mindset – Page 12 – Site Title

LOL!

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.

The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”

Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work.

On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”

She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”

The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.

The store manager replied, “That’s not good,” and promised he wouldn’t say it again.

When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, “Hey lady.”

She paused and said, “Yes?”

The bird said, “You know.”

🤣🤣🤣

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now. That’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

A Frosty Morning

It’s a harbinger of things to come. Looking out the window this morning, I realized that fall or rather the golden days of fall have flown by and in its place we have winter moving in leaps and bounds! The fields are shrouded in fog giving them an air of mystery as they cloak and uncloak in shadows only to reveal themselves in the not so distant future wearing their winter garb that lacks color but still beautiful to behold.

There is a certain something about the changing of seasons. It takes place in an hush hush atmosphere but it is so regimented that it never fails to show up, just a matter of time before a new one walks in taking its rightful place. However, I’m a little sad that the colors of fall were wiped away by the wind, rain and storms. I see one lone tree blazing red in the neighbor’s garden and how it escaped the gale force winds is beyond me but it is a beautiful sight nonetheless.

I’ve got a gardener coming by later today to help bag up the leaves that are lying carpet thick on the ground. The garden looks a mess. The rest of the apples are lying on the ground but it was a bumper crop this year, enough to give away to friends and neighbors. The fig tree was late to the party as usual. The leaves have turned brown but there are still unripe figs on the tree which will have to be thrown away. However, the ripe figs I got off the tree were sweet and juicy but I wish that it will show up earlier next year before the cold makes a showing. The water to the garden has been turned off and once the leaves are raked up, I am all set for winter!

The weather is not cooperating so no walk in nature today. I’ll have to bite the bullet and stay indoors and do something productive. I still have the closets to rearrange, summer stuff to be taken upstairs and stored away and winter stuff brought down. It is a tedious task but needs to be done.

Chachi will have a field day with that. He thinks it is playtime! I’m making Miso soup with tofu, veggies and Kim Chi added in for an extra dose of healthy eating! Seems like the perfect thing for today’s weather. Throw in a workout or two and I’ve got my day planned.

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical center.

He put a sign up outside that said, “Get your treatment for $500 – if not cured get back $1,000.”

Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.

He went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic and this is what happened.

Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring me medicine from Box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: “Aaagh! This is Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from Box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Doctor Young: “Oh no, you don’t, that’s Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak. I can hardly see!”

Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, here’s your $1000 back.”

Dr. Young: “but this is only $500…”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”

Moral of the story: Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an old “Geezer.”

Just because you’re “Old” doesn’t mean you’ve lost all your marbles!

The Strength Within (Archives)

It is there, it is invisible and it stays dormant until it is called upon to show you and the world that YOU are strong, you are undefeatable and you are a force to be reckoned with. Not all of us are that strong and when life throws those lessons our way, we crumble, we push back but after all is said and done and looking back at the past you realize that “strength” was always there, it just took a little time getting there.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.

“Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly, ‘You got this, keep going.” Unknown

“Courage is not having the strength to go on, it is going on when you don’t have the strength.” Theodore Roosevelt

“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” Brene Brown

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” Steve Maraboli

I love this next one. It shows that the spirit is not easily won over.

“I wear my bruises and scars like armor. Marks of battles fought in silence and storms endured out loud.

My pain? It’s the fire that forges resilience, a testament to the strength that refuses to break. I’m still here, unyielding and undefeated.” Unknown

“You have within you, right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.” Brian Tracy

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” Ernest Hemingway

The last two speaks of understanding and of acceptance and still having the courage and the strength to move on.

“Someone I once loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.” Mary Oliver

AND

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” Maya Angelou

Have an amazing day.

Good Vibes

It’s Sunday and it is raining out there. The sky is gray and the wind is blowing. The storm is refusing to take a hike and it is driving me up the wall! I came up with a great idea to pep up my mood and these hilarious quotes helped to do just that. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

“My advice to you is get married. If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” Socrates

Yup, there are many philosophers out there.

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.” Rod Stewart

Hmm…..okay never mind!

“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.” Dave Barry

I met several of those when my son was young and I had no book to go by.

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” Rodney Dangerfield.

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you!” Rita Mae Brown

“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies, probably because they are generally the same people.” G. K Chesterton

“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” George Carlin

“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” Charlie Brown

ME TOO!

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.” W. C. Fields

“When in doubt, look intelligent.” Garrison Keillor

Have a great Sunday folks.

LOL!

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide:

The first old guy says to the second guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The second old guy says, “That’s OK. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”

The first says, “Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?”

The second old guy says, “Well, she is 27 years old, tall with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?”

The first old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours.”

What can I say? Well, there is plenty I can say but I’m going to keep my mouth shut!

LOL!

Two Italian men get on a bus….

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

“Emma come first.

Den I come.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time.”

“You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly.

“In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”

“Hey coola down lady,” said the man.

“Who talkin’ about sexa?”

“I’m ajusta tellin’ my frienda how to spell Mississippi!”

Yup, that’s a hard word to spell!

LOL!

Photo by Nashua Volquez-Young on Pexels.com

A man to the psychiatrist:

“What are the admission requirements at your psychiatric hospital?”

Psychiatrist: “We fill a bathtub with water and then provide a spoon, a cup, and a bucket. Then we tell the person to empty the bathtub.”

Man: “Ah, I see. A normal person would take a bucket.”

Psychiatrist: “No, a normal person would pull the plug. Would you like your room with or without a balcony?”

I wanted to say……well, never mind!

*************************************************************

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said:

“Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?”

“Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.”

“But madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”

LOL!

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test and said…

“Johnny, I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.”

Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it.

“Well,” said Mr. Johnson. “I was looking over your test and the question was,

“Who was the first president?” and the little girl who sits next to you, Mary, put “George Washington,” and so did you.

“So, everyone knows that he was the first president.”

“Well, just a minute,” said Mr. Johnson.

The next question was, “Who freed the slaves?”

Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you.

“Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that,” said Johnny.

“Wait, wait,” said Mr. Johnson.

The next question was, “Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?”

Mary put, “I don’t know,” and you put, “Me neither.”

🤣🤣🤣

Loneliness (Archives)

“Find company within yourself and you’ll never spend a day alone. Find love within yourself and you’ll never have a lonely day.” Connor Chalfant

Loneliness is defined as sadness because one has no friends or company. However, it is actually a state of mind. People who are lonely have trouble connecting with others because even though they want and crave human contact, their state of mind makes it hard for them to see beyond what they are feeling. At this stage, they often see themselves as unworthy of friendship, they often feel rejected and more often than not, they voluntarily remove themselves from what is causing them hurt and that is the outside world and so the vicious cycle begins and takes hold.

Low self-esteem, lack of confidence and being an introvert can all lead to isolation and loneliness. The effects are far-reaching and at times scary. It can lead to antisocial behavior, feelings of not fitting in and worst case scenario, it can also lead to depression and suicide.

Almost everyone experiences loneliness at some time or rather and it gets worse during holidays, birthdays and other significant days. Someone close to me is dealing with symptoms of loneliness and any suggestions of help is falling on deaf ears. He is hell-bent on holding onto his new best friend “loneliness.” I think we are our own worst enemy and when we fall, we fall deep and hard. We go into the trenches and it is hard to crawl back out. We tell ourselves we are not good enough as we are, opinions matter and we see ourselves as not worthy of interacting with what is out there. At times the outside world can be cruel and for someone who is struggling it can be more than daunting. What to do short of meeting with a therapist? Perhaps these few tips might help.

Be there and show that you care.

Be patient. Irritation is the common response. Show that you’re there to listen.

Join a group, exercise class or book club. There are many other options.

Do things you enjoy.

Go for a walk.

Share your feelings.

Practice self-care. Start exercising, eat nutritious foods and get enough sleep.

Love yourself warts and all.

Most of all stay busy.

If none of the above help, here are some quotes to see life from the brighter side.

“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” Mandy Hale

“It’s impossible to be lonely when you’re zesting an orange. Scrape the soft rind once and the whole room fills with fruit. Look around: you have more than enough. Always have. You just didn’t notice until now.” Mary Oliver

I love this one.

If you are feeling lonely know that you’ll always have:

“Books to nurture your mind. Hands to create and explore. Wind to calm your soul. Breathes to soothe your nerves. Nature to soak your worries away. Stars to decorate your dreams.” Emma Xie

Have an amazing day.