Site Title

Raincoat Weather

Looks like rain moved in and it had rained last night. I had planned on a long walk this morning but had to think twice about being out there in the fields with the winds picking up speed. I looked for my raincoat that I bought last year but never had a chance to wear and it was just taking up space in my cupboard.

Today, I reached for it. It is a black and white striped number that has sweatshirt material sewn into the hoodie. Nice looking and since I was hell-bent on going for a walk, I slipped it on, paired it with a pair of maroon sweats and grey boots. Piling my long hair on my head and fastening it with a clip, face bare of anything except for a light lip conditioner and I was ready to go.

The wind was blustery as I approached the fields. The indigo-colored clouds seemed to be holding more rain. They were moving in waves across the mountains. Nothing else was moving out there except for the occasional crow flying overhead and the pigeons grazing in the fields. The farmers had done a good job of clearing away the cornfields and the rapeseed plants were down to the roots.

I walked hands shoved into my pockets. It wasn’t cold but the wind was strong and I was glad I had my hair up because the wind was doing a job picking out strands as they whipped around my face. Something about the wind when it pulls and tugs. I like the feel of it brushing against my face. All was quiet today except for the cawing of a lone crow or two. Fall was definitely moving in on silent feet. Soon the leaves will start to turn and then they will fall and gather on the ground. It will be colder and much nicer for walks!

The walk took all of 40 minutes but my mind is clearer, my thoughts are taking shape and I am thankful for a brand new day. I know not what this day will hold and if it will be good or bad. However, I know I am equipped to handle whatever comes my way just as nature is doing.

Have an amazing day.

Know Your Worth!

This is a nice one. I read it somewhere and it made me sit up and take notice because quite often we let our “value” go unnoticed and settle for way less than we are worth.

A father said to his son, “You graduated with honors. Here is a Volkswagen Beetle that I bought many years ago….it is over 50 years old, but before I give it to you, take it to a dealership downtown and ask how much they are offering you.”

The son went to the dealership, came back to his father and said, “They offered me $10,000 because it looks very used.” The father said, “Take it to the pawn shop.”

The son went to the pawn shop, came back and said, “They only offered me $1,000 because they say it is too old.”

Finally, the father asked his son to take the car to a classic car club and show it there. The son took the car to the club, came back and said, “Some people at the club offered me $100,000 because it is a very rare car and sought after among the members.”

The father said to his son, “I wanted you to understand that the right place appreciates you in the right way. If they don’t value you, don’t be angry, it just means you’re in the wrong place. Those who know your value are the ones who truly appreciate you. Never stay in a place where they don’t recognize your value!

Know your worth, know your value and if you are not appreciated, LEAVE The right person will know your worth and will appreciate you for who you are.

Have an amazing day.

Loosen Up!

A girlfriend said to me recently, “You need to loosen up! Unbutton a few buttons on that blouse of yours and show a little skin if you want to have some fun! That’s exactly where your problem lies.”

Uptight? Perhaps, she is right. However, the lady is no saint! This bit of advice needs to be taken with a pinch or two of salt! However, I do think that she has something there. I wish I had learned not to be a stick in the mud much earlier. I’ve been called many names but the one that stands out is “stick in the mud” although others call me “complicated” as well.

I think I am both. I am prim and proper, I don’t drink, smoke or do any of the other stuff that “fun” is equated with. Life was made difficult by sticking to those rigid rules. Do I regret them? Not really but it could have been easier I guess if I had learned to let go just a little. Letting go was one lesson that took the wind out of my sails. If I had not been so stubborn and had loosened up when it was needed, I guess the letting go part would have been easier.

My message to those of you who hold on to your principles and think there is no other way, try loosening up just a little. I learned many painful lessons being the way I am and I tell myself it is okay BUT sometimes I wonder if life and the lessons I had to learn could have been a tad easier. Perhaps…..

Daily writing prompt

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

View all responses

Mandy Hale Quotes (Archives)

Mandy Hale is a blogger turned New York Times bestselling author and speaker. She is also the creator of the Social Media movement, “The Single Woman.” Mandy has made a name for herself by empowering women with her quotes that speak to the heart of the matter. However, the self-help relationship guru remarried her toxic/narcissist ex who broke her heart many times over. She has written many books and articles about the emotional abuse and betrayals she suffered in that relationship. So WHY go back to him? Nobody knows for sure but ‘love’ does work in mysterious ways and sometimes to the detriment of ‘SELF’ and all that matters! It doesn’t change the power her quotes have to change your mindset. Here are some of them to get your day started.

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake to help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”

“Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.”

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens.”

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

“Sometimes you have to move on without certain people. If they’re meant to be in your life, they’ll catch up.”

“You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Shine on, and dare anyone to turn off your lights.”

“Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is BRAVE, even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.”

“Just be yourself. Let people see the real imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are.”

“Learn to be alone and to like it. There is nothing more freeing and empowering than learning to like your own company.”

My favorite:

You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. (This is a hard one for me.) Dance as though everybody is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.

YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

Have an amazing day!

My Favorite Foods

Photo by Kavya Pothabattula on Pexels.com

If I had to break it down, I would say that I love Chinese food without the sugar and the MSG. It is hard to find because most Chinese food do contain added sugar and MSG (although MSG is not the norm nowadays) but sometimes they still do add it to make the food taste great.

There was one restaurant stateside run by a Malaysian couple and it was always full and people were queuing up to get a taste of the most delicious dishes to come out of that restaurant. I was one of those people. I later found out that the secret was in what they added to every dish. It was none other than MSG. It goes by the name “China Salt” in some countries and has been linked to different forms of toxicity. The food was great nonetheless.

I love Indian food. Biryani is at the top of the list and the other flavor profiles are not that bad either. I am in love with Masala Dosa. A pancake stuffed with spicy potatoes. Simple and yet mouth-wateringly delicious. There is one restaurant here that serves this dish, authentic style, meaning it also comes with all the side dishes including a dhal curry. Finger-licking good!

Indonesian food is spicy but they, the Indonesians, have a knack for taking the simplest ingredients and turning it into a feast fit for a king or queen! Egg sambal was one of my favorites and the other, an eggplant dish that was sweet and sour but out of this world!

I stay away from heavy carbs so noodles, pasta, thick sauces and anything that is not good for my health are not on my list of favorite foods. I do eat it now and then or let’s just say once in a blue moon. I’m not a fan of Sushi either, it tastes great but raw fish is not my thing. Pizza belongs to the not so often category. Nothing against the food types or the cuisine, they are just not in my healthy lifestyle way of living and so it is delegated to the sidelines just like cheesecake is for the time being!

I think I am not picky as far as food goes. I’ve tried some stuff that I don’t want to talk about here and though tasty, I wouldn’t do it again! Chinese, Indian, and Indonesian are my favorite picks as far as food goes. Veggies, fruits, proteins mainly fish and grains but I cut back on meat. Meat shows up once a week but I don’t crave it. A healthy lifestyle requires sacrifice but I don’t see it as such. Just a way of living that helps with keeping your body and mind running like a well-oiled machine!

Daily writing prompt

What are your favorite types of foods?

View all responses

Fragments of Yesterday (Archives)

“And then, just like that, my heart broke. My face crumpled, my composure went and I held him tightly and I stopped caring that he could feel the shudder of my sobbing body because grief swamped me. It overwhelmed me and tore at my heart and my stomach and my head and it pulled me under, and I couldn’t bear it. I honestly thought I couldn’t bear it.” Jojo Moyes

That last line held me in its grip and I went along for the ride for as long as it took. “I couldn’t bear it,” was my mantra when the dream splintered into a thousand pieces and lay in fragments at my feet. “This couldn’t be happening to me!” was my other cry but none of that mattered because the end had arrived and there was no going back to what was.

Cheating is one of the most despicable things one human being can do to another. If truth be told, it happens all the time. It has become a norm in this easy come, easy go world of ours. When it happens, you find yourself going under, and in my case I lost my best friend, a long-time life partner I had known and trusted for a long time. The aftermath is hard to describe. I went from a confident woman to someone I didn’t recognize anymore. There was sadness and of course tears but that line, “I couldn’t bear it,” was the slogan that kept me in the hole that someone else had dug for me.

However, let me tell you, YOU are fully capable of bearing it! It may seem like all is lost and you may feel like you’re looking at absolute darkness but I assure you that you’ll find your way into the light as I did. It took courage, strength, forgiving yourself for what wasn’t your fault and to slowly rise again. Rise again you must because you have no other choice! Let me also tell you that you are enough and those “fragments” of a shattered heart will learn to mend itself. You will learn to look at love and life through different glasses and the next time around when love walks in, you will know better.

“Over the years, confusing fragments, lost corners of stories, have a clearer meaning when seen in a new light, a different place.” Michael Ondaatje

I’ve changed from that young and trusting person I used to be. I thought love once yours would remain forever. I gave my trust to a man who had vowed to love me forever, had called me the love of his life and because best friends don’t hurt each other, I had thought we would make it to the very end. Wrong!

However, I can’t change what I want.

“And that was the cause of my heartache. I wanted everything or nothing at all. I’m not impressed by bits, parts, or almost. I’m a seeker of that which is whole, full, and complete. Completely mine or completely not.” Unknown

If that is in the cards for me is left to be seen. Only time will tell. You can overcome the insurmountable and even though you will carry those scars for a lifetime, you are built to survive. You are strong, you are resilient and you are beautiful. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror after it happened. I felt UGLY! It took time to overcome that as well.

Cheating causes emotional turmoil, mental health issues, a trust deficit, low self-esteem and sometimes PTSD-like symptoms. Sounds daunting doesn’t it? IT IS! However, the YOU within is capable of overcoming pain and resilient enough to overcome the challenges that it entails.

“You’re not broken. You’re just becoming. Unfolding slowly – like petals in spring. Give yourself time. ”

AND

“What sticks to memory, often are those odd little fragments that have no beginning and no end….” Tim OBrien

Be kind to yourself, love yourself, build yourself up and learn that those “fragments” which were part of your yesterday can help you towards a better tomorrow. Here’s the thing, YOU CAN BEAR IT!

Have an amazing day.

Walk or Run?

I’m not a jogger. When I was younger, I used to jog but I stopped it because I read somewhere that it was hard on your joints and has a tendency to cause problems later on.

Then I started walking. I realized that I loved walking especially in the early morning hours. When I was 14, the neighborhood kids would meet up at my place and we would go walking, sometimes as long as 3 miles. It didn’t seem that long because we were among friends and with the talking and laughing, it seemed much shorter. After the walk, we would lie on a meadow and watch the sun come up. Wonderful days that I would love to repeat again.

These days, I walk almost every day. When it rains, I put it aside and do something else. However, not a day goes by without some form of activity. Indoors I stick to my workouts which include yoga, fusion, Pilates or whatever is in but it is a daily affair. Coming back to walking, I love nature and whenever I’m out there walking, it not only helps me to stay fit physically, it also helps to clear my mind, gives me a new perspective on things and “problems” do not seem as large when compared against the majesty of nature.

Walking is a beautiful thing and I do it daily, well almost, depending on the weather.

Daily writing prompt

How often do you walk or run?

View all responses

My Book Review

Another Update: I’m not sure how the book is doing! I suppose this is normal? It has several reviews and the rating still stands at 5 stars, however, is it selling? I don’t know. Some stores have limited stocks, some have “sold out” signs and others say, “more on the way.” The publicist is on vacation and I’ll have to wait till she gets back to work to find out more. I did see my book popping up on the screen here this morning and it looked like ads for the book from one of the biggest bookstore here. A good sign? In the meantime, I have nightmares about the book! The other night I jumped out of bed because I was going through 21 reviews, yes 21, and all of them were BAD! It was JUST A NIGHTMARE. I need your help in getting more reviews or ratings on there. So, please get a copy and give me a rating or review and again be KIND!

Update: I got my first 5 star global rating yesterday and I thought it was from one person. I googled it and according to Amazon “A 5-star global rating on Amazon signifies a book has received exceptionally positive feedback from many reviewers, indicating near-perfection or outstanding quality.” Who are these reviewers, that’s what I would like to know! Anyway, it is exciting news. Now, I’m addicted. I need MORE! 😊

I found this interesting and it did put a smile on my face. This is what it said:

Reviews for “The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie” are positive, highlighting the book as a magical, imaginative journey that teaches children the importance of friendship and the excitement of the unknown. Reviewers praise T. J. Mueller’s writing for capturing children’s imaginations and delivering a real message through its colorful characters.

T. J. Mueller creates a world that is both enchanting and relatable, making the story appealing to young audiences.

If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, my new children’s book was published on August 28th and even though I don’t see any reviews at any of the bookstores, it is still too soon, I did come across one that made me sit up and take notice. I like the review and it is exactly what I wanted to get across.

Get a copy and give me a review or rating as well but BE KIND.

MOVE! (Archives)

Movement is needed in all aspects of our lives. Digging in your heels and staying put never works. It might for a short time but never in the long run. When life shows us its idiosyncrasies, human nature is quick to respond and oftentimes we respond by digging in our heels and thumping our nose at it. The problem is the more you dig in your heels, the bleaker life feels, that’s because:

“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Rachel Wolchin

What is the true meaning of life? Many have tried to find a definition but no one knows for sure. One thing is for sure and that is life happens. It doesn’t stand still and it moves faster than we want it to at times.

“Once a wise man was asked, ‘What’s the meaning of life?’ He replied, ‘Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.’

However, to create meaning out of something that is handed to you and you don’t want to face head on is hard, very hard. First thought that comes to mind when I’m faced with ‘hard’ is, I am going to dig in my heels and ignore it for all its worth. Life, on the other hand, is not going to take no for an answer. Adapt or stay where you are and deal with the consequences of your non-action and that could be worse than what it throws your way. If you want to have the upper hand, you’ve got to MOVE!

John Wooden says,

“If we fail to adapt, we fail to move forward.”

Isn’t that the absolute truth? In order to accept and move on, you first have to change your mindset and make a conscious effort to move on. Where? There are no clear-cut answers and that is the scary part. It seems the outcome is all up to you. Putting one foot in front of the other is needed and taking small steps is needed too. Staring at the four walls in front of you and howling at the moon is not going to do it. You need to MOVE!

You need to take what is handed to you, sieve through the pieces and make sense out of it. Say, I can do this and go do whatever it is that needs to be done and do it. This move is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage and unrelenting strength plus trust that it will all turn out well in the end. Sometimes all it takes to climb that insurmountable mountain is attitude. A positive attitude combined with never giving up will get you to the top of the mountain and beyond. MOVE!

Albert Einstein once said:

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

I like this one better.

“Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles M. Schulz

Always remember, you can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you choose to stay in one place and refuse to MOVE! Don’t let life pass you by. Keeping up is what it is all about.

MOVE!

Have an amazing day.

Leadership Qualities

I don’t see myself as a leader anymore as I have stepped back and I am leading a recluse lifestyle currently. My days are my own and I don’t answer to anyone or have to lead a team to success.

I used to be a leader. Working at the university, I had staff who directly reported to me. I think I was a good leader at that time. At least no complaints and the team was motivated and did well.

Later, I was a Fashion Editor and there I had people I could rely on to do the things that needed to get done. Problems of the tech nature were handed over to someone else to handle! Someone who knew what they were doing. I don’t have anyone who can help me with it anymore. Handling tech stuff is now my own thing and it is a headache and a half but I am learning and I also have a student I call on to help me when help is needed.

I would say that I was a good leader and motivator. My diligence at organization, delegating, and troubleshooting helped to keep everything running smoothly. Staff members were basically happy and so I would say that I have good leadership skills. However, now I would turn it down in a heartbeat if it was offered to me on a gold platter! The stress levels were high and bringing calm to chaos was part of the job description. Nothing for me these days. I love my low-key lifestyle and I have enough stress as it is.

Daily writing prompt

Do you see yourself as a leader?

View all responses