mindset – Page 5 – Site Title

Compliments

It has been said that, “compliments are a dime a dozen.” It just means that, “flattery or positive remarks are very common, easily obtained, and therefore hold little special value or sincerity. It also implies that “such praise is unremarkable, abundant, and often dismissable because it is not unique or deeply earned.”

However, some compliments have the power to lift you up, make you feel worthy, and at times more than enough. They are also, “powerful, uplifting words that validate and encourage, often serving as small, heartfelt gifts of kindness.”

My day started out on a rushed note. I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off and I didn’t see it slowing down either! Yesterday, had been a stressful day as well. My ex showed up as he sometimes does. However, this time around he had a big attitude on his shoulders and looking to discard it on someone as quickly as possible. I came into view and was fair game, I suppose. Our meeting didn’t go well and he left after a short time leaving me to feel like I was not enough and somehow sorely lacking. In what? I don’t know, he just makes me feel that way. Needless to say, I was feeling down and I knew it was going to take an uphill battle to get myself back up there again.

Anyway, I woke up to chaos this morning. The three rascals were up early. Moe, Larry and Curly! Just kidding. They were begging for attention and I was ready to escape the mayhem! So, I took off after breakfast to have some time to myself. The sun was shining and it was going to be a beautiful day. I got my shopping done and decided to stop for coffee at my favorite cafe. A great cup of Italian coffee and a bread roll was just the thing to pep things up. Things were starting to look up. Then I headed to the bakery and got two pieces of cheesecake. Yes, THINGS were definitely up and up! It was going to be my treat for later with a nice cup of coffee. The fish store across the street beckoned and I headed there next. They know me well because I’m one of their best customers. I love fish and they have a fresh supply everyday.

The boss wasn’t there but his assistant was. He asked how I was doing and I answered in the affirmative. Just as I was getting ready to pay he said,

“You have beautiful eyes!”

I was not expecting that. I had a bad night so my eyes were definitely reflecting that I thought. Probably, bloodshot as well! He saw the surprise on my face and repeated,

“You do have lovely eyes. They shine!”

Okay guys, those days of “sparkling eyes” are over I thought so this compliment definitely took me by surprise but it landed where it should! My day was definitely starting to look up and in a very nice way, I might add.

I paid, thanked him and left with a smile on my face.

“Sometimes just one little compliment can make someone’s entire day.”

I took my usual walk when I came back home and the sunshine felt just a tad different. It touched my face like a warm caress and the feelings of not being enough the evening before had all but vanished. There are many kinds of compliments, flippant ones with not much thought put into them, ones that put a smile on your face, compliments that make your day and that guy didn’t know it but he had just helped to bring me back up!

“Build someone up. Put their insecurities to sleep. Remind them they’re worthy. Tell them they’re magical. Be light in a too often dim world.” Unknown

If you have a chance today, give out some compliments. You never know how it is going to land and just maybe, it has the power to lighten someone else’s load. A phrase meant to praise can sometimes be a powerful tool. I have to keep that in mind as well.

“YOU are amazing and strong and brave and wonderful-remember THAT today.”

Have an amazing day.

Let It Be

Let It Be. How many times have we heard this phrase? I don’t know about you but I’ve heard it often enough mostly from well-meaning friends, people who care and those who want better for me.

Did it sink in? NOT when I was in the midst of what I call my “end of the world” meltdowns. During these times, “let it be” was the last thing on my mind. However, when you look at these three words, it does hold power behind its seemingly gentle facade. The strength lies in its ability to slow things down, to step back and to take a good hard look at the situation and to say, there is nothing left for me to do so breathe and LET IT BE. Three unassuming words but a powerhouse when it comes to comfort, acceptance and a message of hope.

I want revenge! I want my old friend “karma” to step in and do what I can’t do! I want payback! Unfortunately, revenge is a dangerous option and karma, well it takes its time and that is the problem. Payback? It doesn’t happen automatically. So what do you do while you wait for whatever it is that you’re waiting for to take place? Breathe quietly and LET IT BE.

There is comfort in knowing that you don’t have to do anything. Wipe away the tears, tone down the rhetoric and just LET IT BE.

Acceptance, well this is much more difficult. Accepting means you are ready to let go of an event or situation that has caused so much turmoil. How do you calm this beast down? Breathe deeply and LET IT BE.

Hope is a four letter word that holds power within its unassuming persona. When you zoom into this optimistic state of mind, all things are possible is the message. Armed with comfort, acceptance and hope, I’m going to breathe and LET IT BE, if only for today. Tomorrow is another story!

Today’s mantra will be?

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

The Beatles

Your Reaction Matters

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“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” Epictetus

This basically means that while, “life brings uncontrollable events, your response is a choice.” How often do we react without thinking when something of the unsavory nature happens to us? The reaction that often follows is anger, sadness, depression, unworthiness and a whole host of other emotions. More than that, we carry those feelings on our backs or in our hearts and each one adds to the heavy burden until that load becomes too heavy to carry and to bear.

“The first reaction is surely the most natural one, but not always the most correct one.” Criss Jami

Depending on what was dished out by someone else, your reaction follows a natural path. Was it an insult? Did it bring you down? Was it something that cut you down to size? How about someone’s envy and jealousy? Yes, sometimes those two go together and they can be a powerful deterrent to your mindset and have the ability to make you question yourself. Your reaction to all or some of the above may seem like a normal response but there is a heavy price to pay for those reactions. Just react like “water off a duck’s back,” you say. Not everyone can do that. There are those who take some of those nasty and often hurtful things to heart and it stays and cuts them down to size.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” Wayne Dyer

This particular quote opened up a door that I had kept closed. I, like many of you, chose to react a certain way when I was faced with events of an unsavoury nature. I would spend a lot of time mulling over the event, wondering why it happened, did I contribute to it, and it just went from bad to worse from there until I was so deep in the rabbit hole that there was no coming up for air!

“NOT EVERY ACTION DESERVES A REACTION.”

That right there is what I had to learn to make things easier, to let go of things that don’t matter and to carry on with a lighter load. The next time someone says something mean or tries to cut you down to size, DO NOT REACT. Easier said than done, I know. Try not to pick up whatever they are throwing your way for whatever reason, that reason is not yours to bear. Go forth knowing that your reaction matters, and your mindset matters too. The less you choose to take on and allow to accompany you on this journey of life, the better.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” Charles R. Swindoll

AND

“Failure happens all the time. It happens every day in practice. What makes you better is how you react to it.” Mia Hamm

The next time you want to jump on that bandwagon of reacting because it is the normal thing to do, take a deep breath, step back, think carefully, drop that stone to the ground and move on leaving it where it belongs. It doesn’t belong with you, let whoever sent it your way have it back. Watch as the power is taken away from them and you walk away the winner.

Have an amazing day.

Chachi’s Battle

Photo by Kutay Orkun Durukan on Pexels.com

The little guy didn’t know what hit him but life as he knew it is gone and he has to put up with two intruders! He hadn’t see them in a long time so they are strangers again. Mommy is acting strange and is trying to butter them up and THAT is not settling too well with the Little Macho. It was talk time. Lord, have mercy!

Chachi: “Mom, why are they here? I don’t like them touching my stuff and using my toilet!”

Me: “You have to be nicer to them. They are missing their daddy.”

Daddy is my son who has moved away because of a new job and he has an apartment that doesn’t allow cats. It will take some time to rectify that situation so in the mean time, I am stuck with them. Chachi, the brat, just has to cool it and learn to share. There are three litter boxes in the house but for some reason, the two love using his!

Chachi: “I don’t think they were brought up too well. The big guy, Galli, hasn’t learned how to use the toilet yet and that little white one, Shiro, thinks toilets are beauty salons! She loves sticking her nose in them!”

Me: “I think she likes clean toilets. I noticed she was in the bathroom after my shower and was sniffing the air like it was something wonderful. Just part of being a girl. You should try to be friends with her.”

Chachi: “Grr! No way that is going to happen. I DON’T LIKE HER! I can tolerate Galli but I want you to stop kissing his forehead!”

Me: “Can you help me just a little? What’s with the hissing? You sure do act big for your size.”

Chachi: “Mom! I can take them both with one go!

Me: “Okay, no fighting. No hissing. No growling, and no “I’m the big man crap!” If you are nicer to them, you get extra kisses tonight and you get to cuddle with Mommy.”

Chachi: “Well, I get that anyway. Okay, I will try but you have to stop kissing them!”

ME: “Deal!”

I’ll sneak in those kisses when he’s not looking! They need loving too.

This morning there was a definite turnaround. The Little Brat has been out there for about an hour now. When I walked up the stairs to check on him, he was on the floor with Galli and they were trying to figure out how to make the ball move in the cat toy. Shiro walked past with a flippant glance at him and he didn’t hiss!

I’m hoping that the “white flag” will survive the day and they become friends.

Just another day in Casa Del Gato!

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

I saw this joke and thought it was absolutely hilarious. Enjoy.

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I’m too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, “Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day, sir,” replied the trooper.

🤣🤣🤣

I Almost Settled!

I almost did the unthinkable but I came to my senses before that happened! Settling was something I never wanted to do and never settling means “to continuously strive for excellence, refusing to accept mediocrity, complacency, or anything less than your highest standards.”

In a relationship, never settling for less than you deserve means “refusing to accept less than your core standards, values, and emotional needs, ensuring you are not simply staying out of fear of being alone” or walking into one for that very same reason.

“You, my dear, were never meant to settle.” Erin Plewes

Coming back to the topic at hand, I almost did exactly that. I narrowed down the list of potential candidates to two. Out of the two, I decided to give one guy the chance of getting to know me better. He wasn’t the perfect guy but going with the premise that there is no such thing as the “perfect guy” I decided to give him a chance. If you know me, you will know what a big decision that was. Second dates are hard to come by. I always find a reason as to why it shouldn’t happen. Anyway, we went out on a few dates, held hands, laughed about THINGS and after two kisses, the doubts started rolling in as they usually do. The biggest obstacle was that he’s a smoker. He didn’t smoke in front of me but I knew he did and being the health nut I am, I knew it wasn’t going to work out.

Anyway, he started talking about vacations together and spending lots of time together. I mean, lots of time! He was also too touchy feely for my liking and I didn’t like the fact that he wanted to hold hands all the time. Is that normal behavior? I like being free as a bird meaning no fences around me and holding hands seemed like he wanted to put a fence around me. Instead of putting distance between us, I went along thinking maybe this could work out. I was walking into the “settling” mode. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I was tired of going out on dates only to find the wrong guys. Maybe, I just wanted to put dating aside and not have to search for Mr. Right anymore. He seemed nice enough, had stars in his eyes when he looked at me, and that phrase, “I will do anything for you,” landed where it should. I was feeling important and wanted.

“Real women are strong, resilient, independent, loyal, and lovable, one thing about them is they never settle.” Unknown

What happened to that woman? The same question I keep asking myself. Then I woke up. The fact that he smoked was definitely a deal breaker. The next big thing is I don’t like being touched all the time. I want a relationship not a “glue stick.” Unfortunately, I keep running into the same types, guys who think that “touching” is part and parcel of a relationship. Some touching is ok but NOT all the time. It got to the point where I was afraid to look at him because the moment I did, he was all over me. Finally, I decided to let go of a relationship that was going nowhere. I wanted one thing and he, the whole shebang! We parted ways on friendly terms.

Know who you are.

Know what you want.

Know what you deserve.

And don’t settle for less.

Yes, it means I’ll still be out there looking for that someone who probably doesn’t exist! Scary? Yes, but settling for the wrong someone is even worse. Take your time, don’t listen to the voices that say, time is running out. Walk your path the way you want to and never, ever, settle for anything less than what you deserve.

Stop settling.

Being cheated on is not normal.

Being controlled is not normal.

Being abused is not normal.

Crying more than you smile is not normal.

Break-up to make-up is not normal.

Stop suffering and settling.

Tony Gaskins

AND

“Stop being okay with things you really are not okay with. Stop associating being a good person with how much you’re willing to suffer in silence. You can be a kind person and still say, “I’m not okay with this.” Being kind is not about being the human equivalent of a doormat.” Unknown

When it comes to relationships, choose carefully, take off your blinders and go in with your eyes wide open. If you see the signals cropping up, the red ones that tell you to tread carefully, pay attention and shut the door behind you. Move on knowing that it is for the best. There will always be another someone, the “one” someone who will be your perfect fit or the someone who meets you more than halfway.

Give it time.

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”

The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back to the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Yup that will do it!

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A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled, “The Meaning of Dreams.”

I bet he’s missing too!

*************************************************************

Have a day filled with laughter.

It’s Time-Out!

Enough is enough? Today is that day and I’ve decided to take some time-out and to pamper myself instead of catering to everyone else. The “everyone” meaning the three cats who are keeping me company from the moment I wake up to the time I go to bed and in-between!

Waking up this morning to one cat scratching at the bedroom door, the other knocking and the one in the bedroom meowing, “Mom, it’s time to get up!” told me that it was time to take some time for myself and to blur the cats out for an hour or two.

I had breakfast as usual and did my routine like I do every morning. Feeding the little rascals, cleaning up after them, listening to their complaints, and wondering what to say when the “white one” cries, “WHERE IS MY DADDY?!!”

Today, it was going to be “my” time to enjoy myself. I decided to go to town and have a nice cup of coffee at the cafe and people watch. The sun was shining and a perfectly wonderful day to do just that. I made it there just as the shops were opening. First, I headed to the pet store and stocked up on more cat food, yes, I spoil them. Then I picked up some cat toys. It was time for that cup of coffee. Walking into the cafe, I noticed that I was the only one there. It was still early. My favorite server was there with a smile on his face. He’s from Argentina and we’ve talked before. He asked, “Alone, today?” Answering in the affirmative, I ordered my cup of coffee. He then introduced me to this other guy as his brother. A cute guy who was just learning the ropes. We talked and then my coffee was there. They left me in peace to enjoy it.

Looking outside, I noticed that it was getting busy. The bakery across the way was jam-packed. It’s the place where I get my cheesecake and I could see them, the cheesecakes sitting on the counter and winking at me! I quickly looked away. I’ve been cheesecake free for a week now and I plan to keep it that way. So I turned my attention to the people. It was interesting. Most had their attention diverted to their phones. They were either looking at something or talking on it. Others seemed to be in a hurry. Some were laden down with big bags of groceries, while others were rushing somewhere. I was glad that I had nowhere to go. I sat there daydreaming as I slowly enjoyed the cup of Italian coffee. It was really good.

The break was doing me good. I could feel myself calming down and before I could get into a nirvana state of mind, I decided to pay up and make my way home. The plan was to go home, change into sweats and head to the fields, a wonderful addition to a stress-free day.

Just as I walked in, I heard, “We want to go home!” It was the white Persian and the dark-colored British long hair. Guess, they had enough of putting up with Chachi, the macho. My little guy was up in arms as he belted out, “SHE’S A B**CH!”

Lord, have mercy! There goes my peace out the window. After calming them down, I put on my walking shoes and headed out determined to salvage the day. As I closed the door behind me and headed out, it felt peaceful again. I will deal with whatever comes my way LATER! Now, it is my time and nothing else matters.

INVEST IN YOURSELF. Here’s the thing, no matter how stressful life gets, take time-out for yourself. You are worth it and your future depends on it.

Have an amazing day.

Springtime Bliss

It was early when I ventured out this morning. The sun was already shining and spring beckoned telling me that there was beauty out there to be discovered and not to waste time! Besides, I needed to get out of the house and to get some fresh air. The cats had been fed, brushed, the house cleaned and everything was as it should be except I needed OUT and what better place than the fields to keep me company and to help herald in a new day.

“Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn.” Lewis Grizzard.

It was cold in the shade as I zipped up my jacket and walked up the hill. Immediately, I saw them. Just three of them, slightly smaller in stature as they stood there in the sunshine with their heads turned skywards. Perhaps, they were this year’s addition to the herd. I am talking about baby deer or rather fawn as they are called. I was still a distance away but as I approached, their heads turned in unison as they watched me cautiously. Within minutes, they made a run for it and went into the clump of trees and stayed there as I passed, waiting for the human to leave them in peace. I did.

Just then, I heard the soft cooing of a pigeon in the tree somewhere. Usually, it would be the loud cawing of a crow, harsh and raw, but this time around the soft cooing blended in with the quiet of the fields perfectly. Nothing else seemed to be moving. It was still early and the world was just coming awake. I turned towards the forest line and wondered if they were there, their splendid yellow heads moving with the wind.

“I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high o’er vales and hills, when all at once I saw a crowd, a host, of golden daffodils; beside the lake, beneath the trees, flattering and dancing in the breeze.” William Woodsworth

They were there and I was no longer alone, nature had decided to keep me company with a beauty so breathtaking that I could just stand and stare for a while. The slight gurgling of the stream as it meandered through the forest and the beauty of the daffodils standing like silent sentinels as they kept watch was enough to clear my mind of any cobwebs left behind from this morning’s stress and in its place was pure peace and wonder.

Walking back I noticed the rabbits as they showed up one by one, there were three in total, as they went about enjoying their breakfast of greens. There was plenty to be had.

“It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold, when it is summer in the light and winter in the shade.” Charles Dickens

So it was. Back home, I decided to have my second cup of coffee out in the garden. There is much work to be done, the weeds are starting to sprout and nature is working extra hard to bring the “bloom” back in all its glory. The big old Magnolia is looking gorgeous again in her spring attire. It is a show stopper every year and this year will be no different. The smaller one out back is in full bloom, a beauty in white sprinkling its delicate scent throughout the garden. I had to stop and stare as I took in a whiff of its scent, soft, sweet and breathtaking like the tree itself. The roses are not in yet but they will show up soon enough and it will be spectacular when they do. For now, the Magnolias are first in line and it is enough to bring forth spring’s bliss.

“Some old-fashioned things like fresh air and sunshine are hard to beat.” Laura Ingles Wilder

Have an amazing day.

Love Lessons

Love as we know has many facets. It is not a one size fits all kind of thing. There is the love between a parent and child, there is the love between a pet and its owner, there is the love of material things but nothing is as powerful as the love that shows up and turns your world on its head and you don’t know if you’re coming or going. It is the kind of love that comes and touches your heart, sends your blood pumping and you are left wondering what happened?

However, this love between a man and woman has its ups and downs. Sometimes it goes smoothly and sometimes when you least expect it, you get the rug pulled out from under your feet. There is the kind that shows up and you are head over heels and the kind that doesn’t get the same response from the other person. There is the kind that takes you for a ride, the kind that breaks your heart into a thousand pieces and hurt becomes a part of loving. There is the kind that loves to play games and the kind that doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings. It is all part and parcel of this thing called love. If you are lucky, you find someone who looks at you and you’re IT and then there is the kind that does circles around you and keeps you guessing.

Different kinds of love but it has one thing in common. Love is powerful and it has the ability to turn an ordinary person into someone extraordinary or leaves you gasping for air. Love lessons they are aplenty and since I’m in this, “What is love really about?” mood, here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.

“Some people teach you what love feels like. Others teach you what love is not. Both shape how you protect your heart.” Unknown

Been there, done that and there is truth in that quote.

“I don’t walk away to teach people a lesson, I walk away because I learned mine.” Unknown

Done this one too. Believe me, the walking away gets easier as time goes along.

Spend your time on those who LOVE you unconditionally. Don’t waste it on those who only love you when the conditions are right for them.” Unknown

Listen carefully to this one. When you are not the priority, leave! No point hanging around.

“Not all love lasts, but the lessons love brings to us do.” Mandy Hale

The absolute truth. Learn from the lessons and let go of the rest.

“Sometimes life sends us people who don’t love us enough, to remind us of what we’re worthy of.” Mandy Hale

This is painful but it is a lesson that has to be learned. You are worthy of real love and not the wishy washy kind. Pay attention to what is shown and take the right path. It is not going to be easy but worthiness comes from knowing who you are and what you will stand for. It demands courage as well to shut the door and to move on.

“Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.” Unknown

Quite often we do the chase or the dance or whatever name you give it but you know what I mean. Chasing love, affection, or attention quite often brings the opposite. Don’t chase, let it go and see what happens.

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” Nicole Reed

I think this one works on the same principle as karma does. Someone does something bad to you and if you believe in karma, I do, you know that at some point they will get their comeuppance. When? That’s the problem. There is no date or time given, just that it will take place at some point and you have to believe that it will. So when will good things start happening. Same thing. Wait for it and sooner or later it will happen. No fun? Yes, well, life moves to a different beat and all in good time because you have to learn before you reap the benefits, I suppose.

Enough about love? One last thing, love is many-faceted and it has its mysteries but one thing is for sure, WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!

Have an amazing day and I hope the right kind of love finds you.