January 2025 – Page 2

TRUST

A series on Getting Back on Track

“There are two reasons why we don’t trust people.

First – we don’t know them.

Second – we know them.” Unknown

The other day someone asked me, “Why can’t you trust me? Today as I walk the route I always take, thoughts run through my mind and this question arises over and over again. ”Why can’t I trust him and especially anyone for that matter?”

Then this quote pops into my mind. I’ve heard it many times before but today as the trust issue resurfaces, it brings new significance to it.

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.” Dhar Mann

It is defined as “having confidence in someone or something” and it means, “I can rely on you to do the right thing.”

Several years ago, I found myself face to face with the horrific dilemma of having placed my trust in the person who had sworn to love and protect me till the end of time and he turned out to be the same person who brought me down to my knees when he took that trust and threw it out the window for a roll in the hay with someone else. It had taken 17 years to build, the foundation was being laid brick by brick but it took only seconds to destroy and the “forever” part well I know that it will take forever to repair.

As I round a bend in the path all is quiet and it is grey and foggy. I realize that it is the perfect stage for where I am right now. Then a small smile crosses my face as I see this quote flash by out of nowhere.

“Don’t ask me to trust you when you’ve given me every reason not to.” Unknown

I don’t think it is about playing detective, trying to find out if you’re telling the truth and keeping tabs on everything you do. It is more about that feeling within, that intuition or call it gut feeling, if you will, that tells me that something is not right here. Pay heed to that gut instinct because it has your best interest at heart. No matter how he professes to love you and even if he stands on his head and declares that he has been faithful to you, take it with a pinch of salt or better still, tell yourself I have “forever” in front of me and time enough for you to show me that I CAN TRUST YOU.

Once I caught my ex in the act of cheating and being the liar he is, I told him, even if I catch you in the act, you will jump up and say, “You didn’t see what you just saw!” Cheaters, well there are plenty of them out there and before placing your trust on a whim or in a moment’s notice, take your time, observe, pay attention to the signs and never, NEVER be pushed into trusting someone simply because they say so.

“Some people aren’t loyal to you, they are loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty.” Unknown

Coming back to the question asked by this friend. ”Why can’t you trust me?” My answer goes like this. ”You know the answer and the truth lies within you.” On this journey I have chosen, I am looking for that needle in the haystack.

“I want to hold your hand at 90 and say, “We made it.” Unknown.

If I may add to that, perhaps only then can I say, “I trust you with my whole heart and you will just have to be patient. We have time enough until then.”

The sun is starting to peek out and today is going to be an amazing day.

I am moving on……

Books I Want to Read?

Nothing really, I don’t read much anymore. I don’t know why because I used to be a bookworm in my younger days. Some days I had my nose so deep in books that I forgot time and place! It was my way of escaping the ordinary and going out into the extraordinary where fantasy and make-believe reigned supreme. It was a beautiful place to be in and I didn’t have to leave my bedroom to do it. I could kiss princes, find true love, visit exotic locations and learn so much from the written word. Those days are gone.

Then I started writing and books took a back seat. Sad, really, because I would love to get back there again, put on my adventurer’s cloak and let imagination take hold and lead me to a fantastic world where everything is possible.

I am not into history and neither am I into things that make me think too much. I love romance and I dabble in politics, well, more than dabble but if I could get back to reading, I would love a love story where the girl gets the guy and they walk off into the sunset forever!

Daily writing prompt

What books do you want to read?

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MUSK

There is something in the air and it is spreading and invading far and wide so much so that it has now moved across the pond and into Europe. It reeks of something unpleasant and it is dangerous if allowed to spread.

Nazism is nothing to sneeze at let alone to make fun of. The man who was criticized for his “Nazi” salute not once but twice during Trump’s inauguration event is now speaking out for the far-right in Germany. The Tesla CEO or rather the “snake oil” salesman as some call him has big ambitions and I think it borders on world domination of the unsavory kind.

Elon Musk did a virtual salute on Saturday to Germany’s far-right party, AfD, saying Germans should “take pride” in German culture and values and “not to lose that in some sort of multiculturism that dilutes everything.” Huh? So, he is advocating monoculturism? It is defined as “the policy or process of supporting, advocating, or allowing the expression of the culture of a single social or ethnic group.” Someone should tell him that there are NO mono-ethnic countries anymore. He added more but who cares!

It is of importance that the man who faced criticism in the U.S. and Europe for his straight arm gesture resembling a Nazi salute is now trying to influence German elections. He went on to say, “I think you (AfD) are really the best hope for Germany.”

This is scary folks because if money, computer expertise and a Nazi salute here and there can manipulate the outcome of an election then Lord help us all!

Ghosting

I’m not talking about the spooky variety that scares the hell out of you but the kind that is mean and done to do damage. I’m talking about “Ghosting” which is prevalent in today’s digital age and which is meant to hurt in a sinister way.

It is defined as “the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.”

Have you experienced this form of communication or rather “no communication” to be more precise? It hurts doesn’t it? The problem is, it was meant to hurt you. It is a heartbreaking reality in today’s world and it has the potential to shatter your self-esteem, grip at your insides and even though it is an act, a non-thinking and cowardly one, the pain is akin to that of the physical variety.

Gentleman’s Rule #10:

If you can’t handle what she brings to the table, or if she’s not the woman for you, leave the table like a gentleman. Don’t ghost, ghosting is for insecure shit-heads. The fact that we have a word for this behavior says more about men, than women.” onefemalecanuck.com

According to some mental professionals, ghosting can be classified as a form of emotional cruelty and it is. It causes emotional distress, sadness, despair, anger and a whole host of other emotions. Ghosting is a sign that the perpetrator of this act has poor communication skills, is immature and disrespectful of your feelings because being “ghosted” can leave an unwanted imprint on the “ghostee” the person being ghosted.

“Ghosting doesn’t work on me, I don’t care if we never speak again.” Unknown

Easier said than done? Here are some tips on how to recover from being ghosted according to drtracyhutchison.com

Realize that no response is a response.

Try not to take it personally.

Use mindfulness and self-compassion to heal.

Set boundaries.

Move on.

If all else fails, do this:

“When someone ghosts you, respect the dead and MOVE ON!” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Favorite Family Traditions

I don’t have many now but there are a few I remember from times past. One of my best memories or traditions that the family enjoyed was Christmas Eve. We usually had a huge tree all lit up and for a young child it was magical. I remember the house was bright with lights and to bolster the mood further, the table was brimming with food. Right before the clock struck midnight, the carollers arrived and they stood in front of the tree and sang Christmas carols. It was one of the best family tradition that I remember.

When I was married, my German in-laws used to come to our place on the 24th and we had a huge meal, sometimes roast rabbit and sometimes goose or duck and all the trimmings that went with it. I cooked the meal and we sat around with my son’s eyes all lit up in anticipation and sometimes we sang Christmas carols but most of the time it was just cosy because the fireplace was on and the place felt warm and full of love. Those days are gone but the memories remain and to my surprise, my ex mother-in-law remembered it too. Not too long ago she said, “I remember how beautiful the house looked at Christmastime.” I guess sometimes beautiful memories remain even though time has come and gone and changed the circumstances.

Daily writing prompt

Write about a few of your favorite family traditions.

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This Friendship Thing

Photo by Vija Rindo Pratama on Pexels.com

“Sometimes you need someone to be there for you. Not to fix the problem or offer advice or do anything in particular, but simply to be there. To show up. To be present with what you’re feeling. To see what you’re going through. To see you, understand you.” Unknown

Can men and women just be friends? This is the question that popped up, “When Harry Met Sally,” and sent some of us scrambling for answers. The answer as far as I’m concerned is that it is next to impossible in most cases.

I used to be the proverbial tomboy in my younger days and as such I had some wonderful friendships with the boys I hung out with. It was nothing sexual but of the innocent variety. I had my pigtails tucked under my cap and my ensemble of shorts and t-shirt had seen better days but I was for all purposes one of the boys.

It all changed when I turned sixteen. I got asked out on my first date. He was cute and I accepted. It was also the first time that I had worn my long hair down leaving it brushed and shiny and I wore a dress for the very first time! Lo and behold, things changed after that. I was no longer “one of the boys” but someone they wanted to dance with and spend time with. However, this friendship thing was still there. I learned that boys and later men make very good friends. There is none of the bitchiness, envy or jealousy, it was just straightforward, “I’m your friend,” stuff and all that it entails.

Later during my university days “friendship” with young men was still going strong. I had lots of men friends and although some were happy to be just a friend, others wanted more and that became complicated and made things difficult.

Now, I’m finding out that men are not as simple as they seem. There is a thing called, “friends with benefits,” and it is not my thing and never has been. I’m seeking the pure friendship variety like I used to know when life was simple and innocence was front and center. The problem is no matter how hard I try to make it clear right from the start it never fails before it starts heading in an unwanted direction. Not too long ago, I had this conversation with a male friend. We’ve known each other for quite some time and we’ve done walks, lunches and dinners but nothing more. Well, just a hug or a peck on the cheek as friends do. Here’s how the conversation went.

Me: Wouldn’t it be nice to have a Pyjama Party? We can watch some movies and just talk?

Him: I would like some snacks.

Me: Sure, I can get that.

I was thinking this is going great. Just some company with no hassles whatsoever!

Him: I don’t think I can do that!

Me: Why not?

Him: I CAN’T!”

Hmm…does everything have to be sexual? He was honest and that was a good thing but I wanted my good old days back and the reality is, those days have flown the coop!

Let me ask you:

“Can men and women ever just be friends?”

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” Ed Cunningham

Have an amazing day.

My Leisure Time Activities

Some days it is doing nothing but it never turns out that way. I always find something to keep me occupied.

I’m working on two books, one is a children’s book and it is in the process of being published. The other which is taking time is a novel and it is a huge undertaking. Writing is sometimes strange. Some days the flow is good and at others it is a stop and go or it comes to a complete standstill for some time. Whatever it is, writing is one of my leisure time activities to free the mind and to get my thoughts down on paper instead of keeping it stored in this thing, I call my mind.

Walking is the other. Being out in nature especially by myself is something I cherish. Winter doesn’t make it easy because most days it is dark, windy or cold and even though I don’t get out in nature everyday, I still make an effort to stay in touch with it. It is one of the nicest ways to relax the mind, to embrace lessons if I open my mind to it and to let go of what I hold inside. I call it, my “zen” time and I usually come back with a smile on my face so what’s not to like?

Daily writing prompt

What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?

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Trump’s Tattoo Phobia!

President Donald J. Trump, has many phobias. He once said he hated shaking hands because of the risk of germs.

“One of the curses of American society is the simple act of shaking hands, and the more successful and famous one becomes the worse this terrible custom seems to get. I happen to be a clean hands freak. I feel much better after I thoroughly wash my hands, which I do as much as possible.”

Hmm….I guess that didn’t seem to matter when he met Stormy Daniels.

The other phobia is a fear of stairs. It is called bathmophobia. Why? I don’t know, ask the experts. He once grabbed Theresa May’s hand when heading towards a ramp and that made news.

The newest phobia seems to hinge on tattoos. Trump sat down with one of his best buddies, Sean Hannity for his first TV interview as president and this is what he had to say about the migrant crisis and certain migrants in particular.

“Who would ask for open borders, with people pouring in. Some of whom, who….I won’t get into it…but you can look at them and you can say ‘could be trouble, could be trouble! There are people coming in with tattoos all over their face. Their entire face is covered in tattoos. Typically, you know, he’s not gonna be the head of the local bank.”

Hmm…..did he forget the Proud Boys and the Oath Keepers? Don’t they have tattoos? Right, I see, they are not considered immigrants and neither are they criminals as far as Trump is concerned. They have been released on Trump’s orders and their sentences have been commuted. However, Henry “Enrique” Tarrio head of the Proud Boys had this to say. “I’m happy that the president’s focusing not on retribution and focusing on success, but I will tell you that I’m not going to play by those rules. They need to pay for what they did.”

What does that mean? You’ll find out when the time is right I guess.

A national emergency has been declared by President Trump saying, “America’s sovereignty is under attack.” He has ordered the deployment of 1,500 troops to the Southern border adding to the 2,000 already there.

One thing’s for sure, there is a flurry of activity in the tattoo parlors. The kind that erases tattoos!

Contrasts

“To me, a rich and satisfying life means one full of contrast. Give me sleep ins. And soft rains. Coffee shops and conversation. But also adrenaline and adventure. And drunken bellows to the stars. I am determined to embrace this extravagant life for all that it has to offer.” Beau Taplin

It wasn’t a great day for a walk, grey clouds were gathering and as promised rain was on the way. What a difference a day makes, weather-wise. Yesterday it was picture perfect, warm and absolutely mesmerizing but today it had turned tables and was ready to show another side, a grey and wet one. There was no beauty to speak off as I trudged nonchalantly through the muddy and leaf-strewn path heading for the forest line. Oh, but I was wrong for I had only to open my mind and my senses to see the contrasts between a beautiful day and a bad one. To my surprise, each had its own brand of beauty if only I wasn’t so quick to pass judgement.

The not so subtle rustling of the leaves caught in the interplay of wind and absolute silence was balm for my anxious soul. I needed peace but somehow it was missing today. Glancing into the forest, I noticed that it was quiet, too quiet. The trees were tight-knit and hidden in shadows of its own making echoing the onslaught of rain that was to come. I usually don’t like walking close to the forest because a feeling of unease usually envelops me and my senses are usually on high alert as it was today. There was no room to relax. I walked on in silence and in the distance, the hoot of an owl could be heard. I welcomed the distraction and made my way to the stream. It’s gorgeous in spring, its banks overflowing with golden daffodils but today it droned on in silence, devoid of color as it made its way to the pond where the storks gather. Today, there was not one stork to be seen. They too had gone hiding from the oncoming force of nature. Standing at the tiny wooden bridge, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It was peaceful but the unease was still there. Enclosed spaces are not my cup of tea and neither are deep dark forests. I moved on, got back on the path and made it to the fields.

My mind began to relax as I took in the wild open spaces before me. I was free again and standing at the bottom of the hill as I took in the panoramic view. It was grandiose even through there was no sun to speak of, only a light purple haze enveloping the distant mountains. It was beautiful just the same. Just a different kind of beautiful.

Contrasts are necessary to show the light and dark aspects of life and today nature decided to show my jaded mind, come rain or sunshine, there is always something beautiful about each aspect if only I would open my mind to it and embrace it with open arms to reap the full benefits. The rest of the walk was uneventful, an ordinary walk but my mind knew that if I kept my eyes peeled, I would capture the extraordinary. It was just a matter of time and if nature was willing to throw it my way. As the first droplets of rain hit the muddy path, I pulled my jacket tighter around me and ran back home leaving nature to do what it does best.

The ebb and flow of life was at work and who was I a mere mortal to question the order of the day or how it was brought about to life. Just accept and enjoy was the message and I bowed my head to its all-knowing wisdom. I was at peace.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY

An Old Town….

It is located two villages away and whenever I go to the new part of town, my eyes always look longingly at the old part.

Let me first tell you about the new part. This is ultra modern lined with shops, restaurants and markets. This is where most people go to get their shopping done and I love market days so I love Tuesdays and Fridays. Anything you want, it’s there and much much more. This is not a quiet place because you have to navigate the masses. However, once in awhile, it is a great place to have a cup of coffee and people watch.

Now, the old part of town. I would like to visit it some day just to take in the atmosphere and the peace that surrounds it. It is lined with cobblestone streets, the homes look old, dilapidated and not in the best of shape. Some are more than a hundred years old. The colors are subdued and when compared to the new part of town, this part has no shops but right across it is an old castle with a beautiful garden surrounding it where you can sit, take a break and just relax and watch the swans go gliding gracefully on the water. One day I will take the time or make the time to go there and take in what it has to offer. Maybe when spring rolls around.

Daily writing prompt

Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.

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