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My Favorite People

I’m not too particular about people I hang out with, however, I like the nice types. Easygoing is my middle name, aside from complicated but that’s another story. I tend to be pretty down-to-earth so I generally get along well with people. The 100 watt smile that I flash every chance I get usually makes for a seamless hanging out option.

However, there are a few people that I think might make very good companions. People who smile a lot, I’m attracted to. I give out free smiles everyday, have always done so, and I think smiles make a person more attractive and approachable. People who place a lot of worth on integrity, punctuality, honesty are next on the list. I also like people who don’t go from zero to 100 in seconds. The “anger monsters” are not my type of people. Let’s see, what else? Gentle, kind, and compassionate people have a certain pull and I tend to gravitate towards them.

Since I consider Chachi, the cat, my people (yes plural) because he is just fun to hang out with and seems to be several people combined into one! I don’t like people who love to irritate or are looking for ways to let their frustrations out and if you’re in the vicinity, it’s fair game. Definitely stay away from such people.

All in all, I tend to be a nice person and easy to get along with. Looking for the same in people I hang out with.

The Last Cry?

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We got dumped on last night and about 10 inches of snow came down! This morning, it was a winter wonderland with the trees wearing white heavily laden with snow. The bamboo tree in my neighbor’s garden is showing just how resilient it is. Come heavy rain, winds, or snow, it bends and moves and sometimes lies dormant until the storm has passed and then stands back up none the worse for wear. We should take some lessons from that.

Luckily I’ve got good neighbors. I was up at 6 and I heard some noise outside. Looking outside, I noticed a lady bundled up with a big snow shovel in hand, hard at work. She not only cleared up her front walkway but went on to clear up mine as well! However, within minutes the snow had done its job of filling up the clear spaces again. Bah humbug! This meant that I would have to bundle up from head to toe and clear it up again. After breakfast, I told myself.

A few minutes later, I heard noises again. Looking outside, I saw another neighbor doing the same thing. He was clearing up the walkway again. This time I told myself, “Maybe I’ll get lucky and I won’t have to go outside.” No such luck! Snow is and was coming down and in big flakes. It seems to be having fun showing us that it is going to stay for awhile. Anyway, I bundled up and went outside. My front steps were covered in snow so that was the first thing I needed to do. After that, I took my small broom and tried clearing the snow. It is no match for those big snow shovels! It did a weak job of clearing the snow away. I decided to bring the big guns in, my supply of salt. Surely, it will do the job of melting the snow? Well, it did only to be covered by the gleeful snow which was now having more “fun” than expected! I gave up.

Back indoors, I looked at the weather forecast and it is predicting snow all day. Let’s add more fuel to the fire, why don’t we. Tomorrow we will have 15 minus here and that is going to be COLD which means the temps will take a dip and freeze what is out there! Could it get any worse? Yes, it could but I’m not going to get into it.

I’m grateful for the the roof over my head, hot coffee and tea to warm my heart and Chachi, the cat, to cuddle with. Oh, one more thing. I’m canceling the car test drive tomorrow. It will have to wait till Monday. Not too bothered about it.

Have a wonderful day.

Time is Flying!

Time is not flying because I am having fun but because I’m caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts, not too good ones either! My son is getting ready to fly the coop and in a week or so, he’ll be headed to parts unknown and I’ll be at my wit’s end trying to keep my sanity intact!

A friend asked me, “Do you remember how it was when you flew the coop? Was it scary? The important thing is you made it, so remember that and know that he’ll be alright.” Easier said than done folks.

I know he has achieved much in his young life including finishing up his studies with a better than average grade. He landed three jobs at the get-go even though he had never worked a day in his life! I couldn’t believe it and now the fourth one is on the horizon. He has managed to carry on with his life all on his own without “mommy” hovering over him. More specifically, he has lived alone for over 4 or 5 years and made it. He SHOULD be able to do this as well, right?

Some parts say of course and it will be a breeze. Other parts, the ones that gather strength and let me play through the repertoire of what could go wrong scenarios are digging in their heels and showing me exactly what could go wrong. Just when I think I’ve got a handle on one thing, they push a few more my way. Walks in nature have helped but when I think I’ve cleared my head and walk back in the door, they are there to meet me head-on!

This is going to be a hard one for me. Letting go has never been easy but this will be especially hard since it feels like I’ll be missing a part of me. Is he ok? Is he safe? IS HE DOING WELL? Unknowns that will require both faith and strength to overcome. I’ve done it so far and I think I will and am able to do what is asked of me. The will is there but the “unwilling parts” need to help me along.

This too shall pass? Hopefully, fingers and toes crossed.

Let It Go

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons to learn in life. Holding on is somehow innately built into the human system and we are wired to hold on when things go wrong. At least, that is the case with me. If only I had the ability to “let go” when I knew that there was no point in holding on. Life would be so much easier right? Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. I am an overthinker, an overachiever and a hold on with a death grip type of person. At times I am well aware that the ship has set sail and is out of sight but I keep looking longingly out to sea hoping it would return and everything would be alright but most times, it never does and still I refuse to let go.

“One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.” Unknown

The hard thing about letting go is the fear factor. The unknown is always scary. We tend to fixate on what was instead of realizing that it is done with, a thing of the past and it’s time to move on. The pieces remain of what once was, be it a lesson learned or pieces to build a future with but only if we stop looking at that closed door and turn towards the one that is open BUT going through it is like leading a horse to water but making it drink is another story altogether.

Shannon Alder says:

“Forget what hurt you but NEVER forget what it taught you.”

If only it was that easy. Speaking from experience and being the proverbial holder on, I know that there were times when I dug in my heels and refused to budge because it was what was behind that closed door that I wanted. It didn’t matter that it was bad for me and it didn’t matter that it was gone, water under the bridge so to speak and still I held on for dear life. I cried a waterfall when I could have saved those tears if only I had taken the first step to go through that open door. Freedom comes in letting go which in turn gives you the ability to fly because nothing is weighing you down anymore. I am learning not to stay in one place too long, to look back and to gather the lessons I have learned and when the time is right to keep moving forward. Life is for living, not just existing and being stuck in one place is an absolute no go. It is in moving forward that you learn the power of letting go, the power of living again.

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” Oprah Winfrey

LET GO!

Have an amazing day.

The Imelda Marcos Syndrome

Yikes! This is a tough one for someone who owns a lot of shoes. I think I can give Imelda Marcos a run for the money! I don’t have a shoe tick but I used to collect shoes and loved looking at them staring back at me safely nesting in their cubbyholes! Recently I did get rid of several pairs simply because I am decluttering and working towards a simpler lifestyle, one that doesn’t involve too many material things and a muddled mind!

However, there is a favorite pair and it doesn’t carry a designer label but it is an old pair of walking shoes that has seen better days but I refuse to give it up because the comfort factor is there even if looks like it has seen the expiry date many times over. It’s the one I reach for when I head out the door to go for a walk and sometimes it is caked with mud but none of that matters. It is like a friend or is that a battery which keeps on giving! So why do I need all those other pairs of shoes? There are no answers just that women are complicated creatures with a mind of our own and it’s just because!

Daily writing prompt

Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.

View all responses

The New Car Headache!

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No, I haven’t got one yet, a new car I mean but I’ve been looking and have narrowed it down to two. One is a SUV with some new-fangled features that do not set well with me but it looks like the one I have now, just a newer model. The other is a sporty, steel blue one that is brand new and doesn’t have all the features I don’t want or need! It is smaller than what I have now, more compact and is supposed to be perfect for city driving. The autobahn is another story altogether! It seems the noise level goes up, the faster you go!

What’s the problem? I am. I’ve been Googling as I do with all things new or things I need to know more about and my fingers are telling me to stop it! The first car, the grey number, looks great on the outside and on the inside. I hate the new features because it means getting used to it and since I hate changes, I’m dragging my heels and they are not about to come loose any time soon! I keep saying, “this is not going to work!” Negative thoughts feed more negativity? Exactly where I’m at with this one.

The steel blue sexy looking car looks like it might work. Even though new, it does not have all the fancy thingamajigs or rather the whatchamacallits that I will have to wrestle with. Looks like it might be easy enough to operate and that is the appealing part. The other thing is that it is a hybrid but according to the guy, I wouldn’t have to do a thing. It charges itself! How? He says, “Don’t worry. Just tank it and it does the rest naturally.” Scary? My feelings exactly!

Anyway, I have to test drive this car on Friday and I am not looking forward to it. The weather might just help because snow is supposed to get here on Thursday and if it stays, I will cancel the appointment and move it to next week. Either way, sooner or later, I will have to come to a decision.

My other thought was to have my current car fixed, fork out almost 2,000 euros to fix one headlight. Unbelievable? Yes, I couldn’t believe it either but it has some fancy lights.

Here’s the other thing. That Google adventure I have been on has given me more information than I wanted to know. I got more negatives than I thought was possible and I’m at the point where I’m thinking both “cars” could be a problem. If you’re thinking that salesman is going to have a problem with me, you’re right. I’ve got 10 questions written up ready to be fielded come Friday! I bet he’ll be happy to see me go, hopefully with the keys to the new car in hand.

Hmm….I don’t know about that. If you think I am complicated where relationships are concerned, it doesn’t get any better with settling for another car either. Blame it on Google! Gone are the days where you walk in like a sheep being led to the slaughter and let the salesperson sweet-talk you into parting with your cash. These days, you are an expert with Google’s help of course!

We’ll see how this turns out. I’ll keep you posted.

Have a great day.

Be Proud of Yourself

Are you proud of yourself? Is it pride you feel when you think of who you are as a person? Have you taken timeout to look at all the accomplishments you’ve achieved or do you beat yourself down with all the negatives, both real and the made-up ones, every chance you get? If you step back and really look at yourself, I’m sure you’ll find many instances where you’ve achieved more than most people. All of those things demanded mammoth strength to overcome and ones that really deserved a pat on your back but you let it pass because you were too busy doing this.

“Instead of wishing you were someone else, be proud of who you are. You never know who was looking at you wishing they were you.” Unknown

No way?!! Believe me, there are plenty of people out there who will gladly step into your shoes and will want to walk a mile in them. People who are worse off than you, ones who haven’t achieved half of what you’ve done and just like you, hoping and wishing they had better shoes to fill. Be proud of yourself. You’ve come a long ways and you can do the impossible if you set your mind to it.

“When you feel insecure or like you don’t measure up, remind yourself of how far you’ve come. And in that moment, you’ll realize you’ve climbed mountains and can overcome anything.” Brittany Burgunder

Oh, but there are too many scars, too much pain, too much inadequacy when compared to someone else. I’ve had more than my share of problems to carry, like a yoke on my shoulders. How can I be proud of myself when “life” keeps pushing me down?

“Be proud of your scars. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you’ve endured. They’re a treasure map to the deep self.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes

That deep self is where you thrive. You see the strength, the courage, the determination to survive and it has brought you to where you are now. Be proud of yourself because you, my friend, are unique. You are beautiful, you are strong and you are capable of handling everything life throws your way. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the insurmountable. Pat yourself on the back even if no one else does and keep moving forward and while you’re doing that remind yourself of this.

“Stop letting other people define you, be yourself and be proud of it.” Unknown

One more for good measure.

“BE SOMEONE YOU WOULD BE PROUD TO KNOW.” Unknown

Have an amazing and beautiful day.

A Gift Like No Other!

This one makes me emotional. As gifts go this gift didn’t cost any money but it went straight to the heart and has stayed there through the years.

I remember my five-year-old son was late coming home from kindergarten. It was a short walk from there to the house but he was about an hour late and needless to say I was climbing walls! I was ready to give him a piece of my mind when he rang the doorbell. A sigh of relief rushed through me but there was anger still there or fear or both. I opened the door ready to let him know that it wasn’t ok when he looked at me with those big innocent eyes of his and handed me something he was holding in his hands. It was a small bouquet of wild flowers and they were crushed and there was no life left to be seen in them! “For you mommy,” he said. “I picked them on the way back from school.” He took the wind right out of my sails and I was left speechless which doesn’t happen often. I hugged him tightly and the smile he wore said it all. He was in love with his mommy and I was the most important person in his life at that point in time. I took those flowers carefully and put them in a small glass of water with tears in my eyes as he watched me with love in his.

It was the start of many more gifts to come. The next one came when he went on a school excursion to a zoo. I had given him some money to get an ice but instead he bought me a necklace. It was the ugliest necklace I had ever seen. Some wooden pieces were strung together and in the midst was a wooden turtle! He made me wear it for days on end and I DID. Even though I had received much more expensive gifts from others, that simple ugly piece still has a warm place in my heart and takes the place of best gift of all time, right up there with those crushed flowers.

The gifts have stopped coming , he is a young man now but once in a while he still surprises me. Sometimes it isn’t about how much money is spent on a gift to make it special, all it takes is thought and caring to show someone how much they mean to you. And those gifts did exactly that.

Daily writing prompt

Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.

View all responses

Spring is in the Air?

“Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.” Doug Larson

I took my usual walk this morning and I was the only one out there with the “conference” of crows for company. There were about 20 of them huddled together in the field trying to keep the cold wind at bay while I approached all bundled up disturbing their peace. They did let out a loud caw as I got too close and took off to somewhere quieter.

We had snow yesterday but it melted as evening rolled around. Nothing new today but the forecast says light snow showers later. The temperature is dipping and can be felt from the biting wind tinged with ice as it picks up speed and touches my nose before it makes its way to where it needs to go. No one around or rather no one brave enough to get out here and meet the weather head-on. I did and I must say it feels refreshing and peaceful to have the place all to myself.

Taking my usual route, I walked to the apple trees and it was a muddy trek. Puddles of water were aplenty and I had to curb my urge to jump in them! The fact that they were tinged with ice stopped me from doing just that. As I approached the apple trees, I could see the small graveyard in the distance. It looked peaceful as it usually does. I’m sure he is at peace now.

Turning back, I took the same path back and decided to go up the hill. Then I saw them and my breath caught in my throat. Two ducks standing together, quiet but eyeing me cautiously. As I approached, they backed up and took off their red-tinged tails and loud quacks signaling that they were none too pleased with the intrusion. Spring on the way? I’m not too sure about that because we have snow in the forecast for Thursday, a 70% chance, so what are the ducks doing here? Perhaps, they are in a rush for spring to get here as I am. On my way back, I saw one rabbit dashing across the fields. Down the hill, two more appeared doing their spring dance! An older guy stood watching them and as I approached he said, “Wonderful sight, isn’t it?” I agreed. Yes, spring is definitely in the air and the silent world is beginning to wake up from its long slumber. I can’t wait!

It was a good walk although the cold is making my nose run. I need another cup of coffee and warmth to pep me up. It’s going to be a good day.

Chachi Talk (Archives)

Chachi, the cat, has been feeling down in the dumps for the last couple of days. His girlfriend, “The Girl from Ipanema” has disappeared and I think he misses her. The village “runaround” has been a no show for over a week so I decided to have a heart to heart or rather human to fur ball talk.

ME: Let’s talk Peaches. Tell me what’s wrong.

CHACHI: Peaches? Cookie Dough? Buttercup? Lovey? Mom, you’ve got to treat me like the “man” I am!

ME: I’m sorry Chachi. I’ll try better.

CHACHI: What kind of name is Chachi anyway? Einstein is a good one and Christopher Columbus even better!

Little Macho was in his element now!

ME: Alright Einstein it is. Suits you well I must say. You’re one smart little cookie!

EINSTEIN: There you go again! Cookie?!! While we’re at it, stop manhandling me! The kisses are a little too much and picking me up every chance you get is a no go either!

ME: I’m sorry. I’ll cut back on the kisses and I’ll try not to pick you up no matter how cute you look!

EINSTEIN: Now, we’re getting somewhere! I like this “talk” thing. One more thing since I’m the only cat, you need to play with me a little more.

ME: I promise I will or at least make time for you.

EINSTEIN: Another important thing. Stop bringing those creeps around! You don’t need them, you’ve got me. I don’t like that “Cheesecake” guy and I don’t like how he looks at you! The last time he was here, I zeroed in on him and I think he got the message!

ME: Anything else?

EINSTEIN: Talking was great. It went well don’t you think?

ME: Glad you think it did.

NOTE TO SELF: You need to reel this little macho in. He’s getting too big for his britches!

Have an amazing day.