I’ve backed off from social media usage simply because my life doesn’t revolve around it anymore. Gone are the days of constantly reaching for my phone to see what is going on and replying to every unnecessary tweet! I don’t need those strokes anymore.
I’m no longer on Facebook, Instagram is not my thing and X, well I’m still on there but I rarely contribute. None of these things have the pull they used to have. Don’t ask me why. Perhaps, it’s because I’m evolving in a different way or rather marching to my own drumbeat. Did I tell you I’m a recluse? Sure looks that way and somehow I’m loving it! There is a certain kind of peace from knowing that you don’t need outside stimulation from the likes of social media to feel good about yourself.
I’m here and that is my social media interaction. It seems to be working fine. I say what I’ve got to say and I wrap it up for the day until tomorrow rolls around and the Daily Prompt stares me in the face again! Boring? I guess but I’m loving it and that is what matters.
I wanted to say peace but it is nowhere to be seen today. Instead anxiety is taking its place. Why? I don’t know why. It shows up when it sees fit and makes my life a place of unrest and my head fills with unruly thoughts.
The night was fine. I slept like a baby after having done two bouts of yoga, one of the Yin variety and the other to calm the mind down. Both did wonders but here I am again feeling like something is not quite right. Anxiety is defined as an “emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil and includes feelings of dread over anticipated events.”
Perhaps it is just my mind playing tricks on me. It doesn’t like peace because everything moves on an even keel and that doesn’t set too well with it. It likes turmoil when my thoughts churn and move like the waves on a choppy ocean and somehow this movement seems to suit my mind because it is a “monkey” that loves the constant chatter of non-stop movement! Well, it is time to do another round of yoga to calm the mind, get the creative juices flowing and to get into a nirvana state of mind. Wish me luck!
It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction.
It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. It’s going to cost you being liked, and understood. But it doesn’t matter. Because the people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. And you’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward.
And instead of liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of understood, you’re going to be seen. All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are. Let it go.” Brianna West
Change is never-ending. It is scary but it brings you one step closer to who or what you want to be. It moves you out of your comfort zone and at times it will feel like you are being thrown into the deep end of the pool, sink or swim is your choice. I hope you swim.
Looking back at my life and the things that have held me back, I realize much of it was tied in with stupidity and emotions I could have done without. I could have learned the lessons in a shorter period of time instead of dragging it on but I didn’t.
This thing called love could have been easier on me. I could have made it easier but I wasn’t strong enough. I was in a vulnerable state and it seemed to attract the wrong types because vulnerability is often an invitation which says, “Here I am, come break me!” I should have walked when I saw that it was a foregone conclusion and my holding on would not change the outcome. It never did. I will do better I promise myself. I will let go when I see the truth staring me in the face and walk away with my dignity intact and with my heart back in my chest. I will let go before it drags me down to where I often find myself, right down at ground zero but the changes took a long time coming.
I am stronger today than I was yesterday. My heart still speaks the language of love but it no longer speaks stupid. This journey I am on has changed me. The weak or vulnerable one has been replaced with one who is confident, capable and someone who knows who she is and what she wants out of life. Something inside me screams, “I am woman, hear me roar!” Scary? Well, if you’re the type of man I am accustomed to, then you should be. I am looking to be loved but with eyes open this time. Working on myself is a mindful and daily affair and when I finally step out of my comfort zone, the journey will be complete but change is a lifelong journey and it will be a never-ending one. I can handle it I tell myself because I am no longer who I used to be.
“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” James Keller
I don’t remember his name but it is not important. The meeting took place while I was in high school. He was the caretaker’s son and I met him one day during break time. We were playing some silly game and there he was sitting on a bench staring into space. I recall the smile on his face as he sensed my presence. It was big and bold and somehow didn’t quite fit that small face. I stopped and stared and he said, “Hello!” and that was the beginning.
He was born blind and his eyes looked clouded like there was a veil over them. I was fascinated by them and we talked for a while. The friendship took off and everyday at break time, I was at his place asking questions and listening to him play the piano. One day he played this beautiful melody and called it my song. He had dreams of being a famous pianist and I could see him achieve that dream. He was very talented. We talked about many things and I think I was the only friend he had. Some days after school, I would practice walking around the house with my eyes closed just to see what it felt like to be him. Summer rolled around and there was a break for some time. When school started back up, I couldn’t wait to see him again. The bench where he usually sat was empty. I looked around and there was no sign of him. Then his mother told me he was gone. I didn’t know what that meant at the time but I felt the pain of losing a friend.
Looking back, it was the awakening of compassion and empathy within me. I didn’t know him well but there was a definite connection between us. A chance meeting that would change my life for the better. I would go on to help others but it all began right there when compassion took hold for a fellow human being and empathy did the rest.
Daily writing prompt
Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.
“If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light.” Rumi
Sometimes it burns brightly and at other times it flickers and there are times when it is extinguished and there is only darkness to be found. Finding your way becomes hard as darkness spreads its wings and envelops everything in its wake but that light within can be relit again. It is there and waiting for you to light that light again.
“No degree of worldly darkness can extinguish the glow of a soul’s inner light.” Wes Fesler
You, my friend, are a powerful being. You have everything within you to make it through that “worldly darkness.” Did you lose someone close and your light is dimmed? Did someone walk away leaving you to find your way again? Do you feel like you don’t belong? Did someone put you down and make you feel smaller than you are? Did all these things make you feel like you are not enough? If so, reach for that light within. It is powerful and it takes more than a careless word or two, a breakup or ugliness to put out the light. Even if you take a temporary leave of absence, it waits patiently till you come back ready to burn brightly again.
“Let your light shine so brightly that others can see their way out of the dark.” Katrina Mayer
How do you get the light within to burn brightly?
It has been said through, “meditation, mindfulness, self-reflection, and acts of kindness towards oneself and others.” Practicing kindness and compassion towards others is one surefire way to light that light within and to keep it burning brightly. I give out smiles and it is a daily practice I engage in. Whenever I meet a stranger and our eyes meet, that “high-voltage” smile turns on! It has brought some unwanted attention but that aside, a smile or two comes back accompanied by this warm and fuzzy feeling and I’m ready to embrace a stranger!
“Kindness is igniting a light in someone else for no reason other than to watch them enjoy the glow.” Raktivisit.
So, my friend, be that light. It is within you and waiting to show you the way.
Did you know that, “Within your being is a source of light…..with unlimitedwattage.” Put it to good use. You are powerful, you are magical, you are capable, you are beautiful and you are ENOUGH as you are. Turn on that light and step into its brightness and watch your life transform….
One decision I made in the past that has helped me to learn and to grow is to let go of a relationship that wasn’t working. Holding on is human nature and letting go is too but I tend to hold on longer than it is necessary sometimes until I am blue in the face or till the cows come home!
Therein lies all my problems. I knew it wasn’t working, I could see it for what it was but still I held on for dear life. However, the journey of self-discovery I am on taught me some lessons and one of them is that not all breakups are bad. Sometimes it is needed to teach you that “better” exists and it is not only in your mind. Once I started moving forward, I realized that I had it within me to pick and choose the right person I wanted in my life. My heart has all these romantic notions of how a love should be but I am learning that there is more to it than butterflies in your stomach. I tend to wear rose-colored glasses where love is concerned and when that tint wears off, I am left holding the remnants of a broken love affair. It’s off with those glasses and on to what it is really about. It is now about knowing what I want, what I won’t settle for and a love that is “all in” and not the fading kind. I mean, “the here today and gone tomorrow” variety.
Breaking off and going it alone has taught me many lessons but the most important one that has helped me to learn and grow is that I AM ENOUGH as I am. No embellishments needed! Version 2.0 is stronger and more capable at looking for love in all the right places and a royal pain in the you know what!
Daily writing prompt
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
I’m reposting this again because what Nate White had to say about Trump still stands true. The man (not king) is on a path of destruction. Rule of law does not apply where he is concerned but then again why should it? He is a convicted felon with 34 counts to his name so how did he make it to the highest office in the land? A question many are asking over and over again. Ask Elon Musk is my answer. Watching Trump talk about criminals (the immigrant variety) and the home-grown ones is nothing short of ironic. People with tattoos and if you’re brown-skinned you’re a gang member no due process required. That was Abrego Garcia’s fate who is sitting somewhere in a Salvadorian Gulag. Is he still alive? No one knows for sure. However, the one with the tattoos is now the Defense Secretary and the “criminal” is talking about sending people off to Salvador to meet their fate while rule of law is going to hell in a handbasket!
Here is the best description of Trump ever and it was penned by Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England.
“Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. He has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace.”
He goes on to add:
“And in Britain we traditionally side with David not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs; Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more of a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.”
There’s more to this epic takedown and it goes like this:
“his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit…..He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W. look smart….if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws…..he would make a Trump….If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be a boxed set.”
Hands up if you disagree. Perfectly put together and it was an epic takedown if there ever was one!
I woke up this morning ready to enjoy the day and to make the simple things count. Doing the mundane things first like having breakfast, my first cup of coffee, getting ready, cleaning up, I decided that it was time to do what I enjoy the most.
It was still pretty early when my furry four-legged friend reminded me that it was time to get up and get the day started. Looking outside, it looked like it was going to be a fantastic spring day. The cherry tree out front was in full bloom and it was a sight to behold. The sun was taking its time showing up this morning but that wasn’t going to deter me. I could feel the call of the wide-open fields as it does every morning so it was on with my walking shoes, a light jacket sans scarf and off I went.
The fields were as they always are, welcoming, serene and beautiful but only now they were wearing their spring outfits and it suited them just fine. The pink and white blossoms were glorious and the green fields simply full of life. Everything was coming alive taking its cue from Mother Nature. As I approached slowly taking in the sights and sounds that is familiar to me, I took the well-worn path and headed towards the apple trees. There was no one in sight and that is exactly how I like it.
The sky was littered with puffy white clouds and up above a slight drone of an airplane could be heard. On one side of the pathway, a duck pair had taken permanent residence or at least for a short while. They quacked in unison as I walked by acknowledging my presence or simply saying hello. A few feet away, two crows were cawing raucously their voices rough and not too pleasant as a silver-streaked hawk sat close-by watching them with glee in its eyes. I looked for the rabbits that I had seen the other day, they had been hopping and jumping and chasing each other but today they were nowhere to be seen. Perhaps it was too cold and they were tucked away deep in their burrows enjoying the warmth in their cozy hideaways.
Further up the path, both sides were green with oilseed rape plants their stalks heavy with bloom and soon the brilliant yellow will appear and when framed against the bright blue skies, an absolutely gorgeous sight indeed. The apple trees are just starting to bud and coming awake from their winter’s sleep and soon the pink and white blossoms will fill the air with their sweet scent for all to enjoy.
Nature has a wonderful way of reminding us that the simple things are still the best things that life has to offer and in so doing it anchors us to where we need to be. Leave it to Mother Nature to teach us that everything has a time and place and combined with patience, it will show itself as it was intended.
It was a great walk and I felt like a million dollars after having indulged in the simplest of things which helped to make my soul soar and that my friends is my start to a wonderful day ahead. I hope!
“The most simple things can bring the most happiness. If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive.” Unknown
I don’t think there is such a place. Places are interesting and I love the excitement of seeing something new, experiencing the food culture and the people as a whole. I used to travel a lot but those days are over with and traveling is on the back burner now.
I really can’t think of any place I wouldn’t want to visit. Every place has something interesting to offer and I guess with the good sometimes comes the bad as well. I have nothing more to say on this topic and that is rare because I usually have a lot to say! Oh well, next question please!
Daily writing prompt
What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?
Someone once said, you are NOT yesterday. True but the stories we tell ourselves, the narratives that we trap ourselves in sometimes tell us that we are. Yesterday does carry some weight because it helps to define who we are today. The memories of yesterday can mold or break us, it can teach us not to do the same things over and over again and more often than not, it gives us the strength to carry on. The truth of the matter is that we cannot rewrite history and we cannot go back and change the outcome of a story that happened and is now done with. Yesterday is just that, it was and is a part of our past and except for the revisits from time to time of well-kept memories, it is nothing more than that. It is a story that is finished, it has taken its final bow or curtain call and so must we by letting it go.
This is what I tell myself on the journey I am on. I can’t keep carrying yesterday on my back or like an albatross around my neck. The load is heavy and it makes me want to stop, turn around and run back to what was familiar even if that familiarity has the power to hurt like hell. The unknown before me is terrifying and anything is better than this right? What’s before is shrouded in fog, it is dark and foreboding and forging through it takes superhuman effort but the small negative voice within me which at times roars like a waterfall tells me that I can’t do it! Take small steps, one step at a time, you don’t have to know everything, just trust and you will get there says this other shaky voice but there are no other options, moving forward is where I need to go.
Sometimes it is the boundaries we place around ourselves that trap us, that tell us that the imaginary world we live in is so much better than what is waiting out there. Sure it was painful but there was greatness too. It was filled with things I knew and cherished, in one word, it is irreplaceable. The stories we tell ourselves are the fences we place around us. Was yesterday that great? Did we embellish it like a Christmas tree to make it sparkle and shine when the reality is a different story? Do the stories we tell ourselves distort reality and yet it is the truth as we see it or is it because we want to see it that way?
Harold R. Johnson said, “We are all story. We are the stories we are told and we are the stories we tell ourselves. To change our circumstances, we need to change our story: edit it, modify it, or completely rewrite it.”
I don’t want to completely rewrite my past. I want to take the good parts with me, the bad parts I want to thank for teaching me lessons I would not have learned otherwise and the pain? Well, I want to leave that behind where it belongs. Enough tears have been shed, enough wishing that it could have been different has not made it less so and closing the door behind me and moving on is the way to go. The next chapter is waiting and yesterday is done with.
“Forget yesterday – it has already forgotten you. Don’t sweat tomorrow – you haven’t even met. Instead, open your eyes and heart to a truly precious gift – today.” Steve Maraboli
Here’s to yesterday. You taught me lessons I didn’t want to learn but had to accept. You gave me memories I will forever treasure. You made me who I am today and for that I will forever be thankful.
Site Title 