I would try adding inclusivity programs. The village is old and the people mostly set in their ways. They view all newcomers with suspicion. Most of them grew up here and have never left home. It is not only a village that embraces old worldviews and ideals but it is also steeped in tradition. Sometimes I think it is a village that time forgot, the old cobblestone streets hold secrets and a rich history is part and parcel of its makeup. The outside world is frightening and they view everyone who comes in from somewhere else with suspicion first and so people who dare to come in here have a hard time integrating and no matter how hard they try, it is a losing battle.
When I first came here, I was met with the same. However, it took learning the language and a smile each time I came across resistance to break through that wall. It is home to me now and the people see me as one of them but others are not so lucky. So I would start some kind of grassroots program bringing people together, a safe zone where they can learn about each other, experience the different kind of foods offered and try to break down that wall! The village is close-knit so it won’t be easy but where there is a will, there is a way as they say.
Zig Ziglar called it the healthiest of all human emotions and it is one that is often overlooked in our day to day existence of what we call “living.” It is unpretentious, it takes its place quietly in the ranks of emotions and waits to be recognized like a step child who is often left wanting. More often than not we walk past without giving it the recognition it deserves.
“Gratitude helps you see what’s there instead of what isn’t.” Unknown
What is gratitude?
Simply put and according to graygroupintl.com, “It is a deep sense of appreciation for the good things in our lives, both big and small. It is about recognizing the positive aspects and expressing gratitude for them. When we practice gratitude, it not only benefits our mental health but also our physical well-being.”
If it is that important, why hasn’t this poster-child for good mental health been given more attention and accolades?
Perhaps, it is because as humans we have a tendency to overlook the “good stuff” and we tend to focus on the lack thereof and all the negatives it entails. If only I had this, then life would be so much better is the mantra we wear with pride and have hone it to an art form that we are blinded to the abundance that surrounds us.
“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.” Rumi
Practice it daily and it will turn your life around. I still haven’t grasped this concept of being grateful but I am working on it.
How do you practice gratitude? According to mindful.org, the people in the know, it starts like this and if you do it regularly, “it is a game-changer; it has far reaching effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others. Living your life with gratitude helps you notice the little wins— and over time strengthens your ability to notice the good.”
Start by observing. Notice the thank yous you say.
Keep a journal of all that you are grateful for and believe me there is plenty to be thankful for.
Make a vow to be grateful everyday.
Meditate – anchor yourself to the good things in your life. Be mindful and live in the present.
The day before was a tough day. Things just didn’t go the way I wanted it to and so my focus was on all the bad stuff which in turn helped me to go further down the rabbit hole. At the end of the day I decided that today would be better. The gratitude part didn’t come till later. I went ahead and booked a massage and as I was lying on the table, face down and staring into nothingness, listening to the soothing music in the background, a small voice said, “Say thank you.” I did and I repeated it several times just in case it didn’t hear me the first me! As the masseuse applied gentle strokes to my back, I realized that I was surrounded with and by abundance.
I slowly started counted off the things I was grateful for and the list was never-ending. The gorgeous day, the blue skies, my friends, the people who cared about my existence and last but not least the wonderful massage that helped to soothe my frazzled nerves. It was a game-changer. I walked out of there with a smile on my face, my woes forgotten for the moment at least and well-prepared for the day ahead.
If you can’t afford a massage even the simplest of things will do it. Go for a walk, pay attention to the sights and sounds, things that help to lift up your soul. It could be as simple as taking in a deep breath, or watching a bird in flight or a tree in bloom, its colors mesmerizing and the scent wafting by better than any artificially manufactured perfume but most of all say, “THANK YOU.” Be grateful for the abundance surrounding you, the roof over your head, the food, nature and all the little and big things that help to make up your life and soon the glass will no longer be half empty but overflowing. A friend said to me, “you need to do what you preach,” and he is right. Thank you friend for being my friend!
Practicing gratefulness is helping to turn things around in my life. It doesn’t come easily but the more I say thank you and appreciate what is around me, the less I see the negatives not that they aren’t there mind you, but to a lesser extent. This too takes time.
“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” Tony Robbins
It came out of nowhere and kept us captive for a long long time. Things changed and life was all about that mask and those tests. I hated it but it was needed at the time.
I don’t remember much except that people were distrustful of each other and staying home was warranted. Life was a blur because I was going through something else. Something very emotional. A close friend was in the last stages of life and I remember how difficult it was to see him in the hospital. Hospital visits were not allowed. He was in ICU and I wasn’t allowed to visit. When he came out of it, visitations could only be made after a Covid test was done and you were pronounced Covid-free. I remember how frustrated I used to get about all the extra time needed to just make a hospital visit. This went on for several weeks and it drained me of energy.
Adapting to something that came out of nowhere and made the world pay attention required a certain mindset. It needed strength, resilience and a narrow-minded focus but I think more than that it required working together to beat this disease caused by the SARS-CoV-2 virus. Mistrust was rife and a cough in the supermarket sent many running for cover, well, perhaps not running but they certainly kept their distance! Learning to cope within four walls was difficult for some but I mastered it like a champ. These days I am grateful when I walk into crowded spaces and don’t have to reach for my mask!
Daily writing prompt
How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?
Dedicated to someone who was very dear and near to me. You’ve moved on but the memories of a spirit that was kind and loving still remains. Fly high wherever you are and I know that you are in a better place. I do miss you especially when I take my walks alone. Sometimes I feel your presence and sometimes I talk to you. I’m sure you are giving heaven a run for the money!
“When you see how fragile and delicate life can be, all else fades into the background.” Jenna Morasca
I got a call from a friend yesterday. She told me that she had been in the hospital for a week. All is well with her but it was a scary experience. It brought home the fact that life in all its beauty is still as fragile as can be.
A year and a half ago, I lost someone very close to me. We never thought that life with all its idiosyncrasies would throw a curveball. One so large and unexpected that when all was said and done, only one of us would be left standing to carry on.
The walk in the snow-covered world was exhilarating. Everything was covered in white and the trees looked like pictures out of a postcard. It also brought back times when we had taken those walks together. The times when snowball fights and laughter reigned supreme. Little did we know then that life as we knew it was about to change forever.
“You never think the last time is the last time. You think that there will be more. You think you have forever. But then life can quickly remind you, you don’t” Grey’s Anatomy
What if we knew that life was short? What then? Would we try to cram as much living as we can into today? Perhaps knowing just how fragile life is should make us stop and take notice, to stop procrastinating and to do and say the things we need to say before it is too late. I wish I had.
Today as I approach the top of the hill, I remember that snow-filled day as you said, “I want a selfie with the both of us in it.” We were laughing in the picture. Now I realize that there will be no more pictures, no more memories to be made and no more laughter to be shared. You’ve gone on a different journey.
I’ve said many things to you since you’ve been gone. Nothing seems enough, perhaps one day it will be and memories of you will fade and I will be at peace. Here are more of the same, more of what I wished I had said when you were here.
Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for all the times we shared. Thank you for showing me just how much love you could squeeze into that little amount of time. Thank you for showing me that I was an important part of your life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Life is fragile. All it takes is one wrong move, one unexpected turn of events and like a candle in the wind, it can be snuffed out never to be relit again. Forever is not in its vocabulary and neither is invincible. Knowing that we should make time for the important things in life, free up space by letting go of the unimportant ones and take the time to say and do the things you need to do before it is too late.
I walked out the front door this morning and all seemed calm and beautiful. The sun was shining and the tulips are getting ready to bloom. It was a peaceful world until I turned my head to the right and there lying on the ground was something small and pink. Thinking it was a chewing gum wrapper that some kid had thrown, not caring where it landed, I bent to get a closer look and YIKES!
It was a baby mouse, pink and grey with a sweet little pink nose. It wasn’t moving and it hadn’t been torn to shreds by a marauding cat in the dead of night either. My mind started churning. What do I do now? My first thought, “I’m not touching it!” However, I also knew that I had to do something. Rotting on the ground where it lay was a no go and calling someone to help get rid of the poor thing was a no go either.
Walking back into the house lost in thought, I came across Chachi, the cat, watching me intuitively. Little Einstein knew something was up. I also knew that if I let him out there, he would take care of the problem or he might just pick it up and bring it into the house, lay it at my feet as a small gift from him to me. YIKES!
Walking into the kitchen with my mind made up, I picked up two plastic bags. One for picking up the little creature and the other to secure him and then to put it in the garbage can. The predicament. I didn’t want to feel his lifeless body beneath my plastic covered hand. There was no getting out of it, it had to be done. “Tia, you can do this!” I told myself. My mind made up, I scooped him up and closing my eyes I put him in the plastic bag and secured the top. Mission accomplished? Not quite. I quickly ran into the kitchen turned the water on, lathered my hands with soap and scrubbed several times before rinsing off. I can still feel the chills going up my spine.
Living in the country, mice are a problem. I’ve seen several scooting by in the backyard and neighbors have complained about them taking over the garden sheds. However, this is the first time I have made contact with a dead one.
“In race, between cat and mouse, the mouse mostly wins….
Because the cat runs for its food……
But the mouse runs for its life……….
Purpose is more important than Need….” Unknown
Unfortunately, the little guy lost out. So goes the circle of life.
I don’t jump out of bed although the cat alarm clock starts going off at around 5:30 in the morning. Chachi, the cat, has had enough of this thing called sleeping and he is ready to go. He sits patiently on the bedside table and taps me on the forehead with one paw. If that doesn’t work, he runs one paw gently down the length of my hair! And if that doesn’t work, he gives it his all. He thumps me on the forehead again not too gently this time and lets out a HUGE sigh!
I spend the next few minutes cuddling up with little furball. He gets lots of kisses and hugs which sends his purring out of the stratosphere! He loves cuddling but only for a few minutes at a time. Then it is time to get out of bed and me looking like death warmed over (just kidding) I head to the bathroom and he waits outside huffing and puffing. Patience is not his strong suit.
Time for my first cup of coffee and my usual breakfast. One slice of toast with some fruit. Occasionally scrambled eggs are added but that is too much work in the mornings so I do the least amount of work possible. I head back upstairs, turn on the TV to see what havoc Trump has unleashed on the world. One thing is for sure, there are never-ending stories of a regime that has gone rogue but no surprises there. The only thing is we’ll have to put up with it for the next four years.
After breakfast, it is time to get ready for the day but before that I look to see what the Daily Prompt is about today. It gets my brain going. Shower comes next and after getting dressed I head downstairs. Some days I meditate but most days it is shoes on and off for a walk. I love being outdoors when no one is around. Sometimes I tell myself I have claustrophobia but it is all in my mind just as hypocondriac is. That’s my daily routine, I might throw in a workout or two but most days the routine stays the same, nothing earth-shattering but it gets me going.
Daily writing prompt
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?
“not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry.” Unknown
I’m talking about emotional baggage, the kind that has gathered so much dust but we still carry them around like an albatross around our necks. Everyone has them but some find it easy to let go and to move on. Others lug it around because they love going back there for whatever the reason and than there are those who use it as a “get out of jail free card.” They whip it out as a talking point as to why they are stuck where they’re at and can’t see their way forward.
Most or all of the “emotional baggage” belongs in the past but unresolved issues, anger, sadness, grief or just plain, “I love living in the past” attitude puts it front and center and makes it very much a part of the present.
“Leave your baggage where it belongs. In the past. It has no place in your future.” Unknown
Things happen and oftentimes we have no control over it. It could be a break up or a painful event such as losing a loved one or even situations which cause anger, confusion and absolute disbelief. They happened and there is no changing the outcome but by carrying that baggage around like a well-worn trophy, it is not going to change what took place in the past. It happened and there is no going back. You can only move forwards.
“We all have baggage but there comes a time when you realize it’s time to UNPACK.” Unknown
Here are some examples of emotional baggage:
I’ll never be good enough.
I don’t deserve good things.
Everyone will leave me.
I am angry.
I will never forgive.
I can’t escape my past.
Nobody cares about me!
I hate my life!
I can’t move forward.
I failed.
This is as good as it gets.
Recognize any of them? I DO.
“Emotional baggage refers to “unfinished emotional issues, stressors, pain, and difficulties we’ve experienced that continue to take up space in our minds and affect our present relationships.” http://www.verywellmind.com
The truth is:
“Emotional baggage is heavy, and it’s way too expensive to keep dragging along to all the places that life wants to take you.” Unknown
No, it is not easy to get rid of emotional baggage because we keep filling it up every chance we get. It gets so full sometimes that I can’t zip it up for all the useless stuff that I fill it up with, mostly things that have happened and it is still there for all the reasons I have stated above. It’s time to refocus and discard what no longer serves you.
If you want to get rid of the ‘useless’ you need to do some work. According to http://www.griefworkcenter.com, “Identify what you have actually lost and grieve that which is gone, focus on your strengths that empower you; explore the tasks you need to complete to let go of the overwhelming feelings, and focus on how you have experienced growth because of what happened.”
I can hear one friend saying, “I CAN’T! It seems like only yesterday.” To that friend I say, “The truth is, it’s been more than 10 years. LET IT GO.” You don’t need that “get out of jail free card,” anymore, you have places to go.
AND
“Misery might love company but so does joy, and joy throws much better parties.” Billy Joey
I could go with more but I’m going to stick to what I think makes a person unique.
Honesty
I place a lot of importance on honesty. It is hard to find because people tend to lie like there is no tomorrow! However, without honesty it is hard to trust someone and honesty makes for a relationship where respect for the person comes into play in the form of honesty. You are unique if honesty is your stronghold.
Integrity
Without integrity there are no moral principles. Someone who does whatever he/she wants without moral principles is someone I try to avoid at all costs. A person with integrity has a strong moral code and tries to do the right thing and it is indeed a unique quality to have and to treasure.
Humility
I find this quality extremely attractive more than looks or stature in life. These people are usually very modest and do not think they are better than others. There is a certain kindness that shines through and they don’t mind getting their hands dirty. This is definitely a unique quality and one that is extremely attractive and makes the person stand out even more.
“One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”
Dictionary.com defines good vibes as a “slang phrase for the positive feelings given off by a person, place or situation.” When good vibes are present you feel positive emotions or rather you radiate trust, love and kindness to those around you.
“A kind word, a genuine smile, and a warm gesture can send the best vibes.” Unknown
I can agree with the genuine smile part. Sharing smiles is a part of my DNA and if we share eye-contact, a smile is the first thing you’ll see before we even exchange a word. There is nothing wrong with sharing a smile with strangers. Who knows you might have changed their day for the better and it didn’t cost you anything to do so.
However, today ‘good vibes’ was the furthest thing on my mind. Something didn’t go quite right yesterday and it triggered an emotional response which filled me with agitation and that is putting it mildly. Afterwards, I wanted to make it right but I had to give it time so I tossed and turned all night and woke up with a big chip on my shoulder and not quite ready to blow it off. I have to keep moving to stop the overthinking I told myself. I put on my old sweats, the rattiest I could find to exaggerate how I was feeling, bundled my hair on my head and looking like a nightmare, I decided to do a thorough cleaning of the bedroom especially when I could see the dust bunnies grinning at me daring me to touch them. I got all the necessary stuff ready and a big bowl of water to wipe everything clean. Good vibes at this point was nowhere to be seen! Cleaning was and is not my favorite chore but it was one way to drown out my mind so I got ready to tackle the impossible. Just as I was getting ready to start, Chachi the cat walks in, takes one look at the big bowl of water and looks at me as if to say, “What’s the pool doing in the middle of the room mom?” That was enough to light up my eyes, put a smile on my face and to bring the good vibes rushing back in. Just an example of how little it takes to change the mood in an instant if only you’re ready and willing to let it.
“Let it go. Change the channel. Turn it off. Unsubscribe. Unfriend. Unfollow. Mute. Block. Walk away. Breathe.” Unknown
The day took off on a better note afterwards and I had a clean bedroom to boot. The problem was still there but it didn’t need to fill my whole day and neither did it have the power to destroy my mood, my day and my good vibes. Here are some rules, there are seven of them to help you to get your energy back, to bring oomph back into your life and more than that to put that smile back on your face. It did on mine.
7 RULES of LIFE
Make peace with your past so it won’t disturb your future.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
The person in charge of your happiness is you.
Don’t compare your life to others. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Time heals almost everything. Give it time.
Stop thinking so much. It’s alright not to know all the answers.
SMILE. You don’t own all the problems in the world.
It’s Sunday and I just woke up so coming up with something is a hard thing as I just had my first cup of coffee, it takes another cup to get going!
I went with the easiest thing and that is cheesecake. It is my nemesis as some of you already know since I have been posting about my addiction to this little bit of nothingness BUT it has a tremendous hold on me. I’ve been trying to beat the craving but it has been touch and go so far. Some days I do great and some days I indulge! Nothing too crazy but this addiction plays with my willpower and I hate it but love it at the same time!
A cheesecake named after me would be soft, creamy and melt in your mouth. Scrumptious would be another word for it. It would be plain but you can add whatever you want to it. Fruits, sprinkles, glazes or anything your heart desires, bottom line is that it tastes great all on its own with nothing added to glorify its taste. I want everyone to have the same effect it has on me and once you taste it there is no going back, you are done for hook, line, and sinker!
It’s Sunday, time for cheesecake? Just kidding. It’s a no cheesecake day today. Yes, it is smirking, the cheesecake I mean, but we shall see. I plan to win this battle one way or another!
Daily writing prompt
If you could have something named after you, what would it be?
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