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An Ode to an Angel

“Angels appear in many different forms to hold your hand through difficult times.” Doreen Virtue

Three years already? Has it been that long? I can still hear your laughter, that soft raspy laugh and I can hear you saying, “You’re so bad with time.” I totally agree.

I lit a candle for you today. It’s just symbolic. It’s what humans do to show their caring and to say, “I’m thinking about you.” However, I think “up there” where you’re at, they’ve got much better things planned for you today.

What can I say that I haven’t said already? The “thank yous” never seem enough and the love you showed a broken heart and the healing you brought into my life was unexpected but it was needed. You swooped in and carried me on your wings and for a while, my world began to right itself.

Remember the first laughter that escaped from me? The loud and no holds barred kind that had me bending over till tears started running down my face? When it subsided, I looked at you with new eyes. There was something about you. It wasn’t just the good looks, the soft spoken ways about you but there was something special about you. I felt comfortable in your presence. I called it a feeling of home. I also felt safe in your presence but I couldn’t love you the way you wanted. I was too broken at the time but you took that in stride. Your love never wavered. We, my son and I, became a part of your world.

No, it wouldn’t last long but during the time you were here, you showed us what love was about. It was unconditional, it was focused and it was filled with caring. I didn’t see your wings back then, I only knew you were someone special.

I still talk about you and it is with reverence and sometimes I see anger because your shoes are hard to fill. I was told, “Not everyone can be like him!” I agree and I KNOW that those shoes can never be filled. They belonged to an angel and no earthly human is going to measure up. However, I’m not looking for someone to fill those shoes, just someone who will love me for who I am.

So, the candle is burning bright. It’s not one that you bought me. That supply has been exhausted. This one I bought myself. I still see you as you were. The tall frame dressed in a shirt and jeans, green eyes smiling, the same color as Chachi’s eyes, the quiet confidence that seemed to reach out and take me in its hold. I felt “safe” there and there are times when I reach out for that safety and there are times when I still feel you close to me.

I’ll say thank you again for all that you gave me in that short space of time. You showed me that there is a “better” love out there. You helped to mend those clipped wings so thank you my angel and I hope you have a fantastic day today.

“Angels never stay for long.”

My Definition of Romantic

There are grand gestures and then there are smaller gestures. Grand gestures are dinners in a nice restaurant complete with flowers and a walk somewhere nice. I go for the other variety. Flowers are nice and I love them but the romantic gesture that captures my heart is a walk by the beach, the sky above emblazoned with a thousand stars, the scent of the ocean and the sound of the waves, add to that a touch of the hand, a glance in my direction that speaks more than words can say followed by a moonlit kiss, soft and gentle. This would be my perfect definition of a romantic or a romance-filled evening.

Last year, I was seeing someone. It was a long distance relationship but he would drive the three hours to spend the weekend here. He would bring flowers and we would go out to a nice dinner or take a walk in another village and just let the evening develop. The thing I liked best was that we could sit out back for hours on end, watch the stars come out without saying a word. Once or twice, he would reach out and just hold my hand or give me a kiss on the cheek. Nothing spectacular but it did make my heart skip a beat. What happened to him? That’s another story. Time spent together was enjoyable and at times it felt like home. That too is my definition of a romantic.

I don’t think I’m a romantic but I do love a guy going out of his way to show that he cares. The friend who passed away was a pure romantic. He ran the gamut and nothing was left to chance. Flowers, expensive gifts, dinners, you name it, he was into it. I knew without a doubt that the guy was full-on in. Others are more subtle but still it’s the caring that counts and the little gestures that make up a true romantic.

Daily writing prompt

What’s your definition of romantic?

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The Little Things

“Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to accomplish something big, that we fail to notice the little things that give life its magic.” Unknown

The “little things” or rather appreciating those seemingly minor or unimportant moments that go to make up life is of minute importance but they are important so today I’m going to concentrate on them and give them the credit they deserve.

The cooing of the pigeons usually irritates me but this morning I’ve decided to let it fly over my head! It has been said that pigeons coo in the mornings, “to communicate with each other, often to attract mates or to defend their territory.” Nice, but I’m not going to get on the rooftop to “attract my mate!” He’s on the way so I’ll let him take his time getting here.

In the meantime, the hot cup of coffee is soothing and the song of the blackbirds out there is like a symphony in my head. Chachi, the cat, stretched out in front of the fan and cooling himself off brings a smile to my face. We’re smack dap in the middle of a heatwave and nothing is helping. Not showers, not roomy t-shirts and not even flip-flops! Nothing much anyone can do but to make the best of it. The Dyson fan is doing a great job of keeping things cool and that is one of the little things.

“I try to find a reason to laugh each day. Somehow, if you can incorporate laughter into your day, everyday, it really helps. It’s the little things in life that make me happy.” Faith Hill

I truly believe in the soothing qualities of laughter. Chachi helps me in that respect. His wobbly gait as he chases a lone fly that had somehow survived the night and is now on his radar makes me laugh. I know that it’s just a matter of time before it too meets its maker!

Note to Self: Cut back on feeding the fly catcher!

A text message saying, “Good morning and have a wonderful week,” puts a smile on my face. It came early but he’s caring that way. Just something small, not a big, gorgeous bouquet of flowers but something small to say, I’m thinking of you,” and it was enough to put a different spin on my day.

The news is droning on in the background. Nothing much is happening and news of Trump and his antics makes me want to roll my eyes and do a heave ho but NOT today. I’m about the “little things” today. Things that bring joy, things that I take for granted and things that show me that life is made up of those little things. Pay attention to them for they have the ability to change your mood, to lighten your load and to put a smile on your face.

What about the big things? They’re there but somehow in the grand scheme of things, they don’t matter as much in the here and now.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” Robert Brault

AND

“It’s the little things that usually have the greatest impact in life.

A smile, a hug, a thank you and a compliment.” Unknown

Exactly what I’m going to focus and concentrate on today.

Have an amazing day.

This Little Light (Archives)

HE’S STILL MY LITTLE LOVE!

Waking up this morning I could hear the sound of rain on the rooftops and it sounded soothing to my ears. As I stretched in bed, I felt a warmth at my side. Then I heard soft purring and a pair of green eyes looking up at me. As our eyes touched, my little love let out a sound which sounded almost like a purr. Chachi was in his wide-awake mode and happy with the world and so was I, for the moment at least.

I whisper, “Good morning baby,” and pull him closer to me. The purring picks up in intensity and has a rhythm all its own. His fur feels soft and cuddly warm and the sideways glance he throws in my direction says more than words can say and melts my heart. Chachi walked into my life almost seven years ago and found his niche by my side and he is here to stay.

How did it happen? I don’t know. Pets have a way of doing that and the light they bring is irreplaceable. I call him my shadow. Lately, he has taken to keeping pace with me. If I’m in the kitchen, he’s there watching my every move. If I’m in the cellar, he’s right there stretched out on the floor and pretending like he’s minding his own business but in reality minding mine. Most days, I talk to him about my day and he yawns not out of boredom but more like, “Tell me more.” At least, I hope that’s what it is. When I leave the house, he stares and I can tell that this part is not the favourite part of the day for him. I kiss his forehead telling him to be a good boy and when I walk back in, he greets me with a happy dance.

Some days when I’m sad, I hold him close and my heart takes off soaring. When I need cheering up, he walks up to me with his tattered beyond repair toy bird in his mouth and throws it at my feet waiting for the “Good Boy!” pat on his forehead. Most days, we are each other’s best buddy. Lately, we’ve got a new routine, a workout routine that is. Once I start the music and start moving, he walks in and joins in. Sometimes he tries to climb up one leg. The goal is to get as many kisses as possible, who cares about working out! After he has had enough, he climbs on the bed and watches me till I finish.

“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” Sigmund Freud

The light I speak of is the unspoken bond between us. A beautiful iridescent light that glows with love, respect and lots of cuddling. Of course, cats have their own way of showing love but it is love nonetheless. Instead of giving me a kiss on the mouth or on the nose, he brushes past and heads for the forehead and there he plants one right in the middle. A kiss so light and airy that my breath catches in my throat and a sigh escapes softly from my being. A lover couldn’t have done any better. We don’t speak the same language but we share a universal one, the language of love. The day is filled with tiny interludes of this nature and often it makes me feel like I’m dancing and twirling on my toes. Often I mumble, “Houston, I think we have a problem. I’m in love!”

I am thankful for this four-legged fur ball of a being who walked into my life and has taken permanent residency there and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.” Charles Dickens

Have an amazing day.

This Thing Called Love (4)

THE HUNTER:

I’ve written about the different types of men you’ll encounter on dating portals in several of my posts. The narcissists, the players, the control freaks, the users, the sugar daddies and such, but there is one more and I call him the hunter.

Someone who uses the “hunter” behavior is proactive in starting relationships. If they are interested in you, they’ll initiate the chase. Their goal is to win over their potential prey and they’ll go to great lengths to make sure it happens. They’ll use everything in their arsenal and this includes nice dinners, gifts, flowers, sweet nothings whispered in your ear and making you feel like you’re the best thing since sliced bread!

However, this type also sees “dating” as a game or a challenge. They’re not interested in the real you or in building a deep, lasting connection. You’re nothing more than the pursued to the pursuer. It is all about the excitement of the “hunt.” The initial attraction may take off in leaps and bounds until you become the prize. However, if you’re looking for “forevers,” this guy is not it. He prefers the chase, bagging the prize and when he’s had enough and hears the call of the wild again, he’s off and running to his next victim.

The problem is you don’t matter to the hunter. It’s a game and breaking a heart or two along the way is not going to be a stumbling block for him. All it takes is another woman walking in and one who blinks in his direction and he sees HOPE. Hope of another conquest, hope of the excitement of the chase and hopes that that first kiss will send his adrenaline sky-rocketing. If you’re in such a relationship, let the loser go. Heartbreaking? It is.

Leave the “hunters” to their own viles and look for someone who sees you as a person and not just as a prey!

I think this quote below explains it well.

Ladies, if you have to ask a man, “So what are we?” or “Where is this relationship going?” The answer is nowhere.

Men by nature are hunters and go for what they want. If he wanted you to be his wife, he would have proposed.

If he wanted you to be his lady, he would have asked you.

Men go hard for what they truly want. If he is not going hard for you, you are not what he wants.

Unfortunately, this thing is also called love but it definitely is not the right kind of love. Keep that in mind the next time you meet one of these guys with their pistols cocked! Tell them to take a hike from the get go.

Have an amazing day.

RUMI (Archives)

Jalal al-Din Rumi was a 13th century poet. He was born in Afghanistan and he was a Sufi mystic whose poetry embraces themes of “overcoming fear and persevering through challenges.” He speaks of finding strength in vulnerability and to be grateful for whatever comes. I find courage and beauty in his words and it touches my soul AND his words are one of great wisdom.

“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”

I do act small when first faced with adversity but it is only a matter of time before I rise again knowing that I can deal with this too.

“I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.”

This one speaks to who I am, I am one with nature and I find freedom with the animals and the bird life and often I want to sing like I used to as a young child not caring who listens or who is watching. I do that with my writing too.

“If everything around you seems dark, look again, you may be the LIGHT.”

Simply beautiful and when darkness surrounds seeing the light in you doesn’t seem like a bad thing to me.

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

This one tugged at my heart when I first saw it. My first thought, I don’t feel the light but he is speaking of another kind of light, the kind that teaches and heals.

“The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.”

Moving on requires acceptance and that is precisely the point here. Done that many times over.

“When you go through a hard period, when everything seems to oppose you, when you feel you cannot even bear one more minute, NEVER GIVE UP! Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!”

I guess you have to hit ground zero before life turns around. Can we make it a little easier please?

“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”

This one makes grieving a little less painful, at least it did for me.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

This last one is so poetic. Yes I wanted to change the world, I still do but nowadays it is more about changing “me” first.

Have an amazing day.

Settling for Less

“Never settle for less than you desire or deserve because when you accept crumbs people will assume that you will be happy with scraps.” @StacyBranche

Women do this more than men do. Perhaps it’s because we want to feel wanted at any cost and even if that person isn’t who we want, we see it, we feel it deep within and we know that he isn’t the right one, but when “settling” walks in we accept what we normally wouldn’t only to find ourselves in an unhappy relationship.

“If you put someone at the top of your priority list and they put you at the bottom of theirs, maybe it’s time to get out the eraser.” Susan Gale

I love this quote from Susan Gale. That eraser doesn’t see the light of day because we’re so busy making sure that the person who takes us for granted and always puts us at the bottom of their list gets treated like royalty.

Settling for less is defined as, “accepting something or someone that is below your desired or expected standard.” It also equates to staying with a partner who doesn’t fully meet your needs or with whom you’re not truly happy.” Knowing that, why are we so quick at wanting to settle for less?

Some reasons, according to experts, is that we are afraid of being alone, low self-esteem and consistently making concessions, where one partner concedes and accepts while the other doesn’t reciprocate or meet their needs.

When you settle for less you’ll find yourself in a backburner relationship which means, “they’ll keep you around their orbits because they want to be with you – but at their convenience.” They’ll come up with excuses such as, “I’m not ready for commitment yet,” or “they’re working on themselves,” and the classic which goes like this. “Just not now.” That’s where this next quote fits in perfectly.

“Don’t settle. Either they will wake up to the fact that you are worth more…… or you will.” Charles J. Orlando

Know that you’re worth so much more than what you’re willing to settle for. If he’s a loser, let him go. If he’s a procrastinator, definitely let him go and if he’s an a**, run and don’t look back! You deserve better and definitely don’t make yourself into a mouse because the cat will eat you!

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” Nelson Mandela

Aim high and reach for the stars because YOU deserve only the best. You belong in the winner’s circle so act like you’re already there and show the losers the door with no hesitation whatsoever. Something better is on the way.

“Sometimes the hardest part of being a great catch is accepting not everyone’s hands are strong enough to hold you.” Unknown

Keep that in mind and have an amazing day.

Chachi’s Continuing Saga

Perhaps I spoke too soon yesterday. Chachi, the cat, was doing fine earlier in the day but he took a turn for the worse later. When evening rolled around, he was looking lethargic again even though he had slept most of the day away and his eyes didn’t have the brightness they usually have.

There was no constant meowing and he was eating and drinking like he usually does. However, something seemed off and when he took to hiding under the bed, alarm bells started going off. Still, I held my calm and tried not to panic. It was hard not to do. I tried talking to him but he was quiet. Later in the evening, he walked out and after eating some food, he jumped on the bed. Holding him close, I whispered softly that all will be well. He purred and fell asleep. I made a mental note to clean under the bed. The dust bunnies have gathered and they’ve made that space their party central!

We had a goodnight’s sleep and I slept longer than usual. Wakeup time, according to Little Macho is 5:30 a.m., but this morning, I only woke up at 7 a.m., not for lack of trying from Chachi’s end!

However, I noticed that he was up and about and going about his business. When he heard the slight movement from the human, he came running and looking up, he went, “GET UP ALREADY!” He was back and his eyes looked bright and his walk was full of energy. We headed downstairs with the little macho leading the way. While making breakfast, I noticed he was running up and down the stairs like a mad cat!

ME: “You feeling better Chachi?”

He stops and winks, one slow and two fast winks and takes off again, this time to the cellar. It was quiet for a while so I headed downstairs and noticed that the runner was all bunched up. He does that all the time. Then I saw him sitting in the corner getting ready to pounce on something. It was a tiny little spider that he had cornered and had in his sight. It stood no chance against the seasoned hunter. I quickly picked it up with a tissue and flushed it down the toilet!

ME: “Stop eating creepy crawlies! You’ve probably messed up your stomach eating one of these things.”

Summer and winter brings in the occasional fly, spiders and such so nothing new there.

HIM: “You’re a party pooper mommy!” Just because you have no FUN doesn’t mean I can’t have mine!”

He’s right, mom is a stick in the mud and “FUN” is not part of her lifestyle right now but I wasn’t going to let this little snort tell me that. So I shooed him up the stairs and said, “I’m going to clean under the bed after breakfast!”

He stopped, turned around and went, “NO! NO! NO!”

ME: “Why not?”

HIM: “I’ve got STUFF!”

ME: “What stuff?”

HIM: “Boy stuff!”

ME: “What do you mean boy stuff? May I remind you that you’re not a ……”

I stopped mid-sentence knowing full well that he’s right. He’s a little boy in my mind and whatever “boy stuff” he’s talking about, I really didn’t want to know!

So I ran a wet mop under the bed to clear the dust bunnies who put up a fight as well as the little macho stood watching me. Whatever else was there I left as is. Some secrets are better left alone.

The royal pain in the you know what is running around caught up in his world of make-believe and I’m happy that he’s happy. He’s doing much better and I hope it stays that way. Fingers crossed!

Have an amazing day.

Einstein’s Bout with the Unknown (Update)

He is back to his normal self and this morning started really early with him tapping my head to get me out of bed! Then followed, “MOMMY!!” It was a signal that all was well again and he was raring to go. The little motorized mouse wasn’t moving anymore but that’s par for the course. Little Einstein plays rough and he has this passive-aggressive thing going. The mouse looks fine but psychologically, I can’t vouch for it!

The little guy in the fur coat hasn’t been feeling well for a few days. It could be the heatwave or the thunderstorms that followed but Little Einstein looks like he has had it up to here, if you know what I mean.

He’s been moping around and energetic he is not. His whole demeanor speaks of someone who has had a tough few days. Mom had to step in and with the help of Google, I’ve tried soups to soothe an upset stomach, thick green paste especially for gastrointestinal problems and lots of water but all to no avail. They only helped for a day or two.

So I brought home a little friend. I thought that would cheer him up. A motorized little mouse, cute as a button, that had his tail wagging for a while and then he slapped it down with one paw and that was the end of that. This morning I woke up to find his toy basket overturned and all his stuffed toys on the floor along with the stuffing!

ME: “Did you have a party last night Chachi?!! It must have been a wild one.”

A snort and a Garfield stare later, he goes, “I have nothing to say!”

I tried a different ploy. I got some stomach oil from the pet store. A few drops in his food and it should do the trick of getting him on the mend again. He’s not called Little Einstein for nothing! The food is still sitting there untouched and each time he goes past it, he makes “burying” motions with his paws and looks up at me!

If things don’t get better, a vet’s visit will be next. I’m not looking forward to that so I’ll try lots of kisses, hugs, attention and cuddles to see if I can cheer the little fella up. The white flag is up and tonight he gets his favorite tuna with nothing mixed in! The things I do for the four-legged baby short of standing on my head and doing circus tricks!

He’s worth it!

Have an amazing day.

Einstein’s Bout with the Unknown

ME: “Did you have a party last night Chachi?!! It must have been a wild one.”

A snort and a Garfield stare later, he goes, “I have nothing to say!”

He’s worth it!

Have an amazing day.