself a hug and go on my way.

So many of us go through life carrying the burden of I don’t measure up. It is easy to do in this world of ours where perfection and beauty are key buzzwords and measuring up is an uphill task. However, these are just two words. Honesty, integrity, dependability, good-heartedness, helpfulness and so on are all words that carry so much worth that they have the power to blow those two other words, beauty and perfection to kingdom come! Look at you, the real you and you will know that you my friend are enough as you are.

Someone close to me said, “I don’t know if I can make it.” Despair, frustration and a fear of the future are the monsters he will have to slay. He’s at a standstill but this is nothing new. I’ve been there and so have you when the day seems unfathomable and all you want to do is turn out the light, shut out the world and go within yourself and stay there for awhile.

“Today I feel like putting on the “OUT OF ORDER” sticker on my head and going back to bed.” Unknown

However, the trick is in knowing when to crawl out of bed, remove that sign and take life by its reins and to say, “I am enough as I am. You won’t defeat me!”

You are capable, you have the power within you to achieve the impossible and you my friend are stronger than you think!

YOU ARE ENOUGH!

“My mission should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.” Anais Nin

100 Days

On October 7, 2023 Hamas attacked and killed approximately 1,200 Israelis. Since then more than 24,000 Palestinians have been killed by Israeli forces in retaliation and amongst them 6,000 children.

Article 51 of the UN Charter states when a state resorts to force to defend itself, necessity and proportionality must be met.

Necessity requires that force be used only as a last resort and only when there is a reasonable chance of success. Israel has used force throughout Palestinian territories for decades and all that it has done is to create more militants, terrorism and violence and more of the same will follow.

The principle of proportionality (Article 51) states that “even if there is a clear military target it is not possible to attack it if the expected harm to civilians or civilian property, is excessive in relation to the expected military advantage.” Proportionality requires that the force used be commensurate to the injury. I think Israel is marching to a different drumbeat and it is well aware of it.

Day 100 and counting…….