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Five Ways to Transform (Archives)

If you’re looking for ways to transform your life, here are five tips that will get you on your way. These five rules come from Buddhist teachings and if applied daily and in the mornings before your daily grind starts or even before having your first cup of coffee, they will help you to see life in a different light. I’ve been practicing these five rules for about a week now and it has made me calmer, more in tune with myself and believe it or not, my mind is under control as well!

Find a quiet spot and take three deep breaths to center yourself. Repeat each affirmation two or three times to let it sink in and take hold.

I am grateful for this new day.

Really simple but not so simple for some of us. Gratefulness needs to be learned and if practiced daily, it can transform your life in a positive way. Come up with one or two things you are grateful for and go from there.

Let go of yesterday.

This is a hard one. How often do we carry “yesterday” and all its disappointments, anger and sadness like an albatross around our necks? More often than not is the answer. Let go and let yesterday lie where it should. It is done with and today is a brand new day to make it all better.

I am calm and in control of my mind.

It has been said, “Rule your mind or it will rule you.” This simply means, “you have the power to train your thoughts and control your mental state, rather then being controlled by your thoughts and emotions.” Be in the present and use conscious effort to train your mind to shape the thoughts you entertain. “Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.” Guard them with care.

I will respond with kindness today.

Listen without judgment or interruption. Show appreciation for the people around you and an act of goodwill doesn’t hurt either. Wear a smile while you’re doing it and change the world one act at a time.

Everything is temporary.

Know that change is inevitable, it will come whether you want it or not. Nothing is forever except change so learn to let go when it happens. Accepting impermanence can help you to appreciate the present moment and adjust to new situations as they happen.

Five rules to live by but it takes practice to get it down pat and to apply it to your life. Not easy but with practice it is doable. Good luck and see you on the other side of a life well-lived! 👍

Have an amazing day.

When One Door Closes….

No one gave me this bit of advice. I was down in the dumps after a bad breakup and was Googling when I came across the saying, “When One Door Closes Another One Opens.”

It’s hard to take that bit of advice or rather suggestion to heart when you are in the throes of a painful time in your life but somehow I held on to it for dear life and those words helped me to move forward. The problem is:

“To keep opening the closed doors of our past is to miss the adventure of a new door we’ve never opened before.” @jeremy.jennigan

I kept opening the closed doors of my past over and over again and I refused to see the other door cracking open. When it finally did open, there he was “my angel” sent to save me from my misery and to teach me how to fly again. He didn’t stay for long. His time on earth was short but during the time we were together, he showed me what real love was all about. It is not about being selfish. Real love is caring, it is unconditional, you become a priority but most of all it teaches you to fly high and that you are capable of doing and achieving anything with that special person by your side. I call him “my friend” because at that time in my life I had fences or rather stone walls around me. I didn’t want to love again but he understood and still stood by me with these words, “When you are ready, I’ll be here. I’m in it for the long run.” Unfortunately, I was never ready when he was here and now that he is gone, guilt surrounds me. I was broken and there was just no way I could have loved him like he wanted to be loved. Yet, “my angel” didn’t care. When I was just learning to take off, he left.

Unfair I know. However, I have turned to that saying time and time again. It is getting easier to leave the past behind. I do it by refusing to look back and I remind myself there is no rewinding because life is not a movie script where you get to go back, rewrite and change the story the way you want it. However, we still have those speed redials of memories to deal with and they do crop up when a memory hits me hard or a song reminds me of how close we were. I look at the memories, listen to the songs, cry if I must and then I leave it behind knowing that it is a part of my past and it is done.

Remember:

“When one door closes, another one opens.”

Daily writing prompt

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

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The Best Laid Plans…..

“Sundays – sleep until you’re hungry, then eat until you’re sleepy.” Unknown

I had something like that in mind when I went to bed last night. I had finished my meditation ritual and all was calm in my part of the world. Chachi, the cat, was taking it all in stride because by now he knew the human well and when she donned one of her, two sizes too big t-shirts, it meant lights out and quiet time was around the corner. It was time to toe the line.

Chachi behaved and I had a goodnight’s sleep. I had visions of spending most of Sunday in bed having breakfast delivered in bed by my non-existent robotic chef! All the plans were laid-out in my head and I was looking forward to a peaceful Sunday.

You guessed it! Chachi, aka, Little Einstein and the Little Brat had other plans. Sundays are just like any other day so at 5:30 in the morning, he started his usual, “wake the human up” routine. This involves tapping on the head. If that doesn’t work, he had other tried and true methods in his arsenal. One that works without fail is his loud sighing right next to one ear! If that doesn’t work, one method that will have the human jumping out of bed is to fly over her head and land on the other side with a loud thud! He opted for the last method this morning and I woke up with a start but who cares! All that mattered to him was that his mission got accomplished!

So all my best laid out plans of having a peaceful and no stress Sunday went to hell in a hand basket!

“Coffee, pajamas and no plans – that’s how I Sunday.” Unknown

Not today folks. Chachi has other plans!

Have an amazing Sunday.

Narcissism (Archives)

Narcissism is defined as an “extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them. True narcissists frequently disregard others or their feelings and they do not understand the effect their behavior has on other people.” http://www.webmd.com

Narcissistic personality disorder is considered a mental health condition and it is characterized by a life-long pattern of exaggerated self-importance. It is a pattern of behavior that is often destructive to the people around them. These are self-centeredness, arrogance, lack of empathy, inconsideration for other people and inflated self-importance. Narcissists can be manipulative, selfish and they display a sense of entitlement.

“When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, there is always a whole secret life going on behind your back.” Unknown

A narcissist moves to a different drumbeat, one of their own making. Rules and conventions do not apply to them and if it did, do not expect it to last very long. It lasts only if you accept them on their terms. There is no compromise. Falling in love is a knee-jerk reaction for the narcissist, the emphasis here being on JERK!”

“Narcissistic personality disorder is the only mental condition where the patient is left alone but everyone else needs treatment.” Unknown

They’ll keep the facade going as long as it suits them. Yes, they can play the “nice guy” but only if everything goes according to their plan. If it doesn’t the gloves are off and the real person steps out, someone you never knew was hiding behind the mask they had been wearing.

Narcissist:

“(n): a more polite term for a self-serving manipulative, evil jerk with no soul and compassion.”

If the relationship doesn’t work out like they wanted which is all to their benefit, they’ll move on in a heartbeat without so much as a goodbye because their next victim is already on the line. They will show no remorse, compassion or empathy because they have none to offer. Their feelings only run knee-deep like their emotions. They will lie, cheat, stand on their head and declare on the Bible that it is the absolute truth and nothing but the truth in order to make you question your sanity because that is how they work. It is a form of psychological and emotional abuse all to the detriment of the victim. This often leads to anxiety and stress disorders. Unfortunately, it is hard to recognize a narcissist when approached by one because they don’t have a sign on their forehead that says, “I AM A NARCISSIST! Please beware.” Life would be easier if they did but there is none. You learn from your mistakes and hopefully the damage is minimal.

Never J.A.D.E. with a narcissist-

Justify

Argue

Defend or

Explain

AND

“If you see a narcissist do this….RUN!

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

LOL!

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

At an International Medical Conference:

A British doctor brags to colleagues: “In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we removed a man’s backbone, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he was looking for work.”

The German surgeon replies: “In Germany we removed a section of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he too is looking for work.”

The Russian doctor says: “Gentlemen, we took a beating heart from a man, put it in another’s chest, and in 2 weeks he started a new job.”

The American doctor sighs, saying: “You are all still behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no backbone and he got a job overnight as our President!”

YUP! Nothing more needs to be said!

ENERGY

There are many different things that give me energy throughout my day. The first one is Chachi, the cat, although he wouldn’t consider himself as a thing because he thinks he is a little Pharoah living his best life and using up one of his 9 lives!

The little guy gives me positive energy and that is important. He makes my day a whole lot brighter and listening to him moving around on padded feet gives me energy as well. The other thing that gives me energy are my daily walks in nature. It has been said that nature mirrors the human existence and I find that to be true. However, it also teaches if you are willing to listen. I get comfort from nature and I need a daily dose to keep me moving forward.

A healthy lifestyle definitely gives me energy. Food which is nourishing and full of nutrients is my go to for health and vitality. I do spend time planning my meals and ordering out is a once in a blue moon thing. I’d rather prepare it myself and know what is going in those meals to keep me healthy and full of energy rather than leave it to chance. Exercise is another thing that fills me with energy. It is a daily affair and I love working out so it makes it easier for me.

Breathing, different forms of breathing, is a daily must not the kind that we do as a routine pattern, the in and out variety but the kind that takes effort to clear your mind, gives you clarity and fills you with oxygen! It also helps to balance the brain hemispheres. I feel much better breathing like the yogis did and this practice definitely fills me up with energy.

So there you have it. Those are the things that give me energy and keep me operating at my optimal best. I’m adding as I go along but for now the ones I mentioned above work just fine.

Daily writing prompt

What things give you energy?

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LOL!

Two old men are sitting in a bar. One of them looks at the other and says: “You look familiar. Where you from?”

The second old man replies, “Ireland.”

The first old man looks astonished and says, “No way. I’m from Ireland myself, what a small world.”

The second old man then looks at the first, “What city?”

The first old man says, “Dublin.”

The second old man looks astonished. “No way, I’m from Dublin meself! What a small world.”

The first old man looks at the second old man, “What school you go to?”

The second old man replies, “Saint Mary’s class of 89.”

The first old man is absolutely baffled. “NO WAY! Saint Mary’s class of 89 myself! What a small world!”

At this point, another man comes into the bar and says to the bartender. “Hey Joe! Anything interesting going on?”

The bartender says, “Not really….but the Murphy twins are drunk again.”

😀😀😀

All-Time Favorite Album?

I don’t know about all-time favorite album but there is one that I like. It comes from a guy who is fully tattooed and with a nose-ring to boot. His body is described as an art gallery! Not my type at all, but the music and that voice is powerful and it makes you want to sit and listen for awhile.

I am talking about Teddy Swims. Jaten Dimsdale is his real name and the guy is a powerhouse songwriter who incorporates R&B, soul, pop and country elements in his music. His Tough Love album (2022) was brought to my attention when my friend, the one who passed away, started sending me songs from that album. There were several songs from that album that touched my heart but “Amazing” really did the trick. It was beautiful. It speaks of love, not the hyped-up kind but of the pure and natural variety. The other one he sent me was, “For the Rest of Your Life.”

My friend was in love and he let Teddy Swims do the talking! The other song he sent was, “Is This Love?” by Thomas Anderson. Not a Teddy Swims song but just as romantic. His latest collaboration with Adele, Kiss Me Like It’s The Last Time, is a heartbreaker. It will have your tears flowing. However, if you get a chance and want something good to listen to, Teddy Swims is my pick. If you don’t like his looks, keep your eyes closed! His voice is strong, powerful and it has a certain something. I can’t put my finger on it. Just that I love that album.

Listening to these three songs brought back a lot of memories. He is gone now, my friend, but it’s interesting how songs can bring back so many memories especially the one by Thomas Anderson, “Is this love?” It was the first song he sent when we were just getting to know each other and it has a special place in my heart. I do miss him.

As far as all-time favorite album, Tough Love, is my pick although there are others but this one stands out for all the reasons I mentioned above.

Daily writing prompt

What’s your all-time favorite album?

View all responses

The Dating Sinkhole!

Being on dating websites or portals is hard enough without having to wade through the minefield of “scammers” who come across as the nicest guys on the planet!

It started out as a nice day yesterday until I looked at one of the dating website I was on to see what was going on. Surprisingly, I had many invites. Boys who could be as young as my son, men professing love without even having met me and one guy who seemed like a viable candidate. He was tall, nice-looking and his profile read well or rather, it got my atttention. He was very interested just from reading my profile and my pic which is normal I guess. There is nothing else to go on. Anyway, he was much YOUNGER and I told him, “Sorry, you seem nice but I don’t go for younger men.”

HIM: “Just a few years makes no difference and I don’t care about age. There is something about you that touches me.”

Hmm…..good line and to a lesser individual one not well-versed in “scamming” this would definitely be a pull to jump into that sinkhole! He was dealing with someone else but he wasn’t aware of it yet.

HIM: “Tell me something about yourself and PLEASE give us a chance.!”

So I did tell him a little about myself but kept it general.

HIM: “I like you! There is just something about you, I don’t know what.”

The “something” could be that I am a pro in seeking out and discarding scammers!

HIM: “I am a Director of……a big job and I have a lot of responsibility.”

ME: “That seems like a big job so why interested in me? I’m sure you have a lot of women interested in you. My ex did. Just his job alone brought women out of the woodwork.”

HIM: “Please don’t tar all men with the same brush! I am honest, loyal and I don’t run around!”

This said with righteous indignation. The “I don’t run around part” did appeal to me but there was SOMETHING that wasn’t quite right about this guy. One thing, in one pic he had light hair and in the other he had dark hair! His explanation, when I spend time in the sun, it gets lighter and when not, it is darker. Hmm….but the dark-haired guy doesn’t even look like you! I kept that to myself.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I said alright let’s talk on the phone. Silence from his side. This morning I got a message which told a sad story about him and that he wasn’t in town BUT if I sent him my Whatsapp number, we can stay in touch until he gets back home.

My answer: “Sorry, I don’t give out my number to strangers!”

Nothing so far but I am sure he is plotting something. Scammers! They make online dating a nightmare and a half! However, it is not just the scammers that make traipsing around the dating minefield a horror but the others wearing the mantle of narcissist, married and dating, affair seekers and young men looking for experience! If it is not one, then it is the other.

Lord have mercy!

Update: He just wrote and he says he understands that I am cautious. In today’s world, you can’t be too careful.

HIM: “I’ll be back in town at the weekend. Let’s meet for coffee. We’ll do it your way.”

Hmm….threw me for a loop that one. A nice guy? Should I meet him? What if scammers have evolved and are doing the “meeting” thing now? I don’t know folks but this is perplexing. I’ll keep you updated.

I Choose Peace

“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” Pema Chodron

I took my walk this morning hoping to clear my head of the destructive thoughts that had been given a front-row seat last night. Something happened yesterday that threw my nicely-ordered emotions into chaos and anger emerged with vengeful thoughts ready to take aim and to shoot my opponent down and to slay the dragon with no ifs, ands or buts!

My mom once said, “You’re a Scorpio and like that scorpion you come out ready to sting when backed into a corner.” I tend to agree with her since I’ve put that “stinger” front and center before.

I came face to face with someone who was not only obnoxious but she didn’t give a flying flip about it. Having a discussion with her was like banging your head against a cement wall. Her goal was to get me down to her level and for me to wrestle in the mud with her. I was angry but I kept my cool and walked away patting myself on the back for standing my ground. However, I wanted to put that “stinger” out there and to let her have a dose of her own medicine!

I CHOOSE PEACE!

“Distance is my new answer to inconsistency, disrespect and bullsh*t. My mental peace is my priority. I simply remove access to me.”

The woman in question is a fascist. She was as ugly outside as what she stood for. An old battle-ax who had left her “Nazi” boots back in her closet! There, I’ve said it! Anyway, I spent the evening going over the things that bugged me. The thing is, you can’t talk sense or make someone see the light when they are so steeped in hate, intolerance and ugliness.

I CHOOSE PEACE!

Learn to be done, not mad, not bothered , just done.

Protect your peace at all costs. Unknown

The sun is shining and I just passed the guy with the dog. We are still beating around the bush. Today, I said, “Good morning” as we passed but he was tongue-tied and looked like a statue frozen in time and just stared! Oh well, some things are not meant to be.

I CHOOSE PEACE!

Have an amazing day.