letsgetitoutfront

FEAR

Fear, according to Freud, signals danger: “We fear physiological decay, illness and death; we fear the destructive forces of nature; and-of-course- we fear US.” Carl Jung, however, had a different interpretation. “For the hero, fear is a challenge and a task, because only boldness can deliver from fear.”

Whatever the case may be, fear took hold somewhere in my 20s and has been a constant companion ever since. I would consider myself to be a fearful person but people who know me say that I am strong and that I am capable of slaying monsters, the kind that keeps me from stepping out and looking fear right in the eye and thumping my nose at it. However, that doesn’t happen often!

Let’s see, I have a fear of ghosts having seen one or two in my lifetime but that’s for another place and time. I fear the unknown but who doesn’t? I have a fear of falling in love so I have built this insurmountable wall around me and breaking it is going to take super-human strength and a special kind of guy. That said, I do want to find love again but the fear within makes me run before I even get started and that is a conundrum in itself.

“The fears we don’t face become our limits.” Robin Sharma

Yet, if I put matters of the heart aside, I have done things that tells me that “fear” is just in my mind and NOT a real thing. I accompanied a sick friend to the very end of his life. In the beginning, I dug my heels in and said, “I can’t do this!” My friend gave me the power to pull the plug when the time came and even though I agreed bravely, the fear within told me, I couldn’t do it. Then the time came and I was asked the question I had been dreading all along. “I can’t take a life!” I screamed inwardly but outwardly I agreed to stop the meds that kept him hanging on to a life that was already gone. It took tremendous strength to see a life get snuffed out but fear was nowhere to be seen at that time.

Sometimes it is at these moments when we think we can’t that we CAN! Fear is an all-encompassing emotion meaning it can stop you in your tracks bringing life to an absolute standstill. I’ve been there and done that. At times, life takes a pause just enough so that you can come to grips with the fear within and to see it for what it is, just a momentary lapse in time until you can gather your strength and start moving again. I’m at that stage now. The fear of the unknown has set in and everything seems scary and putting one foot in front of the other is an option I am not looking forward to. I do know, however, that this too shall pass.

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” Unknown

I am a fearful person but I’ve stepped out of that fear mode many times. I know that I have the ability to overcome the most fearful things if need be and that for now is enough. One day, I’ll look back at my life and see the things I’ve accomplished in spite of that all consuming fear and know that it was but an imaginary hold in my mind that I created for whatever the reason.

Reality of Fear

You’re not scared of the dark.

You’re scared of what’s in it.

You’re not scared of heights.

You’re afraid of falling.

You’re not afraid of the people around you.

You’re afraid of rejection.

You’re not afraid to love.

You’re afraid of being loved back.

You’re not afraid to let go.

You’re just afraid that he’s really gone.

You’re not afraid to try again.

You’re just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.”

Unknown

Overcoming fear takes constant effort and strength. If you think about it, fear is an emotion like any other. Give it a cursory glance when it steps in as it will but then shove it out the door and move out of its way. You’re fully capable of overcoming fear. I did when I refused to let it have the upper hand. Of course, it is still my daily companion but these days it doesn’t have the strength it used to have. It shows up but it doesn’t stay for long. I don’t stand still long enough for it to take hold and that is my superpower against it.

Have an amazing day.

Fearful Things?

I have many from a fear of ghosts, blood, sickness and the unknown but if I had to pick one and not from that list, it would be this one. It is the fear that “I am not enough.”

I often tell myself that I can’t do this or that or that it is impossible because I don’t have it in me to weather the storm or that I am not strong enough. I am learning that this is far from the truth. I have done so many things in my life and looking back, I don’t know where or how I got the strength to do what I needed to do to survive what life threw my way. I survived my mom’s murder, I overcame the disastrous effects of a divorce and I accompanied a friend to his deathbed and told them to stop the meds and to let him go. It was one of the hardest things I had to do. I did it all when I was faced with the circumstances and there was no running away from it and “I was enough” at those times.

I think we are all fully capable of doing the unimaginable when life demands it. In my case, I had no choice. It was there and I had to deal with it or drown and be washed away in sorrow, rage, anger and fear. I chose to stand back up and it took superhuman strength and the will to survive. The unknown or rather the fear of it is something I grapple with everyday but I know that when the next “lesson” shows up I just have to grab the bull by the horns and go with the flow knowing that “I am enough” and I will overcome whatever it is.

Daily writing prompt

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

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Press Reset

Photo by Natasha Fernandez on Pexels.com

“Don’t forget power in resetting, on any given day…you are allowed to start over, if you feel like you’re going down the wrong path, RESET.” Reyna Biddy

When the sun goes down and you find yourself staring at another day ending and you realize that progress is not being made, hit the “RESET” button. You are not stuck even though it might feel that way at times but you have the power to change whatever it is you want to change in your life. You need the mindset, know what it is you’re after, hit “reset” meaning clear the slate and start over again. .

It is not that simple I know. In fact, it might be one of the hardest things you’ll have to do because changing your mindset is not easy and it is not simple either. Old habits die hard and sometimes they are hard to give up because there is comfort in hanging on to things that feel comfortable even if in reality they are not. Laziness, putting out the least effort possible and waiting for the world to reward you for nothing in particular is not going to work and it has never worked.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” C. S. Lewis

It takes YOU to change your place in the world. Where you stand, how high or low you are in the grand scheme of things all depends on you but one thing is clear, progress needs hard work. It means falling down a few more times than you wanted to but always keeping your eyes on the prize. If you want that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you’ve got to go after it. It is human nature to want to make life simple but it has other plans for us. Life is about learning from your mistakes, saying “no” to easy and knowing that you’ve got to throw yourself into “hard” to make it happen. Falling down is part and parcel of this thing called life but standing back up and moving forward gives you another chance, another opportunity to reach your end goal. You need to be better and you need to set yourself apart from the ordinary to make it. Sparkles and sunshine sounds good but it is going to take grit and determination to get you there.

Hitting “reset” and doing the same old things over and over again is not going to do it either. You need to “refocus” to get things going again. If something is not working, focus on what it is and change it. Try different angles and attitudes and at some point you’ll get it right, at least I hope I will at some point in time. Until then, I’ll hit “reset” as many times as I need to and I’ll tell the “victim mentality” I carry around with me which keeps me from achieving my goals to hit the door as well!

So if you’re standing where I have been many many times before and watching the sun set on another fruitless day, hit “RESET.” Tomorrow is on its way, it’s a new day to work your magic on a blank slate and to have your name written there as a success story. It’s all up to you.

Reset, refocus, readjust, restart, as many times as you need to. JUST NEVER GIVE UP!” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

The Complainer!

I like to complain just like anyone else. It is a built-in mechanism that goes off when something doesn’t go right and that happens a lot. When it happens, I am in my problem-solving mode but not only that, I tend to pull my hair out and dig my heels in till I get it solved. The problem is, it takes time and I’m not very patient at times.

What do I complain about? Just about anything I guess. A lot of times it is done to let off steam and to relieve stress. Currently, it is about the world of politics. What is happening is unbelievable and to see “fascism” on the rise is horrific not to mention scary as well. Migrants have become the bane of society and to get them out at any cost, including lives lost, is nothing to sneeze at, it seems. I try not to get agitated but it is hard to do in today’s political climate. So, I complain a lot about that and since I don’t write as much as I used to, there is no avenue to vent that frustration then to let it simmer and boil! However, a few minutes out in nature and fresh air helps to calm the beast down!

The other things I complain about are just the normal day-to-day variety. Nothing significant but it does give the “stress monster” an upper-hand at times. A broken lightbulb that needs replacing, clearing snow from the sidewalk, my car acting up for no apparent reason, and a whole host of other things!

Small things that add up and when you keep adding fuel to the fire, it becomes worthy of complaining! I’m learning to tone the rhetoric down, step back and to reevaluate the situation, take a couple of much needed breaths and to move on from there.

Is it working? What do you think?!!

Living Your Best Life

“Put yourself first on your priority list and watch your life get better.” Unknown

One interpretation of living your best life is to “live a life that makes you happy and also one that allows you to live your full potential.” quora.com

Concentrating on yourself is of the utmost importance. If you want to live your best life, put yourself first and foremost on that priority list. It starts with YOU and if you can get your act together everything else falls into place and even if it doesn’t, give it time to right itself out. In the meantime you’re standing where you should be and that is at the top of your list.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” Unknown

Each day do what is necessary to get yourself back on track. If you’re down on your knees, stand back up. If all you see is grey clouds and no sunshine, make your own sunshine. Put on a smile, get dressed and go out and shine! Never underestimate the power of a smile, it does wonders for your psyche and your soul. So make sure to wear one even if you don’t feel like it.

Talk to yourself. Tell yourself, “I love you!” Sounds crazy? Not really. Sometimes or rather more often than not, we forget the person we carry around with us. The special someone who stands by us through all our big and little moments of sadness, joy, heartbreak and everything else that goes to make up this life of ours. Show it some LOVE. I’ve started doing this practice of positive self-talk and I say, “I love you,” “I’m thankful for your support,” and “I’m grateful for all the things you do for me.” After I finish I give myself a hug, a make-believe one but a hug nonetheless. This has proved to be an absolute game changer and within a few minutes I feel calmer and “happiness” courses through my whole being. Not always but that is okay too.

Here’s another important point. If you want to live your best life, don’t beat yourself up. You’re beautiful as you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! We are our own worst enemy and I know I am. I often tell myself, “Your hair looks bad today!” Or that little spot on my face has taken gigantic proportions and is now staring back at me with a grin. Sometimes I say, “I just don’t like how I look!” I’m learning to tone down the rhetoric and to be kinder and gentler to myself. These days if someone says, “You look good,” I accept it wholeheartedly without resorting to, “but that’s not what I saw this morning as I looked in the mirror!” Vanity can be a downer at times but learning to accept yourself flaws and all is the way to go.

One Day It Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Unknown

Go out and live your very best life and while you’re doing it don’t forget to have an amazing day!

My Favorite Sports?

I don’t do competitive sports so there is nothing I watch or play. I used to do fast walking in competitions but that was years ago. Now, it is just walking for exercise to keep fit and to get out in nature.

Men are into competitive sports I think. Tennis, football and golf just to name a few. When I was married, I used to watch football not because I was interested in it but because I kept him company and went through the motions of liking what I saw especially when the ball made a goal. Those days are done with.

When I was a kid, I used to play in the boy’s football team. Dad was the coach so he let me even though I was the only girl in an all boy’s team. I don’t think he liked it that much but dad being dad decided, “this too shall pass” and bit the bullet and said nothing much to it. It did pass. I’m a quieter version of who I used to be and if you’re looking down on me, mom and dad, go ahead and smile, I’m the “lady” you wanted me to be!

Daily writing prompt

What are your favorite sports to watch and play?

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If I Won the Lottery…

I would go quiet because first of all, it would be a shock to the system and second, I would stay there for a while!

Winning the lottery is a dream that many have but it never comes to fruition. In my case, I would fix the roof. It is alright for now but if I had the money to throw around, I would invest in putting a Tudor-style roof on the house. It costs an arm and a leg to fix a roof here so that would be one luxury I would look into. Of course, family, friends, and my son would benefit from all that excess and what else?

Travel comes to mind but since I’ve traveled to many parts of the world already, it is not high on my list of things to do. Sri Lanka is still on my list of places to visit because it is breathtaking and simply beautiful but first I need to get out of my “recluse” mode! Oh, I would try to run a homeless shelter in honor of someone I knew.

Universe if you’re listening, let’s make it happen!

Daily writing prompt

What would you do if you won the lottery?

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The Big Thaw

Leoni came in out of nowhere and left a ton of snow in her wake! I’m talking about the cold front “Leoni” who showed up two days ago and left Germany in chaos and in the grip of winter. A sweet name but she came packing a punch!

We had lots of snow yesterday and by the time she (Leonie) was finished, she had dumped almost 15 to 20 inches of snow. A winter wonderland? Yes, but she left destruction in her wake as well. The roads were slippery causing accidents and trains did not run according to schedule. Schools were closed and a lot of people stayed home doing home office, my son was one of them.

She kept me busy as well. I cleared the sidewalk twice yesterday and used up a lot of salt making sure that no one would slip and fall. It worked. Last night, we had more snow but of the lighter variety. She was running out of steam I guess. I had my fingers crossed!

This morning the big thaw began. She was on her way to parts unknown having done what she came to do. The trees still had lots of snow on them, the rooftops were covered in white and the streets were starting to show signs of life again. Gobs of snow were starting to fall from the trees and it was a pretty sight to behold.

I took my walk to the fields picking my way carefully through the sleet. The fields were looking gorgeous covered in 20 or more inches of snow. It was a pristine world out there and the “whiteness” was blinding. The trees looked like they were right out of a picture postcard still clad in white. I felt like I could breathe again. The air was fresh and clean and it held a promise of better things to come. Weather prediction is that it will start thawing out and soon the snow will be a distant memory BUT there is more snow predicted for Thursday. A distant cousin of Leoni’s making its way here?!!!

All I can tell you is that I’ve had enough of snow for now and winter can stay but snow and ice, well, let’s wave it goodbye! Next year is another story altogether. I’ll be careful as to what I ask for!

Have an amazing day.

A Power-Packed Speech

In his February 2025 State of the State address, Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker gave an eye-opening and powerful speech that still resonates today. Only problem is that what he predicted back then is happening today and in the most horrible and disgusting fashion. The terror unleashed on the streets of Minneapolis and the killing of two innocent civilians, Renee Good, a 37-year-old U.S. citizen and ICU Nurse Alex Pretti, who was 37 at the time, by ICE agents under the guise of the Trump administration makes for a sickening realization that something else is at work here and it is the rise of what Gov. Pritzker was talking about. It should send tremors down our spines because once that “evil” is awakened again, it is going to take tremendous force and loss of lives to put it back where it came from as history has taught us.

I wrote this piece after Governor Pritzker’s address and it speaks to the sign of the times.

Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker delivered his ‘State of the State’ address in Springfield Wednesday and although he spoke of many things, it was the last part that made many of us sit up and take notice. He was speaking to the heart of the matter.

Here is an excerpt:

“if you just give Donald Trump everything he wants, he’ll make an exception and spare you some of the harm….I once swallowed my pride to offer him what he values most… public praise on the Sunday news shows…..it turns out his promises were as broken as the BIPAP machines he sent us instead of ventilators.”

He went on to deliver what can only be called a punch to the gut without lifting one finger. It was eloquent, it was persuasive and it was more than powerful.

“The seed that grew into a dictatorship in Europe a lifetime ago didn’t arrive overnight. It started with everyday Germans mad about inflation and looking for someone to blame….I’m watching with a foreboding dread what is happening in our country here…..The authoritarian playbook is laid bare here. They point to a group of people who don’t look like you and tell you to blame them for your problems.”

He further added:

“I just have one question. What comes next? After we’ve discriminated against, deported or disparaged all the immigrants and the gay and lesbian and transgender people, the developmentally disabled, the women and the minorites – once we’ve ostracized our neighbors and betrayed our friends – After that, when the problems we started with are still there staring us in the face – what comes next.

All the atrocities of human history lurk in that answer to that question. And if we don’t want to repeat history – then for God’s sake in this moment we better be strong enough to learn from it.”

Nothing more needs to be said.

RIP Renee Good and Alex Pretti

Books I Want to Read?

Nothing really, I don’t read much anymore. I don’t know why because I used to be a bookworm in my younger days. Some days I had my nose so deep in books that I forgot time and place! It was my way of escaping the ordinary and going out into the extraordinary where fantasy and make-believe reigned supreme. It was a beautiful place to be in and I didn’t have to leave my bedroom to do it. I could kiss princes, find true love, visit exotic locations and learn so much from the written word. Those days are gone.

Then I started writing and books took a back seat. Sad, really, because I would love to get back there again, put on my adventurer’s cloak and let imagination take hold and lead me to a fantastic world where everything is possible.

I am not into history and neither am I into things that make me think too much. I love romance and I dabble in politics, well, more than dabble but if I could get back to reading, I would love a love story where the girl gets the guy and they walk off into the sunset forever!

Daily writing prompt

What books do you want to read?

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