A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the knob to 10 per cent for starters, explaining that even 10 per cent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before….But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 per cent pain transfer…..the husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 per cent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.
She and her husband were ecstatic. When they arrived home, the mailman was dead on their porch.
“Once you’ve matured, you realize silence is more powerful than proving a point.” Unknown
Human nature is such that when we think or perceive that a wrong has been done, “silence” one of the most powerful tools in our arsenal is overlooked and venting comes to the forefront. Sure, it feels better after a vent and rage session BUT did you achieve anything?
“He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” Elbert Hubbard
It’s like “throwing pearls before swine” and it translates into, “to offer something valuable to those who will not appreciate or understand its worth.” Herein likes the truth of the matter. If the person never appreciated you in the first place, no amount of anger, rage, or venting is going to make them change their mind. It boils down to, “You didn’t matter to them.” The truth hurts doesn’t it? Sure it does, but don’t expect them to see that hurt because they won’t. The thing is, they don’t care. YOU have to learn that not all responses, rejections, or insults deserve a response. Pick your battles carefully and to someone who didn’t see your worth in the first place, this is a losing one. It is time to close the door and to move on.
“Sometimes, silence is the best revenge. Not every lie or deceit deserves your reaction. Embrace the power of quiet strength and let your peace speak louder than words.” Unknown
In times past, any wrongdoing was met with strong words, anger and even sadness but these days I “embrace silence” and I go within to find my strength and that is where my power resides.
“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” Rumi
Believe me, HEAR you will. You will not only hear but also see clearly all the unworthy things you put up with. How you gave credit to someone who didn’t deserve an iota of it and how you stood by and let them take your heart for a ride of the unsavory kind. I guess you can say I’ve matured because “letting go” of such individuals has become a matter of fact thing. I let my silence do the talking. However, when you do embrace silence, don’t expect that they’ll come running back. Accept it as water under the bridge because the wrongdoers know what they’re about and your silence is not going to change them.
There is no winning, just a conscious decision to let go and let it float away. There will be better days and better people on the way. The wrong ones will fade away. You just need to detach from the drama. Don’t let your emotions control you, open your mind and observe carefully. Embracing silence helps you to do just that. Here’s the thing, not everyone deserves access to your emotions.
“When you understand your worth, arguments become unnecessary.” Unknown
The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy. I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I started jumping up and down along with her.
She said, “I have some really great news.”
I said, “Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.”
She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, and told me that she was pregnant.
I knew that she had been trying for awhile and told her I thought it was great and that I couldn’t be happier for her.
She said, “There’s more.”
I asked, “What do you mean?”
She said, “Well we are not having just one baby. We are going to have twins.”
Amazed at how fast she could know that so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.
She said, “I went to Walmart and they actually had a home pregnancy test in a twin pack. Both tests came out positive!”
Being on dating websites or portals is hard enough without having to wade through the minefield of “scammers” who come across as the nicest guys on the planet!
It started out as a nice day yesterday until I looked at one of the dating website I was on to see what was going on. Surprisingly, I had many invites. Boys who could be as young as my son, men professing love without even having met me and one guy who seemed like a viable candidate. He was tall, nice-looking and his profile read well or rather, it got my atttention. He was very interested just from reading my profile and my pic which is normal I guess. There is nothing else to go on. Anyway, he was much YOUNGER and I told him, “Sorry, you seem nice but I don’t go for younger men.”
HIM: “Just a few years makes no difference and I don’t care about age. There is something about you that touches me.”
Hmm…..good line and to a lesser individual one not well-versed in “scamming” this would definitely be a pull to jump into that sinkhole! He was dealing with someone else but he wasn’t aware of it yet.
HIM: “Tell me something about yourself and PLEASE give us a chance.!”
So I did tell him a little about myself but kept it general.
HIM: “I like you! There is just something about you, I don’t know what.”
The “something” could be that I am a pro in seeking out and discarding scammers!
HIM: “I am a Director of……a big job and I have a lot of responsibility.”
ME: “That seems like a big job so why interested in me? I’m sure you have a lot of women interested in you. My ex did. Just his job alone brought women out of the woodwork.”
HIM: “Please don’t tar all men with the same brush! I am honest, loyal and I don’t run around!”
This said with righteous indignation. The “I don’t run around part” did appeal to me but there was SOMETHING that wasn’t quite right about this guy. One thing, in one pic he had light hair and in the other he had dark hair! His explanation, when I spend time in the sun, it gets lighter and when not, it is darker. Hmm….but the dark-haired guy doesn’t even look like you! I kept that to myself.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I said alright let’s talk on the phone. Silence from his side. This morning I got a message which told a sad story about him and that he wasn’t in town BUT if I sent him my Whatsapp number, we can stay in touch until he gets back home.
My answer: “Sorry, I don’t give out my number to strangers!”
Nothing so far but I am sure he is plotting something. Scammers! They make online dating a nightmare and a half! However, it is not just the scammers that make traipsing around the dating minefield a horror but the others wearing the mantle of narcissist, married and dating, affair seekers and young men looking for experience! If it is not one, then it is the other.
Lord have mercy!
Update: He just wrote and he says he understands that I am cautious. In today’s world, you can’t be too careful.
HIM: “I’ll be back in town at the weekend. Let’s meet for coffee. We’ll do it your way.”
Hmm….threw me for a loop that one. A nice guy? Should I meet him? What if scammers have evolved and are doing the “meeting” thing now? I don’t know folks but this is perplexing. I’ll keep you updated.
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” Pema Chodron
I took my walk this morning hoping to clear my head of the destructive thoughts that had been given a front-row seat last night. Something happened yesterday that threw my nicely-ordered emotions into chaos and anger emerged with vengeful thoughts ready to take aim and to shoot my opponent down and to slay the dragon with no ifs, ands or buts!
My mom once said, “You’re a Scorpio and like that scorpion you come out ready to sting when backed into a corner.” I tend to agree with her since I’ve put that “stinger” front and center before.
I came face to face with someone who was not only obnoxious but she didn’t give a flying flip about it. Having a discussion with her was like banging your head against a cement wall. Her goal was to get me down to her level and for me to wrestle in the mud with her. I was angry but I kept my cool and walked away patting myself on the back for standing my ground. However, I wanted to put that “stinger” out there and to let her have a dose of her own medicine!
I CHOOSE PEACE!
“Distance is my new answer to inconsistency, disrespect and bullsh*t. My mental peace is my priority. I simply remove access to me.”
The woman in question is a fascist. She was as ugly outside as what she stood for. An old battle-ax who had left her “Nazi” boots back in her closet! There, I’ve said it! Anyway, I spent the evening going over the things that bugged me. The thing is, you can’t talk sense or make someone see the light when they are so steeped in hate, intolerance and ugliness.
I CHOOSE PEACE!
Learn to be done, not mad, not bothered , just done.
Protect your peace at all costs. Unknown
The sun is shining and I just passed the guy with the dog. We are still beating around the bush. Today, I said, “Good morning” as we passed but he was tongue-tied and looked like a statue frozen in time and just stared! Oh well, some things are not meant to be.
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, “No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I’ve been in a brothel!” The second barber turned to Barack and said, “How about you, Mr. Obama?” Barack replied, “Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn’t know what the inside of a brothel smells like.”
I picked up a hitchhiker. The man got in my car and said, “Thank you for picking me up, but I mean how do you know I am not a serial killer or something?”
I said, “I don’t know for sure, but the chances of 2 serial killers being in one car would be astronomical.”
This is a nice one. I read it somewhere and it made me sit up and take notice because quite often we let our “value” go unnoticed and settle for way less than we are worth.
A father said to his son, “You graduated with honors. Here is a Volkswagen Beetle that I bought many years ago….it is over 50 years old, but before I give it to you, take it to a dealership downtown and ask how much they are offering you.”
The son went to the dealership, came back to his father and said, “They offered me $10,000 because it looks very used.” The father said, “Take it to the pawn shop.”
The son went to the pawn shop, came back and said, “They only offered me $1,000 because they say it is too old.”
Finally, the father asked his son to take the car to a classic car club and show it there. The son took the car to the club, came back and said, “Some people at the club offered me $100,000 because it is a very rare car and sought after among the members.”
The father said to his son, “I wanted you to understand that the right place appreciates you in the right way. If they don’t value you, don’t be angry, it just means you’re in the wrong place. Those who know your value are the ones who truly appreciate you. Never stay in a place where they don’t recognize your value!
Know your worth, know your value and if you are not appreciated, LEAVE The right person will know your worth and will appreciate you for who you are.
Movement is needed in all aspects of our lives. Digging in your heels and staying put never works. It might for a short time but never in the long run. When life shows us its idiosyncrasies, human nature is quick to respond and oftentimes we respond by digging in our heels and thumping our nose at it. The problem is the more you dig in your heels, the bleaker life feels, that’s because:
“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Rachel Wolchin
What is the true meaning of life? Many have tried to find a definition but no one knows for sure. One thing is for sure and that is life happens. It doesn’t stand still and it moves faster than we want it to at times.
“Once a wise man was asked, ‘What’s the meaning of life?’ He replied, ‘Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.’
However, to create meaning out of something that is handed to you and you don’t want to face head on is hard, very hard. First thought that comes to mind when I’m faced with ‘hard’ is, I am going to dig in my heels and ignore it for all its worth. Life, on the other hand, is not going to take no for an answer. Adapt or stay where you are and deal with the consequences of your non-action and that could be worse than what it throws your way. If you want to have the upper hand, you’ve got to MOVE!
John Wooden says,
“If we fail to adapt, we fail to move forward.”
Isn’t that the absolute truth? In order to accept and move on, you first have to change your mindset and make a conscious effort to move on. Where? There are no clear-cut answers and that is the scary part. It seems the outcome is all up to you. Putting one foot in front of the other is needed and taking small steps is needed too. Staring at the four walls in front of you and howling at the moon is not going to do it. You need to MOVE!
You need to take what is handed to you, sieve through the pieces and make sense out of it. Say, I can do this and go do whatever it is that needs to be done and do it. This move is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage and unrelenting strength plus trust that it will all turn out well in the end. Sometimes all it takes to climb that insurmountable mountain is attitude. A positive attitude combined with never giving up will get you to the top of the mountain and beyond. MOVE!
Albert Einstein once said:
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
I like this one better.
“Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles M. Schulz
Always remember, you can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you choose to stay in one place and refuse to MOVE! Don’t let life pass you by. Keeping up is what it is all about.
Site Title 