worries – Site Title

The Preparation

One week to go and I’m climbing walls again. A friend told me that he would bring a ladder the next time he comes to visit instead of flowers since I love climbing walls so much!

What can I say? I’m a wall climber! Well, only when the unexpected is facing me and I don’t know what the outcome will be. Google is telling me, “You’ll be fine. You are well-prepared.” Yes, they’ve been a big help but still the worries are there. What if I get a surgeon who had a bad night the evening before and took to the bottle? What if I get an apprentice who doesn’t know what he/she is doing? What if……God these what ifs are driving me up the wall. There’s that wall again!

Thursday I have the pre-op. I will get a chance to ask all the questions I want. I have another problem, my throat is acting up. Not sure why but I just did a saltwater gargle, hope that helps. I think I’m just nervous and my body is saying, “I can’t take this STRESS anymore!”

My overnight bag is packed, just in case I have to stay in the hospital. I have a long list of stuff to get tomorrow. I never leave anything to chance so a friend is coming over and we will do the rounds of getting everything I need for when I come back home. I’ll invite her out to lunch as a big thank you.

Other than that, I’m trusting and believing that all will go well. I hope I don’t freak out and call the whole thing off! The doctor has already warned me that if I do that, it will be to my own detriment. “Get it done,” was what he said and the other two doctors agreed.

Looks like it is a go. I’ll just have to bite the bullet, gather up my strength and courage, believe that I’m in good hands and go through with this. What could go wrong? P L E N T Y! That is the problem.

Ok, taking a deep breath. I seem to be doing that a lot these days. Taking another one to calm myself down and another one for good measure.

Wow, this is hard but I can DO HARD THINGS. Didn’t I write a post about exactly that? Someone else told me to take my own medicine meaning the posts I put out with the help advice. Agreed, BUT I know that I’ll be climbing walls as it gets closer and there is nothing anyone can do about it. It’s just the way it is and I’m a worrywart so it comes with the territory.

Bah Humbug!

One More Prayer

A hymn about trusting and letting go of worries. Simply beautiful.

THANK YOU!

The Problem Makers

There are problem makers and then there are problem makers.

“Avoid people who mess with your head. Avoid people who intentionally and repeatedly do and say things that they know upset you. Avoid people who expect you to prioritize them but refuse to prioritize you. Avoid people who can’t and won’t apologize sincerely. AVOID. AVOID. AVOID.” Unknown

AND

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it is with themselves.” Unknown

I’ve met some of those people along the way and they are the people problem makers. However, there is another kind of problem making that is much more incendiary and if allowed to, it has the power to drive you insane at times and at other times, you wonder if you’re coming or going. I’m talking about the “what if” scenarios that we are so capable of creating in our minds. The destructive kind.

“What ifs” have the potential to bring you down if used too often. It leads to heightened anxiety, it appears replaying unwanted scenarios in your head and it is known to erode self-confidence and it brings about self-doubt.

“What” and “if” are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life.” Unknown

What if? What if? What if?

“Change your what ifs to even ifs and stop giving power to worry.” Mya Ramirez.

I had a heart-to-heart with someone close yesterday and the conversation centered around all the “what ifs.” What if things go wrong?” What if the outcome is not what I want?” “What if changes are coming?” You guessed it, those questions were all coming from my side. He listened quietly and asked, “Why are you so afraid and WHY are you having all these checkups done? Whatever comes, it comes.” He has this que sera sera attitude about life and whatever comes his way, he lets it roll over like water over a duck’s back. He seems to be living a worry-free life with that attitude of his. I, on the other hand, jump at every problem and let it take me for a ride for as long as it wants to. The end result, total exhaustion and a frazzled mind.

The talk did some good. It made me step back from my doomsday, “What if” scenarios and to take a good hard look at my problem and to come up with some positive solutions. One of those solutions is not to jump the gun. My worries will not change a thing but my efforts at doing what is necessary to minimize the damage may put a positive spin on the whole thing.

“The what-if’s and the should-have’s will eat your brain.” John O’Callaghan

And if by chance the same old question creeps around, this next quote might just help.

“What if I fall?

Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” Unknown

Have an amazing day.