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This Thing Called Love (4)

We sat across from each other, his gaze direct but hooded and mine trying not to look at the face I knew so well. He looked older, a touch of grey showing at his temples and there is a beard now where there was none before. He is still tall and lanky but a slight pouch is clearly visible. There was a certain sadness emanating from him but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

We talked about the one thing that still binds us. He says, “I’m so proud of him. He’s learning to handle things on his own.” I nod, silence filling the air. Something inside me wanted to scream, “You weren’t there half the time! I was left holding the bag when you took off in search of greener pastures.” Instead, I keep my gaze averted and try desperately to hold on to the strength within. The one I’ve been building brick by brick since he left and I wasn’t about to let his words bring it all down crushing into nothingness. He has that effect on me. Why wouldn’t he? I had been married to him and our life together had lasted 16 years. We had started out as best friends and later when love stepped in, it led to marriage and parenthood. Somewhere along the way, he decided to let it all disintegrate and go up in flames when his EGO decided to step in and he let “arrogance” do the rest.

Staring at me, he asked, “How are you doing?” his voice tinged with concern. And then he said, “I’m not a bad guy.” I felt the tears cloud my eyes but I scrambled to keep my calm facade in place like my life depended on it! I said softly, “I’m fine.” He nodded.

He didn’t know that I had called myself, “damaged goods” when it went down. He didn’t know that I had called myself a bird with clipped wings and that I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror for a long time and neither did he know that the unbearable pain had made me put my heart under lock and key and to throw away the keys! So “I’m fine” doesn’t even begin to address all that I went through.

We continued as two strangers making empty conversation. Once we had talked about everything. Our talks had been filled with warmth, love and laughter but that was a long time ago when “love” meant something and “hurt” was a long ways off.

He uncrossed his long legs looking uncomfortable. We had stopped giving each other the meaningless hugs each time we met. Then he had stopped saying, “I still care about you.” I couldn’t bear hearing it anymore. So it was better this way.

Today, it was all about the boy we had brought into this world. Recently, he has been showing more interest in being a good father and I am thankful. Suddenly, he stood up and stretched as if the stilted conversation between us had drained him. I said, “Take care of him.” He answered softly, “I will.”

I walked him to the door and stepping outside, the fresh air felt good. He turned and looked at me again, his eyes speaking volumes. Something within me wanted to jump over the fence I had placed around myself and to say, “Take care of yourself.” I felt this prickling of sympathy for someone who had lost his way and I wanted him to know, “It was going to be alright.” I couldn’t. Smiling a weak smile, I closed the door behind me.

This thing called love is something I will never understand for as long as I live. I know it has the tendency to turn your world upside down and to take you on a roller coaster ride but “ordinary” it is not. Sometimes it walks in silently and has you in its grip and at other times it dies a sudden death and you don’t know why. They say love makes the world go around, it does, but it is also a conundrum and sometimes it is better left alone but when has that stopped us from approaching it throwing caution to the winds. Some loves are forever, some loves are too hard to bear, some loves break your heart in pieces and some “loves” are better left alone.

Important Things for a Good Life

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” John Lubbock

I had to give this question much thought. Several things came to mind like money, love, safety and others but since I’ve been on this journey of self-discovery, I find that “peace” is at the top of my list. Not that the other things don’t matter, they do but peace is what I’m seeking and it equates to a good life, one that is well-lived.

Nature is my safe zone. Being out there in the fields has taught me many lessons and one of them is that life takes care of itself. Just like the seasons, each one has a time and place and it happens like clockwork and with very little help from the human hand. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that everything happens with no human help, I’m saying that the majority of the work is done by unseen hands.

The quiet space. It has become a daily ritual to search for that quiet space. A space where I can go within and to let my mind and the incessant chattering take a breather and then something else walks in. It is wisdom that I find in those quiet times. I spend a lot of time meditating and it has worked magic in my life. I am more in control of whatever comes my way and fully capable of dealing with whatever needs to be dealt with. So the quiet space is a must in my daily existence.

Workouts – these are an absolute must. I workout seven days a week and when I do take a day off, I feel guilty! I find that giving your body the attention it needs is a must to living a good life.

“Your body will be around a lot longer than that expensive handbag. Invest in yourself.” Unknown

I’ve mentioned some of the things I need to live a good life. Of course, there are many more but not as important as the ones I’ve mentioned.

Daily writing prompt

What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

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LIMITLESS

Photo by Arthur FlyingPenguin Guillemot on Pexels.com

“There is one grand lie – that we are limited. The only limits we have are the limits we believe.” Wayne Dyer

Do you feel smaller than you are or have you made yourself to feel that way? Did one careless word, a disdainful look or one mean retort shrink you down to size? Did you believe those lies willingly? Often, we take those lies thrown in our direction and run with them and we come up with more lies. I am not worthy, I am not enough, I am not equipped to deal with whatever life throws my way and I just can’t! That last one is my mantra. I CAN’T!

YOU ARE LIMITLESS

“The most powerful words in the universe are the words you say to yourself.” Unknown

Be careful of what you say to yourself. Limiting beliefs are just that, they stop you from achieving or moving towards the goals you want to achieve. Words and phrases like, I’m not beautiful, I’m not good enough, I’m not intelligent enough and I’m not worthy enough but perhaps the most damaging is, “I don’t deserve it.” Limiting words stop us in our treks and they stop us from achieving our goals. Be careful of what you tell yourself because YOU ARE LISTENING! Let’s change the narrative and put a positive spin on things.

SAY:

I AM LIMITLESS AND I BELIEVE I AM!

“Your potential is limitless. You are unique, valuable, capable and worthy of the dreams in your heart. Most of all, you have what it takes to transform and transcend whatever challenges you face.” Marie Forleo

YOU, my friend, are limitless. There is a vast limitless potential within you. You have everything within you to soar as high as you want. You have the ability to climb the highest mountain and to make it to the very top. In order to get there, you have to change what you tell yourself because you are made of stronger stuff. YOU can fly if you want to. Change your mindset, do the work and the rest will fall in place.

YOU ARE LIMITLESS!

Have an amazing day.

Chachi, the Cat

That’s who I spend most of my time with. He’s there from the moment I wake up and to the time I go to bed at night. You can say his world revolves around me and mine revolves around him!

He watches me with his green eyes and they don’t waver when he has his attention on me. Sometimes I wonder what is going on in his little head but that’s for him to know and for me to find out. It is love of a different kind and it is akin to that of parent and child. He is my baby in a fur coat and one from another mother. However, all of that doesn’t change how I feel about this little guy. I call him my buddy, my shadow, and my little love. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh and he makes me feel special.

Now, I just need to find a guy who makes me feel that way and my world would be complete! Alas, that is still a big ask and one I am waiting on to see how it all unfolds.

Daily writing prompt

Who do you spend the most time with?

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Beyond Evil! (Update)

UPDATE:

Maxwell Anderson has been found guilty on all counts in the homicide of Sade Robinson. The jury deliberations lasted under an hour. Sentencing date is set for Aug. 15 at 10 a.m.

There are some cases that make you sit up and take notice and this is one of them. The sheer brutality of the crime and the violence perpetuated on an innocent human being is beyond belief but there are monsters that walk the earth and here is one prime example.

Sade Robinson was 19, a criminal justice student and a beautiful girl enjoying being young and all that it entailed which included dating.

Maxwell Anderson was a 34-year-old bartender at the time with a lengthy criminal record which included domestic abuse, drunk driving, and disorderly conduct.

The two met and went on their first date on April 1, 2024. They first went to a restaurant, then to several bars, I lost count, and later to Anderson’s home. Video footage shows the young couple enjoying their time together and nothing seems out of the ordinary. However, in the early morning hours of April 2, 2024, her phone is located leaving Anderson’s home and traveling throughout Milwaukee County. Later that morning, her 2020 Honda Civic is found on fire and a male is seen exiting the vehicle before setting fire to it.

Around 5:30 p.m. the same day reports of someone finding a human leg belonging to a Black woman at Warnimont Park emerges. On April 4, 2024, Anderson is arrested and a search of his home reveals blood in one of the bedrooms and on the walls leading to the basement but it will later reveal that it didn’t belong to the victim. However, the true horror of the crime slowly unfolds. A human foot is found on April 6, 2024 in the city’s north side and it matches the leg found in Cudahy. Human flesh was also found in the area. Several body parts are found the following day. Robinson’s torso and arm are also discovered in another part of Milwaukee County but her head and neck have never been recovered.

The suspect is charged with first-degree intentional homicide, mutilating a corpse, hiding a corpse and arson in the death of Robinson. If found guilty, he faces life in prison. However, he has pleaded not guilty to all counts and is currently in jail on a $5 million bail.

The criminal trial began on May 27, 2025 and is currently underway. In a legal system, “a person accused of a crime is presumed innocent until the prosecution proves their guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.” It is hard not to jump the gun on this one because the evidence being presented is overwhelming and it points to one person and that is Maxwell Anderson as the sole perpetrator of this horrific crime. However, one other question arises. Was Anderson the sole perpetrator or were others involved in this horrific crime which insulted in the loss of life and in such a brutal fashion? Whatever happened that night, it was evil at work and there are no ifs ands or buts about it.

Monsters walk amongst us and sometimes they appear normal until they longer are.

REAL LOVE (Archives)

“The difference between real love and fake love is this. Real love is so quick to resume its original shape after being stretched and expanded always to recover no matter what it endures.

Fake love is brittle, it breaks over even the simplest of things.”

If you are searching for love as I am, it is important to know the difference between the two. Real love takes time to cultivate, it’s not WHAM! BAM! and you’re in love. Some people may believe this is the case or rather they call it love at first sight. I had a few of those in my younger days but now that I’m older and wiser those butterflies in my stomach do not flutter like they used to.

These days I am a critic of the worst kind where love is concerned. If you thought Sherlock Holmes was good, I am better. I tell myself I am looking for true love, the kind that lasts a lifetime so playing detective to the hilt falls into the realm of weeding out the “fakes” to get at that one true love.

Fakes they are aplenty. They come out of the woodwork when you least expect it and in a blink of an eye, they’re in love and want to take it to the next level. The problem is if they winked at you once, they’ll wink twice at someone else. They’re prone to take it way past the winking stage if you know what I mean. They’ll love you so long as it is convenient for them but they’ll just as quickly run off to greener pastures when the opportunity presents itself. Dependable they are not and short-term is the name of the game. They’ll break your heart in a minute and move on without looking back and leave you to hold the remnants of your heart in your hands and you’re left wondering what happened. Don’t bother questioning why? Just know you want better.

The “real” ones don’t come out to play, well not often anyway. They’re the ones with integrity, self-worth, honesty and they stand their ground when it comes to love. They’re not wishy-washy but unfortunately there are not many of them to go around unlike the other kind, they’re a dime a dozen.

Needless to say, I’m holding out for “real” love. If it takes time, so be it. However, universe if you are listening, I ask that you bring him sooner than later, at least before the butterflies are totally dead in my stomach!

I’m not going to say I hope because according to a certain life coach this has a negative connotation and will bring more of the same. I’m going to say, I KNOW it will happen. Fingers crossed!

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

A man was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. “What was that for?” he asked. “That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,” she replied.

“Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on, I bought you those flowers with the winnings,” he explained. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I should have known there was a good explanation.”

Three days later he was watching TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with a frying pan, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, “What was that for?” His wife responded, “Your horse phoned.”

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Scientists recently reported on a research study indicating that beer contains traces of female hormones. To support their theory, they gave 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed their behavior. At the end of the study 100 percent of them talked nonsense and couldn’t drive.

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One morning a conservative business executive came to work wearing an earring in one ear. His coworkers were teasing him when one asked, “When did you start wearing an earring?” He replied, “Since my wife found this one in my car.”

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What do you call a man who has lost 95 percent of his brainpower?

A widower.

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What do marriage and tattoos have in common?

Both seemed like a good idea at the time.

If I had to change my name….

I wouldn’t. I used to think my sister’s name Christine had a nice ring to it but then again, I wanted her hair as well! She had this long and very straight hair and when the sunlight caught it, it would shine beautifully. Mine, on the other hand, was long, wavy and shiny as well but I wanted what I couldn’t have! Human nature at its best!

These days I like my name. I think it suits my persona and it is short and to the point. I was told Tia in Spanish means “aunt” but who cares. I’m stuck with it and wouldn’t change it for the world.

If I had to change my name, I would stand on my head, hold my breath and refuse to do it!

Daily writing prompt

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

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The Musk Hoopla! (Archives)

Looks like the bromance is off! The break up is front and center and the gloves are off! One House Republican went on to say, “He’s a complete joke. He had no idea what the f**k he was doing, whatsoever.” Another lawmaker added, “Nobody really wanted him here. We couldn’t wait to get rid of him.” Musk, on the other hand, had this to say about Trump’s “One Big, Beautiful Bill.” He called it a “disgusting abomination” and called for the firing of “all politicians who betrayed the American people.” The pot calling the kettle black? Little Boy Wonder is out the door and he is not taking it sitting down either!

Trump’s major interview with Elon Musk almost got derailed because of a huge technical problem but it got back on track after a 40 plus minute delay and when it did, the bromance flourished between the former president and the Space X Founder.

The former president felt so safe in Musk’s presence that he went off-script and unleashed at least 20 false claims. He ran the gamut and let loose his falsehoods with Elon Musk giving him his undivided attention. The former Commander in Chief and all around liar gripped about crime rates, inflation, Global warming (of which he knows nothing about) and anything else he saw fit to throw into the mix. It didn’t matter if they were lies or gross exaggerations. Things like that don’t matter to a seasoned pathological liar and a true narcissist.

According to NPR, he told 162 lies and distortions in his news presser at Mar-a-Lago within 1 hour. The NPR team found at least 162 misstatements, exaggerations and outright lies in 64 minutes and that’s more than two a minute. “It’s a stunning number for anyone – and even more problematic for a person running to lead the free world.” They further added that, “what former President Trump did this past Thursday went well beyond the bounds of what most politicians would do.” The Musk interview was no different.

EU’s commissioner for Internal Market, Thierry Breton, cautioned X founder and Tech mogul Musk asking him to censor the interview to avoid “the amplification of harmful content.” He went on to say that Musk “has a legal obligation to comply with the Digital Services Act to fight the spread of misinformation as the man in charge of the platform used by over 300 million people worldwide.”

Musk’s reply went like this. “Take a big step back and literally f**k your own face!” The man is not a novice when faced with censorship. In July, EU charged X for failing to respect its social media laws. He also faced recent criticism for fanning the flames as far-right riots broke out in the UK claiming the perpetrator of the Southport stabbings was Muslim which was an untruth.

How smart is Musk? According to Noam Mendelssohn, a Software Engineer, “Elon Musk is not very bright. He’s an economic and business bully in the same line as Trump, but nothing more. Any engineer worth his salt, any person with basic physics knowledge or computer knowledge can shred his ideas.” He went on to add, “His solar plans are flawed, his calculations on his TED interview are about 100x off, Tesla was not his idea, he strongarmed his way in and his hyperloop idea being even worse.” So how did he make his money? Mendelssohn had this answer. “He has a hype that is believed by simpletons and he is making his money by being a snake oil salesman.” Two peas in a pod? No wonder the bromance took off like a rocket and is till flying around in space somewhere!

Joseph Costello, Harris campaign spokesperson, had this to say about the interview.

“Trump’s entire campaign is in service of people like Elon Musk and himself – self-obsessed rich guys who will sell out the middle class and who cannot run a livestream in the year 2024.”

The interview was a flop in more ways than one. Nothing new, same old lies, exaggerated insults coming from an “old” man who is trying to give his sagging and deflated campaign a helping hand but unfortunately for him, it is going to take more than what he has in that thing he calls a brain to do that!

Helicopter Whirring!

A friend sent me an article yesterday and it irritated me to no end! I felt my hackles rise but honestly, there was some truth to the article and later, much later, I realized that maybe, just maybe I was one of them.

LET’S DEFINE HELICOPTER PARENTING

“A term for parents who hover over their kids, always ready to swoop in and solve every problem. They’re over-attentive and overly fearful of their child’s experiences and challenges.”

GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!

I was and still am overly-protective of the little guy although he is not so little anymore. Divorce and being a single mom threw my world, my regimented world, into one that could only be described as helter-skelter! Trying to find order where there was none was a big problem. Learning to swim again after being thrown in the deep end of the pool was next to impossible and bring “parenting” into such a situation and you’ve got “helicopter parenting” in the making, in my case anyway. I wanted to protect him from the pain, the anger, the confusion, the despair and a whole host of other emotions that I couldn’t control but I could make it easier with the love I showered on him. Bring fear of the unknown into the picture and I was “warrior mom” ready to go up against anyone who so much as sneezed in his direction! However, it didn’t stop me from teaching him what is right and wrong, to stand up for himself, and to be a good and decent human being.

He has been on his own for the last five or six years, studying and taking care of things on his own. I have been there every step of the way but from a distance! It was HARD but I made it somehow. Last year, he finished up with a better than average grade and I couldn’t have been prouder. Then came the tedious task of looking for a job and never having worked a day in his life made it harder still. He took it all in stride and landed two jobs. The first one paid well but involved travel and lots of stress! He opted for the second one at a five-star hotel. He made his choice and he has been working at the hotel for two months now. Just recently, there was an incident involving a guest high on drugs and in possession of a gun! The old me screamed with fear within but I listened as he talked. It turned out that he handled it like a pro!

Early this morning, the phone rang. It was 1:30 a.m. and I knew it couldn’t be anything good. Sure enough, he said, “I’ve locked myself out of the apartment!” I gulped and the old “helicopter mom” would have asked, “How can I help?’ Instead, I let him talk. He explained he had called the building superintendent and he was on the way. Half an hour later, he was back in his apartment.

“I think that instead of helicoptering our kids, we should be strapping some parachutes on their backs made out of things like common sense, kindness, and courage.

Then we should teach them to jump.” Unknown

And be ready to catch them if the parachute fails!

Honestly, I think I did a good job of raising this young man. Sure, there are things I could have done better but he’s on his way and that is all that matters. Next week, he has his second interview after acing the first one. This could be his forever job. Fingers and toes crossed AND I’m leaving the “helicopter” in the cupboard like the friend asked me too!