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ANGER (Archives)

A wise man was asked what is anger? He gave a beautiful answer. It is a punishment we give to ourself, for somebody else’s mistake.”

I know that anger has been a constant companion in my life for the last several years. It is a powerful emotion that comes easily when something doesn’t go right or when there is a feeling that someone has done you wrong. Sometimes it motivates you to do better, to let go and move on but at other times there is this other variety that grabs hold and refuses to let go. Fortunately, mine has been of the milder version, it grabs hold, I let it boil for a while and then it subsides and I find ways to deal with it. I have heard some people say that they don’t let anger get the best of them but I say, I DON’T believe you! It is a natural emotion and if you’re human, it is going to affect you one way or another.

A girlfriend once told me that when she gets angry, she gets totally bent out of shape. Her idea of letting out steam was to stick needles in a voodoo doll hoping that her ex-husband’s new girlfriend would feel it from here and to the heavens and back! Whatever floats your boat. Would you call that rage? Perhaps, it is also an emotion that needs reeling in before it becomes something else.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain

Today has not been a good day. It is a beautiful almost spring-like day but the news I got was anything but. My first response was to feel angry and to ask WHY? It went downhill from there. I decided to take a walk to clear my mind and to come up with solutions to my problem. I walked out the front door, turned the corner to head to the open fields and lo and behold, the road was under construction and filled with cranes, men and noise! I felt the anger slowly rising not that it needed much help at this point. I was looking to vent and I just needed an excuse to let it all out.

I kept on walking and soon I was out in the open leaving the chaos behind me. The sky was a perfect blue, the grass a glorious green and to add to the serene picture several rabbits were out in the open and chasing each other and I felt myself deflate. The slow simmer was back to normal and I walked taking in nature’s antidote to anger. I was slowly returning to normal.

“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.” Thomas Jefferson

Or take a walk as I did and let nature help you to see the bigger picture and get you out of the tunnel vision which has the tendency to draw you into the depths of despair.

Deep breathing, meditating, working out, getting into your Zen-Zone can all help to dissipate anger. However, anger is a natural emotion, let it play out or reel it in but don’t let it get out of hand. Know when to get off the anger mode, accept it for what it is, just a temporary obstacle that can be overcome.

Here are more quotes to help you do just that:

“ANGER doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.” Lawrence Douglas Wilder

“You cannot see your reflection in boiling water, similarly you cannot see the truth in a state of anger. When the waters calm clarity comes.” Unknown

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha

Lastly,

Understanding Anger

“The goal isn’t to never feel ANGRY. The goal is to UNDERSTAND your anger and to choose HEALTHY ways to respond to it.” Unknown

My Approach to Budgeting

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I have one simple approach, put a certain amount in savings each month first then I pay the rest of the stuff.

Most of my budgeting is done from a journal meaning no fancy computer spreadsheets like my ex used to do. He could show you down to the penny where the money went and he loved looking at the colorful graphs which showed the ups and downs for the month. He was or rather is a physicist so everything is science-based and often a headache to the less complicated mind! I have a simpler approach. Pay what is due and don’t overspend. Make no debts is my other rule. Living debt-free is liberating so I stick to that whenever possible.

So far it is working out pretty well and since I live in a village where clothes don’t rule the person, I don’t fork out money like I used to. Just a few simple pieces, stylish but more appropriate for the life I lead currently and it works out perfectly fine for me. Having control of my own budget is a great feeling versus letting someone else control it for you and that is one of the perks of not being married!

Daily writing prompt

Write about your approach to budgeting.

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Trump’s Word Fiasco (Archives)

He is now the 47th president and nothing much has changed except that the spin cycle has revved up and is now heading to Timbuktu with no stop in sight it seems! Only now he has a co-president who is the puppet master as well!

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Trump was asked this question at the prestigious Economic Club of New York.

Question: “If you win in November, can you commit to prioritizing legislation to make childcare affordable and what specific piece of legislation will you advance?”

It was a straightforward question coming from the founder of the nonprofit organization Girls Who Code. However, it was one flew over the cuckoo’s nest for Mr. Trump. It had nothing to do with Harris so that took away his power. God, this was a hard one so he went on a nearly two-minute response that made no sense and it did not answer the question either. It was a roundabout way of saying, “I don’t know!” Give me something simple like Kamala’s looks, I’m sure I can do a number on that one!

Trump’s answer: “Well, I would do that, and we’re one sitting down-you know I was, somebody we had Senator Marco Rubio, and my daughter Ivanka was so impactful on that issue. It’s a very important issue. But I think when you talk about the kind of numbers that I’m talking about, that-because look, child care is childcare, it’s – couldn’t, you know, it’s something, you have to have it in this country you have to have it.”

That was just part of his answer but you get the drift. I had a hard time figuring out what ‘Grandpa Trump’ was trying to get across. His sentences, if you can call them that were half-cocked and made no sense but that is Trump tried and true. It was plain gibberish coming out of his mouth and to him, he had given the perfect answer, Trump fashion.

The only thing that was clear is that Trump has no policy commitments other than he wants to win the presidency on the sheer magnitude of his bigger than life persona but alas, that too is fading. How can you make sense out of something that makes no sense. You can’t.

Tomorrow, he’ll be facing his nemesis on the debate stage and it doesn’t bode well for him. Harris will step onstage, her wits about her, her 59-year-old self gleaming, her smile sparkling, hair perfectly coiffed and with answers ready to be shot off as she gets the questions thrown at her. Trump, well, the poor guy will be slaughtered even before he knows what hit him. He’ll claim she had the answers and there was something nefarious going on but if you can’t stand the heat, it’s time to get out of the kitchen!

You need a clear head and lots of commonsense to run a country but if you can’t even give a clear answer to a policy question than it’s time for you to hang up your political shoes. Let’s not forget, he couldn’t even complete his sentences so that they made some kind of sense was more than alarming. ‘Grandpa Trump’ it’s time for you to go.

Love Sundays

I’ve got Norah Jones singing, “Sunrise, sunrise,” and the mellow sounds of a voice that is smooth as silk is helping to calm an overactive mind. If that doesn’t work, I have Katie Melua on standby!

“Sunday is a good day to save the world in one’s pyjamas.” Adrienne Posey

If you ask me, that concept works everyday! Sunday is a day to rest and relax and maybe do some of the things you’ve been neglecting to do during the week. I’ve got two loads of laundry to do, it’s a must because I’m running out of fresh PJs! You know how I love hanging around in them.

“Sunday. Take it slow and give your soul a chance to catch up with your body.” Unknown

I really need a facial so I’m going to give myself one today. The mask is out and in a little while I’ll be looking like the creature that walked out of the Black Lagoon. Conditioning the hair is next. Long hair needs care and mine is looking a little down in the dumps lately. Half an hour of the nourishing mask should do the trick to have it back to its shiny bouncy self! There are a few more things to do as far as self-care is concerned but I’ll keep them to myself!

“Sunday is the day to give yourself all the love and care you didn’t on weekdays.” Unknown

Right now, I’ve got my little guy, Chachi, the cat, or “Einstein” as he wants to be called cuddling up next to me and purring up a storm. I’ve turned up the volume and Norah is on to:

When I saw the break of day

I wished that I could fly away

Instead of kneeling in the sand

Catching tear-drops in my hand.

Hmm…..the lady has the smoothest voice and it makes me want to fly away as well!

I don’t love Sundays as I should because that “overactive” mind has time to reflect and when it does there is no stopping it! However, Ms. Jones is doing a great job of soothing the unruly beast!

Have a great Sunday.

Change (Archives)

A Series on Getting Back on Track

“Your new life is going to cost you your old one.

It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction.

It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. It’s going to cost you being liked, and understood. But it doesn’t matter. Because the people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. And you’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward.

And instead of liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of understood, you’re going to be seen. All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are. Let it go.” Brianna West

Change is never-ending. It is scary but it brings you one step closer to who or what you want to be. It moves you out of your comfort zone and at times it will feel like you are being thrown into the deep end of the pool, sink or swim is your choice. I hope you swim.

Looking back at my life and the things that have held me back, I realize much of it was tied in with stupidity and emotions I could have done without. I could have learned the lessons in a shorter period of time instead of dragging it on but I didn’t.

This thing called love could have been easier on me. I could have made it easier but I wasn’t strong enough. I was in a vulnerable state and it seemed to attract the wrong types because vulnerability is often an invitation which says, “Here I am, come break me!” I should have walked when I saw that it was a foregone conclusion and my holding on would not change the outcome. It never did. I will do better I promise myself. I will let go when I see the truth staring me in the face and walk away with my dignity intact and with my heart back where it belongs. I will let go before it drags me down to where I often find myself, right down at ground zero but the changes took a long time coming.

I am stronger today than I was yesterday. My heart still speaks the language of love but it no longer speaks stupid. This journey I am on has changed me. The weak or vulnerable one has been replaced with someone who is confident, capable and someone who knows who she is and what she wants out of life. Something inside me screams, “I am woman, hear me roar!” Scary? Well, if you’re the type of man I am accustomed to, then you should be. I am looking to be loved but with eyes open this time. Working on myself is a mindful and daily affair and when I finally step out of my comfort zone, the journey will be complete but change is a lifelong journey and it will be a never-ending one. I can handle it I tell myself because I am no longer who I used to be.

“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.” Abraham Maslow

AND

“Change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Roy T. Bennett

Have an amazing day.

Am I Patriotic?

I don’t know and I haven’t given much thought to it. I care about what happens to my country, I take pride when it strives and there are achievements made but I also sit up and take notice when someone or a group of individuals try to bring it down.

I have a deep abiding love for my country and a sense of attachment to it so you can call that being patriotic I suppose. Unlike the friend who passed away, he took it one step further. He was a “hero” in every sense of the word and a true patriot to boot. His mission was to protect and serve the country he loved at any cost even if it meant laying his life down for it. I am in no way close to that.

So I think I am patriotic in one sense and in another perhaps not so much.

Daily writing prompt

Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?

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RUMI

Jalal al-Din Rumi was a 13th century poet. He was born in Afghanistan and he was a Sufi mystic whose poetry embraces themes of “overcoming fear and persevering through challenges.” He speaks of finding strength in vulnerability and to be grateful for whatever comes. I find courage and beauty in his words and it touches my soul AND his words are one of great wisdom.

“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”

I do act small when first faced with adversity but it is only a matter of time before I rise again knowing that I can deal with this too.

“I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.”

This one speaks to who I am, I am one with nature and I find freedom with the animals and the bird life and often I want to sing like I used to as a young child not caring who listens or who is watching. I do that with my writing too.

“If everything around you seems dark, look again, you may be the LIGHT.”

Simply beautiful and when darkness surrounds seeing the light in you doesn’t seem like a bad thing to me.

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

This one tugged at my heart when I first saw it. My first thought, I don’t feel the light but he is speaking of another kind of light, the kind that teaches and heals.

“The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.”

Moving on requires acceptance and that is precisely the point here. Done that many times over.

“When you go through a hard period, when everything seems to oppose you, when you feel you cannot even bear one more minute, NEVER GIVE UP! Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!”

I guess you have to hit ground zero before life turns around. Can we make it a little easier please?

“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”

This one makes grieving a little less painful, at least it did for me.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

This last one is so poetic. Yes I wanted to change the world, I still do but nowadays it is more about changing “me” first.

Have an amazing day.

Friends

“Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.” Unknown

Yesterday, I got an unexpected message from a friend I hadn’t seen or heard from in a long while.

It said: “Hi T, checking on you, you doing ok?”

I replied I had hurt my knee and he said, “Cut back on the workouts! Wrap it up or put a band on it.”

We talked about meeting up when the weather turned and got better. It was short and sweet but “friends” are just that. They show up when least expected and they show concern and caring for your well-being.

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” Eleanor Roosevelt.

There are many types of friendships. However, to call someone a friend, “the relationship must be long-lasting, it must be positive, and it must involve cooperation.” The deepest type of friendship is “one in which we feel seen and loved for exactly who we are,” and the lowest form is the user-based type. “It is the kind that is based on selfishness and instability” and it is all take but when there is no more giving to be had, it unravels and disappears.

I choose who my friends are carefully, therefore, I don’t have a huge friendship circle. I have acquaintances who I meet infrequently but I don’t let them into my heart, only a few make it there. Fair weather friends they are aplenty and there are those who profess to love you but when you need a shoulder to lean on, they are nowhere to be seen.

“When friendships are real, they are not glass threads or frost work, but the solidest things we can know.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Choose your friends carefully or who you call or give the label of “friend” to. Friends matter but keep in mind that quality is better than quantity. Give your true friends the loving and caring they deserve and keep them close to your heart because sometimes they take the place of family and that is saying a whole lot.

“Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it’s good just knowing they’re there.” Unknown

I’ll finish by saying, “Thank you, you made my day,” to the friend who called out of the blue. Yes, I’ll cut back on the workouts and I’ll remember I’m not a spring chicken anymore but my body still thinks I am!

Have an amazing day.

Broken the Law?

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I must say I am getting to the point that I wake up each morning wondering what the “daily writing prompt” is going to be today. It never fails to amaze me the questions you guys come up with! However, it gets my mind thinking after breakfast and it is a good start to the day.

That said, I can say with all honesty that I have never intentionally or unintentionally broken the law. I am a Ms. Goody Two Shoes type and following the rule of law is written into my DNA. However when I was 17, I met a guy and he invited me to this party. I didn’t know what kind of party it was at the time but I found out soon enough. They were passing “brownies” around. I took one thinking it was just a brownie! I had never done cigarettes, drugs or alcohol for that matter before then so I had no clue. Within minutes, I was out of my mind! I was hallucinating and got really scared. I could hear them debating if they should take me to the hospital and a few minutes later they turned the shower on me! Luckily I got home safe that night, mad as hell but none the worse for wear.

It was a scary experience but it taught me to stay away from ALL that is not good for me. Some say, I have a stick up my you know what but that’s okay I don’t mind. To answer your question I don’t think that I broke any law but according to my parents I DID!

Daily writing prompt

Have you ever unintentionally broken the law?

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Trump’s Modus Operandi!

His first term was nothing compared to what he’s doing now. Has cognitive decline set in and is it in full-force?

I was reading an interesting article by Evan Soloman called, “Trump’s Empire State of Mind.” It goes like this:

“From his threats to make Canada the 51st state, buy Greenland, reclaim the Panama Canal, and, almost implausibly, “take” the Gaza Strip, Trump isn’t hiding his ambitions.” He further adds, that Trump’s empire state of mind was front and center on Tuesday when he met with King Abdullah II of Jordan and declared or made a promise to take Gaza and “clean out the whole thing – choice words not lost on anyone remotely familiar with the worst crimes under international law – the meeting was expected to be about as uncomfortable for the royal as a crown of porcupine quills.” It was.

When asked under what authority he would take the Gaza Strip. The president replied without flinching, “Under the US authority.”

All ravings of a madman?

Add Musk’s cut, slash and burn antics and you’ve got what Rep. Hakeem Jeffries referred to as the “far-right” administration. We’re not giving a “flying flip” is the message from the current administration and if it hurts the very people who voted him in, who cares? He’s in and that’s all that matters.

Fast forward to the press conference with PM Modi and it is plain to see he’s not all there or rather “intelligence” and “commonsense” was missing royally. Does he even know what AI stands for? It is definitely what is in his head and what comes out doing leaps and bounds whenever he opens his mouth. Add his stunted grasp of the English language AND vocabulary of which a few words stand out like a sore thumb. “A lot,” “huge,” and “tremendous,” and you’ve got Trump’s delusional empire state of mind!