What movies or TV series have I watched more than 5 times? This is easy, I don’t think any. The most I’ve watched something I like is maybe twice.
Two movies come to mind both with Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt in starring roles. The first one was “Meet Joe Black.” I loved this one and both actors did a superb job with their roles. Some may say a boring movie but I found it interesting and it combined both romance and the supernatural so it was spell-binding.
The other was “Legends of the Fall.” Here again, it combined romance and a family’s fight to survive a corrupt system. The scenery was more than beautiful and the underlying issue of love, the forbidden kind was front and center.
I loved both of them but I’ve watched them maybe twice. Five times? I think it takes just two or three times to have something imprinted in your mind and to know every upcoming scene. Five times might be overdoing it just a little.
Daily writing prompt
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
These quotes below hold a lot of truth and wisdom in them. It might help to change your life for the better as it is doing mine.
“I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.”
“When the past calls, let it go to voicemail, believe me, it has nothing new to say.”
“Death isn’t sad. The sad thing is most people don’t live at all.”
“I am always doing things I can’t do. That is how I get to do them.”
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”
Envy and jealousy are two things that rob you of potential because you are too busy looking at someone else when you should be concentrating on your own life.
“It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.”
“The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek.”
“Success is 90% attitude and 1% aptitude.”
“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”
“You don’t deserve a half-hearted love. You don’t deserve someone who can only promise you pieces and not the whole. You don’t deserve someone who’s walking around investing time in other some ones. You don’t deserve a person who can’t commit.” Marisa Donnelly
Have you ever fallen for an emotionally-unavailable man? Have you ever wondered why you’re on a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs and you don’t know if you’re coming or going? If you’re caught up in a never-ending cycle of being taken for a ride, it’s time to get off.
An emotionally unavailable man is typically defined as, “not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of man will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.”
The problem is even though these men are not available, it doesn’t stop them from being out there on the dating scene. They don’t want long-term but pretend that they do. They send out mixed signals and at times it seems like they want “forever” but it is more in their mind than anything else. The message they deliver is a confusing one and just when you think that you’ve found the one, they’ll show you different in a not so nice way. They’re there one minute, ghost you the next or worse still take up with someone else right before your very eyes. This is a relationship where you’re the non-entity and it is all about them.
How do you know if they’re emotionally unavailable? Here are some signs according to Victoria Miretti.
They cannot say they are looking for a long term committed relaitonship.
They don’t court you.
They struggle to have emotional or in depth conversations.
Their words and actions don’t match.
They are inconsistent.
You don’t experience a steady upward progression in the relationship.
I had the unfortunate experience of meeting one such person. He walked in like a hurricane ready to sweep everything away in his path and I was just coming out of a storm. He had all the makings of “the guy.” The relationship if you can call it that took off like a whirlwind but each time we got close, he took 10 steps back. I noticed the hesitation and put it down to fear because I was feeling the same thing. The problem was I was willing to settle for crumbs knowing full well that they were crumbs because I was coming from a place of lack myself. Having just lost a special someone, I was looking for a relationship. It was a perfect meeting of the minds. The only problem, it wasn’t enough and I knew what a good relationship should look like. This one was sorely lacking but I put up with the charade.
“Life is too short for half-hearted connections and meaningless run-throughs.” Unknown
Low-effort men do not invest in you because they can’t. They find it easy to walk away and take up with someone new in a matter of days or more specifically even before the relationship has ended because their emotions don’t run very deep and hurting someone is part and parcel of how they operate. It is a place where nothing affects them because their heart is under lock and key. A no man’s land or rather a no woman’s land as far as they are concerned. So why even be out there? I guess everyone needs love and if you hurt someone along the way what’s the big deal, right? The problem is, it is a big deal to the person who gets hurt in the process.
“Never put them first, if you always come last. Never give your all, if you only get half.” Unknown
If you’ve read my article, “Dating No-Gooders,” you’ll know that they are out there along with all the others that give “dating” a bad name. One false move will get you to where you don’t want to be. If you’re looking for Mr. Right, know that it is a dangerous world out there so step lightly. If he’s unavailable and shows the signs from the get go, leave him alone and move on. Some people cannot love you the way you want to be loved AND you’re too valuable to settle for anything less or for half-hearted connections.
How do you know if he’s emotionally available? According to singleover30.net, here are some signs to look out for.
If a man is present with you when he is with you, that’s a good sign.
This is not always true from my experience. The person I knew was all there when we spent time together and gave me the impression that he wasn’t shying away from anything but he was emotionally unavailable and hence the confusion.
He is comfortable talking about his feelings.
He is willing to talk about the progression of the relationship.
He won’t waste your time with half-hearted promises.
It comes from having lived in Asia for many years and from having traveled around the world. There are many superstitions that people around the world believe in and not of the mundane kind either! A black cat crossing in front of you is said to bring bad luck but the kind I have come across blows that assumption away!
The Asians have this thing about leaving your shoes outside when you go into someone’s house. It is said to bring whatever that has latched on to you into the house! Washing your feet after visiting a graveyard is another one. This is so you don’t bring any spirits into your home. I still do that as a precaution! Or the idea of burning paper money, houses, servants and whatever so that the dead have all of those things in the afterlife may seem bizarre but it is done in certain parts of the world. How about this one? The richer you are, the longer the family and relatives mourn your demise with music, singing, food and whatnots right in front of the coffin to show respect and to show how well to do you are or they are and this is done for a week or longer!
These are just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve picked up plenty along the way. Some say I am very supertitious and maybe I am. Besides washing my feet before coming into the house after a graveyard visit, I throw salt over my shoulder to ward off bad spirits and to bring good luck. I don’t do any cleaning on New Year’s day because you may sweep or vacuum “luck” away! I don’t open an umbrella inside the house because it is said to rain bad luck on you and bad luck happens in threes! There are plenty more but it’s too early in the morning to drum them all up.
I wouldn’t say “supertitious” is my middle name but pretty close!
I would compare myself to a cat. Why? I seem to have an affinity with and for them and I see their qualities reflected back in me.
First of all, I don’t just see them as animals. Chachi, the cat, is my constant companion, my baby, and a confidante of sorts. He is quiet, introspective, independent, loves his alone time and affectionate but on his own terms. Exactly the way I am. He loves working out, yes working out, and joins me when I start my workouts. Nature is his preoccupation and he loves spending time at the big window in the kitchen watching life go by and since he is not an outdoor cat, it’s the best part of his day. We have a connection to nature in that respect.
We love to cuddle and we talk to each other, well I talk and he meows. The little things make us happy and life as we know it is on an even keel and that is how we like it. Hygiene is of the utmost importance, his is to fastidiously clean himself both morning and nights and sometimes in between as well! I ditto that concept. Cleanliness is next to Godliness as they say and cats are incredibly clean creatures.
Finally, we don’t like to be touched unnecessarily. Hands off is my stance and it is the same with him. However, he has a harder time saying no since I pick him up and shower kisses whenever I feel like it and he puts up with it even if at times he shows disdain for this “human” showing affection thing! We are connected in so many ways and we are at peace in each other’s company and sometimes I have this feeling that I used to be a CAT in a former lifetime! Perhaps that’s the connection between us.
Daily writing prompt
Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?
“We explain when someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you do not stoop to their level. Our motto is when they go low, you go high.” Michelle Obama
I loved this quote but it does not always work.
Desmond Tutu said it better.
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”
Bullying is defined as, “behavior directed toward one or more individuals that is meant to insult, demean, or intimidate.” BetterHelp
We saw bullying of the highest order being played out on the world stage by the current occupant of the White House not too long ago. Bullying is and was his weapon to get what he wants. Playing “king” and telling the world how the game is played is his megaphone and he decided to “Huff, Puff and Blow the House Down!” like the Big Bad Wolf in the fable, “The Three Little Pigs.” The wolf did his damnedest but the third pig gave him a run for the money just like Canada is doing right now. Their motto is, “United We Stand, Divided We Fall,” and it seems to be working. Bullies may roar and act like they have the upper hand but when you stand up to them, they run off and hide. However, there are the diehards whose only goal in life is to bring someone down. There are different types of bullying. “Physical bullying is when bullies hurt their targets physically. Verbal bullying is taunting or teasing someone. Psychological bullying is gossiping about or excluding someone and Cyberbullying is when bullies use the internet and social media and say things they might not say in person.” (kidshealth.org)
I met my bully in elementary school. She was tiny, dirty-looking and her clothes were torn and tattered. I held out my hand with a smile and said “Hello.” The next thing I knew I was on the ground writhing in pain. She stood over me grinning as she stood shaking her fist at me, the same one that had caused such severe pain. She put the fear of the devil in me that day and it would go on for weeks to come.
Playing on the grassy slope became a nightmare situation, waiting for the schoolbus after school was more so and going to the bathroom more than a nightmare. I didn’t understand why she was picking on me only that I was no longer safe. I came up with all kinds of excuses to stay home but that didn’t work. A few weeks later I had enough. It was time to do something! She showed up as usual, a knowing smile plastered on her face but I was prepared this time. Just as she reached out to push me down the slope, I turned the table on her. I pushed as hard as I could and watched as she tumbled down the slope. As she stood up, I noticed blood dribbling down her chin and a front tooth was missing! She looked at me with disbelief but there was something more. The next day she showed up on that slope with new found respect on her face. I apologized and it was the start of an unlikely friendship. Her mom had passed away and she was left on her own most days. She also had to help with household chores and even do the cooking at times. A life so different from mine. I still had my childhood before me but hers was hanging in the balance. We remained friends until I moved away but I still think about her sometimes and wonder if she made it in life. I hope she did.
How do you deal with bullies?
Talk to someone about what is going on.
Ignore the bully and walk away.
Walk tall and hold your head high.
Stop being too nice!
Don’t get physical. This worked for me but not always.
Try to talk to the bully.
Practice confidence and fake it if you have to!
Bullies are everywhere as we saw not so long ago and they could come from the highest office in the land as well. It takes more than guts to stand up to a bully. Sometimes it takes cunning and inner strength to weather the storm as Canada is doing right now. Pick and choose your battle carefully, learn what it takes to stand up for your rights and hold your head up high. Confidence is a “bully” buster in more ways than one!
“Confidence is not “They will like me,” confidence is I will be fine if they don’t.” Christina Grimmie
You are not born with confidence, it is a process that gets stronger with time and it is also something that is learned and developed over time. However, it is not easy to build confidence especially if the environment you’re in or the challenges you face is working against you.
It’s a skill set which combines the thoughts we think and the actions we take and in order for it to work to your advantage, you have to believe in yourself and your abilities. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, then it goes without saying that your confidence and self-esteem will take a hit.
If you want to develop confidence, you first have to believe in yourself. Then you have to accept yourself as you are, this includes the good, the bad and the ugly parts. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and get comfortable with both. Now, improve on what you can improve. However, set realistic goals, ones that you can work towards achieving which in turn will boost your confidence.
One important aspect is to surround yourself with positive and supportive people because negative ones will drain your energy and drive you further down that rabbit hole.
“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” Helen Keller
An interesting quote and one that speaks to the heart of the matter. I think it’s 90% how you come across and 10% of the other stuff. If you can fake it by standing up tall, looking people in the eye and making an entrance like, “God sent you!” that’s more than half the battle won right there. Of course, there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. The latter is an overinflated sense of self-importance and “confidence” a healthy belief in yourself. Arrogance leads to outcomes you don’t want especially if you’re trying to build your confidence.
Start by loving yourself flaws and all. So what if you’re not perfect, most of us aren’t. Perfection isn’t everything but building on what you already possess is. A long time ago, I walked into a hall and I saw this stunning girl. She was pure perfection from the top of her head to the very soles of her feet. As I watched her, I realized that she was sorely lacking in one human trait. The smile was missing from her face and she was pure “arrogance” in a stunning package which took away from her attractiveness. So if you’re thinking the “attractive people” have it made, it is not necessarily the truth.
“Every time you catch yourself criticizing yourself, think of something you love about yourself.” Unknown
Confidence is necessary to achieve success. Confident people take risks and push themselves to achieve their goals. Here’s the thing, the more confident you are, the more likely you’re able to attract positive experiences which in turn makes your world a better place. More importantly, confidence helps you to handle failure better because you know that it is an opportunity to learn and grow and not something that is going to destroy your life.
It’s OKAY
To make mistakes.
To have bad days.
To be less than perfect.
To do what’s best for you.
To be yourself. ( Unknown)
Finally, work that confidence! The more you practice and use it, the stronger it gets and smile while you’re doing it!
“Inhale confidence, exhale doubt.” Alex Toussaint
AND
“Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do. and at some point, you will.” Venus Williams
If I had to write a letter to my 100-year-old self, I would say you made it to the impossible! I didn’t think you would make it to such a grand old age and never wanted to but here you are and here goes…..
Dear Self,
First of all, you are looking good in spite of the wrinkles, the bald spot and the toothless grin! The outward appearance doesn’t signify the inside. There is tremendous wisdom within that years of living “life” has instilled. You are no longer afraid and fear has taken a back seat and in its place is a sense of peace, calm and joy. It took a long time getting there but you made it. I see a person who is frail but the frailty is just the appearance and doesn’t speak for the person within.
You lived a life filled with challenges and took each one as it came and mastered it or maybe not mastered it but you did the best you could with it. You never gave up and that my dear 100-year-old self speaks to who you are. You are strong, you are capable and like the tree in the storm you bent when you needed to and you swayed when you needed to but you never broke. If you did break at some point, you put yourself back together again and stood back up stronger and more beautiful than ever. Looking at you I don’t see what age has done to you but I see the beauty within, the strength within and a spirit that refuses to be broken even now.
Here’s to you, may you live a long and peaceful life and if it means another 100 added on than so be it. You can weather whatever comes your way.
“Recognize your own worth and you won’t be drawn to those who don’t see it.” Doe Zantamata
According to medium.com, “Your value is directly linked to your belief. If you treat yourself like garbage, you’ll never appreciate your potential.”
It’s interesting how many of us walk into relationships expecting the other person to validate us in some way. We look to them to make us feel wanted, to feel loved, to feel that we are worthy and to make us feel special. Basically we hand over our power and energy to that person and wait to get reimbursed. When it doesn’t happen, we find ourselves in a dark place and beat ourselves down to a pulp.
The truth is, self-worth is your sense of self, your values and your belief that you are worthy of care, support and compassion. It basically means you value yourself enough to know the boundaries and limits and what you’ll accept and what you won’t. It is that feeling within you that says you are worthy and deserving of the right kind of love and that there is a balance in the relationship. If you’ve been doing the chasing and you’re the only one investing in the relationship with your time, energy and efforts and you are not getting or getting next to nothing in return, then it’s time to reevaluate and to take a good hard look at your self-worth. How much is it worth?
“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor
If your self-worth is lacking, here are some strategies to improve it from the people in the know. (verywellmind.com)
Do things you enjoy and are good at:
These help to reinforce your strengths and abilities and can make you more confident.
Exercise and challenge yourself:
Physical activity is linked to a greater sense of self-worth. It also helps to recalibrate your mindset and offers both physical and mental benefits.
Challenge negative thoughts:
Thoughts are not facts. Next time you have a negative self-thought, think of an alternative realistic thought to replace it.
Be kind to yourself.
Learn to be assertive.
Start saying “no!” I have to learn this one myself.
Focus on the positive.
It is important to have a healthy sense of self-worth because loving, respecting and valuing yourself starts with you. It is the first step towards gaining the same from others.
“Once you discover your true worth, walking away from where you are not valued will become the easiest hard thing you will ever do.” Unknown
If they don’t see you as valuable then don’t try to convince them. Remember the only person you need validation from is you. You are enough as you are, you are worthy, you deserve respect, your well-being matters and so does your emotional health. Work on your self-worth and you’ll start attracting the right kind of people, the kind who will respect your worth.
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.” Unknown
AND
“Know your worth and then make sure to add tax.” Unknown
I love this place about two villages away from where I live. It is about a 30 minute drive to get there but it is well-worth the time and effort and a fantastic place to shop till you drop or just to window-shop. They call it the shopping mile where the “rich” go to spend their money but not all who shop there are rich or have money to blow.
It is a place where they have everything you need and much much more. I love the ambience. The architecture is interesting and there are shops galore. The street is lined on both sides with cafes, restaurants, shops and street musicians who add a musical touch to the whole scene. A great place to spend a morning, afternoon or the whole day if you wanted to. A castle is nestled close by and it is a calming place to just sit and watch the swans go gliding by on the pond.
I used to go crazy over the clothes but since I am no longer a clothes horse it holds no power over me. However, the weekly markets are the best. Everything comes fresh from the farmers and fruits and vegetables of every kind adorn the tables ready to be whisked away! It is a great place to buy something expensive or just to browse, stop at a street side cafe and enjoy watching the people go by. A meal at one of the restaurants is also a great option. My favorite is an Indian restaurant where they serve a pancake filled with savory potatoes. Heavenly is the word for it.
I don’t spend as much money as I used to so shopping sprees are few and far between but when I do, it is of the mundane variety. Just on food items and of course fruits and veggies are on the priority list.
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