I don’t do competitive sports so there is nothing I watch or play. I used to do fast walking in competitions but that was years ago. Now, it is just walking for exercise to keep fit and to get out in nature.
Men are into competitive sports I think. Tennis, football and golf just to name a few. When I was married, I used to watch football not because I was interested in it but because I kept him company and went through the motions of liking what I saw especially when the ball made a goal. Those days are done with.
When I was a kid, I used to play in the boy’s football team. Dad was the coach so he let me even though I was the only girl in an all boy’s team. I don’t think he liked it that much but dad being dad decided, “this too shall pass” and bit the bullet and said nothing much to it. It did pass. I’m a quieter version of who I used to be and if you’re looking down on me, mom and dad, go ahead and smile, I’m the “lady” you wanted me to be!
Ever laid awake all night and wondered why sleep is evading you? If you have, you’re not alone. Say hello to your comrade-in-arms. It started several months ago. Out of the blue, my sleepless nights appeared wearing bells and grinning from ear to ear and since then I go to bed with good intentions but alas, “sleep” is nowhere to be found.
After months of feeling like a walking zombie, I started looking for natural remedies to my sleep problems. I tried yoga and did everything that was asked of me short of turning myself into a pretzel and although yoga helped to keep me pliable like warm taffy, it didn’t help me as far as sleep was concerned. Next on my list was a warm cup of milk. Sprinkle some turmeric, stir it around to turn it into a golden delicious liquid and you’re good to go. Lo and behold, a miracle happened the first time I tried this magic potion. Half an hour later, I was sleeping like a baby and woke up feeling refreshed like a new-born with nowhere to go. However, this solution was a one-trick pony. The following night, this miracle sleep elixir had lost its shine and I was back to square one, looking pretty in my floral pyjamas but I couldn’t lure “sleep” into my bed.
A week later, a friend told me about guided sleep meditation videos on YouTube. Ah yes, YouTube, the guru on all things wrong with this world. I decided to give it a try. I spruced myself up for sleep with YouTube splashed across my TV screen. Let me tell you, the choices are plenty. There are videos lasting just 15 minutes and guaranteed to put you to sleep but alas they hadn’t reckoned on me. I am a tough cookie. There are also videos that go on for about 1 1/2 hours but by the time I made it to 1/2 an hour, I threw off my blanket in irritation and switched it off. I was wide-awake and sleep was nowhere to be found.
Finally, I read somewhere that deep breathing helps. I decided to give this one a go. What did I have to lose except that bug-eyed look from too little sleep. I approached it cautiously. I tried taking 5 deep breaths, each one slowly in through the nose and then out through the mouth. The trick is to take your time breathing in and out. After the fifth one, I felt myself relaxing. Oops, something was definitely happening. Next, I had to take five more breaths, this time breathe in through the nose, hold for five counts and release through the mouth. After the third breath, hold and release, I could see my Prince of Sleep approaching slowly. That night I slept like a well-fed baby. I tried again the next night and again it sent me off to La La Land in no time at all. Truthfully though, I have to add that it doesn’t work every night and some nights, it takes a little longer for sleep to appear but this method does work. I followed this up with the dead man’s pose. Taken from yoga, this has a propensity to totally relax you. Here’s how it works. Lay on your back on the floor or your bed, fully stretched out. Let yourself go, first relaxing your feet, then your ankles and so on until you reach your head. Work to let go of thoughts that enter your mind and reel it back in to your breathing. Easier said then done but with practice, this is a sure fire way to catch some zzz’s. So if you are like me, sleepless in bed or wherever you’re at, give these two methods a go.
Sleep deprivation or rather not sleeping enough is a big problem. It affects your health significantly. Sleep disorders have been linked to other factors such as stress, relationship problems, medical health conditions just to mention a few. What I do know is that if not treated, this condition can cause memory problems, can affect job performance and cause problems in your relationship. Some of the solutions I have stated above did not work for me but it might for you. All I can say is give it a try, who knows it may just be the right remedy for you.
“Good night, sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite.”
I would go quiet because first of all, it would be a shock to the system and second, I would stay there for a while!
Winning the lottery is a dream that many have but it never comes to fruition. In my case, I would fix the roof. It is alright for now but if I had the money to throw around, I would invest in putting a Tudor-style roof on the house. It costs an arm and a leg to fix a roof here so that would be one luxury I would look at. Of course, family, friends and my son would benefit from all that excess and what else?
Travel comes to mind but since I’ve traveled to many parts of the world, it is not high on my list of things to do. Sri Lanka is still on my list of places to visit because it is breathtaking and simply beautiful but first I need to get out of my “recluse” mode! Oh, I would try to run a homeless shelter in honor of someone I knew. Universe if you’re listening, let’s make it happen!
The other day someone asked me, “Why can’t you trust me? Today as I walk the route I always take, thoughts run through my mind and this question arises over and over again. ”Why can’t I trust him and especially anyone for that matter?”
Then this quote pops into my mind. I’ve heard it many times before but today as the trust issue resurfaces, it brings new significance to it.
“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.” Dhar Mann
It is defined as “having confidence in someone or something” and it means, “I can rely on you to do the right thing.”
Several years ago, I found myself face to face with the horrific dilemma of having placed my trust in the person who had sworn to love and protect me till the end of time and he turned out to be the same person who brought me down to my knees when he took that trust and threw it out the window for a roll in the hay with someone else. It had taken 17 years to build, the foundation was being laid brick by brick but it took only seconds to destroy and the “forever” part well I know that it will take forever to repair.
As I round a bend in the path all is quiet and it is grey and foggy. I realize that it is the perfect stage for where I am right now. Then a small smile crosses my face as I see this quote flash by out of nowhere.
“Don’t ask me to trust you when you’ve given me every reason not to.” Unknown
I don’t think it is about playing detective, trying to find out if you’re telling the truth and keeping tabs on everything you do. It is more about that feeling within, that intuition or call it gut feeling, if you will, that tells me that something is not right here. Pay heed to that gut instinct because it has your best interest at heart. No matter how he professes to love you and even if he stands on his head and declares that he has been faithful to you, take it with a pinch of salt or better still, tell yourself I have “forever” in front of me and time enough for you to show me that I CAN TRUST YOU.
Once I caught my ex in the act of cheating and being the liar he is, I told him, even if I catch you in the act, you will jump up and say, “You didn’t see what you just saw!” Cheaters, well there are plenty of them out there and before placing your trust on a whim or in a moment’s notice, take your time, observe, pay attention to the signs and never, NEVER be pushed into trusting someone simply because they say so.
“Some people aren’t loyal to you, they are loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty.” Unknown
Coming back to the question asked by this friend. ”Why can’t you trust me?” My answer goes like this. ”You know the answer and the truth lies within you.” On this journey I have chosen, I am looking for that needle in the haystack.
“I want to hold your hand at 90 and say, “We made it.” Unknown.
If I may add to that, perhaps only then can I say, “I trust you with my whole heart and you will just have to be patient. We have time enough until then.”
The sun is starting to peek out and today is going to be an amazing day.
Nothing really, I don’t read much anymore. I don’t know why because I used to be a bookworm in my younger days. Some days I had my nose so deep in books that I forgot time and place! It was my way of escaping the ordinary and going out into the extraordinary where fantasy and make-believe reigned supreme. It was a beautiful place to be in and I didn’t have to leave my bedroom to do it. I could kiss princes, find true love, visit exotic locations and learn so much from the written word. Those days are gone.
Then I started writing and books took a back seat. Sad, really, because I would love to get back there again, put on my adventurer’s cloak and let imagination take hold and lead me to a fantastic world where everything is possible.
I am not into history and neither am I into things that make me think too much. I love romance and I dabble in politics, well, more than dabble but if I could get back to reading, I would love a love story where the girl gets the guy and they walk off into the sunset forever!
There is something in the air and it is spreading and invading far and wide so much so that it has now moved across the pond and into Europe. It reeks of something unpleasant and it is dangerous if allowed to spread.
Nazism is nothing to sneeze at let alone to make fun of. The man who was criticized for his “Nazi” salute not once but twice during Trump’s inauguration event is now speaking out for the far-right in Germany. The Tesla CEO or rather the “snake oil” salesman as some call him has big ambitions and I think it borders on world domination of the unsavory kind.
Elon Musk did a virtual salute on Saturday to Germany’s far-right party, AfD, saying Germans should “take pride” in German culture and values and “not to lose that in some sort of multiculturism that dilutes everything.” Huh? So, he is advocating monoculturism? It is defined as “the policy or process of supporting, advocating, or allowing the expression of the culture of a single social or ethnic group.” Someone should tell him that there are NO mono-ethnic countries anymore. He added more but who cares!
It is of importance that the man who faced criticism in the U.S. and Europe for his straight arm gesture resembling a Nazi salute is now trying to influence German elections. He went on to say, “I think you (AfD) are really the best hope for Germany.”
This is scary folks because if money, computer expertise and a Nazi salute here and there can manipulate the outcome of an election then Lord help us all!
I’m not talking about the spooky variety that scares the hell out of you but the kind that is mean and done to do damage. I’m talking about “Ghosting” which is prevalent in today’s digital age and which is meant to hurt in a sinister way.
It is defined as “the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.”
Have you experienced this form of communication or rather “no communication” to be more precise? It hurts doesn’t it? The problem is, it was meant to hurt you. It is a heartbreaking reality in today’s world and it has the potential to shatter your self-esteem, grip at your insides and even though it is an act, a non-thinking and cowardly one, the pain is akin to that of the physical variety.
Gentleman’s Rule #10:
If you can’t handle what she brings to the table, or if she’s not the woman for you, leave the table like a gentleman. Don’t ghost, ghosting is for insecure shit-heads. The fact that we have a word for this behavior says more about men, than women.” onefemalecanuck.com
According to some mental professionals, ghosting can be classified as a form of emotional cruelty and it is. It causes emotional distress, sadness, despair, anger and a whole host of other emotions. Ghosting is a sign that the perpetrator of this act has poor communication skills, is immature and disrespectful of your feelings because being “ghosted” can leave an unwanted imprint on the “ghostee” the person being ghosted.
“Ghosting doesn’t work on me, I don’t care if we never speak again.” Unknown
Easier said than done? Here are some tips on how to recover from being ghosted according to drtracyhutchison.com
Realize that no response is a response.
Try not to take it personally.
Use mindfulness and self-compassion to heal.
Set boundaries.
Move on.
If all else fails, do this:
“When someone ghosts you, respect the dead and MOVE ON!” Unknown
I don’t have many now but there are a few I remember from times past. One of my best memories or traditions that the family enjoyed was Christmas Eve. We usually had a huge tree all lit up and for a young child it was magical. I remember the house was bright with lights and to bolster the mood further, the table was brimming with food. Right before the clock struck midnight, the carollers arrived and they stood in front of the tree and sang Christmas carols. It was one of the best family tradition that I remember.
When I was married, my German in-laws used to come to our place on the 24th and we had a huge meal, sometimes roast rabbit and sometimes goose or duck and all the trimmings that went with it. I cooked the meal and we sat around with my son’s eyes all lit up in anticipation and sometimes we sang Christmas carols but most of the time it was just cosy because the fireplace was on and the place felt warm and full of love.
Those days are gone but the memories remain and to my surprise, my ex mother-in-law remembered it too. Not too long ago she said, “I remember how beautiful the house looked at Christmastime.” I guess sometimes beautiful memories remain even though time has come and gone and changed the circumstances.
Daily writing prompt
Write about a few of your favorite family traditions.
“Sometimes you need someone to be there for you. Not to fix the problem or offer advice or do anything in particular, but simply to be there. To show up. To be present with what you’re feeling. To see what you’re going through. To see you, understand you.” Unknown
Can men and women just be friends? This is the question that popped up, “When Harry Met Sally,” and sent some of us scrambling for answers. The answer as far as I’m concerned is that it is next to impossible in most cases.
I used to be the proverbial tomboy in my younger days and as such I had some wonderful friendships with the boys I hung out with. It was nothing sexual but of the innocent variety. I had my pigtails tucked under my cap and my ensemble of shorts and t-shirt had seen better days but I was for all purposes one of the boys.
It all changed when I turned sixteen. I got asked out on my first date. He was cute and I accepted. It was also the first time that I had worn my long hair down leaving it brushed and shiny and I wore a dress for the very first time! Lo and behold, things changed after that. I was no longer “one of the boys” but someone they wanted to dance with and spend time with. However, this friendship thing was still there. I learned that boys and later men make very good friends. There is none of the bitchiness, envy or jealousy, it was just straightforward, “I’m your friend,” stuff and all that it entails.
Later during my university days “friendship” with young men was still going strong. I had lots of men friends and although some were happy to be just a friend, others wanted more and that became complicated and made things difficult.
Now, I’m finding out that men are not as simple as they seem. There is a thing called, “friends with benefits,” and it is not my thing and never has been. I’m seeking the pure friendship variety like I used to know when life was simple and innocence was front and center. The problem is no matter how hard I try to make it clear right from the start it never fails before it starts heading in an unwanted direction. Not too long ago, I had this conversation with a male friend. We’ve known each other for quite some time and we’ve done walks, lunches and dinners but nothing more. Well, just a hug or a peck on the cheek as friends do. Here’s how the conversation went.
Me: Wouldn’t it be nice to have a Pyjama Party? We can watch some movies and just talk?
Him: I would like some snacks.
Me: Sure, I can get that.
I was thinking this is going great. Just some company with no hassles whatsoever!
Him: I don’t think I can do that!
Me: Why not?
Him: I CAN’T!”
Hmm…does everything have to be sexual? He was honest and that was a good thing but I wanted my good old days back and the reality is, those days have flown the coop!
Let me ask you:
“Can men and women ever just be friends?”
“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” Ed Cunningham
Some days it is doing nothing but it never turns out that way. I always find something to keep me occupied.
I’m working on two books, one is a children’s book and it is in the process of being published. The other which is taking time is a novel and it is a huge undertaking. Writing is sometimes strange. Some days the flow is good and at others it is a stop and go or it comes to a complete standstill for some time. Whatever it is, writing is one of my leisure time activities to free the mind and to get my thoughts down on paper instead of keeping it stored in this thing, I call my mind.
Walking is the other. Being out in nature especially by myself is something I cherish. Winter doesn’t make it easy because most days it is dark, windy or cold and even though I don’t get out in nature everyday, I still make an effort to stay in touch with it. It is one of the nicest ways to relax the mind, to embrace lessons if I open my mind to it and to let go of what I hold inside. I call it, my “zen” time and I usually come back with a smile on my face so what’s not to like?
Daily writing prompt
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
Site Title 