There are three activities that I have come to love in my search for peace and serenity. They are walking, workouts, and meditation.
These three things have helped to forge a way out of situations I find myself in and they have helped to bring a sense of cohesiveness to my life. It didn’t happen overnight, it took time and a certain mindset to keep at getting better.
Walking is my go to when I need to clear my mind of all negative thoughts and just 2o minutes out in nature helps me to do just that. It is free and all it takes is to get out there and see what remedies “nature” in its all-knowing wisdom has to offer if you are willing to listen that is. It may seem like a mindless activity but it is not.
Working out is a daily companion. I work out seven days a week and I don’t stick to one thing. It gets boring that way. I switch it around. Some days it is cardio, some days weight training, some days Pilates and some days Yoga. Whatever I choose to do, Chachi, the cat, is right there working alongside! More like standing right in front of me and waiting to be picked up and kisses rained down on him! That’s his allure to working out. It works just fine for the both of us.
Meditation, well I can’t live without it. It is a big part of my day and one that helps to center and to bring calm into my life. It also helps the “monkey” I call my brain to take a seat and to be quiet for a while.
These are activities that are part and parcel of my life. Simple things, non-materialistic but I find Nirvana in them and they will continue to be a part of my existence.
A victim is defined as “a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action or it could be “a person who is tricked or duped,” or “a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.”
Which are you? Where do you fit in the victim modus because if you’re a victim you will identify with one or the other of the descriptions above. I relate to the last two.
“You only get to be a victim once. After that, you’re a volunteer.” Unknown
I’m not quite sure that I fully agree with that sentiment. I’ve been a victim many times over and each time I tell myself I’ll do better the next time around but when the next time rolls around as it inevitably does, I get dragged in to the same outcomes. Basically, pain, disbelief and anger. Does this mean that I’m ‘volunteering’ to relive victimhood over and over again. Or does it mean that I didn’t learn what not to do the first time around and haven’t learned from my mistakes? Probably both.
“The victim mindset will have you dancing with the devil, then complaining that you’re in hell.” Unknown
I didn’t even know I was a victim until it blindsided me which made it harder to bear. I was a relationship victim, more specifically a victim of deceit and I was the woman who got left behind. However, instead of picking myself back up and moving on, I chose to “dance with the devil.” It took years of soul-searching, of blaming myself for his indiscretions and worst of all cutting myself down to size and way beyond to realize that I was the perfect victim. I must say, I played the role well. I went through the five phases of grief which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It doesn’t often play out that way and it doesn’t always happen in that order either because sometimes you are not given the chance to grieve because the ‘devil’ that caused the problem in the first place keeps hanging on and so there is no closure or learning from your mistakes. Since then, I’ve played ‘volunteer’ if you want to call it that to similar circumstances. However, I am learning not to play victim to circumstances I created myself meaning I knew from the get go what I was getting myself into and that I only have myself to blame for what followed. Is there something about the familiarity of the situation that reels you in or makes you want to play in the mud puddles knowing full well that you’ll get dirty but the “LURE” is just too much to resist? Perhaps. I am trying to change that.
“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.” Eckhart Tolle
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will find myself along the same avenue at a later point in my life, not because I haven’t learned but because life happens and being a victim is woven into my being perhaps because I am too nice, too naive or I am the perfect victim type. Whatever the case maybe, I also know that if it happens again, I am fully equipped to ‘slay the monster,’ and put it to rest where it belongs because I have learned along the way and I am moving on.
“The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: he or she has become a threat.” Unknown
So watch out whoever you are! If you’re here to play games, you better get going. I will no longer volunteer to be your victim. I’ve outgrown the “victim mentality” and I’m on my way equipped with everything that is needed to put those who love or enjoy victimizing people where they belong and that is in the annals of hell!
“We’re sorry, your request for victim status has been denied. You are being referred to the Big Girl Panties Department. Please stand by.”
What movies or TV series have I watched more than 5 times? This is easy, I don’t think any. The most I’ve watched something I like is maybe twice.
Two movies come to mind both with Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt in starring roles. The first one was “Meet Joe Black.” I loved this one and both actors did a superb job with their roles. Some may say a boring movie but I found it interesting and it combined both romance and the supernatural so it was spell-binding.
The other was “Legends of the Fall.” Here again, it combined romance and a family’s fight to survive a corrupt system. The scenery was more than beautiful and the underlying issue of love, the forbidden kind was front and center.
I loved both of them but I’ve watched them maybe twice. Five times? I think it takes just two or three times to have something imprinted on your mind and to know every upcoming scene. Five times might be overdoing it just a little.
Daily writing prompt
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
I don’t think I have to add anything more to this piece. It speaks for itself. Rule of law is nowhere to be seen as far as this president is concerned. We are in a “war” and still he keeps touting his horn. Diplomacy is not what he’s about, “hot air” from both ends is the norm! Where is this going to lead? Wait and see is the approach but it is not doing any good. Peace is not earned through saber rattling and a clear mind with strategic focus is needed to achieve that goal. However, those two components are clearly missing in this scenario and that right there is the problem!
The 47th President, Donald John Trump was sworn in with pomp and circumstance and the celebrations still continue as Americans celebrate, well some are while others look on with mistrust and even horror at a new era of who knows what. Coming back to the inauguration, it was a peaceful transfer of power and it was for all purposes democracy in action as it should be. Remember what happened 4 years ago when Trump lost and the instigated attack that ensued on the Capitol? This time around there was none of that and you know why.
The new president has promised, “Your head will spin when you see what’s going to happen,” referring to his plans for Day 1 of his administration. Nothing new here because President Trump is known to run before he can walk.
On the agenda are immigration raids in major metropolitan areas to deport undocumented migrants. Following that or perhaps not in that order are the January 6, 2021 defendants waiting for pardons to be handed down which Trump has promised and others across the globe will be awaiting to see what plans he will put in action as far as “tariffs, land grabs and an end to grinding wars.” He has promised to issue more than 100 executive actions during his first week in office.
A new sheriff is in town folks and he’s going to make it be known that he’s the boss. All just hot air? It could be but it could be different this time around according to one of his advisors as told to CNN. “We want to come in and show just how serious we are. Trump is back, it’s go time. Like a shock to the system.”
Hmm….
Yes folks, the spin cycle is on and it will be dizzying to say the least. What about retribution? Remember he promised to “investigate and punish his adversaries, especially those involved in his four prosecutions and the congressional investigation of the Jan 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol. However, President Biden might have made a preemptive strike on that one. Joe Biden has issued last minute pardons to Anthony Fauci, retired Gen. Mark Milley and members of the House Committee that investigated the Jan 6 attack on the Capitol, including former Representative Liz Cheney.
Did this move take the wind out of Trump’s sails? You can bet your bottom dollar it did but who knows what else he has up his sleeve. All will be made clear in time as a new Trump era dawns in Washington. Will we see a kinder, gentler and classier Trump now that he has the tech giants by his side or will it be business as usual. You know the schoolyard bullying antics of throwing temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. Will there be more of the same?
I think the real Trump will show up sooner or later. It is just a matter of time before he steps out thumping his nose at rule of law. Donald J. Trump is not known for “grace under pressure” and so I say, don’t hold your breath as far as the person he presented yesterday, the one who wants to Make America Again and his role as a peacemaker and unifier notwithstanding all the promises he rolled out. Many have tried and failed and if it was as easy as that, it would have been done already. The problem is wanting it and getting it are two different concepts altogether. It takes more than a scripted speech to do that and he is fully aware of it or perhaps not.
One thing is for sure, there will be much for the press to talk about, to decipher and shred as he takes office and goes about showing America and the world that he is the “new Messiah” and only he and he alone can right the wrongs and get everyone back on track. A big job for an old man who can’t even keep his thoughts in line, let alone one who has trouble making complete sentences that make sense!
Good luck and may God Bless America and the rest of the world.
We do it everyday without giving it much thought. Each day requires that you put one foot in front of the other and to keep moving forward. The unknown is scary, the future hazy, and not knowing adds to the whole shebang. However, standing still in one spot is not going to do it even if it feels right at the time and digging in your heels and thumping your nose at whatever is in front of you is a no go either. Move forward….you must if you want to get somewhere in life.
“If I’ve learned anything in life, is that sometimes things get in your path and you have a choice: you can either smash right into them or you can adjust and move around, but you have to do one or the other in order to move forward.” Unknown
According to one source, “moving forward is essential for personal growth, overcoming adversity, and unlocking new opportunities, acting as a “cure” for stagnation, regret, and unhealthy fixation on the past.”
Staying fixated on the past is something that all of us are experts on. We can give a run down on how to do that with a smile plastered on our faces, that’s because we’ve done it numerous times. I know I have. I think the “fixation” comes from the familiarity of the past, we know it well, good or bad. Moving forward is a whole different story altogether. Who wants to move forward when the path forward is unclear and there could be a quagmire of sorts waiting for you there. It is risky business but it needs to be done if you want to get anywhere in life.
“Sometimes in order to move on, you have to accept that some things will just never go back to how they used to be no matter how much you want them to.” Unknown
Moving forward also requires strength, a single-minded focus, and the will to survive whatever is coming your way. You have to trust that all will be well as you put that foot forward hoping that whatever is waiting out there will treat you kindly and lead you on the path to success. Here’s the thing, if you’ve got one foot back there, you know where, and one foot in front, that is a surefire way to failure.
“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” J. P. Morgan
Easier said than done? Absolutely. I’ll be the first to say that I love dragging my feet. Even if you give me a push forward, I PUSH BACK! I like staying where it is familiar and comfortable. I do not like the unknown but that has never stopped life from showing me what’s ahead in bits and pieces.
Daphne Rose Kingma said it beautifully.
“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.”
I love that quote because it speaks to the truth of the matter. The past is done with, it is finished, although it loves hanging on and we give it an extra boost by keeping our thoughts and actions focused on it. It is a pesky thing, the past, but it plays its cards well and if it finds someone who will entertain it, it WILL linger on. Let it go. It is no longer needed. You are moving forward.
“Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere.” Unknown
Remember that bit of advice. It is important to close doors that no longer serve your best interests. If you want to head somewhere, keep on moving forwards even if it makes you tremble with fear at times. You can’t go back to the past. The future is waiting so put one foot in front of the other and head that way trusting that you will get to a better place at some point in time.
“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it: what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.” Paulo Coelho
AND
“Remember you can’t reach what’s in front of you until you let go of what’s behind you.” Unknown
Well said. I just need to take that advice to heart and learn from it!
It comes from having lived in Asia for many years and from having traveled around the world. There are many superstitions that people around the world believe in and not of the mundane kind either! A black cat crossing in front of you is said to bring bad luck but the kind I have come across makes that assumption seem mild.
The Asians have this thing about leaving your shoes outside when you go into someone’s house. It is said to bring whatever that has latched on to you into the house! Washing your feet after visiting a graveyard is another one. This is so you don’t bring any spirits into your home. I still do that as a precaution! Or the idea of burning paper money, houses, servants and whatever so that the dead have all of those things in the afterlife may seem bizarre but it is done in certain parts of the world. How about this one? The richer you are, the longer the family and relatives mourn your demise with music, singing, food and whatnots right in front of the coffin to show respect and to show how well-to-do you are or they are and this is done for a week or longer!
These are just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve picked up plenty along the way. Some say I am very supertitious and maybe I am. Besides washing my feet before coming into the house after a graveyard visit, I throw salt over my shoulder to ward off bad spirits and to bring good luck. I don’t do any cleaning on New Year’s day because you may sweep or vacuum “luck” away! I don’t open an umbrella inside the house because it is said to rain bad luck on you and bad luck happens in threes! There are plenty more but it’s too early in the morning to drum them all up.
I wouldn’t say “supertitious” is my middle name but pretty close!
“Self-discipline starts with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do.” Napoleon Hill
It has to be trained and that right there is where most of us fail miserably. It is also an art form that has to be told to “heel” when necessary and that’s where the problem comes in. We live in a world where instant gratification is of the utmost importance so throwing self-discipline out the window is easy enough to do and dealing with the consequences is often met with a shrug of the shoulders and a “so what” attitude.
What is self-discipline? According to markcperna.com, it is the “ability to tell ourselves “no” when we feel or want something that our reason tells us is not what’s best right now.”
It could be in the form of saying “no” to an extra slice of cheesecake and yes I still have that fetish, to jumping into bed with someone knowing full well that is the wrong thing to do. One to a lesser degree than the other but we are willing to turn a blind eye and do it anyway. Self-discipline is becoming a lost skill in this instant gratification society of ours and that is the sad truth.
“Without self-discipline, success is impossible. PERIOD.” Lou Holtz
It is a principle that if applied religiously makes your dreams come true. Waking up earlier to do an extra half-hour of exercise, meditation, yoga, whatever is to your liking will get you on the path to achieving that stellar “new” you. Learning to say “NO!” to things that don’t serve you will teach you that if you say it enough it becomes easier to do. This takes practice and especially for me because saying “no” is hard because I am way too accommodating and at times a pushover when it comes to saying no but I am learning.
Another word for it is willpower but whichever word you use, it is the ability to say “NO” when you know doing otherwise is to your detriment. Since it is a learned behavior, you need to learn to master it and to rewire your mindset
Here are some ways to implement self-discipline practices everyday according to medium.com.
They suggest that you stay active when it comes to discipline. Do what you need to do and don’t get distracted. Stick to what you need to get done each day. This is called an Active Discipline method.
The next is the Reactive Discipline tactic. Control your thoughts or behavior when dealing with unforeseen situations. Treat yourself with kindness but know what is right and wrong.
Do things in advance to better manage a situation. If you know it is going to rain, bring an umbrella. Create a to do list or go to bed on time. Keep temptation at a minumum or as the phrase goes, “do not step into the lion’s den” because you know will happen if you do. This last one is called the Proactive Discipline strategy.
However, the quote below says it better:
“Don’t stand in front of the cookie (cheesecake) with your eyes glued to it.” Unknown
It’s a practice and as with every new goal you have to work towards it. It doesn’t just happen once and you’re done with it. It is a constant which requires full-minded focus but the rewards are worth it. You become more adapt at time management, you become mentally stronger, it helps you to overcome laziness and procrastination, and you build better relationships showing more empathy and love. People with higher self-discipline are more trustworthy and likable as well.
What’s not to like? Set it in motion because no self-discipline means no success.
I would compare myself to a cat. Here’s why. I think there’s more to a cat than meets the eye. It is not all fur and cuteness. There is a certain wisdom they carry that lies beneath the surface. It shows up when you least expect it. Just when you think you’ve got them pegged, they show you different. I think there is a similarity in that respect.
I’ve been called complicated many times over BUT there is a certain je ne sais quoi about that complexity. I call it a quiet strength that observes more than reacts and when the time is right, it shows itself. Cats, in my observation, have that same kind of strength. They are observers more than reactors meaning it is more about a thoughtful, proactive mindset than just reacting to anything that comes their way. One source says that “cats have 300 million neurons compared to dogs with 160 million neurons. This high-octane brain power fuels feline intelligence. The cerebral cortex not only governs higher functions of rational thought, but also problem solving.” Let’s just say that we are both good at problem solving.
The easy laid-back lifestyle appeals to both of us. Sleeping most of the day away is not my thing but other than that, we love the no stress lifestyle. We love figuring out stuff and how things work. Life is my preoccupation, how it works and why things happen the way they do, while my best buddy, Chachi, loves figuring out how his “human” works!
We are both wise beyond our years, I call myself an old soul and Chachi claims to have lived more than 9 lives, each one taking him back to another place and time. There are similarities there.
If I had to compare myself to a cat, I would say that somewhere in my past I used to be a CAT! I communicate well with them and they seem to love me. Maybe there is something that connects us. I do know this, they call me the “cat whisperer” and I agree. They calm down in my presence and I appear “tame” in theirs!
I’m surprised that you made it this far. Since you have made it here, I want you to know that you are one tough cookie! You’ve survived more than most and are still standing. Kudos to you.
Let’s talk about all the things that you went through that could have been made easier but since you wanted to do things your way, the road less traveled is often the one you chose to take. You meandered like a stream and made your own path. It was hard, made harder by your stubbornness. You had your own set of rules and refused to budge making “love” an almost impossible journey. You had your principles instilled by two well-meaning parents that made your life tough. Letting go of those lessons learned were an almost impossible task. You survived more than most and here you are, a 100-year-old self wondering where the time went.
Time has flown by and even though there were both good, bad, and impossible times, the strength within you managed to withstand what was handed to you. There were times when you didn’t want those lessons, those trials and tribulations but you also knew that some were of your own making.
You are wrinkled beyond belief, several teeth missing, but that smile, the smile that touched a 100 or more lives during your lifetime is hard to miss. It is still there and that makes you beautiful. You’ve crossed many bridges, you’ve thrown fear (your constant companion) aside and here you are standing tall, proud, and ready for the next challenge.
My message to you is clear. You can be truly proud of yourself. Here’s to another 100? Not really, I think you and I know that making it to a 100 was a fluke. We didn’t want to make it that far. The wish was always to go before you get to be as old as Methuselah and become a burden and life becomes nothing more than of wishing and wanting.
Enjoy your accomplishments and may life, the rest of it, be kind to you.
Where would I go on a shopping spree? I really don’t know as shopping sprees are a thing of the past. Once, I loved shopping. Designer clothes, bags, and shoes were the norm when I headed out to some fancy store to load up on STUFF that I didn’t need but loved looking at as they took up space in my closet and cubbyholes! These days, I’m about getting rid of unwanted things that take up too much space and clutter up my mind. I like simplicity and it feels good.
I still have a lot of STUFF but working on simplifying the process. However, coming back to your question. I used to love this village that is a mix of old and new. The architecture is fantastic, the shops even more so. It was a mix of not so high-end and the high-end variety. You can get anything there and the pull are the numerous coffee shops, restaurants, lining the shopping mile as they call it. You can make it an all day affair, shop till you drop and then stop for a meal, get a window seat and people watch.
Market days are Tuesdays and Fridays and it adds to the excitement factor. Fresh fruits and vegetables from local farmers take center stage. Eggs, meat, pastries, and cakes are all there on display too. If you like moving with the masses, this is the place to be on those days. I don’t but once in a while it is a welcome change from taking a walk in nature.
If I do make it there which is not often, I window shop, stock up on fresh bread, lamb from the Turkish grocery story, and then stop for lunch at the Indian restaurant which carries authentic Indian food. My favorite, Masala Dosai. They also have veg and non-veg thalis. I usually sit by the window if I am alone and watch people as they move with the crowd. Nice way to spend the morning, I might add.
Shopping sprees used to be a nice thing to do but I love the quiet life now AND instead of throwing money out the window, I go with what I have.
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