“Life is too short for long-term grudges.” Elon Musk
He’s right there but holding “grudges” as humans seems to be normal if not a necessary practice at times. Holding a grudge against someone who did you wrong is sometimes the only form of hitting back or getting some form of satisfaction for all the pain they had put you through. Even if it is invisible to the person you are aiming the grudge at, nevertheless, it feels good to have that weapon an imaginary one that seethes within you and sometimes burns a hole in your soul.
Been there, done that. I’m only human after all and I’m no saint. I know I’ve held a “grudge fest” against my ex for a long time. How dare he walk off into the sunset and leave me to deal with the aftermath after causing the wreckage he did? That right there was my reasoning for holding onto the grudge. It took a long time to learn that grudges weigh you down, there is a certain heaviness that you carry around but more importantly, you do not move on or move forward with a grudge or two hanging around your neck.
“Holding on to anger is like holding on to an anchor and jumping into the sea. If you don’t let it go, you’ll drown.” Unknown
This applies to grudges as well. Learning to let go takes time, doing the forgiveness thing even more so. I still haven’t forgiven him but I have learned to let go of the bitterness. I don’t feel that sour taste in my mouth each time he shows up here. That in itself is progress. I also believe in karma and I know that what you put out there comes back to you eventually. Is that like holding a grudge? Maybe, but it is the best I can do for now.
A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.”
“What do they say?” the priest inquired.
They say, “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?” the woman said embarrassingly.
“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed. “I can see why you are embarrassed.”
He thought a minute and then said, “You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I’m sure your parrots will stop saying that….that phrase in no time.”
“Thank you,” the lady responded, “this may very well be the solution.”
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding their rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?”
There was a stunned silence.
Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, “Put the beads away Francis, our prayers have been answered!”
I wanted to say Maui in Hawaii but I decided to go with Japan. I’ve written about Maui before so Japan is the next furthest place I’ve ever been. I recall I was headed to Asia and needed to catch a connecting flight from Japan.
I was tired when we landed in Japan. It was getting dark and I had very little time before my next flight took off from there. The terminal was very crowded AND the signs, the all-important ones, that tell you where to go were all in Japanese! The people I spoke to couldn’t help, they just spoke Japanese and I was lost! After several minutes of trying to no avail, I decided to walk around. Suddenly, a young Japanese businessman approached me and spoke to me in English! He told me, “Don’t worry, I’ve traveled all over the world and when I come into this airport, I get lost as well!” That made me feel a whole lot better but I still had the predicament of getting to where I needed to go.
He was nice enough to walk with me to an area where we had to go down some stairs. It was dark and I felt uneasy but I had my brave face on and didn’t show how I was feeling. Suddenly we were outside in the cold evening air. He told me I needed to take a bus or an airport shuttle to get to where I needed to go! He saw the alarm on my face but assured me that I would be alright. He waited till I boarded the bus and with a wave and a smile, he was gone. The bus driver did not speak English and I was the only one on that shuttle! I kept my eyes peeled and saw the sign I needed. To make a long story short, I made it in time for my next flight.
I recall that trip and it stands out for all the reasons I mentioned above. It was nerve-wracking and for a single female alone and one who gets jittery at even the smallest thing, it stands out like a sore thumb. Perhaps, they have better signs now in English but back then, that was not the case.
Daily writing prompt
Share a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.
I was doing fine until the hospital called in the afternoon and wanted to move the test to earlier in the morning, like really early on September 4th!
ME: “WHY?!!”
THEY: “It is going to take a couple of hours so it’s better to do it earlier in the morning.”
Oh Gawd! Peace flew out the window and I’ve been climbing walls ever since. I’ve done the bedroom walls and the office area as well and nothing is helping! Chachi, the cat, has been eyeing me with a look that says, “I told you she’s weird!”
My plan was to show up there in the afternoon thinking they might be tired and I could sweet talk the doctor into letting me out of taking the test. I wanted to move it a year down the road. This early morning BS just threw a wrench in my plans. Anyway, I’ve been Googling and I have all the reasons written down as to why I DON’T need this test. Mount Sinai Hospital says that my levels are in the normal range. Another hospital says that the levels could be higher due to some supplements and the best part is one doctor says that the test they are planning to do will not be accurate. Whatever they say, it will be wrong! I sort of like this last guy. Exactly my thoughts!
Then I googled what the test is all about. Yes, I’ve been busy. They will shoot some radioactive stuff in your veins. Wait 15 minutes and you go under this big machine. It takes pictures. Just awful for a hypochondriac and a person who has a slight case of claustrophobia. If that’s not enough, you have to wait for another 90 minutes or so and you go under the machine again and it takes more pictures!
I told a friend and he said, “STOP GOOGLING!“
Anyway, it is going to be a sleepless night because my mind is racing and doing somersaults and I am wide awake! No amount of meditation is helping and I am P I S S E D! A friend will be accompanying me, the Chilean guy, he’s perfect because he is cool as a cucumber in moments of stress and the complete opposite of me. It will be a tough day for him having to put up with me.
I will have my fingers, toes, eyes and everything else crossed! Wish me luck folks because this is a big one.
I visualize my ideal home as being on two floors with enough space to get lost in! It should have lots of windows to let the light in but not enough to let intruders in! I have a fear of things that go bump in the night including the human kind. It should be well-protected meaning it has good lighting at night, cameras that patrol the area and doors and windows that are burglarproof.
A single woman living alone has her fears but I live in a safe neighborhood where nothing much happens. TOUCH WOOD! Yes, I am superstitious as well. I usually have a peaceful night but once in a while, I hear a loud thump and my heart goes racing. It is usually a stray cat out there having fun or another animal I know not of.
I would call my house my ideal home. It is in a quiet neighborhood, the fields are just a stone’s throw away, the neighbors keep to themselves (it is just the way of an old village) but I love the peace and quiet. The house itself has four floors and it is too big for one person plus a cat but I am used to it and I can’t see myself living anywhere else. If I could do it over, I would get rid of the top floor, it hardly gets used and I would redo the wellness area in the cellar. I’ll do away with the sauna and make it into an extra bedroom or just an area to lounge in. The stairs get tedious at times especially when you have to carry the vacuum up and down the stairs but I love the “security” of sleeping upstairs with the bedroom door locked!
Some of you know that my children’s book is out but since I am a tech klutz, I can’t get the visuals on here! I tried but I gave up! I have no patience for fooling around with tech stuff. Maybe, Elon can help if he is still on here! Just kidding.
I spoke to someone in Singapore and they were able to order a copy from Amazon Singapore. The same for UK, US, and Germany. I just found out that it is available in India as well through Amazon India. The other countries I am not sure of. If you would like to buy a copy, check Amazon in your country. Please buy a copy and BE KIND with your reviews but do give me a review. Hopefully, it is a good one.
“THE EXCELLENT ADVENTURES OF HONEY AND HUBIE”
It is a children’s book about a dog and a frog, two very unlikely characters, who go on an excellent adventure together. The book is filled with animals of all kinds and they SPEAK just like Chachi, the cat does. Believe it or not, I started this story when I was studying in the US and got around to finishing it two years ago! It was gathering dust all this time but now it is out and doing its rounds.
No clue how well it will do but that is not the important part. I had an idea and I brought it to fruition. The rest will take care of it yourself.
There are two kinds of letting go, perhaps there are more ways of doing that but I’m going to talk about two kinds here that make letting go more than a nightmare.. The kind that is of a temporary nature and then there is the more permanent kind. In the temporary kind, you have every intention of letting go but when you do, it is only a matter of time before you go back to the same person. It doesn’t matter how bad the person has treated you, how you were almost invisible in their eyes, how they never had any time for you and you were never the priority but still, you hope and wish that things could have been different. Here’s the problem, it never changes because what they’ve shown you is what you get, nothing more, nothing less. Instead of showing them the door, you keep it slightly ajar just in case they decide to walk back in and do the drumroll all over again and you bow to their every wish.
“It sucks when you know that you need to let go, but you can’t because you’re still waiting for the impossible to happen.” Unknown
The other “letting go” kind is doing it permanently. You realize that the person you were seeing or dating has a lot of the qualities above and you see them for what they are. Maybe it is narcissism, maybe it is selfishness, maybe it is a lack of integrity or character and maybe they are just too full of themselves and think they are IT and everything revolves around them. It’s time to cut the cord because the relationship is not going anywhere and you also realize that you deserve better than what is being handed to you on a worn-out platter. It’s time to do a major change and to take out the trash.
“Letting go does not mean you stop caring, it means you stop trying to force others to.” Mandy Hale
There are many lessons to learn in life and one of them is, you can’t force someone to change. You can only change yourself and take control of who you are, what you deserve and who you want to be with.
“The hardest part about letting go is finally realizing that there wasn’t much left to hold on to.” Unknown
The problem with letting go and why it doesn’t work at times is because we keep looking back at a non-existent relationship and we romanticize it to the point that the guy comes out looking like Prince Charming when in actuality he is a toad or a turd! We come in with the “if only” scenarios hoping and wishing it could be different. Changing someone’s character is next to impossible, it might work for a while but then the real person shows up again and it is only a matter of time before that happens. If he is a cheater, you can bet your bottom dollar that he’ll do it again. If he is a narcissist, he’s a lost cause and if he’s someone who shows no empathy or compassion, well, that is not going to change either because it is built into their DNA. Pay careful attention to what they show you because you’re looking at the truth right there.
“If he’s stupid enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him.” Unknown
That is good advice because if he wants to go, let him go. Don’t keep wondering who he is with, what they are doing together and what he is up to. If you do, it makes letting go a very hard or almost impossible thing to do.
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” Oprah Winfrey
Take Ms. Winfrey’s advice, the lady knows what she is talking about. Stay in the moment and give him enough rope to hang himself but YOU keep moving forward. Rest assured that whoever he is with or whatever he is doing is not far from what he was doing with you because people never change and they don’t change overnight and start smelling like a rose either. It is not for you to wonder why, just know that perhaps it was for the best.
I’ve written about the little furball many many times here and I know I’ve waxed lyrical about him but he is worth waxing lyrical over. He makes me laugh, he makes me happy and at times, he brings a tear of joy to my eye.
The little guy has his ways but he is one smart cookie! He learns quickly and knows how NOT to act like a typical cat when he is interacting with his mommy. His nails are well-sheathed when he runs his paws through my hair to wake me, it is soft and smooth and done very lovingly. When I give him a cleaning, it is met with no protest. He sits there quietly trusting that his mom would not hurt him whatever she does. I can clip his nails, give him a wash cloth bath and even clean his eyes and ears with no problems at all. Once a week, he gets his teeth cleaned with a tiny glove that goes over his pearly whites and he takes it like a champ. When all is said and done, he rubs up against my arm or shoulder, gives me this all loved up look and takes care of his own needs. It could be a drink of water, some food or just while his time away in his window seat.
The thing he does that brings a tear of joy to my eyes is this newly found way of showing affection. Kisses done the cat’s way is a thing of the past. He used to brush his nose against mine and then go all the way up and plant a kiss on my forehead. These days that has changed. Now, he comes straight for my lips, looks into my eyes and then stops just short, perhaps a millimeter away and moves away. Guys, it’s the closest to getting a “kiss” from little macho but I know that it is his way of saying, “I love you.” It definitely brings a tear of joy to my eye!
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well-known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang. So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “Ok take off all your crose.” The woman did as she was told.
“Now get down and craw, reery, reery, reery, fass to odder side of room.” Again, the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, “OK, now craw reery, reery, fass back to me.” So she did
Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, “Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease……worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.”
Worried the woman asked anxiously, “Oh my God, Dr. Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease?”
Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied…..Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your a**!”
When I first started posting here, I didn’t think of it as blogging. I was away from the public eye or so I thought and at the time I had next to no viewers, readers or “likes” for that matter. It was alright with me because everything was low-key and I could write about whatever I wanted to.
It was fun, it was a way to get my frustrations out and at times my anger out as well and a way to clear the path forward. I had taken a fall and I was trying to find my way out of that rabbit hole and what better way to do this than to get it all out there, the good, the bad, and the ugly! I was literally putting myself out there, lock, stock and barrel.
Then those “likes” started rolling in and I realized that people liked what I was writing about and some were in the same boat as I was and it was a way for us to grow and get better together. However, it got a little uncomfortable because at times I felt like I was on full display with my hurts, wounds, and feelings out there for all to see. The other aspect was that there were many out there who had walked the same path I had walked and were looking for ways to get a grasp on life again. I continued and now I do get more likes than I used to, the site is “booming” as I was told earlier this week and it is doing fine.
It is not about the “likes,” it is about life from my perspective and what I have done to get myself back on track and back on the journey of life and if my story has helped someone than my writing or blogging has been well-worth the effort.
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