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I AM LEARNING (Archives)

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I am learning that each new day is a reminder to do better.

I am learning that I am fully capable of dealing with everything life throws my way.

I am learning that I need to practice gratefulness and to be thankful for all that I have.

I am learning to accept me as I am and to make changes if some of those things don’t work to my greater good.

I am learning to let go of things that don’t serve me and I am making room for those that do.

I am learning that I can’t change people, I can only change myself.

I am learning that life is a journey full of ups and downs and nothing stays the same forever.

I am learning that there is no such thing as forever, just the here and now.

I am learning that love is fleeting at its best and at its worst, it has the potential to turn your world upside down and inside out. Tread carefully.

I am learning that cheaters never change. They are repeat offenders. Integrity is just another word to them. A relationship with such an individual is like throwing pearls at pigs.

I am learning that today is a blessing, a gift and I have it in my power to make it an amazing day.

I am learning that life is ever-changing. It is a learning curve and mistakes are made to show us a new way of handling things and to learn and to grow from them. Perhaps that is what life is all about.

“But most of all, I am slowly learning how to just be in this moment. How to exist. How to understand that I cannot control life, that I can only experience it in both its light and its dark stages. I am slowly learning how to laugh and cry and feel through it all, how to welcome the confusion and the joy that come with loving and living and breaking. I am slowly learning how to accept where I am”

“I am slowly learning how to simply believe in the person I am becoming.” Unknown

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

Meditation

The habit of doing my meditation practice two or three times a day has helped to calm my mind and to give me a new perspective on life. When chaos reigns, I go within.

A walking meditation helps. I may be doing the physical act of moving but my mind is doing something else. I zone out and let nature do its thing. When at home, I find a quiet place, it is usually in my bedroom where I sit comfortably on the bed and close my eyes only to find that there is another realm I can escape to. I start out by calming my mind and body. A couple of deep breaths does the job well. Then I go within, at first it is dark and that’s ok. Other times, I have a lot of junk that needs to be cleared out. This takes a few minutes to reel the mind back. Then peace walks in and we sit together for a while, sometimes 15 minutes and sometimes half an hour.

Meditation helps me to focus better, to throw out what is not necessary and more importantly what doesn’t serve me but most of all, it brings a certain serenity to my being and I find that if done on a daily basis, it can make you a stronger and more balanced individual. It definitely helps to improve my quality of life.

Daily writing prompt

What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?

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The Man to Watch!

Gavin C. Newsom is doing a marvelous job of getting under Trump’s skin and living rent-free in his head! Furthermore, he has found a way to hit where it hits hard. Taking down a bully is not always easy and one who has sole authority to initiate a nuclear attack is even more so.

His latest tweet speaks to the heart of the matter:

WOW!! PRESIDENT TRUMP SAYS ABOUT ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM: “HE’S A NICE GUY, LOOKS GOOD.”

THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS, LITTLE HANDS. EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE TALKING ABOUT ME (AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR!). – GCN

All caps, exclamations and incomplete sentences, trademarks of you know who. Aside from that, the message is clear, you get as good as you give!

Keep it up America’s favorite governor. Sometimes it takes know-how and thinking to take down a bully and he is doing an expert job of doing just that. On the other hand, the “bad boy” wants to play it nice it seems. That tweet says a lot but as the saying goes, “too little, too late,” perhaps? Gavin C. Newsom is not letting up and that is a good thing.

MONSTERS!

I’ve talked about the monsters that walk amongst us, the kind who show up when you least expect it or when you are in the wrong place at the wrong time and the ones who don’t think twice about taking a life without so much as giving a thought to what they are doing. I’ve written about them in my posts and these “monsters” exist and there are plenty more out there than you think.

“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.” Stephen King

The kind of “monsters” I want to talk about is more of the subtle kind but just as destructive. They don’t take a toll on you physically but they do more than enough to destroy you mentally and emotionally. They live within us and only show up when life takes us in a certain direction and we find ourselves unable to control or understand what is happening.

“Everyone carries around his own monsters.” Richard Pryor

Monsters are often seen as powerful creatures with the ability to wreck havoc and sometimes those powerful and overwhelming emotions can feel that way too. Fear and anger can make us feel unsafe or out of control. The unknown can feel like a “monster” at times and when you harbor “emotional monsters” the kind that take you on roller coaster rides, you are facing monsters of another kind but just as scary and powerful nonetheless.

How do you overcome emotional monsters?

One source says that in order to overcome these so called monsters, you have to identify and label your emotions to better manage them.

Allow yourself to feel those emotions rather than block them out. Emotions are a part of life and provide signals that something needs attention. Take them seriously.

Journaling helps you to gain clarity and to process your emotions.

Deep breathing helps to calm the nervous system.

This next one is definitely worth a try. Notice five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. I guess after going through that roll call, the “monsters” will either take a hike or disappear altogether!

The last tip is to practice mindfulness. It helps to bring awareness and it also helps to control your mind and emotions. I find that staying in the here and now helps me to do exactly that.

“The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls.” Edgar Allan Poe

True, but “monsters” can be tamed if we take control of our minds and show them the door each time they show up. If you keep doing it often enough, they might just stay away. One can only hope.

Have an amazing day.

My Last Online Search

Ever since I was told that I needed another test to know for sure if there is anything wrong healthwise, I have been constantly Googling! It’s nothing new, I love researching on anything and everything.

Now, I had a reason to find out as much as I possibly could about this upcoming test and I’m pretty sure that when I show up there, I will have a Ph.D on the subject at large or at least I will have my eyes and ears peeled for what they will put me through and ask questions that will show them (the doctors) that I do have some knowledge about the procedure and I will not be led blindly like a lamb to the slaughter, although I do feel like one.

Anyway, I have done my research, I am armed with knowledge and I know what is coming up as far as the test goes. The radiation that will be injected into my veins will be minimal and according to my sources (Google) it says that it will be in your system for a day and with lots of hydration afterwards, it should be flushed out just as quickly. However, the outcome is something else altogether. I WANT TO KNOW and I don’t want to know. Does that make sense?

In the meantime, I am doing my part to stay healthy, doing my walks religiously, staying stress-free and meditating for all I’m worth. My research shows that stress could make the situation worse so anything that ups the stress factor is out the door! Yes folks, I’m a hypochondriac but it’s better than walking in with the blindfold on.

The last thing I searched online had all the major hospitals lined up one after another. They all have something to say on the matter and some go in one ear and out the other and others I am taking to heart. The internet is full of disinformation and misinformation as you well know but if you know what to look for, you have some valuable information at your fingertips.

Daily writing prompt

What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?

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Men in Black

I’m not talking about secret agents who monitor and police extraterrestrials but the kind who have another job altogether. In Europe, they are known as chimney sweeps and they are dressed all in black as they show up every year without fail to make sure that your chimney is in the best shape possible and all set for the colder months ahead.

My chimney had its checkup yesterday and it passed with flying colors! It’s because I didn’t use it last year. Why? I don’t know, probably because I was too lazy to start up a fire in the fireplace and or because I didn’t spend a lot of time in the downstairs area. I had got the wooden logs set up but never lit them. I told the chimney sweep that and he said, “I can see that. I still have to check and make sure that everything is in working condition.” He looked up the chute with a flashlight and headed on outside where the opening for the chute was. He opened it and there were some ashes in there. How it got there, I don’t know. He cleaned out the chute with a long-handled brush and everything was ready to go.

He’s a regular and usually shows up here with another guy but this time he was alone.

HIM: “You’re all set for this year. I wish you a nice day, see you next year and stay healthy.”

WHAT?!!

I gulped and stared at him wondering if he saw something I didn’t! Did I look ill? Why that remark about health? As you know, I’ve posted about my upcoming test and how it is affecting my daily existence so his remark went a little deeper than it should have. They don’t call me a hypochondriac for nothing! I was dying to ask him why he made that last remark but bit my tongue. I wished him a good day and with a smile he took off to his next appointment.

It has been said in these parts that chimney sweeps bring good luck. “People believe that seeing a chimney sweep, shaking their hand, or even having one attend a wedding brings good fortune and prosperity.” Hmm…..I could use some good luck right about now so maybe some has rubbed off on me! I can only hope and come to think of it, I should have shaken his hand or given him a big hug just to get a little closer and have that magic dust rub off on me!

Have an amazing day.

TV Shows

I wasn’t allowed to watch a lot of TV as a child. Much of our time was spent gathered in the living room listening to mom and dad droning on about life as a Christian child. Along with it came Bible study and prayers.

Most kids our age were gathered around their TV sets lost in a wonderful world of make-believe but for us, it came much later and only if we had been good kids. Who decided if we had been naughty or nice? You guessed it!

I recall a few that my parents thought were good shows to watch. They liked Magnum P.I. for some reason, probably for the same reason I did. No one could fake that cute smile! The A-Team was liked by dad so we sat right there as he watched his favorite show. The Miami Vice guys were something to watch. I loved Sonny Crockett! Cartoons were my favorites. I don’t think I had any favorites. I loved them all. Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! and Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids comes to mind. I can’t recall the rest!

It wasn’t all bad, the childhood I mean. I created my own fun and you don’t want to know what that was! Let’s just say, I was a little terror and I could give those TV shows a run for the money!

Daily writing prompt

What TV shows did you watch as a kid?

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A Chill in the Air

There was a definite chill in the air as I took my morning walk. I was earlier than usual and not even the farmers were there ready to start their day. The hay bales stood as before, silent and heralding the approach of a new season. No deer to be seen today, perhaps I was too early even for them.

The sun was shining but the chill made me pull my sweat jacket closer around me. The Rapeseed plants have been mowed down and there is a clear view everywhere. I’m sure those plants will show up again in spring but for now, it is time to take a well-earned rest before they put on their glorious display next spring. I am grateful for the view ahead with nothing to block it. The mountains seem to emerging from their slumber and with the sun shining, they are clearly visible, no longer shrouded in mystery as they usually are.

I walked keeping an eye out for the herons but they are a no show today. They must be asleep as well. A sudden cawing of a crow brought me out of my reverie and as I moved my eyes skywards, one flew over my head. They are raucous creatures but they thrive over here. Something about the open spaces or maybe even the graveyard nearby. They often congregate there. Makes you wonder why doesn’t it?

I made it to where the apple trees are and they are bogged down with apples. A bumper crop this year it seems. I left them alone as I have enough apples on my one lone apple tree in the garden and I would have to give some of them away. However, I know where the wild grapes grow and I headed in that direction. There they were hanging like beautiful works of art waiting to be picked. Some were still green, but some were a dark purple and I picked a few for a snack later. There is nothing better than freshly picked anything!

The walk was uneventful but it helped to clear my mind of the cobwebs that were already gathering there. I have a clean slate to start my day on and it is a beautiful feeling of peace and unadulterated joy? Perhaps, not quite joy but just akin to that. Just then, the first farmer approached on his huge tractor blocking the pathway so I got on the field to let him pass. He waved as he passed and I waved back with a smile. They must be getting used to this lone female who loves the fields as much as they do!

Have an amazing day.

SINGLEDOM (Archives)

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Being “single” is cringeworthy to some, unbelievable to others, unbearable to those who think “single” is a bad word and a “no go” in today’s society of settling for anything even if it means you are with the wrong person just so long as you have someone to boost your image.

Single is defined as “the state of being unmarried or not involved in a long-term relationship.”

I’m both right now but I have to say it’s working out for me. I love spending time by myself and I’m learning that I like who I am. All the clutter that clouds my mind in a relationship is gone and for a change there is peace and clarity within.

“You’re single not because you are not good enough for one, it’s that you’re too good for the wrong one.” Chris Burkmein

Sometimes we make the wrong choices and wind up in relationships that are not good for us. Taking the time as I am doing to find out why I keep falling for the wrong types is a necessary move on my part. Making a promise to do better the next time around is an integral part of the journey I’m on. It’s a journey of self-discovery and I’m not rushing things. I’m taking my time going within to weed out all the destructive bits that lead me on the self-same journey over and over again.

“It takes a strong person to remain single in a world that is accustomed to settling with anything just to say they have something.” Unknown

Settling is not my thing and never has been and I’m stubborn to a fault. Put the two together and you have someone who may never find the right one and “single” is in her cards forever! However, I’m not giving up hope. Working on myself is a priority this year and when and if the “new” someone shows up, I hope I’ll be ready to lower the banner I have around my heart which says, “Do Not Disturb, Work in Progress!“

It has been said:

“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” Parade

AND

“I’ve been single for a while and I have to say, it’s going very well.

Like…..It’s working out.

I think I’m the one.”

Unknown

All jokes aside, being “single” is nothing to be ashamed of. It just means you are taking time out for yourself, learning who you are, loving yourself, working on your self-worth and when the time is right, you’ll get your wings and you’ll learn to fly with the right person.

“Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Favorite Time of Day?

Any time of day can be a favorite time if things work out right and all is going well. However, my favorite time of day is when I am feeling calm, collected, mind free of worries and with Chachi, the cat, by my side. Add a day with beautiful blue skies, a light breeze and not too hot and you’ve got my favorite kind of day.

Ok, let’s see. I love mornings when I am up early and the world is still asleep. Listening to the birds in the trees and the constant cooing of pigeons on the rooftops is soothing and my mind is at rest. Any time my mind is at rest is a good thing so mornings do that. Chachi’s purring is an additional bonus to that feeling of contentment.

Afternoons are a time when sometimes it is hectic and sometimes I am halfway through things. It is not a peaceful feeling. I don’t take naps in the afternoons as most people around here do because if I do I wake up feeling groggy and not rested at all. I usually spend the afternoons writing, cleaning or doing whatever mundane stuff that needs to be done or needs taken care off.

Evenings, I love at times. Sometimes it is calming as the day comes to an end. Sitting outside and watching dusk approach is a nice thing to do and listening to the day settling down is another beautiful thing. This is also the time when I do my meditation practice and sometimes my breathing routine. Calming down and clearing my mind is of the utmost importance before going to bed for a goodnight’s rest. Evenings are all about bringing the day to a close with intention and preparing myself for the rest that is to come. Sometimes it is my favorite time of day as well.

It changes from time to time and it all depends on what I have going on. Days without chaos, hustle and bustle and a constant churning of the mind on how to fix things, take care of things and bring things back to normal are not my favorite times. Take them out and you’ve got my favorite time of day!

Daily writing prompt

What’s your favorite time of day?

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