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Let Go Gracefully (Archives)

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Just like that….it is over. The feelings and emotions crowding your mind and raging through your body are almost too much to bear. Disbelief, anger, sadness, numbness, confusion and rage could be some of the emotions taking hold and letting go gracefully is the last thing on your mind.

It is a normal reaction. Give it time to settle down even if it feels like it never will right now. It is done for, so let it go gracefully.

“The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go.” Unknown

It is not easy to let go and it is downright scary. Suddenly it becomes real and very uncomfortable. Most of us look at it as a relationship ending and there is a mad scramble within to want to save what can’t be saved. What went wrong is the first question that comes to mind. The more pertinent question is, does it even matter? Crying over split milk is a lost cause and venting over lost time and energy even more so. Consider it a sunk cost and take steps to move on.

Did I neglect his needs, wants and feelings?

Did he neglect mine?

What led to the breakup?

Did he fall into me or was I the one doing the chasing running circles around him?

Did he hurt me intentionally? There is a difference between hurting someone and hurting someone intentionally. The latter is done with total disrespect knowing full well that the action taken will have repercussions and not of the nice kind.

More importantly, how much of what I didn’t want, did I tolerate?

The answers coming back could be eye-openers because, as women, we tend to have blinders on when it comes to love and relationships. What we wouldn’t tolerate normally are the very things we are quick to disregard when it comes to that special person in our life.

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Unknown

Letting go is a grieving process. You’ll have to go through the grieving to get to the other side. There are five steps to the process. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. There is a quote that goes like this:

“The buffalo is the only animal that runs into a storm rather than away from it.”

Why? It’s because, “they instinctively know that walking into a storm will get them out of the weather quicker, despite knowing they’ll suffer more up front.” Face your problems head-on with courage and determination and by spending time there instead of ignoring them you will be able to move past them more quickly and effectively.

However, if you don’t want to do all five of the grieving techniques, accept what has happened, don’t ponder too much on why it happened but know that sometimes:

“Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path.” Unknown

AND

“Some things break your heart but fix your vision.” Unknown

Let go gracefully and walk away with your dignity intact. Smile even if it hurts and turn the switch off. It is done for now and you’ll be fine.

Have an amazing day.

What Makes Me Laugh?

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I would say a lot of things. I look for laughter everyday and it is an effort that I take seriously. It has been said, “laughter is the best medicine,” and I totally agree. A day without laughter in my world is like a day without sunshine. It is tinged with grey and something seems to be sorely lacking.

Seeking laughter is in my daily to-do list. Stand-up comedy is a good source. I love Max Amini and his brand of comedy. He always has me laughing and if that gets boring, I watch comedies which definitely does the trick and puts a sunshiny spin on my mood. Then there is the abundant supply of jokes out there that tickles my funny bone and I have posted some of them here. Not always funny to some but it is to me and that matters.

My most important laughter maker and stress buster is Chachi, the cat, aka Little Einstein. Not a day goes by without laughter from that angle. He doesn’t even have to do anything, just standing there with his front paws crossed has me breaking out in laughter. There is just something about the little guy that brings smiles and laughter in my direction. Perhaps it is called love, the unconditional kind. Whatever it is, I have found my perpetual source of laughter and it is of the happiness kind. He instigates it sometimes unknowingly but it does the trick and most days I wear a smile on my face having indulged in rip-roaring laughter. Laughter is there to be harvested if you just pay attention and decide to give it a chance. Try it, it is a beautiful thing and it gives stress a boot out the door!

Daily writing prompt

What makes you laugh?

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Pete Hegseth (Archives)

Update:

Nothing much has changed. Hegseth is in the eye of the storm and many are calling for his resignation and rightfully so. He was unqualified for the job of Defense Secretary and still is and add incompetence and downright arrogance and you’ve got the answer as to why he should resign.

Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth, was sworn into his new role by Vice President JD Vance on January 18th.

“When President Trump chose me for this position, the primary charge he gave me was to bring the warrior culture back to the Department of Defense.” Was it missing? The warrior culture I mean.

He further added, “He, like me, wants a Pentagon laser-focused on lethality, meritocracy, warfighting, accountability and readiness.” He also said, “this is the most important deployment of my life.”

All fine and good. Let’s take a good hard look at the 29th secretary of defense. First of all, he is the least qualified person to ever serve in this position. However, he has two things going for him according to Michael J. Hicks, an Opinion Contributor with USA Today.

“First he doesn’t give a whit about our Constitution. Indeed, he seems eager to fire generals based solely on their willingness to obey the legal orders of the reelected president.”

Hmm….

One of the two characteristics that make him a perfect candidate to serve under Trump.

Second, “Hegseth’s private life provides close parallels to those of the 47th president. Hegseth has cheated on at least two of his three wives, divorcing two.”

By the way, is the President aware that Hegseth once claimed on national TV that he hasn’t washed his hands for 10 years because, “germs are not a real thing. I can’t see them; therefore they’re not real.” He later claimed it was much ado about nothing. So, what does the 47th president and self-professed germophobe think about this and more importantly did they shake hands? He’s good-looking so germs don’t matter that much right?

Let’s look at Pete Hegseth’s tattoos. The man has multiple tattoos and two of them are often associated with extremist groups. The chest tattoo of the Jerusalem cross and an arm tattoo of the Latin phrase, “Deus Vult,” meaning “God Wills it.” Hegseth gave pushback saying, “I don’t give a damn – but this type of targeting of Christians, conservatives, patriots and everyday Americans will stop on DAY ONE at (Trump’s) DoD.”

It did but for targeting immigrants with tattoos. Trump thinks immigrants with tattoos are all criminals. What’s good for the goose is also good for the gander? Not in this administration.

If you kowtow to the “new Messiah” all things are possible is the message. Tattoos, sexual assault charges and no qualifications don’t matter. If you do the bidding, you’ve got it made!

Big Dreams at Five?

Seriously? I was a dreamer at five years of age as I think most young children are. School was looming in the horizon somewhere and I had nothing pressing on my agenda. It was time to be a young girl with her head in the clouds and her mind drumming up a fantasy world filled with little people, mushrooms hiding creatures that spoke and a world where the animals had a voice.

My biggest role at the time was that of a fairy complete with a magic wand! I walked around making stories up in my head and I had a relationship going but only with the ducks, rabbits and whatever else I came into contact with. Ambition was nowhere to be seen but I didn’t know it at the time but those forays into the fantasy world would become the stepping stone into the world of writing. I currently write children’s books and I give animals a voice so nothing much has changed in that respect!

Coming back to your question, five was a time for dreaming, playing with my thoughts which was just taking shape and other than that, it was a fantastic world of make-believe and unimaginable fun!

Daily writing prompt

When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?

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Gaggle of Fools

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“Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.” Unknown

Trump is calling the Signal breach debacle a ‘witch hunt’ and Defense Secretary, Pete Hegseth, is standing on his head and denying that the Signal chat messages contained any classified materials. However, The Atlantic published those messages on Wednesday and it was clear to everyone whether you’re an expert on operational security or not, that a massive breach of sensitive information had taken place. The Trump regime is sticking to wordplay. More specifically, “Attack plans vs. War plans.” Does it matter? According to them, it does.

Instead of taking accountability and trying to correct a mistake, they are thumping their chests and blowing smoke in every direction. However, the truth remains. One source had this to say, “We don’t provide that level of information on unclassified systems, in order to protect the lives and safety of the servicemembers carrying out these strikes. If we did, it would be wholly irresponsible. My most junior analysts know not to do this.”

The Defence Secretary should have known this if he had been qualified. Therein lies the truth of the matter.

“Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.” Unknown

Breathing In Life

It’s interesting how everything comes back to this one thing and that is breathing. We pay it very little mind as we rush through life and forget that it exists but only as something we take for granted. It is that motion of taking in a breath and letting it out that tells us we are alive but how are we breathing? Has stress made your breathing harder, has anger stopped it in its tracks or has sadness made it shallow and rhythmless? Probably all of those things and more. Yet, if we stopped breathing than life would come to a standstill.

I found some beautiful quotes that gets you thinking about this thoughtless process we call breathing. It speaks to just how beautiful and essential it is to breathe and to pay attention to the kind of breathing we are doing.

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful its ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living, heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” LR Knost

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“Stop your worrying, panicking and stressing.

BREATHE.

Remember, you made it this far through difficulties that seemed impossible. Remember how many times you were saved at the very last minute – this time is no different.” Bryant McGill

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“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” Mandy Hale

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“As you waste your breath complaining about life, someone out there is breathing their last breath.” Appreciate what you have.” Unknown

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“Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” Unknown

Did something or someone take your breath away today? The Magnolia tree out back took my breath away this morning. It is getting ready to bloom and soon it will be a showpiece as it is every year and it will be enough to take your breath away. The daffodils are shaking their yellow heads, their beauty simple but breathtaking. Most of all, the lone deer that ran through the fields this morning was mesmerizing and breathtaking as I stood and watched it do its spring dance of happiness. I got my daily dose of breathtaking moments today but I’m sure there will be more tomorrow, I just need to appreciate what’s in front of me.

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“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breath and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are.” Unknown

YOU GOT THIS.

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“Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?” Mary Oliver

Words to pay attention to. We deserve better don’t you think?

Have an amazing day.

Strength

I think it is that you have everything within you to overcome what life throws your way. We have this insane power within that goes untapped most times because our first line of defense when adversity strikes is to howl at the moon and cry, “Why me?” Sure it gets the frustration out at the time or it is a way of letting out steam but in the long run, it is nothing compared to going within to bring that undefeatable power to the forefront, the one that can slay dragons if you let it.

There is tremendous power and strength within and I have tapped into this potential only to find that it is limitless. It is not easy I agree because human nature is weak and we are complainers more than anything else but if we can just understand that there is an untapped potential within and it can be used to overcome whatever it is that seems impossible at first but if given time and a single-minded focus, it is doable. I’ve fallen flat on my face many times over but these days, I don’t stay there. I go within to find the answers and the strength to move on. Standing still in one place is not an option, not for long anyway but moving on is. It may sound like mumbo jumbo to some but you were built to survive anything that life throws your way and you are equipped to do just that.

Daily writing prompt

What’s something most people don’t understand?

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The Little Big Voice (Archives)

We’ve all heard it whenever we do something wrong, or think we have done something wrong. We hear it when we take a fall, when we fail or when we know it is wrong and still do it only to find out that it was the wrong thing to do. It is at these times that the “inner critic” within is the loudest.

It yells, “Are you stupid? Why did you do that?”

It shouts, “You knew better but YOU still had to do that! WHY?”

“Your inner critic is the voice of your fear with a megaphone.” Unknown

There are other such moments but you get the picture. According to http://www.imermelbpsychology.com.au., your inner critic is that voice in your head that has a cold, demanding, harsh, punishing or mean quality to it,” and if you look deeper or further, “It is usually experienced as an inner voice attacking a person, saying that they are bad, wrong, inadequate, worthless, guilty and so on.” wikipedia.org

It is not a nice little voice and sometimes it booms when it wants to be heard. It has a tendency to make you feel anxious and often it magnifies the bad and minimizes the good in our lives. However, the inner critic is not something you’re born with but it is developed during childhood when a child often hears harsh criticism from “parents, caretakers, teachers and peers,” and it can change the way the brain develops. When it is given constant reinforcement of such negativity it helps to internalize self-judgment and a critical stance of oneself. The unhealthy inner critic leans towards destructive criticism and it can produce feelings of shame, low self-esteem, depression, self-doubt and it can undermine your self-confidence.

“Your inner critic re-affirms untruths about yourself that you have internalized to be true.” Athena Laz

This little big voice is not your cheerleader but it is very adapt at giving you the constant thumbs-down whenever you question something you’ve done or have thought about. Instead of bolstering you up, it joins in to tear you down and dances to the tune with glee. It is also exhausting, demoralizing and tells you in its loudest voice that you are not enough.

“The negative self-talk from your inner critic can be soothed by increasing your self-compassion and self kindness.” @heytiffanyroe

According to jessicaabel.com, you can soften that harsh and demanding voice. “When you access your inner critic and give it space and self-compassion, it will be more likely to ease up on you. When we slow down, ask questions, and take a breath; when we stop and don’t try to overwhelm and undermine that voice, we’re likely to find a little bit of wisdom about something that needs to be healed.”

“Understanding how the critical inner voice has affected your actions and held you back from opportunities will open your eyes to the power you have given to your inner critic.” Usha Maharaj

Turning down the volume on all that criticism, sort of taking away that megaphone to hush that loud and critical voice is one way to do it. Slaying it is not the answer because a little bit of “inner critic” is a good thing. Letting it get out of hand is another thing altogether and learning to respond to it is a good thing as well. This takes a lot of practice because you have to switch from silencing your inner critic to listening to it with empathy. Recruit it and add it your team. That seems like a good idea because we can all use some extra help in building us up and I think it (the inner critic) wants to help but unlike your intuition which has your best interest at heart, this spoiled and often loud voice just needs some taming to make it work for you.

If all else fails, you can:

“Press the switch off button to your inner critic and start being awesome.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Technology and Job

It doesn’t matter these days as I am taking time out to get a book published and another one is in the works. However, as a former Fashion Editor for a fashion magazine, I didn’t do the mundane task of putting the articles together. There were others who were computer savvy or rather tech savvy who did the job of getting the articles ready for publication. I just did the writing part but the rest was left to a team which was a good thing because I am a technology klutz or rather I hate anything new that creeps in while I am not looking and disrupts my day to day existence!

I’m sure technology has added to and made things easier in the publication world and the world of writing but I still dig in my heels when I see something new that needs me to brush up on computer technology. Just this morning, I wanted to log into WordPress and I got a white screen. Nothing more! I later found out it was called the Death Screen! I had to Google putting my frustration aside and it gave some tips on how to rectify that problem. One was to clear the Cache. What the hell was that?!! Anyway, I found out and cleared the Cache whatever that is and got it to work. Not a klutz after all but I hate new technology and I also understand that it is needed in today’s fast paced of ours.

Daily writing prompt

How has technology changed your job?

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I AM LEARNING (Archives)

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I am learning that each new day is a reminder to do better.

I am learning that I am fully capable of dealing with everything life throws my way.

I am learning that I need to practice gratefulness and to be thankful for all that I have.

I am learning to accept me as I am and to make changes if some of those things don’t work to my greater good.

I am learning to let go of things that don’t serve me and I am making room for those that do.

I am learning that I can’t change people, I can only change myself.

I am learning that life is a journey full of ups and downs and nothing stays the same forever.

I am learning that there is no such thing as forever, just the here and now.

I am learning that love is fleeting at its best and at its worst, it has the potential to turn your world upside down and inside out. Tread carefully.

I am learning that cheaters never change. They are repeat offenders. Integrity is just another word to them. A relationship with such an individual is like throwing pearls at pigs.

I am learning that today is a blessing, a gift and I have it in my power to make it an amazing day.

I am learning that life is ever-changing. It is a learning curve and mistakes are made to show us a new way of handling things and to learn and to grow from it. Perhaps that is what life is all about.

“But most of all, I am slowly learning how to just be in this moment. How to exist. How to understand that I cannot control life, that I can only experience it in both its light and its dark stages. I am slowly learning how to laugh and cry and feel through it all, how to welcome the confusion and the joy that come with loving and living and breaking. I am slowly learning how to accept where I am”

“I am slowly learning how to simply believe in the person I am becoming.” Unknown

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!