mindset – Page 4 – Site Title

It Was Smooth Sailing!

I did the test drive and came off looking like a winner. It was nerve-racking when I got there and the guy at the dealership asked, “Ready to do the test drive?” with a big smile on his face. I stuttered, “I think so.” He laughed and said, “I’ll be right next to you so nothing will go wrong.”

The car wasn’t exactly like the one I’m looking at. The guy reassured me that it will be ok. I CAN drive this one too. It had a few new-fangled things but I decided to ignore them and hoped they would ignore me too! I took my seat, adjusted the mirrors like a pro, fastened the seatbelt and started the engine! So far, so good. I had to make the car move which meant taking my foot off the brake pedal and that took some time coming. Finally, we moved out of the parking area, into the short street leading to the main road and I told myself, “Calm down!” I waited till I could merge and took off.

Surprisingly the car was very quiet. He said it was on the electric mode and that little symbol on the dash shows you that. Where?!! He went on to explain that it does it automatically so nothing to worry about. It had some nice features, it showed the temperature outside, it showed the speed limit I should be doing and did a tiny beep or two when I exceeded what I was supposed to be doing. It was compact, it handled well, and I liked how it felt! I was so comfortable that we talked the whole way during the drive. He also mentioned that I was driving the car like I had been driving it for a long time and not just today. Wow! Sales pitch? I don’t know but I liked driving the car. Doing the reverse was a breeze and this thing had cameras everywhere!

We pulled back into the park place at the dealership and I was almost ready to say, “I’ll take it!” Knowing me, I took the cautious route. We went back into his office and he offered me more than I expected for my current car. Hmm….I couldn’t believe it but still I couldn’t make the “horse drink from the water.” So, I asked a few more questions. He told me the guarantee was for 5 years and I could pay to have it for 10 years. Then he went on to say, “What could go wrong? You have a new car.”

ME: “A lot could go wrong according to what Google told me and the well-meaning friends who have been helping me.”

However, I kept my mouth shut. Am I taking it? I asked for a day or two to make up my mind. He agreed and said, “I will hear from you on Wednesday?”

ME: “Yes, I think you will.”

As I left his office, I was glad to be out of there. It felt like I had accomplished something. Basically, the test-drive that had been taunting me all weekend, I achieved it without batting an eye and I gave myself a pat on the back for that. Have I made up my mind? What do you think?!!

I’ve roped someone else to go look at some other cars tomorrow. Why? Just because it is a lot of money and I want to be absolutely sure I’m making the right decision. Just like the guys I date you say?

Exactly.

Release the Chase

The word “chase” encapsules the thrill of the pursuit and it evokes feelings of urgency because chasing either your dreams, a special person, or your success story requires this single-minded focus and sometimes everything else goes out of focus and the chase is what you’re about. You feel the adrenaline rush and it takes you to new highs, not always a good thing but who cares because in that moment, you are alive and that is all that matters.

We know this well, don’t we? We’ve done it all the way through childhood to where we’re at now. In the earlier years, the chase was about doing better in school, exceling at sports, or being the popular person at school. In your teens, the social world opened up and the chase was about accomplishments, attracting a boy or girl, and fitting in. Adulthood brought about new things to chase. Love, success, wanting to make it so that you can climb the rungs of success. It was expected and you conformed and sometimes you enjoyed the chase and sometimes you didn’t but it was part of your life.

Along the way we learned that chasing was necessary if we wanted something bad enough. We also learned that sometimes the chasing wasn’t just about the good things. There were moments when we chased situations that were not good for us. It didn’t matter because we wanted what we wanted and even if the outcome was going to be bad, we put on blinders and did the dance of chasing. Along the way, we became experts at all kinds of chasing and sometimes to our own detriment. The truth of the matter is that we have been in various forms of chase throughout our lives.

Life becomes more exciting when you are in the chase mode or rather you have something to live for. Sometimes it keeps us on the edge and at other times we can do without the blood-pumping adrenaline rush but giving it up is a hard thing to do. Have you ever chased the wrong person in a relationship knowing full well that you should let it die a slow death or even a fast one? How many times did you chase just because you didn’t want to give up what was bad for you? Your heart wanted what it wanted and you went along for the ride. We are pros when it comes to seeking out what we desire passionately.

This unassuming word was referred to as “chacier” in Old French and in Latin “captare” meaning to seize. According to one source, “when we chase something — be it success, happiness, or even closure — we’re not merely pursuing; we’re reaching out for possession over our own narratives.”

Those stories that we tell ourselves can sometimes be our worst enemies. So, the next time you decide to “chase” or to do the chasing, think carefully. Do you really want it? Is it good for you? Or is it better off left alone?

Life Got Quieter in a Good Way

When I switched from expect to accept, my life got quieter — in the best way. Fewer arguments, fewer overreactions, fewer battles at 2 a.m. I don’t chase responses, don’t pressure outcomes, don’t demand constant reassurance. I accept what is real, release what is draining, and let peace take up the space where chaos used to live.” MORNING SMILE

If that isn’t enough to let go and release the chase, here is something that might help you do just that if you believe in the universe that is.

“Be so deep in alignment with your intention that your dream starts to chase you.” The Universe

Have an amazing day and instead of chasing, sit back and let it come and get you!

It’s Sunday!

Didn’t we just go through Sunday? Well, it’s on a loop and comes by sooner than expected! To put it succinctly, time flies. I made up my mind to have a quiet one today. No intrusions of any kind including my overactive mind.

Tomorrow is going to be a nerve-racking one. I’ll be test-driving the new car and I’m not looking forward to it. The weather is supposed to be rainy so that is not going to help matters much. Last Friday, I went to look at another car. Why? I told you, my mind keeps jumping around and it keeps me on my toes. Look at all that is out there before you make a decision, it says. I agree but pair that with well-meaning people who keep sending me information on what to look out for and yours truly on the Google mode and you’ve got horror in the making! I KNOW what not to buy and that is almost every car! So, now I’ve decided to put Google aside although it keeps begging me to come back, just like cheesecake does. Today, there will be no Googling and no well-meant advice. I’m on my own with my trusted Chachi, the cat, for company.

Monday will come soon enough and I’m not going to sweat bullets, well, I never do but that is besides the point. I will meditate for all I’m worth and go into a quiet space to psych myself up but without thinking too much. Make sense? No? Never mind, I know what it means.

I woke up feeling a little under the weather. It could be my overactive mind playing tricks on me. If I can’t get you through overthinking, let’s try another method! It’s not going to work. I’m going to go test drive that car, get it over with, and come hell or high water I’m determined to do it. I may decide against it afterwards and just have my current car repaired. I DO NOT like changes and that is the pull there.

Today, I have good intentions of being in my safe zone, taking it easy, breathing like a monk, and leaving tomorrow where it belongs. It hasn’t happened yet so why spend time on it. WHY?!! Because I’m wired that way! Okay, deep breath, let it out slowly and here we go into the quiet.

Fingers and toes crossed!

Life Happens

“I’ve learned over and over that life happens on its own terms, not mine.” Kate Walsh

Ms. Walsh is absolutely right in that respect. Life happens as it happens and most times you have no control over it whatsoever. What fun is there in having a crystal ball to show you everything before it comes knocking on your door right? Well, I for one think it might just make life a tad easier but no luck there. Life happens and you’ll just have to deal with whatever comes your way whether you want to or not.

“Life happens,” is an idiom used to express that there are things we can’t control, foresee or prepare for. The future is unknown, and anything could happen.

According to Sarah Pierson of Huffingtonpost, here are some tips on how to make life happen instead of just letting it happen to you.

Create a timeline of the things you most want to experience or accomplish. Basically have some goals and go out and get them done.

Take risks. I’m not a risk taker so this is hard for me. However, taking risks is the way to go according to Ms. Pearson. You need to get yourself out there in order to overcome the fears of facing life head-on.

Invest in people. Investing your time in people is well worth the effort it seems because the rewards are plenty. It is time well-spent, cuts back on loneliness and it gets you out there in this great big world of ours.

Learn to let go of that which you cannot control and to adapt. This is another hard one for me. Letting go has never been my forte and adapting, well, that’s right up there with one of the hardest things to do! I am willing to give it a go.

Seek advice from those who are living life fully. This is a good one. Learning by example is never a bad idea.

Travel

Learn not to compare. If you’re always comparing yourself to someone who has more than you, who looks better than you or someone who just seems to have it altogether, you’ll never get a handle on your own life because you’ll always be hoping and wishing instead of bringing the focus back to you and that is where it needs to be to move forward.

“Be available for life to happen.” Bill Murray

In order for life to happen, you’ve got to start making life happen. If it’s a job you want, make a plan. It’s not going to fall into your lap, you’ve got to move to make it happen. Read up on the best interview strategies. Find out how you can hone your skills to come across as the best candidate for the job. Spruce up your appearance, those old ratty pair of jeans and seen better days t-shirts will have to go. Invest in some good clothes. It matters. Finding a job in this fast-paced and dog eat dog world is never easy and daunting to say the least but with hard work, dedication and effort, you can land the job of your dreams. Never give up and you are almost a winner!

If it’s a relationship you want, get rid of the no gooders. Period. If they don’t contribute to your life, get rid of them. If you’re looking for that perfect someone, it starts with you. Do your homework and find out what it is that you want. There is no such thing as ‘perfect’ but you’ll get pretty close if you’re willing to settle for mutual respect, love and honesty. The rest will fall in place.

If it’s happiness you’re looking for, you’ll have to do the work here as well. Nothing is ever handed to you on a silver platter. Know what makes YOU happy and go out and find it. Easier said than done? Well, yes but there is no other way unfortunately.

“Life happens to all of us. It’s not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us that really decides if we’re going to be victims or if we’re going to get and have everything we’ve ever dreamed of.” Eric Thomas

Finally, get to know yourself. Spend time with yourself to find out what it is that you want. If it’s one or all of the things mentioned above but you don’t know where to start, have no fear because you are fully capable of figuring it out. You know what makes you tick, what makes you happy so don’t just let life happen, make it happen the way you want it. If it scares you, you’re not alone. Join the club!

“No matter what happens, you can get through the day. Inhale. Focus on the word, ‘relax.’ Exhale. Say, ‘I can do this! And then do it.” Ace Antonio Hall

Have an amazing Sunday.

Change Your Strategy

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“Failure is hard. But turn those failures into learning experiences, so that you’ll look back and be happy that you failed, because you gained more knowledge from that experience. Sometimes, it’s simply an indication to change your strategy instead of giving up completely.” Albert Rogers

“Change your strategy” is often used in the business world to place emphasis on a module that is not working so it’s time to regroup and refocus your energy into bringing in new options to make whatever is not working into a workable one. This concept works in real-life as well. If something doesn’t work, change it. Seems like a great idea at first glance but hard to put into action if you love the ‘plan’ you’ve put into action and and are dead set against changing it. If you’re someone who doesn’t like change like yours truly here, it is a concept that is hard to comprehend let alone to work with.

“Waiting for something outside you to change before you change is a broken strategy. Fix it by deciding to be someone different and do something different. Transformation happens from the inside out if you take action.” Unknown

Taking that into account, it seems like the most sensible way to go about changing failure into a success story. The problem is you must want to. It’s not going to work any other way. Pinpoint the problem, refocus your energy, find ways to take a failure and change it into a winning solution and put it into action. If you think you’re doing everything right and you still don’t understand why you’re failing then it’s time to really look at what you’re doing and find a different way of doing it. There’s more than one way to skin a cat as the euphemism goes and no matter how offensive that might be, being a cat lover myself, it just means there are other ways of doing something. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Be open to change and change your strategy. However, there are times when you can do everything possible until you’re blue in the face and still the same old failure concept comes knocking at your door and if that’s the case, do not despair. You’ll get there, just keep trying.

Learn to roll with the punches, keep getting back up when life knocks you down and never ever give up.

“When you face failures, don’t change your goal, change your strategy.” Vivek Bindra

I’ve experienced life in all its wonderful and not so wonderful facets and the one that I hate or hated the most was change. My motto was, “Why fix something if it ain’t broke.” The actual thought behind that was, “I like where I’m at, good or bad and change is for the birds!” It took years of resistance, falling down, refusing to get back up and digging my heels in AND screaming, “Leave me alone!” to realize that change is an integral part of life. It teaches us in a not so nice way that it’s needed, falling makes you gain experience and you learn that YOU are not God. So move along, embrace change before it’s too late. I learned it the hard way and I still bristle when I see ‘change’ coming around but these days I’m ready to embrace it, learn what it has to offer and to accept it for what it is. A lesson learned because it has to be learned.

“Failure is nothing more than a chance to revise your strategy.” Unknown

Oops! I’ve got to run. I see ‘change’ approaching wearing a smile on its face and with bells clanging and I’m not in the mood for it today. Just kidding.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

The Last Cry?

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We got dumped on last night and about 10 inches of snow came down! This morning, it was a winter wonderland with the trees wearing white heavily laden with snow. The bamboo tree in my neighbor’s garden is showing just how resilient it is. Come heavy rain, winds, or snow, it bends and moves and sometimes lies dormant until the storm has passed and then stands back up none the worse for wear. We should take some lessons from that.

Luckily I’ve got good neighbors. I was up at 6 and I heard some noise outside. Looking outside, I noticed a lady bundled up with a big snow shovel in hand, hard at work. She not only cleared up her front walkway but went on to clear up mine as well! However, within minutes the snow had done its job of filling up the clear spaces again. Bah humbug! This meant that I would have to bundle up from head to toe and clear it up again. After breakfast, I told myself.

A few minutes later, I heard noises again. Looking outside, I saw another neighbor doing the same thing. He was clearing up the walkway again. This time I told myself, “Maybe I’ll get lucky and I won’t have to go outside.” No such luck! Snow is and was coming down and in big flakes. It seems to be having fun showing us that it is going to stay for awhile. Anyway, I bundled up and went outside. My front steps were covered in snow so that was the first thing I needed to do. After that, I took my small broom and tried clearing the snow. It is no match for those big snow shovels! It did a weak job of clearing the snow away. I decided to bring the big guns in, my supply of salt. Surely, it will do the job of melting the snow? Well, it did only to be covered by the gleeful snow which was now having more “fun” than expected! I gave up.

Back indoors, I looked at the weather forecast and it is predicting snow all day. Let’s add more fuel to the fire, why don’t we. Tomorrow we will have 15 minus here and that is going to be COLD which means the temps will take a dip and freeze what is out there! Could it get any worse? Yes, it could but I’m not going to get into it.

I’m grateful for the the roof over my head, hot coffee and tea to warm my heart and Chachi, the cat, to cuddle with. Oh, one more thing. I’m canceling the car test drive tomorrow. It will have to wait till Monday. Not too bothered about it.

Have a wonderful day.

Let It Go

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons to learn in life. Holding on is somehow innately built into the human system and we are wired to hold on when things go wrong. At least, that is the case with me. If only I had the ability to “let go” when I knew that there was no point in holding on. Life would be so much easier right? Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. I am an overthinker, an overachiever and a hold on with a death grip type of person. At times I am well aware that the ship has set sail and is out of sight but I keep looking longingly out to sea hoping it would return and everything would be alright but most times, it never does and still I refuse to let go.

“One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.” Unknown

The hard thing about letting go is the fear factor. The unknown is always scary. We tend to fixate on what was instead of realizing that it is done with, a thing of the past and it’s time to move on. The pieces remain of what once was, be it a lesson learned or pieces to build a future with but only if we stop looking at that closed door and turn towards the one that is open BUT going through it is like leading a horse to water but making it drink is another story altogether.

Shannon Alder says:

“Forget what hurt you but NEVER forget what it taught you.”

If only it was that easy. Speaking from experience and being the proverbial holder on, I know that there were times when I dug in my heels and refused to budge because it was what was behind that closed door that I wanted. It didn’t matter that it was bad for me and it didn’t matter that it was gone, water under the bridge so to speak and still I held on for dear life. I cried a waterfall when I could have saved those tears if only I had taken the first step to go through that open door. Freedom comes in letting go which in turn gives you the ability to fly because nothing is weighing you down anymore. I am learning not to stay in one place too long, to look back and to gather the lessons I have learned and when the time is right to keep moving forward. Life is for living, not just existing and being stuck in one place is an absolute no go. It is in moving forward that you learn the power of letting go, the power of living again.

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” Oprah Winfrey

LET GO!

Have an amazing day.

Be Proud of Yourself

Are you proud of yourself? Is it pride you feel when you think of who you are as a person? Have you taken timeout to look at all the accomplishments you’ve achieved or do you beat yourself down with all the negatives, both real and the made-up ones, every chance you get? If you step back and really look at yourself, I’m sure you’ll find many instances where you’ve achieved more than most people. All of those things demanded mammoth strength to overcome and ones that really deserved a pat on your back but you let it pass because you were too busy doing this.

“Instead of wishing you were someone else, be proud of who you are. You never know who was looking at you wishing they were you.” Unknown

No way?!! Believe me, there are plenty of people out there who will gladly step into your shoes and will want to walk a mile in them. People who are worse off than you, ones who haven’t achieved half of what you’ve done and just like you, hoping and wishing they had better shoes to fill. Be proud of yourself. You’ve come a long ways and you can do the impossible if you set your mind to it.

“When you feel insecure or like you don’t measure up, remind yourself of how far you’ve come. And in that moment, you’ll realize you’ve climbed mountains and can overcome anything.” Brittany Burgunder

Oh, but there are too many scars, too much pain, too much inadequacy when compared to someone else. I’ve had more than my share of problems to carry, like a yoke on my shoulders. How can I be proud of myself when “life” keeps pushing me down?

“Be proud of your scars. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you’ve endured. They’re a treasure map to the deep self.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes

That deep self is where you thrive. You see the strength, the courage, the determination to survive and it has brought you to where you are now. Be proud of yourself because you, my friend, are unique. You are beautiful, you are strong and you are capable of handling everything life throws your way. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the insurmountable. Pat yourself on the back even if no one else does and keep moving forward and while you’re doing that remind yourself of this.

“Stop letting other people define you, be yourself and be proud of it.” Unknown

One more for good measure.

“BE SOMEONE YOU WOULD BE PROUD TO KNOW.” Unknown

Have an amazing and beautiful day.

Spring is in the Air?

“Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.” Doug Larson

I took my usual walk this morning and I was the only one out there with the “conference” of crows for company. There were about 20 of them huddled together in the field trying to keep the cold wind at bay while I approached all bundled up disturbing their peace. They did let out a loud caw as I got too close and took off to somewhere quieter.

We had snow yesterday but it melted as evening rolled around. Nothing new today but the forecast says light snow showers later. The temperature is dipping and can be felt from the biting wind tinged with ice as it picks up speed and touches my nose before it makes its way to where it needs to go. No one around or rather no one brave enough to get out here and meet the weather head-on. I did and I must say it feels refreshing and peaceful to have the place all to myself.

Taking my usual route, I walked to the apple trees and it was a muddy trek. Puddles of water were aplenty and I had to curb my urge to jump in them! The fact that they were tinged with ice stopped me from doing just that. As I approached the apple trees, I could see the small graveyard in the distance. It looked peaceful as it usually does. I’m sure he is at peace now.

Turning back, I took the same path back and decided to go up the hill. Then I saw them and my breath caught in my throat. Two ducks standing together, quiet but eyeing me cautiously. As I approached, they backed up and took off their red-tinged tails and loud quacks signaling that they were none too pleased with the intrusion. Spring on the way? I’m not too sure about that because we have snow in the forecast for Thursday, a 70% chance, so what are the ducks doing here? Perhaps, they are in a rush for spring to get here as I am. On my way back, I saw one rabbit dashing across the fields. Down the hill, two more appeared doing their spring dance! An older guy stood watching them and as I approached he said, “Wonderful sight, isn’t it?” I agreed. Yes, spring is definitely in the air and the silent world is beginning to wake up from its long slumber. I can’t wait!

It was a good walk although the cold is making my nose run. I need another cup of coffee and warmth to pep me up. It’s going to be a good day.

LOL!

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It’s the start of another brand new week and what better way to get it going than with a bit of laughter. I found the jokes below hilarious and it certainly tickled my funny bone! Hope it lightens the load.

When women fall ill:

“It’s ok. I’m just a little tired.”

When men fall ill:

“Listen to me carefully woman, these are my last words.”

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Men used to say, “Why marry the cow when the milk is free?”

Ladies, these days I think the real question is: “Why take home the whole pig when all you want is a bit of sausage?”

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One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says, “Smell this, it usually smells nice.”

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A husband asks his wife, “Will you marry after I die?”

The wife responds: “No, I will live with my sister.”

The wife asks: “Will you marry after I die?”

Husband: “No, I will also live with your sister.”

Guess who died first!!!

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I got all dewy-eyed when I saw my husband looking at our marriage certificate for half an hour. Then I found out he’s been searching for the expiry date!

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A wife texts her husband on a cold winter morning.

“Windows frozen, won’t open.”

Husband: Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and tap the edges with a hammer.”

Five minutes later

Wife: “Computer really messed up now.”

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Have an amazing day.