Hmm….haven’t really given it that much thought. Peace, financial freedom, free of health issues and a feeling of accomplishment. These are some things that would matter.
I want my son to be on his own two feet by then and I hope and pray that Chachi, the cat, will be by my side. Older but still the feisty macho man that he is. I also hope that I have someone by my side to take walks with and to enjoy the slower pace of life. Not just anyone but someone who looks at me and doesn’t see the wrinkles that time has brought on but the beauty within. I would like to have a bestseller under my belt as well but that is still up in the air. Who knows it might happen and even if it doesn’t, I can say I gave it my best shot.
I just want to have this feeling within that all is well and I can enjoy my life. Nothing spectacular just an easy going feeling to do whatever I want and to feel at ease doing it.
“We have the greatest missiles in the world. We have the greatest submarines in the world. We have the greatest army tanks in the world. We have the greatest weapons in the world. And we’re going to celebrate it.”
And celebrate he did. It was a show of force, Kim Jong Un style. Tanks rolled through the streets of Washington, D.C. and the petulant president got what he wanted. The cost of $45 million didn’t matter and neither did the additional cost of sending 4,000 National Guard members and 700 U.S. marines to Los Angeles to curb protests which is said to be around $134 million and I might add his deport-them-all policy brought about. Add another $16 million to repair damages caused by the tanks rolling though the streets and you have a whopper as far as costs are concerned.
A “Wannabe Dictator” needs and wants unchecked power to do as he pleases but the millions who took to the streets yesterday not in awe of the parade but to show a united front where “kings” are concerned did a mighty fine job of putting a clamp on his power hungry grab.
It’s not enough that he has tanked the economy and has blown up the WTO system of global growth and stability. The man who loves jumping at anything he sees as a money making scheme is off and running to another debacle, one which is more to his liking.
Rumor has it that he wants a military parade for his birthday. Nothing new here, he has been hinting at it ever since he attended one in Paris for Bastille Day in 2017. If it takes place at all, it would fall on his birthday which is Saturday, June 14 and coincidentally it just so happens to be the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army. It is rumored that the Trump administration is “reportedly looking to add a parade that would stretch nearly four miles, from the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, across the Potomac River, into D.C. How about Hegseth leading the charge, bare-chested and flaunting his tattoos and wearing the Amerian flag? Patriotic enough? Let’s not forget Musk doing the Nazi salute and Trump grinning from ear to ear.
The cost of such a parade would be phenomenal but didn’t he say they’ve got 2 billion coming in each day from tariffs alone? Should be enough to cover the cost don’t you think?
Global economies are hanging in the balance and a full-blown Trade War is looming and hissing at the fringes so what’s missing? Let’s add a military parade to the mix why don’t we? One that proclaims America’s might as a superpower with a message that says, “Don’t fool with us!” Remind you of anything?
I had prepared for a peaceful night but it didn’t turn out that way. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. We had a really hot day here yesterday and everything was starting to feel sticky including yours truly. I had my evening shower as usual. donned my BIG t-shirt and was feeling pretty good when I heard Chachi, the cat gagging. It was a low sound but one I had heard many times before.
I waited and listened instead of running out there to see what was wrong. It’s my new way of handling things. I’ve put my “helicopter” away and I’m learning not to jump at everything that comes my way and to offer assistance right away. My two boys, my Chachi and my son, are learning that mom is taking a step back and not jumping at every little thing, but it is a hard thing to do from my end.
Anyway, after a few minutes Chachi walked into the room, his face a little drawn and his “macho pants” nowhere to be seen. He meowed softly and looked at me with a look I didn’t understand. Picking him up and walking out to the landing I noticed a puddle of vomit on the floor. He felt warm to the touch as well but I put it down to the heatwave we’ve been having. Suddenly, he made those weird noises again, jumped out of my arms and threw up again. Alarm bells started going off. I wear many hats but the “mom hat” is one I take very seriously. It was time to get the big guns out, I reached for my iPhone and started Googling! I usually have everything at my fingertips where Google is concerned and sure enough, it told me what to do and then to watch how the situation progresses.
I put out lots of water in case he was dehydrated. I also put out a bowl with some soup, cat soup, for moments like this. He sniffed it and looked at me with a look that said: “Are you kidding me?!! I’m not touching that thing with a ten foot pole!” So that was a no go. Then I realized I had something that would settle an upset stomach. A tube that contained some thick green paste and it helps with gastrointestinal problems as well. Cat stuff again. I gave him some of that and he took it without a struggle. Then he went missing! Finally I found him under the bed. Another clear signal that he wasn’t feeling well according to Google.
After an hour or two, he crawled out and headed straight to his food. He ate the wet stuff but not the soup. Then he went to use the toilet and came back in looking a tad better. I decided it was cuddle time so we cuddled and he went quiet and then the snoring started! I stayed up listening to that sound and the soft heaving of his stomach and kept my fingers crossed that all was well in his world again.
This morning, he woke me up at 5:30 a.m. and was ready to go. Time doesn’t matter in his world, it’s all the same to him. He seems to be none the worse for wear and whatever was bugging him has taken a hike. I hope it stays that way for the rest of the day and “mommy” can get some well-deserved rest!
Frankly, I can’t think of anything old that I use daily. I wear two chains around my neck, a diamond solitaire that was a gift from the friend who passed away and a gold necklace with a heart-shaped diamond pendant. That was a keepsake from my mom. Both are precious and I wear them everyday.
The other thing I do wear more often than not is an old t-shirt that has seen better days. It is faded in places but you can’t beat the comfort factor. It is two sizes too big and I just love it! When the weather warms up, it’s my go to when I need something big and roomy to feel comfortable in. I almost threw it away earlier this year but NOPE, it’s back in the cupboard along with all my other PJs. It was actually a gift from a very good friend who traveled the world and each time he was in a different country, he would send me a t-shirt with that country’s emblem on it. I can’t tell where this one is from because it is too faded to tell! Nevertheless, I wear it all the time and if it wasn’t for winter, I would wear it the whole year round!
What am I going to do if holes show up? A question I’ve been pondering myself. No answers yet but I know there will be a solution when we get to that point. I’ll just say that I HATE parting with things I love!
Daily writing prompt
What’s the oldest thing you own that you still use daily?
“Then came July like three o’clock in the afternoon, hot and listless and miserable.” Allie Ray
Only problem we’re in June now and after weeks of rain, the weather has decided to do the other extreme. We have heatwave warnings on and it is supposed to hit 36 Celsius today! That’s 95 degrees in Fahrenheit.
It is noon right now and the temps are going up. Just took a walk in the garden and the plants are drooping even though I watered them this morning. Chachi, the cat has given up and he is hiding out under the stairs where it is cooler. The living area is nice and cool because it has stone floors but the rooms under the roof are another story altogether! It feels like a sauna up there.
The weather prediction calls for rain tomorrow, however, it is up and down and all over the place as far as the weather is concerned recently. I’m hoping for a cooling off as I’m not a fan of hot weather. Perhaps, tomorrow will bring a reprieve but today it’s going to simmer and dance with heat!
Sweat it out, stay indoors with feet propped up and do what Chachi is doing. The little guy in the fur coat sure knows how to do a number on the weather but since I won’t fit under the stairs, I’ll retreat to the bedroom with a glass of iced tea and a slice of cheesecake!
It is defined as, “the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.”
An empath has the ability to truly understand other people’s feelings, however a narcissist, on the other hand, is only able to show empathy when they feel in control and their self-esteem is enhanced but since they are masters at exploitation, it is more likely they show no empathy at all. Not everyone is capable of being empathetic but that doesn’t mean you are narcissistic, just that it’s hard to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.
“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” Alfred Adler
There are conflicting thoughts on whether empathy is a learned or a genetic trait. Some experts say it is “something we develop over time and in relationship to our social environment while others feel that it is “something we develop through our upbringing and life experiences – it is also partly inherited.” Then again there are those who say that in 95% of people, it is a learned trait like other human traits such as respect, kindness and honesty.
Whatever the case maybe, I feel it is hard to have proper connections if you lack this all important trait. I’ve met many people who totally lacked empathy and they came across as cold and stone-hearted individuals. They let nothing pierce the armor they wore and it was hard to tell if that was part of their DNA or a facade they wore to protect themselves from showing their vulnerable side.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia
Empathy is a lost art these days. In a world where we spend most of our time hooked to our gadgets be it an iPhone, cell phones, computers or social media, feeling with our hearts is next to impossible when everything is done with a swipe of one thing or another. When was the last time you really paid attention to someone close? When was the last time you really looked at a stranger and made eye contact? Or when was the last time you stepped into their shoes to experience what they were going through? Empathy is needed in a world where most things are superficial and going heart-deep is a really difficult thing to do.
This message came through when I met my girlfriend, the one who is never on time, for our usual breakfast meet. This time around it wasn’t centered around small talk, instead we had a heart to heart. She had suffered a stroke two years ago and her face droops on one side. She said, “I wish there is something I can do about it,” in a sad voice. It went straight to my heart. I felt her pain as I listened and let her talk. When she finished, I could see that the “listening” had helped. Her voice sounded lighter.
This is Empathy: Let me hold the door for you. I may have never walked a mile in your shoes, but I can see that your soles are worn and your strength is torn under the weight of a story I have never lived before. So let me hold the door for you. After all you’ve walked through, it’s the least I can do.” Morgan Harper Nichols
LET ME HOLD THE DOOR FOR YOU. Sometimes that is all it takes to walk that journey, to feel what someone is going through and to say, let me hold the door for you.
It’s hard to say since I have so many of them. Beautiful sunsets, walks on the beach in different countries, the birth of my son, the first time he called me mommy and so many more. All hold a special place in my heart and will stay there forever as special or favorite moments. However, there is one moment that has never tarnished and remains as clear as day even after so many years.
It was my first kiss. Did I get your attention? A love story? It was. I was 21 when I got my first kiss. What? Try living a normal life in a very strict Christian family. Mom used to say, “I have eyes at the back of my head and I can see everything you’re up to.” That put the fear of the devil in me, that and the fact that I was saving myself for marriage.
Anyway, he walked into my life and I was a goner! He was tall and handsome with piercing green eyes. Half Algerian and half French. Yes, quite a combination. If that wasn’t enough, he was a pilot, a captain no less. The fact that he was as old as my dad didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. He didn’t see the sign plastered across my forehead either that said, “Saving myself for marriage.” He was a seasoned playboy. The two do not mix. Anyway, the first time I saw him in uniform I held up the, “I am in love!” flag. I didn’t know what it meant only that he was beautiful to look at and he made my breath catch in my throat! Looks mattered back then.
Our first date was fantastic. We had eyes only for each other. Then we took a walk on the beach and with a thousand or a million stars shining above and….wait for it….he kissed me. I felt like I was drowning, dying, flying and everything in between! I was putty in his hands but he sensed something and asked, “Your first kiss? Unbelievable.” It was a long walk back to the car but something was changing within me. It wasn’t just a moment, it was a new beginning. One that I have never forgotten.
What happened to him? We dated but like I said earlier, playboy and an innocent do not mix. I held on to my beliefs and he couldn’t change who he was. We went our separate ways. However, my first kiss was one of my favorite moments of a lifetime. I stayed up there for three days after that kiss. Just flying around in heaven somewhere!
Harper’s Bazaar defines it as, “signs of manipulation and deception. It hurts people’s feelings and gives them trust issues.” According to them, these are major red flags and it has no place in a happy, healthy relationship.
True and you deserve a happy, and healthy relationship. However, many play mind games just for the hell of it because it makes them feel good or just for some sick pleasure. Others have made it part and parcel of their dating existence. How do you spot this wolf in sheep’s clothing? Not easy because they disguise themselves as one of the good guys. They look and come across as harmless but in actuality, they have the potential to hurt you badly through their manipulative tactics.
Here are the tell-tale signs. Actually there are 9 of them according to geediting.com but I think there are more of them.
Inconsistent behavior……this one is like dealing with Jekyll and Hyde. He’s the nice guy one minute and the next you’ll be wondering what changed. It’s NOT YOU! It’s HIM!
Gaslighting..…a technique used to question your own reality, experiences, or perceptions. If you’re constantly doubting or questioning yourself, you might just be a victim of gaslighting.
They never apologize…..this is one significant part of someone playing mind games. Be aware. Instead of apologizing, they deflect blame onto others.
They make you feel guilty….this is one of the tools master manipulators use to shift power in their favor.
They’re hot and cold…..this tactic is known as “love bombing.” This technique will leave you confused and unsure of where you stand and that’s exactly where they want you.
They make you question your worth…..this is a clear sign that someone is playing mind games. It is used to erode your self-esteem making you dependent on them for validation. It’s a form of control.
They withhold affection as punishment….one minute everything’s great and the next they’re not talking to you. It’s a manipulative technique to gain control and hold the upper hand in the relationship. A harsh method used to get whatever they want.
They make you feel like everything’s your fault….even when it isn’t. You’re the bad person and they come out smelling like a rose. Reassess and move on.
They use your insecurities against you….they know your vulnerabilities and they exploit it to gain power and control.
I’ll add silent treatment to the list above. Master manipulators are pros when it comes to using silent treatment to their advantage. It is used as a form of punishment to make you feel unimportant and anxious so that you scramble to make THEM feel important again which means doing anything they want.
“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.” Unknown
Mind games have no place in a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship deserves respect, love, caring AND your well-being matters. If you find yourself going through one of the 9 items listed above over and over again, it’s time to leave the loser behind to his own wiles and move on to someone who will meet you on equal terms and treat you as an equal as well. They’re out there, you just have to weed through the losers to get there but anything is better than a master manipulator.
“Mind games do not make me believe you are mysterious or interesting. Mind games do make me believe you are a waste of my time and energy!” Unknown
AND
“Let’s play kind games instead of mind games.” Unknown
What notable things happened today? Nothing much happens around here and things are usually on an even keel and that is a good thing. I don’t like changes and neither do I like anything unforeseen creeping into the picture.
It was a nice day. A friend came over to help in the garden because the weeds are enjoying their freedom after all the rain we’ve had and their freedom needs to be curbed! So this friend came over dressed in his grubby clothes ready to tackle the stuff that I hate doing. I love the garden but I don’t like doing the work!
He did the mowing, the weeding, trimming of the rose bushes and taking down the big and old barbeque pit. It needed to go. We had lunch at a nice Chinese place, picked up some stuff at the garden center and it was back for more of the same. I decided that the lounger would be nicer out back. It was under the terrace area but now we’ve moved it to the other side of the garden. It is shady there and it is a quiet spot to let my mind wander right under the big old magnolia tree and an old pine tree. A perfect spot to rest and relax so he moved it without complaining!
Later, we had a cup of coffee and CHEESECAKE and after a short conversation, it was time for him to go. He promised to come back and cart away the stones from the pit at another time! Sometimes it’s good to have friends who are willing to do the work without complaining!
If there was anything notable, it would be the fact that he did the work without wanting anything in return. It was always a song and dance about the same stuff and that he only gets a kiss on the cheek and a hug and nothing more. Today, there was none of that. He was actually very nice and we had a few laughs and there was no stress. Other than that, it was for all purposes a day like any other and that folks is a NOTABLE day in my opinion.
“When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.” Mandy Hale
How often have you looked to others for validation, to lift you up, to make you feel important, to give their approval and to make you feel loved? I know I have and I have found myself wallowing in self-pity or even questioning my self-worth as a person. I am learning that loving yourself comes first. YOU are important, what you tell yourself is important. Be kind and gentle here because the way you talk to yourself is important. Work on yourself, it is the key element to get you out of the rut. What rut? The stuck in the mud rut. Your goal is to get you moving to a better life and to feel comfortable with yourself.
Invest in Yourself
This may sound like a new concept because we spend a lot of our energy and money in so many materialistic things but in our rush to please ourselves, we forget the all-important person who is left wanting. Invest in time spent with yourself, this doesn’t take much but dedication. A walk in nature to nurture your soul, meditation to look inwards and find peace, working out to bolster your health or even spend time talking to yourself. If you have the means, pamper yourself. Go for a massage, get a facial, get a manicure or a pedicure, and no it doesn’t mean you are vain. It just means you are putting yourself first and showing love to the person who matters the most and that is YOU.
Invest in your Environment
Your home is your castle? Work to make it that way. Spruce up your garden, plant flowers that give you joy when they bloom and fill your space with color. Redo your living area and or your bedroom and add things to make you feel comfortable. Make it a place you love spending time in and love coming back to but most of all, a place where you can relax and pamper your soul.
Get Rid of the Unwanted
This is hard. If you want to be your own best friend, you need to make space for the important things. Get rid of the things that bog you down, the people who make you question who you are because they are in a bad place in their lives. If their only goal in life is to bring you down to their level of despair, let them go! Sometimes getting rid of the unwanted makes room for what is needed. New friends, love, laughter, joy and peace.
Say this to yourself and mean it.
“You are hands down, my favorite person.” Unknown
Being your own best friend takes time as it is with everything that matters. Be forgiving, speak softly and lovingly to yourself, encourage yourself, love yourself and work towards looking in the mirror and loving the person staring back at you. Be your own validation and life will get easier.
How to be your own best friend:
“Look in the mirror and give yourself a high-five.
Ask yourself often, “how are you feeling?”
Cry when you need to.
Give yourself a hug.
Forgive yourself for going back to old patterns and behaviors.
Encourage yourself with words you would use to encourage a friend.” Unknown
Good luck and I am on the self-same journey. See you on the other side.
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