LOL!

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Spaghetti with meatballs?!!

This guy had been having an affair with an Italian woman for two years.

One night she says, honey, I’m pregnant.

The guy almost faints. He’s thinking, my marriage is over.

So he says, listen, I’ll give you a lot of money if you go back to Italy, have the baby there, and keep everything a secret. I’ll even send child support until the kid turns 18.

She says, okay. But how will you know when the baby’s born?

This genius says, Easy. Just mail me a postcard and write one word on the back. Spaghetti. I’ll know exactly what it means.

Seven months later, he comes home and his wife says, Honey, you got the weirdest postcard today. He says, Just give it to me. He reads it. His face turns ghost white. He grabs his chest and drops like he just saw his credit card bill.

His wife picks up the postcard and reads it. It says, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.

🤣🤣🤣

The Day He Brought Flowers

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There are many days that I would like to relive from my past but there is one that is the sweetest and one that completely spoke of love.

He was about five, I think, I am not good with time but he was in kindergarten at the time. I had stopped walking with him and he was learning to get there on his own and back again. It was in the village and it took about five minutes to get there, but he had to cross a main street and I was nervous about that. However, he had been doing fine so I let the worries go.

When it was time for him to get home, I would be a permanent fixture at the kitchen window! I was a helicopter mom and proud of it! Anyway, one day he was late getting home. The five minutes turned into 40 and still no show. I was about to go looking for him when I heard the doorbell ring. Letting out a sigh of relief and ready to give him a piece of my mind, I opened the door.

There he stood with a sweet smile on his face and a bouquet of wild flowers clutched in his hand. There was no rescue for the flowers, they were dead as a doornail but he handed them to me and said proudly, “I picked them for you mommy.” The angry words I wanted to say to him flew out of my head and instead I hugged him tightly. Then I walked into the kitchen and carefully put those precious flowers into a glass of cold water. He stood watching, his eyes filled with pride. “Do you like them mommy? I thought they were pretty.” Blinking back tears, I nodded and kissed him again.

That moment has stayed in my mind, etched in stone and never to be erased again. If I could go back in time, I would like to relive that day again, it was filled with love. My young boy took it upon himself to show his mommy some love and he didn’t realize it at the time but it would go down in history, mine, as one of the best days of my life.

Daily writing prompt
If you could relive one day from your past, which day would it be and why?

A Tough Day

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I spent most of yesterday in the hospital. What should have been a pre-op meeting with the anesthesiologist and the surgeon turned out to be a long drawn out affair. They were short on staff so it meant long waiting times.

Being punctual, I showed up on time. It was time to meet them and to see what is coming my way. The first meeting was with a lady who asked a lot of questions and took down the next of kin’s information in case something goes wrong! Then it was back to the waiting room. Forty minutes later, I was called in again for blood samples and an urine sample. Back out again in the waiting room, 3o minutes later the meeting with the anesthesiologist took place. A nice guy who explained the procedure, asked more questions, and told me, “Operations always have risks.” Hmm….that didn’t help to quiet my already raging mind. I was sent outside again and it was time to wait again. Then I was called in to another office and I met with the surgeon, not the one who will be doing the procedure, she said someone from her team will be doing the actual operation but it won’t be her. Why am I talking to people who will not be doing the actual procedure? Maybe it works differently in Germany.

Anyway, we had a good talk, a few laughs, and then I was sent back out again. Thirty minutes later, I went into another room and was told to show up bright and early on Monday. I should be there at 7:30 a.m. and then it will take off from there. What I didn’t tell you is that I might need two operations! According to the surgeon, two hours wouldn’t give them enough time to do everything they need to do and it looked like another operation would be necessary to finish the job.

I AM GOING TO DIE!

That’s exactly what I told her and she laughed. “No, you are not going to die,” those were her words.

Am I feeling better with this pre-op talk? What do you think?!!! The thing is I have no choice, I’ve signed the papers and it’s a GO on Monday. God, help me!

The Notebook

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I’ve seen this movie twice and the last time I watched it again was about two months ago and it still had the power to make me cry.

It is my kind of love story, the kind that grips at your heart and turns on the faucet, I mean the tear ducts go into over production and even after the movie is over and done with. I love sad love stories and this one is SAD.

It is about a forbidden love, the one where people from different social backgrounds should not meet and fall in love. Noah Calhoun and Allie Hamilton do just that, they fall deeply in love and the story takes you through their decades-long romance with lots of twists and turns.

The summer romance turns into a never-ending saga with Allie who is from a wealthy family and Noah a poor local mill worker trying to keep the romance alive while Allie’s parents disapprove of the relationship and try to keep the couple apart.

It’s a tearjerker. Noah goes off to war and Allie volunteers as a nurse. She later meets and marries a wealthy handsome lawyer. The old romance is rekindled again when Noah restores an old plantation house he had promised to buy for Allie and she sees an article about the plantation house and pays him a visit.

The elderly man reading the journal at the beginning of the story is Noah and it turns out that the woman he is reading the journal to in the nursing home is Allie. Allie wrote the love story so that Noah could read the story to her if she ever forgot. The part that will have your tears gushing like a waterfall is the final moment when they pass away peacefully in their sleep.

True love never dies. This story will make you a believer! A beautiful love story that will clutch at your heart from the get go.

Daily writing prompt
What’s the last movie that made you cry?

The Holocaust

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The years 1941 and 1945 saw Nazi Germany murdering six million Jewish men, women, and children. This event was known as The Holocaust and it is also known as the Shoah. It was genocide on a mass scale and six million Jews were murdered under Nazi racial ideology.

January 1933 marked the rise of Nazism and Adolf Hitler became Chancellor of Germany. He turned the nation into a fascist dictatorship. New laws such as the Nuremberg Laws of 1935 stripped Jews of their rights and citizenship and they were sent to death camps where they were murdered along with millions of others who did not fit Hitler’s perception of what a German should look like. His ideology was that “Germanic peoples (termed “Aryans”) belonged to a “master race” that was superior to all other groups.” He also believed in conquering lands so that the Aryan race would have more living space.

He was about 5 feet 9 inches tall, had a slicked back hairstyle, a small square mustache and he was nothing much to look at. However, his policies centered on “totalitarian control, radical racial ideology” and agressive territorial expansion. This would later trigger World War II and the Holocaust.

If there is one event I could erase from history, it would be this one. I would try to erase Hitler’s view that human history is not a struggle between economic classes but more of a biological warfare between races for survival and dominance. It was one of the saddest times in history that saw the killing of innocent men, women, and children. Unfortunately, we are seeing history wanting to repeat itself and fascism is not a thing of the past but doing perfectly fine and well in today’s society. If given a chance, it would gladly step in and repeat what happened back in Nazi Germany.

It was a cruel time, a sad time, and a terrible time that caused lasting pain in the world. Unspeakable crimes were committed, families were torn apart, and millions were killed in the name of a “superior race.” May it never rear its ugly head again and may another Adolf Hitler never rise again!

I hear he is burning in hell for all time!

Daily writing prompt
If you could erase one event from history, what would it be?

LOL!

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I thought this was hilarious and wanted to share. Hope it brings laughter your way.

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up.

Sam looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell the wife?”

They draw straws. Lester, who is always a loser, picks the short one.

They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse than it is.

“Gentlemen! Discreet? I’m the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name …leave it to me.”

Lester walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, asks what he wants.

Lester says, “Your husband just lost $500 playing cards.”

She hollers, “TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!”

Lester replies, “I’ll tell him.”

Job well done? One other thing, notice how they finished playing before they talked about telling the wife. A man thing or a poker thing?

Believable Conspiracy Theory

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My ex who is a physicist had a knack for believing in conspiracy theories, in fact he was a conspiracy theorist par excellence! There are many conspiracy theories about money and he took them to heart. I recall about three years ago, he told me that money isn’t going to be worth much in the coming years and that looking at other ways of investing money is the way to go. He was good at managing money, that was one thing he was good at and I listened when he spoke.

He loved investing his money and one of his favorites was investing in stocks. I, on the other hand, am not a risk taker. I didn’t think it was a good idea after seeing him lose money in stocks he had invested in. It wasn’t always a win-win situation, risks were involved. Lucky for him, he won more than he lost. I did look at what he suggested and lo and behold, he was right!

I didn’t invest in stocks but in something else and it doubled its value within a short time! He was right and that conspiracy theory did come true. Money is a scarce commodity these days. The guy is definitely good at what he does and even though he lost some money, he was right in other ways. I’m glad I listened to him in that respect and DID NOT lose any money!

Daily writing prompt
What’s a conspiracy theory you actually find believable?

A Week to Go!

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This time next week, I will be changing into a hospital gown, you know the kind that leaves things exposed in the back! I’m not looking forward to that at all and neither am I looking forward to meeting the team who will be assisting the surgeon, one who will walk in like God to do what he needs to do to get me back on track.

I’ve been climbing walls, sleep has been eluding me, and I’m jittery and feeling like the lamb being led to the slaughter! Yesterday, I prepared the living room for my return back from the hospital. This house has four floors. A lot of room you say? You are right. However, it is not cut out for recuperating after a hospital stay. I usually sleep on the 1st floor and I love it. This time around, I will have to move to the ground floor so that I can avoid going up and down the stairs. The week of recuperation means no stairs, and no workouts! Light walking is absolutely fine, like 10 to 15 steps and that is it! Will I survive it? I have to. My willpower is strong and my mindset is too. The goal is to survive the operation and to work hard at getting my body stronger and better than before.

First, I have to survive the operation. The “angel” the lady who is going to be helping me and who works at that hospital told me that I will be kept in the intensive care unit after the OP. Why?!! “Nothing to worry about. It’s so they can keep a watchful eye on you.”

I keep telling people that I’m going to die and I did the same when a friend called last night. We are close, well we were very close meaning we had a thing going. We were going back and forth with the relationship thing and now we are friends, but in his words, “We are very close.” Anyway, the point is, I told him that if I survive this next week, we should go away together.

HIM: “You mean travel together?”

ME: “Yes, I’m changing my mind on traveling. I don’t want to just exist, I want to live life.”

HIM: “Existing is no fun. You have to live life.”

ME: “I’m thinking Vietnam. Seems like a great place to visit.”

He has traveled the world.

HIM: “Yes, the world has so many beautiful places to visit and experience.”

ME: “That is if you want to go with me.”

HIM: “Of course, I would go with you. Sri Lanka is another great place.”

ME: “Oh yes, a week in paradise with lots of Ayurvedic treatments sounds great to me.”

Then I came in with, “That is if I don’t DIE before that!”

See where my mind is going and staying? I don’t know why but I’ve been preparing for the worst case scenario. I’ve also had visions of me walking into the operating room with Mike (my angel) holding one hand, and Jesus holding my other hand! Not a bad vision since one of those two has the power to move mountains and more!

Until then, I am preparing the living room for my stay there. I am converting the couch into a bed, and have everything close by. I don’t have a TV downstairs so I will have to make do with my iPhone, books, magazines, and writing materials close at hand. The garden is right outside the door so that is great. I can sit outside and listen to the birds, and let nature do its healing thing. The “angel” lady is going to come by and check on me twice a day. She will also do what needs to be done. I am truly grateful for her help.

Again, all of this comes down to if I make it out of that operating room and if I do, the next step is the intensive care unit. OKAY, I’m not going to think about dying! I’m going to think that it is all going to go according to the PERFECT PLAN. I will let go of control and accept what comes next.

AMEN TO THAT!