mindset – Page 5 – Site Title

A Gorgeous Day!

Is it here? It shows promise and that is a good thing. The sky is cloudless, a clear blue in color, and the sun is out and smiling! The daffodils are getting ready to go on display and the birds are trilling like there is no tomorrow! Spring is definitely marching in but it is early yet so we might still get some cold weather holding on for dear life.

The fields are fantastic today. No clouds to mar their beauty and everything is touched with a little bit of gold from the sunshine. The slight hum of an airplane overhead didn’t do much to disturb the peace and the crows had gathered like they were getting ready for a funeral! The herons are still missing but the deer were out in full force grazing nonchalantly as I walked past. The mountains in the distance were visible and were happy to be seen.

I took the forest route. My usual route is to keep to open spaces but today I decided to let the birds keep me company as they rustled in the trees and let their spring song be heard, loud and clear. The butterflies are not there yet. It is officially spring here, early spring, and waking up from the deep slumber of winter takes some time. It is deceptively warm too but in the shade, it is nippy and a tad cold. I was alone again as I am most days as I take my daily walks but I love it this way. The woods seem to be quiet and the stream running through is gurgling happily. Soon, the daffodils will bloom on either side and it will be a show-stopping event. They will be gorgeous waving their yellow and white heads, doing their spring dance.

It is beautiful and it will only get better. The “blooming” will take place and it will show what nature has been working on during the winter months. Nope, it was not sleeping. A brief nap, maybe, but there was plenty going on beneath the ground as it will soon reveal. Nature has its rhythm and the change of seasons take place as it should with no lapses in between. All we have to do is to stop and marvel at its beauty as each season takes its rightful place leaving us in awe.

Spring is finally here and I for one can’t wait to see its full display!

LOL!

I thought this was funny and wanted to share. Some truth to it as well?

Scottish blood…

An Arab Sheikh was admitted to the hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose. As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn’t be found locally, the call went out around the world.

Finally, a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type. After some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a BMW, a diamond necklace for his wife, and $100,000 US dollars in appreciation for the blood donation.

A few months later, the Arab had to undergo a further corrective surgery procedure. Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman, who was more than happy to donate his blood.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him:

“I thought you would be more generous than that. Last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates?”

To this, the Arab replied: ” Aye, laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins.”

The Whispers of Heartbreak

We’ve all experienced heartbreak at some point in our lives and sometimes it happens more than once which is the norm and at other times, if you’re lucky, it goes easy on you.

The human to human interactions opens us to heartbreak. It puts us out there to accept, to experience and eventually to find peace, love, or heartbreak. There is another kind of heartbreak that is not often seen or heard but it has the potential to tear your heart apart just the same. It is the interaction between man and animal. The kind that is often overlooked and sniffed at as nothing more than an imaginary thing that takes place in your head. A friend told me recently that, “Animals are not people.” Some may say that it is the absolute truth but to those of us who think differently that was shocking to say the least. I found it to be a disregard for life, whether it is for the animal variety or otherwise.

Those of us who have pets know how they can grow and attach themselves to the very core of your being. Sometimes they evolve and take the place of humans so much so that there is no difference between the two. They are “humans” and will remain so. Losing one or the other brings about intolerable pain and it doesn’t matter if we are talking about an animal, the pain is the same.

I got a first hand glimpse of this phenomenon yesterday. I’ve written about my son leaving to start a new job. It means moving away to another city and place to get this process going. The apartment he has right now does not allow pets. The excruciating decision was made to leave them behind for the time being, perhaps for the duration of the trial period which is six months. The cats, Shiro and Gallahad, have been part and parcel of his life for as long as I can remember. They got him through his studies. When things got tough they were there to ease the pain and to move him forwards and onwards. They were his buddies, his kids, and his all around mentors, if you can call them that. To put it succinctly, they were inseparable.

This parting of ways is taking a toll on him and on them. He has been quiet for the most part and I watched as he hugged them close, turned and walked away with tears in his eyes. It took courage and tremendous strength.

The cats have been missing him. Shiro, his little princess, has been quiet, too quiet and keeping to herself. She is usually noisy because she loves to meow and she does it with relish! Not a peep from her for the last couple of days. There is a look of sadness about her. Gallahad, on the other hand, has brushed it aside and is taking the separation in stride. He is happy with the food, the soft strokes on his head and the stolen window seat by the kitchen which he has claimed as his own. Chachi is NOT happy but that is another story.

Last night, my son called and we talked about the new apartment. He was not too happy with it. I think it was missing two key elements. We talked about the surroundings, the people and the distance to his work place. However, he kept coming back to the two that were consuming his every thought. I assured him they were fine but he asked, “Can I talk to her?” He wanted the phone held to Shiro’s ear so that he could say some things to her. I did just that. I listened as he spoke to her. A father missing his child. He told her that he missed her terribly, he wished she was with him and he would try his best to get an apartment where they can all be together again. I listened with tears in my eyes. Shiro, on the other hand, sat up, her eyes opened wide at the sound of his voice and meowed a soft meow as if she understood. The next part was heartbreaking. There was absolute quiet on the other side. I thought we got cut off so I asked, “Are you still there?”

Silence. I asked again and then he came back on. “I miss them so badly. I wish they were with me.” He was in tears. I knew then that there was no difference. A heartbreak is a heartbreak. It tears at you, it robs you of sleep, it consumes you with pain AND it reminds you that the heart is a fragile thing. It breaks when you face loss, rejection, and giving up what is dear to you as in this case even if it is just for a little while.

The whispers of heartbreak rumble through us, make headway reminding us that we are fragile where it is concerned and human or animal, the difference is the importance you place on it AND sometimes, it is one and the same.

This Moment in Time

If you think about it, this moment in time is all we have. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is looming somewhere in the distance but today, more specifically, this very moment is where we exist.

“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.” Bill Waterson

Are you in a safe place? Are you protected? Are you at peace? These are things which matter.

I overthink and it is mostly about the past and then I jump to the future. It is an erratic pattern of thoughts and I am well aware of what I’m doing but still I persist. Last night, I decided to reel in all my jumbled up thoughts because they were causing another sleepless night and then started looking at each one individually and realized that I was dabbling in things I cannot change. The past is done with and the future is unknown. I looked at the moment I was in and realized I was safe, I was warm and I had a roof over my head. I had Chachi, the cat, cuddled up next to me and the world, for the here and now, was a peaceful place. I stayed there for awhile and like a lullaby, it rocked me to sleep.

The moments count. They define our psyche and being in several places in one time does not help matters much. Having one foot in the past and one in the future is not going to do it. Stay in the here and now. What are you doing now? It matters. Trying to put the past, the future and everything else in one basket is a sure fire way to disaster. Sort it out. Make peace with the past, learn the lessons you need to learn and then close the door behind you. The future will be determined by what you do today. Give it loving care, your attention, and maybe, just maybe a brighter tomorrow is around the corner. We can only hope.

Why is being in the present moment so important?

According to powerfullyyou.org, “it can decrease the activities of your nervous system, reduce stress, and help you to feel more regulated.” Tony Robbins says, “it allows you to focus all of your energy on the task at hand.” He further adds, “where focus goes, energy flows.”

Easier said than done? I agree. My mind loves jumping around. It’s like a “monkey” which loves to climb, run, twist and do whatever is necessary to keep me from the task at hand and it often succeeds. It is going to take lots of practice before the “monkey” learns to behave! There is still hope.

Have an amazing day.

Day 3

Time sure does fly. It is day three since my son came by, brought his cats here, talked for a while and off he went to start his new life.

DAY 1:

It was chaotic. I had three cats here and I felt like my world was being turned on its head! Shiro, the Persian cat, and Gallahad, the British long-haired cat were not too sure about what had just happened. Dad, (my son) was gone and they were with this lady they recognized but not quite. I hadn’t seen them in a long time and we were practically strangers. They watched me cautiously and no amount of talking to them seemed to make them look at me differently.

SHIRO: “She thinks she is the cat whisperer. What is the gibberish coming out of her mouth? Where is daddy?!!”

GALLI: “I think she’s nice. I remember her from long ago but that Little Macho over there thinks he can take us both down! I’ve got news for him.”

CHACHI: “Don’t TOUCH my things! Look at my teeth, they mean business!”

ME: “Lord, have mercy! Where and how do I start?”

I made sure their room upstairs was made to order. It looks like cat paradise up here. I even put blankets on the bed in case they got cold. Everything was spotless and the toilet was CLEAN and smelling like flowers.

SHIRO: ” This is what I’m talking about! Dad, I love him but the toilet was never this clean. I’m going to enjoy this!”

GALLI: “Who cares? A toilet is a toilet and anyway I never pay too much attention as to what I leave behind.”

Exactly the problem! Galli thinks that doing the big stuff is one thing and covering it up with litter is another!

DAY 2:

All was quiet. The two survived the night with no problems. I kept Chachi in the bedroom since I didn’t trust them playing together. Chachi had and has an attitude. He’s all about his things. Don’t touch this and don’t touch that! If you so much as look at me cross-eyed, you’re looking at trouble!

Chachi also decided that he hates me! I’ve brought some strangers in to take his place. Every time I picked him up, he hissed to show his displeasure. Instead of purring when I put him next to me at bed time, he was as quiet as a mouse. The message was clear. Get THEM out of here!

Galli decided that he was going to give the cat whisperer a chance. He purred every time I came close and even let me stroke him. He also started rubbing up against my leg. He is all about the food, as long as his stomach is over full, he’s a happy camper. There was hope yet. Shiro wouldn’t have anything to do with me, cat whisperer or not. Her whole stance was, “WHERE IS DADDY? Get me out of this place!”

DAY 3:

So far, so good. The cats have settled down, they are eating and drinking and letting me pat them on the head. Chachi is still in his pissed off mood. He keeps shooting evil eyes in my direction and hissing at them every chance he gets. My son has been constantly texting asking for pics and sending messages, “I miss them.” I’ve been working tenaciously to keep them all happy.

Now, I AM POOPED!

Will it get better? I can only hope but running behind the three of them is going to take coordination and some planning. I know it is a challenge and it will be a challenge. First thing, I need to work on getting Chachi on my side. So, I’ve been whispering, “You know you are my little love, don’t you? No one can take your place.”

CHACHI: “Stop your cat whispering with me. I know you better and you need to beg, maybe it will work but for now, no way in hell!

Let’s see what the days going forward will bring.

Fingers and toes crossed.

Mandy Hale

New York Times best-selling author, speaker, and creator, Mandy Hale inspires women with her writing and I find her quotes to be exceptionally uplifting. If you’re feeling down, turn to them and they are bound to give you a boost in the right direction.

Here are some of her best quotes:

“You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Shine on, and dare anyone to turn off your lights.”

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

“If they want to be in your life, they’ll find a way to be in your life. Otherwise, they’ll find excuses.”

That’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

“There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.”

A smile, a kind word, or a soothing touch is all it takes to do just that.

“The most beautiful day is the day you decide you’re good enough for you. It’s the day you set yourself free.”

A good one but putting it into practice is the hard part.

“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”

Women tend to do that but I think we are learning that our existence or rather our validation does not depend on a man. I hope so!

“To make a difference in someone’s life, you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect. You just have to care.”

Perfectly said!

“No matter how much you stress or obsess about the past or future, you can’t change either one. In the present is where your power lies.”

This one knocked some sense into me. I love stressing and obsessing so a definite reminder to pay attention and to do different.

Too easy to get = just as easy to forget.

Absolutely and one to pay attention to.

Finally, I LOVE THIS ONE!

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity and leap before you look. Dance as though everybody is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”

Have an amazing day.

Farewell My Son

Tomorrow is the day that I’ve been dreading for a week now. I thought it would take its time getting here but we’ve got a day to go before you take off to start your new life.

I’ve been walking around like a zombie doing things I need to get done to prepare for tomorrow. Your cats will be here and there is much to prepare to make sure that their needs will be met. I think I’ve got it down pat now, the “needs” bit but not how it will be with three cats running around. I am a little nervous.

Then your dad called earlier today and that brought it all home. You are leaving and there is no turning back. It is onwards and forwards. I’ve been brave or rather trying to be brave and I succeeded until dad said, “I’m at his place. We are loading the stuff into the car.” It hit home and the move is taking place.

What can I say that I haven’t said already? Sometimes, I wish I can turn back time. I want to go back to when you were a five-year-old and you needed me. I was there to take care of all your needs and to keep you safe. I want to go back to when we played that game, the one where you asked, “How much do you love me?” My answer, “To the moon and back and again to the moon and back!” That always brought a giggle and a chuckle from you. Those days are gone but they live on in memories.

The reality is that a lot of things have changed and they are changing. Tomorrow, I will hug you tight, kiss you on the cheek, make sure you have everything you need, knowing full well that I’ve forgotten something in my rush to make sure you have everything you need. I will try not to break into tears as I stand there and watch you walk out the door. All of that will come later as I retreat indoors and try to deal with this situation as well.

I think mothers and fathers are different. Your dad seems to be fine but I’m sure he heard the “break” in my voice as I asked, “Is he alright?” Let me tell you something so you know without a shadow of a doubt where you stand with me. I want you to know that I love you. You are very important to me and no matter what, I will always try to be there for you. Life is taking you away and I hope to a better future. I also hope that it will be kind to you and the new people you meet will care about you as you form your new circle of friends. Most of all, I hope you stay safe.

I want to tell you not to do these things. Don’t do your long walks with your headphones on so that you are not aware of your surroundings. Be careful because you will be in a big city and there is much you have to learn and look out for. I KNOW that you think you know everything and I should let you live your life BUT I still see you as that little boy who I nurtured and walked with holding that tiny hand in mine. I guess I will always have that picture in my mind.

I know that you are a young adult now and I should treat you as such. It is hard but I will try. You, my son, are fully capable of achieving anything you set your mind to. You are strong, you are intelligent, you are goal-oriented and like your mother, a very strong person.

This will be another challenge for me. Another one that will require my strength and my belief that all will be well. It’s not to say that I won’t freak out from time to time wondering if you are fine. I’m going to say this and leave it at that. I trust and believe you will be fine and you will make your way as I did a long time ago.

I WILL MISS YOU.

The Guy?!!

Got your attention? I think those of you who read my articles regularly know that I’ve been looking for the needle in the haystack and it hasn’t been easy being out there. Where? Out in the dating world.

I’ve come across many who claim to be Prince Charming but in actuality are frogs in disguise. I know, I know, you just have to kiss them and they might turn into the man of your dreams. So far, no luck. They’ve remained frogs! Around the middle of last year, I came to a screeching halt and decided to pull the plug on dating. However, at the beginning of this year, I decided to give it another try.

Out of the eight who showed up wearing hopeful smiles, I narrowed it down to two. One was a Biochemical Engineer, nice enough guy in the beginning but a total full of himself j**k. Maybe, it was me but never mind. After two dates, I decided to call it off. I tried to be nice, which is my problem, but he hung up on me showing his true self. The last man standing was just a simple guy who grew up in these parts, the farmers are his best friends, doesn’t speak any English but has decided that he has only eyes for me. Nice guy? Hold on.

On our first date, he was very attentive and as he walked me to the door, he stole the kiss. It was totally unexpected. I pushed him away before he took it further and later when he called he asked, “Did I shock you?” My answer, “Yes, you did.”

Anyway, I decided to pull the stick out of my you know what and to give him another chance. Nice guys don’t come around too often, that was my reasoning. Second date went just fine. We had lunch and went for a walk. It was nice and it was my kind of date. Third date was supposed to be a breakfast date and he decided to take another huge leap.

HIM: “My sister wants to join us.”

ME: “Why?!!”

HIM: “She wants to meet you.”

ME: “Why?!!”

HIM: “Because she asked.”

Oh God. Things were moving like a train on a collision course! Then he began using the “we” word whenever he talked about us. If that wasn’t enough to give you chills running down your spine, he started sending early morning messages, like at 5 in the mornings! Then he started hammering the nail in the coffin as quickly as he could by calling me, “Mein Schatz.” In German, my darling or my treasure, whatever the case may be, you get the picture. My signals were all going off and you know I have plenty of them where men are concerned. Anyway, still I persevered. I met the sister and we hit it off. He told me that she thought I was five or ten times better than his other girlfriends. So, he went, “Welcome to the family.” Lord, have mercy!

I also found out that he smokes which is an absolute no-go for an hypocondraic and a health nut like me. I did tell him that but he promised that he wouldn’t do it in front of me. However, I Googled, my steady companion who never fails to come up with answers said this,

“It doesn’t matter. Third-hand smoke is a killer too. Smokers have toxins coming out of every pore and some of it will wear off on you causing heart problems and a stroke at times.

Lord, help me! I like the guy. He is caring albeit a little touchy feely. He thinks he has found the right person for him after three dates and I think he has “forever” showing in his eyes. Me? Not so much. He stole a kiss and he has hugged me and held my hands. That is about it although he keeps talking about spending the weekend together. Knowing me, that would be a big, big, hurdle to cross. Plus those “toxins” are not helping matters much.

Another one bites the dust? Maybe, I don’t know yet. Still thinking on that one. Thinking is my problem too, I overthink things. I told a friend yesterday that at this rate, I will go to my grave as a single woman. He was nice and said, “I think you are very nice and there is nothing wrong with you.” So, why do I wind up in these situations? A more pertinent question is, “Where is my Prince Charming? The one who will be an almost perfect fit. Where is he?!!”

The universe in its wisdom is saying, “All in good time, my child. He’ll show up when you least expect it and I’m working on it but you are not making it easy!”

Back to walks in nature, I suppose.

It Was Smooth Sailing!

I did the test drive and came off looking like a winner. It was nerve-racking when I got there and the guy at the dealership asked, “Ready to do the test drive?” with a big smile on his face. I stuttered, “I think so.” He laughed and said, “I’ll be right next to you so nothing will go wrong.”

The car wasn’t exactly like the one I’m looking at. The guy reassured me that it will be ok. I CAN drive this one too. It had a few new-fangled things but I decided to ignore them and hoped they would ignore me too! I took my seat, adjusted the mirrors like a pro, fastened the seatbelt and started the engine! So far, so good. I had to make the car move which meant taking my foot off the brake pedal and that took some time coming. Finally, we moved out of the parking area, into the short street leading to the main road and I told myself, “Calm down!” I waited till I could merge and took off.

Surprisingly the car was very quiet. He said it was on the electric mode and that little symbol on the dash shows you that. Where?!! He went on to explain that it does it automatically so nothing to worry about. It had some nice features, it showed the temperature outside, it showed the speed limit I should be doing and did a tiny beep or two when I exceeded what I was supposed to be doing. It was compact, it handled well, and I liked how it felt! I was so comfortable that we talked the whole way during the drive. He also mentioned that I was driving the car like I had been driving it for a long time and not just today. Wow! Sales pitch? I don’t know but I liked driving the car. Doing the reverse was a breeze and this thing had cameras everywhere!

We pulled back into the park place at the dealership and I was almost ready to say, “I’ll take it!” Knowing me, I took the cautious route. We went back into his office and he offered me more than I expected for my current car. Hmm….I couldn’t believe it but still I couldn’t make the “horse drink from the water.” So, I asked a few more questions. He told me the guarantee was for 5 years and I could pay to have it for 10 years. Then he went on to say, “What could go wrong? You have a new car.”

ME: “A lot could go wrong according to what Google told me and the well-meaning friends who have been helping me.”

However, I kept my mouth shut. Am I taking it? I asked for a day or two to make up my mind. He agreed and said, “I will hear from you on Wednesday?”

ME: “Yes, I think you will.”

As I left his office, I was glad to be out of there. It felt like I had accomplished something. Basically, the test-drive that had been taunting me all weekend, I achieved it without batting an eye and I gave myself a pat on the back for that. Have I made up my mind? What do you think?!!

I’ve roped someone else to go look at some other cars tomorrow. Why? Just because it is a lot of money and I want to be absolutely sure I’m making the right decision. Just like the guys I date you say?

Exactly.

Release the Chase

The word “chase” encapsules the thrill of the pursuit and it evokes feelings of urgency because chasing either your dreams, a special person, or your success story requires this single-minded focus and sometimes everything else goes out of focus and the chase is what you’re about. You feel the adrenaline rush and it takes you to new highs, not always a good thing but who cares because in that moment, you are alive and that is all that matters.

We know this well, don’t we? We’ve done it all the way through childhood to where we’re at now. In the earlier years, the chase was about doing better in school, exceling at sports, or being the popular person at school. In your teens, the social world opened up and the chase was about accomplishments, attracting a boy or girl, and fitting in. Adulthood brought about new things to chase. Love, success, wanting to make it so that you can climb the rungs of success. It was expected and you conformed and sometimes you enjoyed the chase and sometimes you didn’t but it was part of your life.

Along the way we learned that chasing was necessary if we wanted something bad enough. We also learned that sometimes the chasing wasn’t just about the good things. There were moments when we chased situations that were not good for us. It didn’t matter because we wanted what we wanted and even if the outcome was going to be bad, we put on blinders and did the dance of chasing. Along the way, we became experts at all kinds of chasing and sometimes to our own detriment. The truth of the matter is that we have been in various forms of chase throughout our lives.

Life becomes more exciting when you are in the chase mode or rather you have something to live for. Sometimes it keeps us on the edge and at other times we can do without the blood-pumping adrenaline rush but giving it up is a hard thing to do. Have you ever chased the wrong person in a relationship knowing full well that you should let it die a slow death or even a fast one? How many times did you chase just because you didn’t want to give up what was bad for you? Your heart wanted what it wanted and you went along for the ride. We are pros when it comes to seeking out what we desire passionately.

This unassuming word was referred to as “chacier” in Old French and in Latin “captare” meaning to seize. According to one source, “when we chase something — be it success, happiness, or even closure — we’re not merely pursuing; we’re reaching out for possession over our own narratives.”

Those stories that we tell ourselves can sometimes be our worst enemies. So, the next time you decide to “chase” or to do the chasing, think carefully. Do you really want it? Is it good for you? Or is it better off left alone?

Life Got Quieter in a Good Way

When I switched from expect to accept, my life got quieter — in the best way. Fewer arguments, fewer overreactions, fewer battles at 2 a.m. I don’t chase responses, don’t pressure outcomes, don’t demand constant reassurance. I accept what is real, release what is draining, and let peace take up the space where chaos used to live.” MORNING SMILE

If that isn’t enough to let go and release the chase, here is something that might help you do just that if you believe in the universe that is.

“Be so deep in alignment with your intention that your dream starts to chase you.” The Universe

Have an amazing day and instead of chasing, sit back and let it come and get you!