grit – Site Title

The Downer!

September 4th is approaching and it seems to be flying in on wings! I’ve managed to keep my mood up but last night, it went crushing down and I was back to Square 1.

We never think about health or rather we take it for granted until something unexpected crops up that could put a new spin or twist on things. This current “scare” could potentially do that and maybe even change my day-to-day existence as I know it.

I went spiralling down last night. Once I hit rock bottom, it was time to sit up and take notice of where I was. I had fought so hard to crawl out of that rabbit hole and wowed never to go back down there again. Life in its wisdom had other plans or so it seems. However, you’re allowed to spiral and you’re allowed to hit rock bottom because “the journey” is not going to be smooth sailing and I am aware of that. You will stand still at some point and you will hit rock bottom again and wonder what happened. Life did. Take stock of where you’re at but don’t stay there for too long. It’s time to dust off and stand back up. There is no other choice.

Someone told me this story of a young man in his 40s, picture of health until he went in for a routine checkup. The scan showed one brain tumor. His partner asked, “How long does he have?” The doctor replied, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” The young man, however, did not seem fazed by the news and was ready to take another trip. He can’t do anything about it so he was not going to waste a lot of time thinking about what might lie ahead of him and instead decided to enjoy the time he had.

Another friend told me to just go read my articles! Basically, he was saying I should take the same advice I was putting out there!

They both mean well but they’re not walking in my shoes. I’m scared and that is okay. I don’t want to take the test because a tube of radiation material will be injected into my tiny tiny veins! Believe me, they are tiny. More than that, the idea of that liquid invading my body makes me cringe. What might show up is another story altogether.

So I spent time sitting at the bottom of that rabbit hole, and let the tears flow. Sometimes crying is not a bad thing. I made up all the sorry stories I could and added and embellished like I would a Christmas tree. When all was said and done, it was time to crawl back out of the hole and to start moving again. I still have more than a week before I meet my nemesis, not cheesecake this time but that big machine which may or may not change my life.

Fingers and toes crossed and a kiss on Chachi, the cat’s cute little nose for good luck!

YOU ARE ENOUGH (Archives)

“You are enough, just as you are.” Meghan Markle

The Duchess of Sussex shared this quote in an interview and how right she is.

How many times have we questioned if we are really enough? How many times have we said if only I was thinner, prettier, more popular, had more friends than life would be better, simpler and I would be enough. More times than you can count on your fingers right? I know I have.

I think to be enough you have to start by loving yourself first. It is not about what society expects of you, the impossible goals it puts out there so that achieving some of them takes us to never never land and leaves us wanting but never quite attaining what is the norm or considered the norm in today’s society of much ado about nothing.

Beyonce said:

“Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.”

I will add, love yourself first and you’re halfway there. Look in the mirror and give yourself a big hug and say, “I love you warts and all!” Yes warts because we do carry those unseen warts around with us. Just the other day someone said to me, “You are your worst critic.” He is right but more appropriately I am my own worst enemy. When I look into that mirror first thing in the morning, I see all that is wrong and those warts, those invisible ones take shape and have the power to obliterate if I allow them. These days, I see someone genuine with potential staring back at me. I smile, give myself a hug and go on my way.

So many of us go through life carrying the burden of I don’t measure up. It is easy to do in this world of ours where perfection and beauty are key buzzwords and measuring up is an uphill task. However, these are just two words. Honesty, integrity, dependability, good-heartedness, helpfulness and so on are all words that carry so much worth that they have the power to blow those two other words, beauty and perfection to kingdom come! Look at you, the real you and you will know that you my friend are enough as you are.

Someone close to me said, “I don’t know if I can make it.” Despair, frustration and a fear of the future are the monsters he will have to slay. He’s at a standstill but this is nothing new. I’ve been there and so have you when the day seems unfathomable and all you want to do is turn out the light, shut out the world and go within yourself and stay there for awhile.

“Today I feel like putting on the “OUT OF ORDER” sticker on my head and going back to bed.” Unknown

However, the trick is in knowing when to crawl out of bed, remove that sign and take life by its reins and to say, “I am enough as I am. You won’t defeat me!”

You are capable, you have the power within you to achieve the impossible and you my friend are stronger than you think!

YOU ARE ENOUGH!

“My mission should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.” Anais Nin

Have an amazing day.

Keep Going (Archives)

I wrote this last year and things have changed but I am still working on the project, the project being me. There is still work to be done.

The path ahead is unclear. It is scary. It is often filled with obstacles which we have to cross to make it up that mountain. We find ourselves on our way and then we take a tumble and we find ourselves not back to square one but somewhere in between and that is where I am now.

The weekend was filled with uncertainties and all my good intentions seemed to have flown out the window. I thought I was doing so well only to find that being on my way, moving on from the here and now is a long process. It doesn’t happen overnight and neither does it happen in a few days, a few weeks or a few months. It is an ongoing process which involves falling, picking yourself back up and having the courage to say, “Here I go again!”

“When you walk in the fire, you start becoming fireproof.” Hiral Nagada

I spent the weekend looking for excuses as to why I CAN’T do this and that is often the case with me. It is easier to look for excuses than to move on. Fear is another factor which plays into my inner being and that little voice within, the one that acts like a little kid keeps tugging and keeps saying you are not capable of making it to the other side. However, there is this other voice which refuses to give up and if given the chance, it will become a deafening roar that pushes me to my limits and lets me know that there is strength, unbeatable strength within and all I need to do is stand back up and start moving. Just remember that it will get worse before it gets better it says and that is the truth.

It takes time, it takes effort and it takes hard work to get to the top of the mountain and there will be times when I will take a fall and land where I don’t want to be, lost in my own excuses of why I can’t move on. Acknowledge but don’t get too comfortable where you are. It is a no man’s land and you want better so stand back up and look towards that open door and go through it because failure is not an option.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” Mary Ann Radmacher

Also remember that failure is a choice, standing still is not an option and walking away from things that keep you from achieving your goals is the right thing to do no matter how painful it is. Let go of things which don’t serve you and make the commitment to keep going and you will arrive at where you need to be. My mission for this week is to keep moving, one step at a time and to keep going.

“No matter how bad things are right now.

No matter how stuck you feel,

No matter how many days you’ve spent wishing things were different,

No matter how hopeless and depressed you feel,

I promise you won’t feel this way forever.” Unknown

Here’s a story of hope. Last year, I uprooted a peony bush because it was growing too close to a fence and its growth was being stunted. I decided to move it to a smaller area where I thought it would thrive. There was a risk that it might not survive the process at all. All through winter, it looked like it had died. A week ago, I noticed that it was sprouting! Today, when I walked out the front door I noticed that new leaves were forming and it was budding and there were five buds on this tiny plant. Perhaps, it is a lesson from nature that even in the deepest darkest of times when we think all is lost, life is working its magic to show us that patience wins out and “better” is on its way.

If all else fails, remember that it is not Amazon Prime, the delivery doesn’t happen in one or two days!

IT TAKES TIME.

Have an amazing day.