This is a nice one. I read it somewhere and it made me sit up and take notice because quite often we let our “value” go unnoticed and settle for way less than we are worth.
A father said to his son, “You graduated with honors. Here is a Volkswagen Beetle that I bought many years ago….it is over 50 years old, but before I give it to you, take it to a dealership downtown and ask how much they are offering you.”
The son went to the dealership, came back to his father and said, “They offered me $10,000 because it looks very used.” The father said, “Take it to the pawn shop.”
The son went to the pawn shop, came back and said, “They only offered me $1,000 because they say it is too old.”
Finally, the father asked his son to take the car to a classic car club and show it there. The son took the car to the club, came back and said, “Some people at the club offered me $100,000 because it is a very rare car and sought after among the members.”
The father said to his son, “I wanted you to understand that the right place appreciates you in the right way. If they don’t value you, don’t be angry, it just means you’re in the wrong place. Those who know your value are the ones who truly appreciate you. Never stay in a place where they don’t recognize your value!
Know your worth, know your value and if you are not appreciated, LEAVE The right person will know your worth and will appreciate you for who you are.
Movement is needed in all aspects of our lives. Digging in your heels and staying put never works. It might for a short time but never in the long run. When life shows us its idiosyncrasies, human nature is quick to respond and oftentimes we respond by digging in our heels and thumping our nose at it. The problem is the more you dig in your heels, the bleaker life feels, that’s because:
“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Rachel Wolchin
What is the true meaning of life? Many have tried to find a definition but no one knows for sure. One thing is for sure and that is life happens. It doesn’t stand still and it moves faster than we want it to at times.
“Once a wise man was asked, ‘What’s the meaning of life?’ He replied, ‘Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.’
However, to create meaning out of something that is handed to you and you don’t want to face head on is hard, very hard. First thought that comes to mind when I’m faced with ‘hard’ is, I am going to dig in my heels and ignore it for all its worth. Life, on the other hand, is not going to take no for an answer. Adapt or stay where you are and deal with the consequences of your non-action and that could be worse than what it throws your way. If you want to have the upper hand, you’ve got to MOVE!
John Wooden says,
“If we fail to adapt, we fail to move forward.”
Isn’t that the absolute truth? In order to accept and move on, you first have to change your mindset and make a conscious effort to move on. Where? There are no clear-cut answers and that is the scary part. It seems the outcome is all up to you. Putting one foot in front of the other is needed and taking small steps is needed too. Staring at the four walls in front of you and howling at the moon is not going to do it. You need to MOVE!
You need to take what is handed to you, sieve through the pieces and make sense out of it. Say, I can do this and go do whatever it is that needs to be done and do it. This move is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage and unrelenting strength plus trust that it will all turn out well in the end. Sometimes all it takes to climb that insurmountable mountain is attitude. A positive attitude combined with never giving up will get you to the top of the mountain and beyond. MOVE!
Albert Einstein once said:
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
I like this one better.
“Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles M. Schulz
Always remember, you can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you choose to stay in one place and refuse to MOVE! Don’t let life pass you by. Keeping up is what it is all about.
What is peace? It is not only the absence of war but there is this other kind that is of the utmost importance to some of us. The personal kind where a state of “calmness, inner quiet, and freedom from stress, anxiety, or internal emotional conflict,” reigns supreme. This form of peace is hard to achieve and even when we do find it, it is usually temporary and doesn’t last for long.
I had every intention of embracing peace and tranquility in my life yesterday but it took but one person to smash it to pieces. What happened? It is not important what it was about but it is important that I let that person control how I reacted and responded to what he had to say. I found that the rest of my day was ruined and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get back to where I had started from. One of peace and tranquility.
The following quotes speak to the heart of the matter and on how to find that state of unshakeable peace one that remains regardless of whatever happens around you.
“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” Dalai Lama
I let someone else’s insensitivity and utter carelessness shake what I had built piece by piece. Time to take note and do it differently.
“Nature is the purest portal to inner peace.” Angie Weiland-Crosby
I agree totally. Nature is my sanctuary in moments of stress and chaos and it never fails to soothe and to calm my frazzled nerves.
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” Pema Chodron
I did exactly that yesterday, I let someone else control my emotions.
“Let go of thoughts that don’t make you strong.” Karen Salmanshon
Thoughts like you are not enough, you are not strong enough and you can’t do it! These are all geared to bring you down and make you smaller than you are.
“Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.” Rumi
This is beautiful. Why hold on when you know that it is dead. Let go and move on.
“Be selective with your battles. Sometimes peace is better than being right.” Unknown
Says it all.
“Welcome to your new era where you prioritize your peace over everything.” Unknown
How do you achieve peace?
According to one source, “to achieve peace, practice mindfulness through meditation and focusing on the present, and cultivate positive habits like gratitude, self-care, and by connecting with nature.”
Most of all, stop letting people rattle you because they know they can. Approach a situation with caution and if you sense that your peace of mind is being taken for a ride, LET GO and move on. Don’t forget to shut the door behind you!
Edmund Hillary once said, “It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” There is much truth in that one statement. In order to conquer the mountain, metaphorically speaking, we have to conquer ourselves first.
More often than not, we place lines and boundaries around ourselves that stop us from moving forward, both knowingly and unknowingly. I have talked about the stories we tell ourselves in another article and it still stands true. The narratives we tell keeps us from achieving goals we set for ourselves. We say, “I can’t,” which is often the first response. What if we changed that narrative to, “I can.” Worth trying?
The thing I need to conquer first and foremost is fear. This four-letter word has kept me from achieving so much in my life. Whatever comes my way is usually DOA because fear steps in and tells me why I am incapable of doing something which might sound rational at the time but it is usually only in my head. The fear factor has kept me safe BUT it has also stopped me from experiencing life at its fullest. I know I need to break out of the well-insulated cocoon I am in and test the waters, or at least to get my feet wet. Not saying you should throw caution to the wind but talking about those small steps to conquer that mountain called life.
“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.” Judy Blume
Overcoming obstacles is next in line. My first reaction to any obstacle is to cringe and than I tend to shy away from it. Perhaps normal behavior in the grand scheme of things but it would be so much easier if I looked at it, whatever it is, in the eye and made a conscious decision to break it down to what it really is. Most times, it is a wrinkle rather than a mountain that I in my innate human self make it out to be. I am learning but it takes time.
“Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them….they are able to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight.” Orison Swett Marden.
Acceptance is hard and most times I go through an almost impossible obstacle course of my own making before I can say, “It’s going to be alright. I have accepted the unchangeable and it is time to move on.” This step never comes easily and it takes time but that again is the intricate ways of life or simply of my own choosing. The important thing is that I am learning to accept and to let go instead of giving up and kow-towing to defeat. I want to get to the top of the mountain with bells ringing and with my sanity intact! I still have a long ways to go but I am making progress.
“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it.” Michael J. Fox
However, there is no point in setting out on a journey when there are no clear cut goals because running around in circles is a waste of time and having the courage to know and accept what is needed to make that journey is the way to go. Start with yourself. Be strong enough to get rid of what is not needed, set your focus and start moving to the end goal. Light up your soul, eradicate the stumbling blocks of which there are many I am sure, move with purpose and look towards the path in front of you, one small step at a time. This is exactly what I plan to do.
“Aim for the sky, but move slowly, enjoying every step along the way, it is all those little steps that make the journey complete.” Unknown
Pathological liars are pros when it comes to lying. It is a way of life for them and these losers are said to have a personality disorder but I think they just enjoy lying and LOVE getting away with it which in turn gives them an adrenaline rush to boot.
Abraham Lincoln said it best:
“No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.”
My ex fits the mode perfectly. He lied so much that he forgot which one was the truth and which one was the lie! It became one and the same to him. He eventually got tired of keeping up with all his lies and decided it was time to threw up his hands and call it quits. Coming back to the topic at hand, there are 6 signs of a pathological liar. Probably more, but we’ll stick to these six for now.
Pathological liars tend to:
Have a lack of empathy.
Focus on basic needs, such as food and money.
Find pleasure and gratification in lying.
Speak in terms of cause-and-effect instead of emotions.
Be cunning and manipulative.
Lie just for the sake of lying. Science=People
How do you cope with a pathological liar?
Don’t expect them to admit to a lie because they will stick to their lies even when it’s obvious that they are not telling the truth.
Don’t take it personally. It is not about you, it is a mental disorder or so they say.
Don’t think just because they look you in the eye, they are telling the truth. Most often they can stand on their heads and try to convince you that they are telling you the truth.
Don’t lose your temper because it’s not about you losing control, it just makes them much better liars. There’s no winning with these guys.
Do trust yourself and your intuition.
Do pay attention to their actions rather than their words because after all actions do speak louder than words.
Do set boundaries as to what you will tolerate and what you won’t in a relationship not that it matters to these individuals. They are well-versed in the art of lying and somehow getting away with a lie does not faze them as it would a normal individual with a conscience. So be prepared for more of the same or walk away.
“It’s not the lie that bothers me. It’s the insult to my intelligence that I find offensive.” Unknown
That’s exactly it. Most pathological liars think that they are experts when it comes to lying so no one is the wiser for it. However, sometimes they come across those of us who can see right through them and that’s when they fall flat on their lying faces and move on to more fertile territory, the women who love being lied to. Unfortunately, there are plenty of those too.
“You know what’s great about compulsive liars? They keep zero promises and then make YOU feel guilty about it when you’re upset.
I need to master this art.” Unknown
Finally, pathological liars are not worth your effort, time and energy. It takes all of this and more to keep them in line not to mention the eventual heartbreak it brings. There are no long-term with these guys just lots of being on the look out all the time. It is definitely NO fun and definitely not how I want to spend the rest of my life and neither do you, so keep your eyes and ears wide open and remember if it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it is probably a LIE!
“How much happier would life be if a liar’s pants really did catch on fire!” Unknown
AND
“Secrets and lies kill relationships. No matter how careful you are, you will get caught. What’s done in darkness always comes to light.” Unknown
Yesterday was a blur! The test went fine but spending almost 5 hours at the hospital and having this radioactive stuff shot into me and then doing three rounds with the machine to find out if there was anything wrong took the wind out of my sails!
I think it wasn’t just yesterday that brought about the exhaustion, it was the week leading up to it. Emotions were running wild and not knowing made it all the more nerve-racking. I had all kinds of “what if” scenarios running through my head and none of them good.
I crashed last night at around 8 and didn’t get up till 5 this morning. Still feeling tired but more than that, it is the radioactive stuff coursing through my veins that is causing problems, just psychological ones. I googled on how to get rid of it and was told, drink plenty of water to flush it out of your system. It takes about 24 to 48 hours before it is out and gone for good. I hope! The other thing is to keep away from pregnant women and small children. No problems there but Chachi was not too happy last night. I tried not to hug him, kiss him or to cuddle with him and the little bugger didn’t understand it at all.
This morning, I stripped the bedcovers and threw them in the wash. Then I took a shower and used scrub to get whatever is oozing out of my pores a run for the money! After that, I took a walk in nature. There was nothing going on there. The trees were a bright green with no show of changing anytime soon. Fall is taking its time getting here but it will be here sooner than later. However, I realized that nothing much had changed since I set foot on the fields which was about three days ago.
Here’s the thing. Life moves on, nature does the same and what you’ve got going on is your business alone. I recall when I was grieving for the friend I lost, nature and life went on and didn’t stand still not even for a moment. The burden was mine to carry alone and how I dealt with things even more so. I think the message is, YOU have to deal with whatever comes your way. It is all up to you and with that in mind, I feel like I’ve been given a new lease on life and I better put it to good use. I plan to.
The sun is just coming up and it is casting shadows and light as it weaves its way through the fields. A beautiful sight to see and I know that today is going to be a beautiful day.
Living in Europe, I have learned that Sundays are not only a day of rest but that everything comes to a standstill! No shops, no markets, and no malls. You have to make do with is left standing. Bakeries, not all of them, might open for a couple of hours and that’s about it.
Flea markets are a godsent on Sundays if you’re looking for something to do. The one close to my place is a monthly event in summer. It is a big one and it is usually crowded. I’ve missed the last two but decided to make a showing for this one. Waking up early for a Sunday, thanks to Chachi, I made my way to the flea market. The sun was shining and the car park was already full. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, perhaps something for the garden. People were browsing and the vendors were loud as they let it be known that it would be worth your while to visit their stand. I walked taking it all in.
No plants worth buying. Loads of STUFF but nothing interesting. I passed a food vendor selling Greek tidbits. Olives in every color imaginable, dips, shrimps in three different sauces, squid salad and of course, bread. I told him I’ll be back later and had every intention of doing so. I did another round hoping something would catch my attention but there was nothing. I remember going there once with a friend and he said, “All junk!” True, but if you have a good eye, you might just pick up a treasure. I bought a small dish once, blue and white, and it turned out to be an antique. It has a place of honor on the sideboard and looks great!
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”
True at times but this time around, it was more trash than anything else. I went back to the Greek vendor and picked up a small container of shrimp in garlic sauce, a spicy dip and some squid salad. The man kept speaking in English so I wondered what gave it away! Plus he kept handing me small samples to try, nice but I was filling up on them!
Back home, I walked in with Chachi, the cat, standing behind the door.
“Where have you been?!!”
ME: “Nowhere special. It’s mommy and Chachi time now!”
HIM: “It sure is!”
The time at the flea market was worth it because I’m feeling good and that is a good thing.
“When confronted with a challenge, the committed heart will search for a solution. The undecided heart searches for an escape.” Andy Andrews
Commitment is a must if you want to succeed in getting something done, accomplish goals or simply in moving forward. However, commitment is often met with excuses and the easy route is to make an excuse for why you are not capable of doing something and to leave whatever it is that needed done just dangling in mid-air, an unfinished task so to speak. It is often accompanied by “If only I had….” at a later point in time.
“Commitment is defined as the state of quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.”
It takes work, a certain tunnel-vision to stay on the straight and narrow and to see it through. At times, it is boring and it takes tremendous effort. Excuses, on the other hand, are easy to come by.
Looking for a job is hard work because it will take effort, focus and an unwavering mentality. I really don’t want to leave my comfort zone and be out there looking is not going to cut it. I would rather be watching something on TV or playing computer games is not how you are going to be able to pay your bills. It may be fun but not in the long run. However, this excuse comes with a big price tag attached to it at a later point in time.
“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Unknown
How about making excuses in a relationship? Instead of building a relationship most excuse-mongers have one foot in a relationship and out chasing rainbows looking for that pot of gold with the other. Problem is they wind up losing what they had in the first place. Their excuse is, “I’m not sure.” That is one stupid excuse because keeping several fires burning is not the answer. Dedication is. Build instead of tearing it down.
“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.” Unknown
There there are all kinds of other excuses. One for every topic it seems and those excuses are the ones which keep you from achieving the goals. The all important goal of moving on in life, of making something out of life, of being with that one special someone and so on and so forth. Excuses are a dime a dozen and the path to hell is lined with them! Commitment takes courage, fortitude, a certain mindset and it is success oriented.
“Commitment is an act, not a word.” Unknown
It is what transforms a dream into a reality and it takes more than just dreaming about it. Learn what it takes to make it a reality and go after it. Never giving up is a key element and showing “excuses” the door is another sure way of getting to where you want to be. You can stay awhile in “excuses-land” but only long enough to wet your feet and then move with dedication to the end goal. If you want success, dedication and commitment is the way to go.
“There’s always a way if you’re committed.” Unknown
Just another morning in the grand scheme of things but it was a little different. Getting up early as usual, I found Chachi’s face almost plastered next to mine! The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes were his big expressive eyes staring back at me. Nothing new there. Just the norm in our world of being hooked on each other.
The thing that was different was how dark it looked outside compared to yesterday. The sun was a no show and everything was shrouded in a veil of darkness. A change of season approaching quietly but surely? Chachi walked up to the big window in the kitchen and let out a loud meow and went, “My TV is not working Mommy!” Oh well, he needs to be patient and it will fix itself.
My daily walk in the fields a short while later was more of the same. It was a little lighter but the sun was sure taking its time this morning. I walked knowing my path well, I could have done it with my eyes closed! A lone deer emerged from the forest line and stood there for a while before taking off to where it was familiar just as I was doing. The sky was a pearl grey and streaks of pink were starting to appear at the mountain tops. It is supposed to be cooler today but it will be sunny and warm.
My eyes scanned the horizon as I walked, my feet heavy as I trudged along the rock strewn path. No one and nothing was moving BUT there was much happening beneath my feet that my naked eyes could not see. The changing of the guard was taking place and the preparation was well under way or wherever “nature” holds its meeting to get things moving.
Turning back I noticed six bales of hay stacked on top of each other and just in front of them three deer grazing. A beautiful sight to behold. Soon, there will be more signs of another season approaching and it will be done like clockwork. A miracle? Absolutely.
“To walk in nature is to witness a thousand miracles.” Mary Davis
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