WHAT NOW?!!

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“What now is not just a panic-striken question tossed into a dark unknown. What now can also be our joy. It is a declaration of possibility of promise, of chance. It acknowledges that our future is open, that we may well do more than anyone expected of us, that at every point in our development we are still striving to grow.” Ann Patchett

However, I am at a point where I feel like I’m stuck in mud or more appropriately moving through thick gooey mud and each excruciating step forward is a struggle in itself. The cowardly me wants to throw up her hands and to stop, take a breath and spend the days sitting in the garden with only the birds, bees and the insects for company. I am SAFE.

That’s the conundrum right there. It is not about feeling safe. It is about finding that right guy and making the right decisions for my life. It takes work to get to the end goal and I know that the right person is not just going to fall into my lap like manna from heaven. It takes working on me, knowing what I want, what I won’t tolerate and when to say NO to those who are just a waste of time and a drain on my emotional resources. So far so good. Then the doubts started creeping in and along came the fears, the uncertainties but most of all not knowing where to go next has been bugging me for the last week or so. I’m where Alice was when she had that conversation with the Cheshire Cat. It goes like this:

Alice: “Would you tell me please, which way I ought to go from here?”

Cheshire Cat: “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”

Alice: “I don’t much care where.”

Cheshire Cat: “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”

Alice: “So long as I get somewhere.”

Cheshire Cat: “Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”

I don’t want to keep moving forward if “somewhere” is going to be good enough. It isn’t and neither is aimless wandering. I have a specific goal in mind. Perhaps, this wading through mud is normal in the grand scheme of things and not everything is going to go as smoothly as I want it to go. When has it ever? So why not stop and take that well-deserved break? I’ve been working hard on discarding the “old me” and I see someone new emerging from the shadows. She is stronger, more decisive and she knows what she wants. There is still work to be done but I have a feeling it will all fall in place when the time is right. The end goal is to get to the other side of the here and now. What would be waiting there? I don’t know but unlike Alice in Wonderland, this much I know. I care about where I’m headed.

“Sometimes not having any idea where we’re going works out better than we could possibly have imagined.” Unknown

Fingers and toes crossed!

Have an amazing day.

Collections?

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I don’t know if I should answer this question!

I used to have a shoe tick but that is wearing off as I can’t wear most of them here. Heels and cobblestones don’t go together. Decluttering helped get rid of several pairs of shoes but with a heavy heart.

I do have one collection that is gathering dust simply because my constant companion now is a hiking rucksack! I am talking about my bag collection and I have one in almost every color and designer. You name it and I have it. Why?

Clothes , shoes, bags and jewelry used to mean a lot during my working days. My current laid-back style of living doesn’t require the same meticulous way of dressing to the nines. I have been recouping and parting ways with a lot of my collections but those bags are something else altogether. They are lined up on top of cupboards, in cupboards and in the cellar. Get the picture?

Some I bought myself but most are gifts from a close friend who thought the way to my heart was to buy me an expensive bag each time a special occasion rolled by. It didn’t quite work but my bag collection started growing and I won’t say how many I have but it is a huge collection. All brand spanking new too! One day I will gather up my no nonsense attitude and sell them or part ways with them but for now they are gathering dust and grinning at me just like that cheesecake does!

My Legacy

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When my son and friends think back about me, I want them to say she was a good person with a good heart and she used her time here on earth as a vessel for spreading good.

A friend told me a week ago that I am the least egotistical person he knows. It was in reply to my telling him that someone had called me “egotistical.” I think I am kind, compassionate, gentle, loving and trustworthy. Add to that a person who is always working for the good of others and you’ve got my spirit down pat. I think the quote below says it all.

“The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.” Unknown

When my time on earth is done, I want my legacy to say, “She was a good person.”

LOL!

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A doctor started having an affair with his nurse. Shortly after this started, she announced that she had become pregnant. Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave her a large amount of money and asked her to go out of the country to Germany to wait out the pregnancy and have the baby over there.

“But how will you know when our baby is born?” she asked.

“Well,” he said, “after you’ve had the baby, just send me a postcard and write ‘sauerkraut’ on the back.”

Not knowing what else to do, she took the money and went off to Germany. Six months went by and then one day the doctor’s wife called him at his office.

“Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today,” she explained. “I don’t understand what it means!”

“Just wait until I get home and I’ll read it,” he replied. Later that evening, the doctor came home and read his postcard, which said:

“Sauerkraut, Sauerkraut, Sauerkraut. Two with wieners. One without!”

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Relationship Arithmetic:

Smart man + smart woman = romance.

Smart man + dumb woman = affair.

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage.

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy.

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Guess I should go back to writing something productive?

Cold Weather Blues

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I’m just kidding. I love cold weather! Strange? Not really. I’ve lived in the tropics and I used to enjoy running wild along the beach or in the jungles as a young girl and it was fantastic at that point in my life, but as I grew older and moved to Europe, my mindset changed. I wouldn’t say for the better but something shifted and I became a fan of cold weather.

Most people love summer but in Europe where air-conditioning is seen as a sin or rather as not being environmentally-friendly, people sweat it out for all the wrong reasons I think but that is just my opinion. Plus, there are those who think that going deodorant-free is a good thing. All fine and good but try standing in line at the supermarket and imbibing all that goodness!

I usually wait for fall when the weather turns and everything has a nicer feeling about it. Walking becomes a pleasurable activity again and sweating takes a backseat. I love it when the first snow hits and everything is pristine and covered in white but ice is something I can do without. I’d rather stay home when it is icy outside but it doesn’t happen that often so that is another good thing.

I’ll take cold weather all year round! Weirdo? Call me whatever but I simply love bundling up in heavy coats although they’ve made them light as air now which is another plus and add all the other accessories such as gloves, scarves and the rest and I’m in wonderland!

LIVING LIFE

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I don’t know who wrote this but I find these 7 rules to be very helpful in my life so thought I’d share.

7 RULES OF LIFE

LET IT GO

Never ruin a good day by thinking about a bad yesterday.

IGNORE THEM

Don’t listen to other people. Live a life that’s empowering to you.

GIVE IT TIME

Time heals everything.

DON’T COMPARE

The only person you should try to beat is the person you were yesterday.

STAY CALM

It’s okay not to have everything figured out. Know that in time, you’ll get there.

IT’S ON YOU

Only you are in charge of your happiness.

SMILE

Life is short. Enjoy it while you have it.

I like the last one a lot!

Have an amazing day.

Ever Broken a Bone?

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Hmm….not that I can remember. I recall one time when I was in a hurry. I had just got out of the shower and had minutes to get to where I needed to go. The floor was wet but I rushed out of the bathroom and then had to run back in to get something when I slipped and hit the side of the bathtub really hard.

I felt a searing pain shoot up my ribs on the right side. The fall knocked the wind out of me. I stood up slowly, felt around to see what I had done but except for the pain nothing else seemed to be amiss. I got dressed and took off to pick someone up at the train station. It was almost midnight and I needed to hurry.

I made it there and as I sat there at the train station, I wondered if I had broken a rib or two. The person finally got there and I told him what had happened. He suggested that I see a doctor the next day. The next morning, I was bruised, the pain was there but not as bad. I didn’t see a doctor, I am stubborn that way. I rubbed some ointment on it, refrained from doing my workouts and after a week of tender loving care, it got better.

That was the closest I came to breaking something. TOUCH WOOD!

The Best Laid Plans…..

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“Sundays – sleep until you’re hungry, then eat until you’re sleepy.” Unknown

I had something like that in mind when I went to bed last night. I had finished my meditation ritual and all was calm in my part of the world. Chachi, the cat, was taking it all in stride because by now he knew the human well and when she donned one of her, two sizes too big t-shirts, it meant lights out and quiet time was around the corner. It was time to toe the line.

Chachi behaved and I had a goodnight’s sleep. I had visions of spending most of Sunday in bed having breakfast delivered in bed by my non-existent robotic chef! All the plans were laid-out in my head and I was looking forward to a peaceful Sunday.

You guessed it! Chachi, aka, Little Einstein and the Little Brat had other plans. Sundays are just like any other day so at 5:30 in the morning, he started his usual, “wake the human up” routine. This involves tapping on the head. If that doesn’t work, he had other tried and true methods in his arsenal. One that works without fail is his loud sighing right next to one ear! If that doesn’t work, one method that will have the human jumping out of bed is to fly over her head and land on the other side with a loud thud! He opted for the last method this morning and I woke up with a start but who cares! All that mattered was mission accomplished!

He did exactly that and all my best laid out plans of having a peaceful and no stress Sunday went to hell in a hand basket!

“Coffee, pajamas and no plans – that’s how I Sunday.”

Not today folks. Chachi has other plans!

Have an amazing Sunday.

Balancing Work and Home Life

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Nothing much to say here. I am my own “boss” meaning I work from home so I do as I please. However, I do have a routine of sorts.

First thing’s first. A light breakfast is a must and add a cup of hot coffee and I am good to go. Then comes a walk or meditation or both. After that my real day starts. Quite often it has to do with writing. Some days I add a few more pages to the novel and on other days I let it all drift!

Playing with Chachi, the cat, is a must. Cleaning house and keeping things tidy is something I do everyday. I am a neat freak. Chachi doesn’t make it easy. He wears a fur coat and today as I was coming up the stairs, I noticed tufts of hair on the carpet! I yelled, “Chachi, what is this?”

He answered, “It’s hair mommy! I can’t help it!”

Another once-over with the vacuum did the job and the dark brown carpet is as good as new. The routine is boring but I do a good job of balancing both. Work is down to a very boring level but who cares! I’m loving it.

Five Ways to Transform

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If you’re looking for ways to transform your life, here are five tips that will get you on your way. These five rules come from Buddhist teachings and if applied daily and in the mornings before your daily grind starts or even before having your first cup of coffee, they will help you to see life in a different light. I’ve been practicing these five rules for about a week now and it has made me calmer, more in tune with myself and believe it or not, my mind is under control as well!

Find a quiet spot and take three deep breaths to center yourself. Repeat each affirmation two or three times to let it sink in and take hold.

I am grateful for this new day.

Really simple but not so simple for some of us. Gratefulness needs to be learned and if practiced daily, it can transform your life in a positive way. Come up with one or two things you are grateful for and go from there.

Let go of yesterday.

This is a hard one. How often do we carry “yesterday” and all its disappointments, anger and sadness like an albatross around our necks? More often than not is the answer. Let go and let yesterday lie where it should. It is done with and today is a brand new day to make it all better.

I am calm and in control of my mind.

It has been said, “Rule your mind or it will rule you.” This simply means, “you have the power to train your thoughts and control your mental state, rather then being controlled by your thoughts and emotions.” Be in the present and use conscious effort to train your mind to shape the thoughts you entertain. “Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.” Guard them with care.

I will respond with kindness today.

Listen without judgment or interruption. Show appreciation for the people around you and an act of goodwill doesn’t hurt either. Wear a smile while you’re doing it and change the world one act at a time.

Everything is temporary.

Know that change is inevitable, it will come whether you want it or not. Nothing is forever except change so learn to let go when it happens. Accepting impermanence can help you to appreciate the present moment and adjust to new situations as they happen.

Five rules to live by but it takes practice to get it down pat and to apply it to your life. Not easy but with practice it is doable. Good luck and see you on the other side of a life well-lived! 👍