My ex who is a physicist had a knack for believing in conspiracy theories, in fact he was a conspiracy theorist par excellence! There are many conspiracy theories about money and he took them to heart. I recall about three years ago, he told me that money isn’t going to be worth much in the coming years and that looking at other ways of investing money is the way to go. He was good at managing money, that was one thing he was good at and I listened when he spoke.
He loved investing his money and one of his favorites was investing in stocks. I, on the other hand, am not a risk taker. I didn’t think it was a good idea after seeing him lose money in stocks he had invested in. It wasn’t always a win-win situation, risks were involved. Lucky for him, he won more than he lost. I did look at what he suggested and lo and behold, he was right!
I didn’t invest in stocks but in something else and it doubled its value within a short time! He was right and that conspiracy theory did come true. Money is a scarce commodity these days. The guy is definitely good at what he does and even though he lost some money, he was right in other ways. I’m glad I listened to him in that respect and DID NOT lose any money!
Daily writing prompt
What’s a conspiracy theory you actually find believable?
This time next week, I will be changing into a hospital gown, you know the kind that leaves things exposed in the back! I’m not looking forward to that at all and neither am I looking forward to meeting the team who will be assisting the surgeon, one who will walk in like God to do what he needs to do to get me back on track.
I’ve been climbing walls, sleep has been eluding me, and I’m jittery and feeling like the lamb being led to the slaughter! Yesterday, I prepared the living room for my return back from the hospital. This house has four floors. A lot of room you say? You are right. However, it is not cut out for recuperating after a hospital stay. I usually sleep on the 1st floor and I love it. This time around, I will have to move to the ground floor so that I can avoid going up and down the stairs. The week of recuperation means no stairs, and no workouts! Light walking is absolutely fine, like 10 to 15 steps and that is it! Will I survive it? I have to. My willpower is strong and my mindset is too. The goal is to survive the operation and to work hard at getting my body stronger and better than before.
First, I have to survive the operation. The “angel” the lady who is going to be helping me and who works at that hospital told me that I will be kept in the intensive care unit after the OP. Why?!! “Nothing to worry about. It’s so they can keep a watchful eye on you.”
I keep telling people that I’m going to die and I did the same when a friend called last night. We are close, well we were very close meaning we had a thing going. We were going back and forth with the relationship thing and now we are friends, but in his words, “We are very close.” Anyway, the point is, I told him that if I survive this next week, we should go away together.
HIM: “You mean travel together?”
ME: “Yes, I’m changing my mind on traveling. I don’t want to just exist, I want to live life.”
HIM: “Existing is no fun. You have to live life.”
ME: “I’m thinking Vietnam. Seems like a great place to visit.”
He has traveled the world.
HIM: “Yes, the world has so many beautiful places to visit and experience.”
ME: “That is if you want to go with me.”
HIM: “Of course, I would go with you. Sri Lanka is another great place.”
ME: “Oh yes, a week in paradise with lots of Ayurvedic treatments sounds great to me.”
Then I came in with, “That is if I don’t DIE before that!”
See where my mind is going and staying? I don’t know why but I’ve been preparing for the worst case scenario. I’ve also had visions of me walking into the operating room with Mike (my angel) holding one hand, and Jesus holding my other hand! Not a bad vision since one of those two has the power to move mountains and more!
Until then, I am preparing the living room for my stay there. I am converting the couch into a bed, and have everything close by. I don’t have a TV downstairs so I will have to make do with my iPhone, books, magazines, and writing materials close at hand. The garden is right outside the door so that is great. I can sit outside and listen to the birds, and let nature do its healing thing. The “angel” lady is going to come by and check on me twice a day. She will also do what needs to be done. I am truly grateful for her help.
Again, all of this comes down to if I make it out of that operating room and if I do, the next step is the intensive care unit. OKAY, I’m not going to think about dying! I’m going to think that it is all going to go according to the PERFECT PLAN. I will let go of control and accept what comes next.
I DON’T deal well with uncertainty! Something uncertain shows up meaning that the future is unknown or rather the outcome and I go into my end of the world theatrics. It used to be worse, but ever since I started working on myself, those “theatrics” are few and far between.
I don’t like uncertainty. I’m all about having that crystal ball and knowing what is around the corner and NO surprises please! However, life doesn’t work that way and it loves surprises!
How do I deal with uncertainty? These days my heart still takes off running before I can catch up with it but when I do, I look at everything with a clear and controlled mind. Not always easy but it is getting better. First, I look at the pros (not too many pros usually!), and then I look at the cons. There is a whole slew of them, made up ones sure but they are there all the same. Then I go about tackling each one, one step at a time.
This method seems to work and it doesn’t always give me solutions but at least I’m not sweating bullets and gasping for breath! If truth be told, taking a deep breath helps and not concentrating 24/7 on whatever the problem is helps too.
A sleepless night brought about searches to keep me occupied and to calm the mind down from overthinking. This one did it and it had me laughing as well. I agree it is hitting way below the belt but if truth be told, laughter is a good thing and this ONE definitely makes you laugh and THINK as well!
There were many moments in the distant past when I thought I had reached adulthood. However, they were false alarms!
The first time I realized that I was on the verge of adulthood was when I moved away from home to further my studies. I would no longer be under the protection that my parents offered. I could run to them anytime I had a problem and I knew that help was near by but that help wasn’t just a phone call away anymore.
However, university brought on a new set of challenges. I had to handle problems on my own from setting up my apartment, getting around campus, making new friends and learning to keep up with the schedule. Those were hard and scary times.
Throw in a stalker in the mix and I thought I was sinking at times. After six months of terror, he was gone and I could breathe again. There was no mom and dad to come to my rescue and I had to learn to handle problems on my own. I think, I coped well.
The moment I realized that I was officially an adult was when I knew that I didn’t need mommy and daddy to bail me out and I could stand on my own two feet without looking behind me for help. That’s when I became an adult, it was scary and exhilarating at the same time.
Daily writing prompt
What’s a moment when you realized you were officially an adult?
There are several restaurants in the nearby village and they are all good. Hard to pinpoint one.
There is a Vietnamese place, a hole in the wall but the food is exceptional. The ambience speaks of a takeaway place but they do have a few tables and chairs so you can dine in as well. They serve authentic Vietnamese cuisine, it is cheap, and the food is great.
A Schnitzel place not too faraway is exceptional for its German cuisine. They serve about a hundred different varieties of Schnitzels, the Schnitzels remain the same but the sauces vary. It is finger-licking good but if you’re on a diet, it should not be indulged in on a regular basis!
An Indian place is the next best restaurant. They serve Thalis, both the vegetarian and non-vegetarian kind. The ambience is more upscale, if you sit outside you are next to the river. A nice place to spend the afternoons or evenings. Food is good, service is exceptional, and the price is ok. Not too expensive and not too cheap.
My particular village doesn’t offer much in terms of food but they do have a small Italian place and a cafe but good food is just a stone’s throw away. I was out with a friend today and she said, “Not bad, you have everything you need close by!”
She is right. Add the fields and I’ve got paradise the way I view paradise!
Hmm….a hard one. I want to say so many things but one thing stands out above the rest. It is the one thing that keeps me from moving forward. Fear is my biggest nemesis. It is and has always been there and stops me at times from doing things spontaneously.
I have to overthink before I take the first step and sometimes thinking too much means the opportunity is gone even before you get started!
My message to my past self would be, “Let go of fear. It may seem like a friend and sometimes it is, but too much fear is not a good thing. Be fearful but don’t let it be all-consuming.”
Doable? I don’t know but I am trying.
Daily writing prompt
If you had a time machine and could send just one message to your past self, what would it say?
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