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My Favorite Foods

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If I had to break it down, I would say that I love Chinese food without the sugar and the MSG. It is hard to find because most Chinese food do contain added sugar and MSG (although MSG is not the norm nowadays) but sometimes they still do add it to make the food taste great.

There was one restaurant stateside run by a Malaysian couple and it was always full and people were queuing up to get a taste of the most delicious dishes to come out of that restaurant. I was one of those people. I later found out that the secret was in what they added to every dish. It was none other than MSG. It goes by the name “China Salt” in some countries and has been linked to different forms of toxicity. The food was great nonetheless.

I love Indian food. Biryani is at the top of the list and the other flavor profiles are not that bad either. I am in love with Masala Dosa. A pancake stuffed with spicy potatoes. Simple and yet mouth-wateringly delicious. There is one restaurant here that serves this dish, authentic style, meaning it also comes with all the side dishes including a dhal curry. Finger-licking good!

Indonesian food is spicy but they, the Indonesians, have a knack for taking the simplest ingredients and turning it into a feast fit for a king or queen! Egg sambal was one of my favorites and the other, an eggplant dish that was sweet and sour but out of this world!

I stay away from heavy carbs so noodles, pasta, thick sauces and anything that is not good for my health are not on my list of favorite foods. I do eat it now and then or let’s just say once in a blue moon. I’m not a fan of Sushi either, it tastes great but raw fish is not my thing. Pizza belongs to the not so often category. Nothing against the food types or the cuisine, they are just not in my healthy lifestyle way of living and so it is delegated to the sidelines just like cheesecake is for the time being!

I think I am not picky as far as food goes. I’ve tried some stuff that I don’t want to talk about here and though tasty, I wouldn’t do it again! Chinese, Indian, and Indonesian are my favorite picks as far as food goes. Veggies, fruits, proteins mainly fish and grains but I cut back on meat. Meat shows up once a week but I don’t crave it. A healthy lifestyle requires sacrifice but I don’t see it as such. Just a way of living that helps with keeping your body and mind running like a well-oiled machine!

Daily writing prompt

What are your favorite types of foods?

View all responses

Fragments of Yesterday (Archives)

“And then, just like that, my heart broke. My face crumpled, my composure went and I held him tightly and I stopped caring that he could feel the shudder of my sobbing body because grief swamped me. It overwhelmed me and tore at my heart and my stomach and my head and it pulled me under, and I couldn’t bear it. I honestly thought I couldn’t bear it.” Jojo Moyes

That last line held me in its grip and I went along for the ride for as long as it took. “I couldn’t bear it,” was my mantra when the dream splintered into a thousand pieces and lay in fragments at my feet. “This couldn’t be happening to me!” was my other cry but none of that mattered because the end had arrived and there was no going back to what was.

Cheating is one of the most despicable things one human being can do to another. If truth be told, it happens all the time. It has become a norm in this easy come, easy go world of ours. When it happens, you find yourself going under, and in my case I lost my best friend, a long-time life partner I had known and trusted for a long time. The aftermath is hard to describe. I went from a confident woman to someone I didn’t recognize anymore. There was sadness and of course tears but that line, “I couldn’t bear it,” was the slogan that kept me in the hole that someone else had dug for me.

However, let me tell you, YOU are fully capable of bearing it! It may seem like all is lost and you may feel like you’re looking at absolute darkness but I assure you that you’ll find your way into the light as I did. It took courage, strength, forgiving yourself for what wasn’t your fault and to slowly rise again. Rise again you must because you have no other choice! Let me also tell you that you are enough and those “fragments” of a shattered heart will learn to mend itself. You will learn to look at love and life through different glasses and the next time around when love walks in, you will know better.

“Over the years, confusing fragments, lost corners of stories, have a clearer meaning when seen in a new light, a different place.” Michael Ondaatje

I’ve changed from that young and trusting person I used to be. I thought love once yours would remain forever. I gave my trust to a man who had vowed to love me forever, had called me the love of his life and because best friends don’t hurt each other, I had thought we would make it to the very end. Wrong!

However, I can’t change what I want.

“And that was the cause of my heartache. I wanted everything or nothing at all. I’m not impressed by bits, parts, or almost. I’m a seeker of that which is whole, full, and complete. Completely mine or completely not.” Unknown

If that is in the cards for me is left to be seen. Only time will tell. You can overcome the insurmountable and even though you will carry those scars for a lifetime, you are built to survive. You are strong, you are resilient and you are beautiful. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror after it happened. I felt UGLY! It took time to overcome that as well.

Cheating causes emotional turmoil, mental health issues, a trust deficit, low self-esteem and sometimes PTSD-like symptoms. Sounds daunting doesn’t it? IT IS! However, the YOU within is capable of overcoming pain and resilient enough to overcome the challenges that it entails.

“You’re not broken. You’re just becoming. Unfolding slowly – like petals in spring. Give yourself time. ”

AND

“What sticks to memory, often are those odd little fragments that have no beginning and no end….” Tim OBrien

Be kind to yourself, love yourself, build yourself up and learn that those “fragments” which were part of your yesterday can help you towards a better tomorrow. Here’s the thing, YOU CAN BEAR IT!

Have an amazing day.

Walk or Run?

I’m not a jogger. When I was younger, I used to jog but I stopped it because I read somewhere that it was hard on your joints and has a tendency to cause problems later on.

Then I started walking. I realized that I loved walking especially in the early morning hours. When I was 14, the neighborhood kids would meet up at my place and we would go walking, sometimes as long as 3 miles. It didn’t seem that long because we were among friends and with the talking and laughing, it seemed much shorter. After the walk, we would lie on a meadow and watch the sun come up. Wonderful days that I would love to repeat again.

These days, I walk almost every day. When it rains, I put it aside and do something else. However, not a day goes by without some form of activity. Indoors I stick to my workouts which include yoga, fusion, Pilates or whatever is in but it is a daily affair. Coming back to walking, I love nature and whenever I’m out there walking, it not only helps me to stay fit physically, it also helps to clear my mind, gives me a new perspective on things and “problems” do not seem as large when compared against the majesty of nature.

Walking is a beautiful thing and I do it daily, well almost, depending on the weather.

Daily writing prompt

How often do you walk or run?

View all responses

My Book Review

Another Update: I’m not sure how the book is doing! I suppose this is normal? It has several reviews and the rating still stands at 5 stars, however, is it selling? I don’t know. Some stores have limited stocks, some have “sold out” signs and others say, “more on the way.” The publicist is on vacation and I’ll have to wait till she gets back to work to find out more. I did see my book popping up on the screen here this morning and it looked like ads for the book from one of the biggest bookstore here. A good sign? In the meantime, I have nightmares about the book! The other night I jumped out of bed because I was going through 21 reviews, yes 21, and all of them were BAD! It was JUST A NIGHTMARE. I need your help in getting more reviews or ratings on there. So, please get a copy and give me a rating or review and again be KIND!

Update: I got my first 5 star global rating yesterday and I thought it was from one person. I googled it and according to Amazon “A 5-star global rating on Amazon signifies a book has received exceptionally positive feedback from many reviewers, indicating near-perfection or outstanding quality.” Who are these reviewers, that’s what I would like to know! Anyway, it is exciting news. Now, I’m addicted. I need MORE! 😊

I found this interesting and it did put a smile on my face. This is what it said:

Reviews for “The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie” are positive, highlighting the book as a magical, imaginative journey that teaches children the importance of friendship and the excitement of the unknown. Reviewers praise T. J. Mueller’s writing for capturing children’s imaginations and delivering a real message through its colorful characters.

T. J. Mueller creates a world that is both enchanting and relatable, making the story appealing to young audiences.

If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, my new children’s book was published on August 28th and even though I don’t see any reviews at any of the bookstores, it is still too soon, I did come across one that made me sit up and take notice. I like the review and it is exactly what I wanted to get across.

Get a copy and give me a review or rating as well but BE KIND.

MOVE! (Archives)

Movement is needed in all aspects of our lives. Digging in your heels and staying put never works. It might for a short time but never in the long run. When life shows us its idiosyncrasies, human nature is quick to respond and oftentimes we respond by digging in our heels and thumping our nose at it. The problem is the more you dig in your heels, the bleaker life feels, that’s because:

“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Rachel Wolchin

What is the true meaning of life? Many have tried to find a definition but no one knows for sure. One thing is for sure and that is life happens. It doesn’t stand still and it moves faster than we want it to at times.

“Once a wise man was asked, ‘What’s the meaning of life?’ He replied, ‘Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.’

However, to create meaning out of something that is handed to you and you don’t want to face head on is hard, very hard. First thought that comes to mind when I’m faced with ‘hard’ is, I am going to dig in my heels and ignore it for all its worth. Life, on the other hand, is not going to take no for an answer. Adapt or stay where you are and deal with the consequences of your non-action and that could be worse than what it throws your way. If you want to have the upper hand, you’ve got to MOVE!

John Wooden says,

“If we fail to adapt, we fail to move forward.”

Isn’t that the absolute truth? In order to accept and move on, you first have to change your mindset and make a conscious effort to move on. Where? There are no clear-cut answers and that is the scary part. It seems the outcome is all up to you. Putting one foot in front of the other is needed and taking small steps is needed too. Staring at the four walls in front of you and howling at the moon is not going to do it. You need to MOVE!

You need to take what is handed to you, sieve through the pieces and make sense out of it. Say, I can do this and go do whatever it is that needs to be done and do it. This move is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage and unrelenting strength plus trust that it will all turn out well in the end. Sometimes all it takes to climb that insurmountable mountain is attitude. A positive attitude combined with never giving up will get you to the top of the mountain and beyond. MOVE!

Albert Einstein once said:

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

I like this one better.

“Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles M. Schulz

Always remember, you can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you choose to stay in one place and refuse to MOVE! Don’t let life pass you by. Keeping up is what it is all about.

MOVE!

Have an amazing day.

Leadership Qualities

I don’t see myself as a leader anymore as I have stepped back and I am leading a recluse lifestyle currently. My days are my own and I don’t answer to anyone or have to lead a team to success.

I used to be a leader. Working at the university, I had staff who directly reported to me. I think I was a good leader at that time. At least no complaints and the team was motivated and did well.

Later, I was a Fashion Editor and there I had people I could rely on to do the things that needed to get done. Problems of the tech nature were handed over to someone else to handle! Someone who knew what they were doing. I don’t have anyone who can help me with it anymore. Handling tech stuff is now my own thing and it is a headache and a half but I am learning and I also have a student I call on to help me when help is needed.

I would say that I was a good leader and motivator. My diligence at organization, delegating, and troubleshooting helped to keep everything running smoothly. Staff members were basically happy and so I would say that I have good leadership skills. However, now I would turn it down in a heartbeat if it was offered to me on a gold platter! The stress levels were high and bringing calm to chaos was part of the job description. Nothing for me these days. I love my low-key lifestyle and I have enough stress as it is.

Daily writing prompt

Do you see yourself as a leader?

View all responses

PEACE

What is peace? It is not only the absence of war but there is this other kind that is of the utmost importance to some of us. The personal kind where a state of “calmness, inner quiet, and freedom from stress, anxiety, or internal emotional conflict,” reigns supreme. This form of peace is hard to achieve and even when we do find it, it is usually temporary and doesn’t last for long.

I had every intention of embracing peace and tranquility in my life yesterday but it took but one person to smash it to pieces. What happened? It is not important what it was about but it is important that I let that person control how I reacted and responded to what he had to say. I found that the rest of my day was ruined and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get back to where I had started from. One of peace and tranquility.

The following quotes speak to the heart of the matter and on how to find that state of unshakeable peace one that remains regardless of whatever happens around you.

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” Dalai Lama

I let someone else’s insensitivity and utter carelessness shake what I had built piece by piece. Time to take note and do it differently.

“Nature is the purest portal to inner peace.” Angie Weiland-Crosby

I agree totally. Nature is my sanctuary in moments of stress and chaos and it never fails to soothe and to calm my frazzled nerves.

“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” Pema Chodron

I did exactly that yesterday, I let someone else control my emotions.

“Let go of thoughts that don’t make you strong.” Karen Salmanshon

Thoughts like you are not enough, you are not strong enough and you can’t do it! These are all geared to bring you down and make you smaller than you are.

“Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.” Rumi

This is beautiful. Why hold on when you know that it is dead. Let go and move on.

“Be selective with your battles. Sometimes peace is better than being right.” Unknown

Says it all.

“Welcome to your new era where you prioritize your peace over everything.” Unknown

How do you achieve peace?

According to one source, “to achieve peace, practice mindfulness through meditation and focusing on the present, and cultivate positive habits like gratitude, self-care, and by connecting with nature.”

Most of all, stop letting people rattle you because they know they can. Approach a situation with caution and if you sense that your peace of mind is being taken for a ride, LET GO and move on. Don’t forget to shut the door behind you!

Have an amazing day.

Just One Word?!!

Didn’t we have something like this on the Daily Prompt not too long ago? I’m running out of ideas BUT the DP is a challenge so let’s see what I come up with.

One favorite word? I would say it is LOVE. Okay, I’ll admit I haven’t had much luck in the love department, I’m always picking the wrong guys and suffering the consequences. However, I am not giving up on love yet. I think the right kind of love is out there. Not the cheating, lying variety but the kind that demands and gives mutual respect and the “forever” kind, not the here today and gone tomorrow variety either!

Love is necessary in this world of ours. Where would we be without it? A lot worse off than we are now. We need it to thrive, to bolster our self-esteem and we need it to tell us we are worthy, well for some of us anyway. However, I think it is the kind between the sexes that keep us enthralled and makes our hearts skip a beat and it often takes us on roller coaster rides whether we want to or not!

One source says, “love is an important word because it encompasses powerful positive emotions and social bonds that are essential for human well-being, health and fulfillment. Basically, love is something you can’t live without.

Doomed? It depends on how you look at it. It’s a four-letter word that is a powerhouse. One that can make or break your daily existence AND it knows it! So maybe “doomed” but I’m not giving up on it that quickly. Trudging on….

Daily writing prompt

What’s your favorite word?

View all responses

All Fogged Up!

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I woke up this morning all ready to go walking until I looked outside and saw the fog. It was pea soup thick and the fields seemed to be covered in it. Should I? Go walking that is. I decided to do it anyway.

Perhaps I will get a new perspective I thought. So it was on with the shoes, steady ones that could weather the mud that must be surely out there after two days of rain. I wasn’t wrong about that. As I stepped on the fields, they looked somber with just the cawing of the crows for company. This morning, however, they were loud and raucous! I paid them no mind as I kept walking on the familiar path heading towards the apple trees. The mountains were nowhere to be seen. They were hidden behind a thick veil of fog. However, I knew they were there silently watching.

Fall was in the air. The air was crisp and colder than a few days ago. The trees were still green but it was just a matter of time before the colors would show up. Brilliant oranges, deep dark reds and sunshiny yellows, all heralding a new season moving in, one to my liking. I pulled the sweat jacket closer around me as I approached the hill. Then I saw him. He had his trusted dog with him. It looked like a pit bull but I’m not sure. I’m not into dogs.

I had seen him many times before, always alone and always staring. I don’t really know him but I had seen him a long time ago when my son was in kindergarten and I would drop him off. This guy was always sitting in his car and staring. The stare seems to be a part of his DNA. Anyway, we never exchanged words but sometimes I would think, “Creep!”

Recently he has a big smile on his face when he sees me. Why? I don’t know. Last Friday we crossed paths again. He was coming out of the forest line and I was heading home. We stopped at the junction and there it was this huge smile plastered on his face! I heard something click! What? I don’t know. His blue gray eyes were huge and the whites perfectly white. I thought, “Definitely not a druggie and not a drunk either!” He didn’t look that bad, some might even call nice-looking. Dark hair with a beard to boot. Maybe the Ted Bundy type?!! Anyway, we both stopped, stared at each other and then I said, “hello” and skirted around him. What was that about? I don’t know!

There he was again this morning, his dog on the leash and staring in my direction. He didn’t take his eyes off me. As we approached each other, he gave me this “deep” look and then a smile came on like a neon light! I said, “Good morning” and he said the same and we went our separate ways like “two ships passing in the night” or rather in the morning fogged up light!

What was that click I heard? Perhaps, a twig breaking or my overactive imagination playing tricks on me. Why does he keep staring? Anyway, I’m back home and wondering if I would see him again.

Oh well, maybe it was nothing but who knows. Life plays its own choreography and I am but a tiny pawn in the grand scheme of things.

Have an amazing day.

The Hard Things (Archives)

Most of us cringe at the thought of doing the hard things. Be it a break-up, walking away, losing a job and letting go of things that no longer serve us, it is an exceptionally hard thing to do. It is also not something we look forward to because it means taking the bull by the horns and waging war on what seems to be an impossible task at first. Given time, patience, perseverance and a hard-headed look at what needs to be done to get to the other side, we find it is doable but not easy.

Easy is not what life is about. If anything, easy is not in its vocabulary. It seems at times that “living” is about going through the hard stuff. Sometimes one and sometimes a string of unsolvable and often times impossible situations but you and I know that it is those hard times and how you deal with them that brings out the strength in you. Sure, it would be easier if we didn’t have to deal with them but when has that stopped life from throwing it our way?

Where would we be without them? Probably having a great time without having to walk through the minefield of the hard stuff all equipped and designed to bring you down to your knees if you make a false move. There is no right or wrong way of going about it, it is trial and error and an undying resilience to take what is handed to you and to make it work for you. We’ve all made those false moves where we’ve crashed and burned and just when you think there is nothing left to do except to pick up the pieces and make the most of it, there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. There is that open door that beckons because as you know when one door closes, another one opens but it is human nature or at least it is mine to look past it and back at the one that has closed and is no longer available.

“Hard things are hard because there are no easy answers or recipes. They are hard because your emotions are at odds with your logic. They are hard because you don’t know the answer and you cannot ask for help without showing weakness.” Ben Horowitz

The hard stuff has kept me captive for longer than I want to admit. Truth is, I don’t do “HARD” well. Holding on is my nemesis, letting go of things that no longer serve me is harder still and moving on, well that is an impossible task at times. I hold on hoping that changes will come my way but it never does. Things happen for a reason, people are the way they are because they are wired that way and looking and hoping is not going to change things. However, whatever life throws your way, there is a lesson in there somewhere but it is hard to see when it first hits you. I think we fail miserably at times because we walk in circles, bang our heads on that closed door and refuse to move on until we are drained of energy and there is nothing else to do but to walk through that open door. Human nature at its best? I think so.

We are fully capable and have the strength within to meet the hard stuff head on and to tame it if necessary. It is the fear of the unknown in sync with the weakness within that works hand-in-hand to stop us in our tracks, makes us tremble where we stand as we whisper, I can’t. You and I have had our baptism by fire in one form or another, of this I am sure. The hard thing is just one more obstacle to overcome, nothing more, nothing less. We tend to make it more than what it is. Life is a never-ending circle of challenges in the form of “hard things” to overcome. It is mixed in with the good stuff but it is the hard stuff that brings forth the real you. Your strength, your power and most of all your ability to slay it where it stands takes courage, growth and an attitude of never giving up which will put the “hard stuff” in its place. Who knows if shown the door more often than not, it might decide to stay away. We can hope can’t we?

“I see your fear, and it’s big. I also see your courage, and it’s bigger. We can do hard things.” Glennon Doyle

Have an amazing day.