There is no real story behind my nickname. It just came to be and one day someone decided that Tia seemed to fit me and it stuck. Or perhaps, it’s because I have this exotic look about me. Whatever the case maybe, it is what I go by.
The name itself has several origins and meanings. In Spanish and Portuguese, it means aunt. In Greek, Tia is related to the name Theia, a goddess of sight and the blue sky and it also means “goddess” or “godly.” In Haida mythology, it represents the goddess of peaceful death.
I don’t think the person who gave me that name had “goddess” in mind. I was a little rascal and so I think it was a mere slip of the tongue that set well with me. Tia it was and still is.
“The same people who are candy to our eyes can be poison to our hearts. Study their ingredients before you feed them to your soul.” Unknown
Toxic people are everywhere. You can shut one out and another one appears. A toxic person is defined as, “someone whose behavior consistently causes negativity, stress, and emotional harm to those around them.” Their actions are unpredictable, they lack empathy and their self-centeredness is hard to comprehend but they are out there and their impact on others is emotional exhaustion, anxiety and stress.
What are some things that toxic people do?
They make you feel tense.
They put you down for no reason.
They talk down to you to make themselves feel better.
They only care about themselves.
They make you feel like you can’t do anything right.
They try to control everything.
Those are some of the things they do to make you feel small and to put you in your place, whatever they deem that to be. The problem is they are everywhere so how do you deal with them?
First, you have to learn that it’s not about them, it’s about you. STOP being available for their poison and shut it down. YOU can’t change them, you can only change yourself. Their power lies in your response to them. If you react, you lose, because they thrive on reaction. Remove that power and you’ve found a cure for the virus that they spread. It’s not that easy. Bring the focus back to you because YOU COUNT and YOU MATTER!
“A toxic person only changes their victims, never themselves.” Unknown
Stop letting them control your mind and start putting yourself first. The minute they realize they don’t have you under their power, they are off and running to their next victim.
“If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one-sided, dead-end low vibrational relationship – you won.” Lalah Delia
Stay calm and stop feeding the fire. Understand that their validation means nothing, their approval doesn’t hold power and their negativity is not going to bring you down. You are made of stronger stuff, so shut the door and move on.
“LIFE IS TOO SHORT to spend it with miserable people. Especially when they keep trying to explain why being miserable is normal, and why you don’t have other options.
There are 197 countries and over 7,8 billion people.
There are over 2,000 different fruits, you don’t need to stay stuck with a lemon.” Pamela Storch
Here’s how to move on. Never react, refuse to engage and stop expecting them to change. They won’t. Stop expecting anything from them. You owe yourself peace, calm, and a life free of manipulation and control. Remember there are better fruits out there than a lemon!
Boosting health and wellness doesn’t necessarily mean just the physical aspects of it but also the emotional well-being part as well. I do a lot to get myself back on track as far as these two things are concerned.
Physically, I do workouts almost everyday. Sometimes 7 days a week and when I do take a day off I feel guilty. My workouts are varied because the same old stuff is boring and doesn’t keep me motivated. I do cardio, weight-lifting, stretches, yoga, pilates and just about anything that is out there now. I’ve stepped back from kickboxing, although I used to love it but my muscles scream, “Bloody Murder!” when I go against the norm. So that is off the list now.
Emotionally, I do a lot there too. Meditation, walks in nature, beauty evenings and a whole host of other stuff that I can’t remember now! I write and that is a good way of releasing emotional stress. Playing with Chachi, the cat, brings everything into focus and I’m a happy camper again. Some days, just taking time-out for myself and shutting the world out is a great way of escaping what bugs me and it usually works for a while anyway!
Those are some of my strategies for staying happy, healthy, and well-tuned to face up to life’s challenges. It works but not all the time. Sometimes I need more drastic measures to get me up there. I’m still working on them, but getting it down pat is not guaranteed. Just like life, I suppose.
Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?
Making peace is necessary because it is a step in the right direction, that of moving on. It involves five steps to resolve a difficult situation and or experience.
You first have to acknowledge and confront your feelings.
Next, you have to understand why those feelings exist and how they are affecting you. This involves reaching in the past to see how it is affecting your present.
Forgiveness is next. This is hard to do. Sometimes it is impossible to forgive but if you’re up to it, forgive yourself and others for their part in causing you distress. Easier said than done I know.
Then comes letting go. This part is not easy either but it needs to be done to move forward. Release negative emotions and leave it behind you and don’t keep looking back at that closed door.
The final part is moving forward. You’ll have to find a way to live with what you’ve experienced without letting it dominate your life.
Making peace is a journey just like moving on is. You’ll have to take it one day at a time and be ready to stand back up if you take a fall which will happen. Sometimes it takes several falls before you find your way again.
Here are some quotes to help you on your way.
“One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.” Brigitte Nicole
“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.” Eleanor Roosevelt
“Closure happens right after you accept that letting go and moving on is more important than projecting a fantasy of how the relationship could have been.” Unknown
“If you don’t make peace with your past, it will keep showing up in your present.” Wayne Dyer
This is so true.
“Making peace with your past means:
Grieving the version of yourself who made different choices, lived with different perspectives, and walked a different path.” Unknown
MOVING ON…….
“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened ….or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.” Tupac Shakur
Many of you know that I love cheesecakes. I’ve been trying to get away from its allure but it has been hard. However, I’ve made it a week without eating what I call my nemesis! How did I do it? I’ve been trying a few low carb, no sugar desserts and it has been working like a charm. If you’re thinking, it can’t be any good, you’re thinking wrong! This recipe I am about to share with you is super simple and simply scrumptious! Plus it has very few ingredients and minimal preparation time.
Line a muffin pan with six muffin paper cups. Heat oven to 350 degrees F/180 degrees Celsius.
Mash two very ripe bananas in a bowl. In another bowl, beat two eggs and add to bananas. Mix well. Add a pinch of salt and some sugar but not too much. Then add grated coconut flakes, just enough to moisten the mixture. That’s it!
Pour mixture into each muffin cup. Makes six muffins. Bake for about 20 minutes or until brown on top.
This is absolutely delicious and low carb plus if you’re watching your sugar intake, this is perfect.
I have absolutely nothing in mind as far as future travel plans are concerned. However, it is strange that just a few days ago I was talking with a good friend, a Chilean guy, who suggested that I should take off somewhere and have a nice vacation. He goes home every year and spends winter back in Chile where it is nice and warm.
Nice thought but I can’t see myself doing that. I’m stuck here or rather I think I am. Going somewhere alone doesn’t appeal to me and packing my bags, getting on a plane and going to places unknown even more so.
I’ve come up with a new plan and that is to vacation at home. I can’t think of a nicer place to do that in. No packing, no stress and pure relaxation. Add to that a trip to the beauty salon to get my nails done, a facial and a few other things and that sounds like heaven with very little effort!
Stick-in-the-mud? Absolutely and I can’t see myself changing anytime soon. If by chance, I change my mind I would like to go to the Caribbean where the weather is nice and the scenery breathtaking. Add to that the wonderful seafood selection and I might just consider doing it but the lure of vacationing at home is unbeatable plus I can’t see myself leaving Chachi, the cat, with a cat sitter. He would hate it and I would miss him terribly. What a dilemma! I know, it is one of my own making.
I’ve never seen this in the little villages around here, the bigger cities are a different story altogether. Yesterday brought a different perspective and it was shocking to say the least.
I was looking out the window, it was late afternoon and the wind was picking up speed. Rain was in the forecast and it was a welcome change from the hot and humid days we’ve been having lately. I saw movement at my neighbor’s yard and glancing in that direction, I saw a young boy. He was scrawny and seemed to be around 11 to 12 years of age. His t-shirt was torn and dirty and his eyes had a hollow look about them. He looked to be of Middle Eastern descent.
He was focused on what he was doing. First, he opened the yellow bin which is meant for plastic trash. It was full and he tried opening some of them and then he pulled out a plastic tarp. He quickly laid it out on the ground and folded it carefully. He had a roller close by and he laid it on the seat looking like he had found a piece of treasure. Was he living outdoors? Where? In the woods out in the fields? Thoughts rushed through my mind but I stood frozen watching him. Then his eyes alighted on an empty cookie container. He pulled it out quickly and opened it hopefully. It was empty. I sensed his disappointment. It was at that moment that I wanted to do something. I had cookies and I had half a loaf of bread and all of me wanted to rush out there and to say, “Here, you can have these.” However, I stopped and stood where I was.
He left empty-handed except for that plastic tarp neatly tucked away in his roller. I’ve seen them, the down on their luck people as I call them. You see them all the time in the bigger cities and I always make it a point to give them some money even though I was warned against it. The usual warnings are, “He’s going to use it to buy alcohol,” or “It’s a scam.” My answer, “I did my part and what they do is up to them.” However, this was something new. I’ve never seen people rampaging through trash cans and soup kitchens are not the norm here. So this was concerning and I wondered what his story was.
Later, I told my son about what I had witnessed and he immediately went, “You did the right thing. Do not open the door and do not give them anything!” Sound advice I guess but the heart wants to do something different!
I did take my walk out in the fields today and as I passed the woods, I had my eyes peeled hoping to catch a glimpse of a plastic tarp but there was none. Would he show up again? I don’t know but he has been on my mind.
These are things I would like to see more of in our society. We are sorely lacking when it comes to empathy, morality and honesty.
EMPATHY
What is empathy? Barack Obama described it well.
“Learning to stand in somebody else’s shoes, to see through their eyes, that’s how peace begins. And it’s up to you to make that happen. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world.”
We’ve become a closed door society. Empathy is often nowhere to be seen and we live in a bubble where selfishness reigns supreme. What’s happening out there is none of our business is what we adhere to, but it is. We need to go back to being a kinder and gentler society with caring for our fellowmen front and center.
MORALITY
You know my thoughts on this one, I’ve voiced it often enough! Morality, old-fashioned morality where doing right is a mainstay of a person’s character has flown the coop. These days if they can get away with it, they’re just fine with it. Martin Luther King said:
“The time is always right to do what is right.”
This one holds true even if no one is looking. Unfortunately, modern society is sorely lacking in this aspect. I would like to take morality back in time. I truly feel that going back in time to a more moral society will eradicate a lot of the problems we face today.
HONESTY
“When you walk a life of honesty, you live a life of truth.” Therese Benedict
AND
“Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.” Warren Buffett
If you live a honest life, your stories don’t have to keep changing. Unfortunately, this one has flown the coop as well. We live in a world where LIES are aplenty and being paraded as the truth. Just look at the internet. You know as well as I do that there are many out there who hide behind their computers and pretend to be someone they are not. It is easy to do when you are able to hide behind a screen and portray a persona that is far from the truth. Unfortunately, it is what it is in our modern society and I would like to see changes made. Let’s go to the heart of the matter and cut out some of the scamming that is going on in more ways than one.
Those are my top three picks as far as changing modern society. However, I think we are too far gone to reel it back to where we once were. Empathy, morality and honesty needs to make a come back. How? That is the question.
I call it his symphony, a soft soothing and calming influence. The little guy in the fur coat is my constant companion and from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed, he is there, his eyes trained on me singing his own kind of melody.
I love the soft purring, the deep guttural meow when something doesn’t go his way and the sweet soft whispering of a cat in love. I am used to the sounds by now and when I’m working either around the house or at my computer, those sounds are my daily companion. It is akin to a symphony but it carries more weight than that. Coming from my little companion and best buddy, it makes my heart do a dance unlike any I’ve ever known. It also comes from a source that tells me that I’m his world and he isn’t afraid to show it. Add kisses and cuddles to it and it is a magical symphony that takes me to new heights.
Am I waxing lyrical about the Little Macho? I am. He makes and brings music into my life and just a look from Little Einstein has me singing songs as well! Oh well, that’s what I listen to. The pitter-patter of little feet, the chirps and trills, the purring, the chatters and sometimes a growl or two. They all go to make up Chachi’s symphony and it is absolutely beautiful!
Chachi, the cat, hates changes. He’s like his mom in that respect. However, I learned just how steadfastly he holds on to his routines and all that he is used to a couple of days ago.
I love Googling and I came across this article on cats and their feeding utensils. I realized I had been doing it all wrong. They suggested a flat plate for food so that it doesn’t hurt their whiskers. I decided to rectify the situation and pronto! Amazon was on speed dial and the plates were on the way. They arrived the next day.
Little Einstein had his eyes trained on me as I opened the packages. He eyed me suspiciously.
HIM: “What are you up to?!!”
ME: “I promise you’re going to like them.”
HIM: “WHAT?!!”
He came closer and sniffed the package. I took one flat silver-coloured plate out and placed it in front of him.
HIM: “What’s this?!!! If you think I’m going to eat from it, you’ve got another thing coming!”
The battle lines were drawn and I didn’t know it at the time but I was on the losing end!
Evening rolled around and I put his food in the new plates and carried it upstairs. Little Macho followed, his pug-nose showing disdain and a walk that spoke volumes but I wasn’t paying attention. I sat the plates down and with a flourish said, “Wow, brand new plates. They look lovely!”
He turned around and with those big eyes spitting fire, well, it would have if he could, but instead he walked to the plates and proceeded to bury them with his paws. Oops, I was in for a fight but what else is new? So, I went back downstairs and filled the other bowl with water and came back upstairs. Cookie Dough was on the ground thumping his tail.
ME: “You’ll get used to it.”
HIM: “That’s what you think! I’m going on a food and water strike starting NOW!”
The next morning, his food and water were untouched and Little Macho looked grumpy as hell. To make matters worse, he hadn’t done his big or his little stuff! It’s the first time this has happened and I was worried. I was on “Poop and Pee Pee” watch. Nothing was happening and the little thing had a smirk on his face!
Two days later and with no results of either kind, I was more than worried. On Day Three, I gave him his water in the old bowl and the little warrior went to town quenching his thirst. Then he turned to me and looked at the food.
HIM: “What about those? BRING ME BACK MY OLD BOWLS!”
ME: “Buddy, I gave in on the water but you’re stuck with the food plates!”
I got this look of disbelief but he decided to reel it in. He walked to the plate and gingerly took a bite. Then a few more bites and when he had had his fill, he pushed the rest of the food on the floor and trounced out of the room!
A few hours later, I heard him in his toilet. It was like waiting for manna to fall from heaven! When I heard the familiar sounds, I let out a sigh of relief. It was a done deal. I didn’t win the battle but I got a compromise and believe me, you take what you can get where the little guy is concerned and be happy with it.
HIM: “The next time you get one of your bright ideas, check with me first!”
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