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Finding Love (Archives)

A Series on Getting Back on Track

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Love is elusive, it has been said. It is hard to pin down said another. Sometimes it hides in plain sight but it is the one thing that we can’t live without says the heart. Sure, we can pretend that it doesn’t matter if we have love or not and convince ourselves that it is absolutely alright but in those moments when all is quiet and you’re left looking up at the night sky all lit up with a million stars, that is when your heart reminds you that there is more to life than standing here all alone surrounded by such beauty. It is at those moments that your heart yearns for something more, someone to hold, someone to share hugs and kisses with and that one special someone who will finally complete you.

“It’s impossible,” said pride.

“It’s risky,” said experience.

“It’s pointless,” said reason.

“Give it a try,” whispered the heart. Unknown.

Giving it a try is easy. Taking the risk, we’ve all tried that. Impossible and pointless? I don’t know about that but I’m on the search for love, true love. Not the “whishy washy” variety that disguises itself as love but in reality is far from it. This kind of love has the potential to break your heart in two or more pieces if given the chance but I’m looking for the type that can weather any storm. However, I have the tendency to jump in with both feet where love is concerned but I am learning as I go along. The solution could be that we need to stop doing this below.

“Stop planting flowers in peoples yards who aren’t going to water them.” Hylyrikz.com

How many times have we done that? Plenty of times? I know I’ve done that many times over knowing full well that I was stepping on dangerous ground. Yet, I kept on doing it saying, “It has potential, it could be what I’ve been looking for.” And what is that?” you might ask. Is it someone who treats you like you are ordinary? You deserve much more and I deserve much more than that. Ordinary is not my thing, has never been and will never be my thing. If someone you love treats you as “ordinary” it is time to move on and look for that someone who shows you that you are “extraordinary.”

“If he misses you, he’ll call.

If he wants you, he’ll say it.

If he cares, he’ll show it.

And if not, he can’t be worth your time.” Unknown.

This quote says it all. The journey to finding love is hard enough but if you have someone who doesn’t show you all of the above, it is time to move on. Love is not about you chasing someone with no reciprocation in return. It is the meeting of minds and of hearts but it is so much more than that. The caring will show if the love is there. Pay attention to what is shown because it will show you the reality of the situation. Which brings me to the last part.

“Never apologize for trusting your intuition – your brain can play tricks, your heart can blind, but your gut is always right.” Rachel Wolchin

Listen to your gut, we’ve heard that often enough right? How often have we turned our backs on it? I know I have more times than I can count on the fingers of one hand. It was my way of turning a blind eye when the truth was staring me in the face. I’ve walked down paths I should not have and at times the pain was unbearable but I had only myself to blame. Pay attention to that gut feeling, it only has your best interest at heart.

The path I am on is scary, the unknown always is but armed with what I have learned from 2024, I am confident that I am headed in the right direction. I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, take a couple of deep breaths and keep on moving. If I stumble along the way and fall which I know I will, it is alright. I will gather up yet another lesson learned and keep moving to the finish line. The end goal is finding love, the kind that will last a lifetime not just for the here and now. When I do find that elusive someone it will not be about completing me but more about adding to who I am and making me feel absolutely extraordinary!

There is hope.

Have an amazing day.

The Strength of a Woman

If there ever was a biography about me, that would be the title. It speaks to who I am and where I stand today. I am a petite person but as I wrote in one of my posts, I am a survivor and it took strength to stand back up and to face the world and life again.

I lost my mom to murder. The loss filled me with rage and yes hate and brought my life to a standstill. I wanted revenge at any cost. I learned that I could give up or I could learn to fight an unjust system through my writings. I did that and even though it changed nothing meaning the outcome of the verdict, I learned that there is power within and the will to survive anything. A few years later, I lost my younger brother. He is a cold case. The handsome young man was found floating in a pool of water and was too far gone for evidence of any kind. His killer or killers were never brought to justice. It took me years to let go of guilt because I was faraway at the time and couldn’t help him. I watched my long-term marriage go up in flames because of infidelity and it brought me down to my knees. Standing back up from this blow seemed like it would never happen but it did. Accompanying someone dear to me to his deathbed was the next journey I would have to take and I told myself I couldn’t do it or what was asked of me but I did and I am still standing.

I took to writing about injustice and that became my rallying cry or rather my way of dealing with the pain that was within. I have written about injustices of every kind both here and abroad and especially of the killings of black men by law enforcement. I have written about racism and racist practices and I have stood up with courage to speak out when I see injustice forgetting that this tiny frame is just that, tiny, but I have a megaphone and that I have a tool to get the word out. Strength is my powerhouse and the will to survive is built into the core of who I am as a person.

Daily writing prompt

If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?

View all responses

LOL! (3)

I’m embracing humor with open arms these days. Jokes, stand-up comedy and anything that tickles the funny bone is all par for the course and believe me it brings joy into my life and a lighter outlook on life. Here are a few more jokes to bring a wholehearted laugh or even a smile to your face.

A Women’s Perfect Breakfast

She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

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WIFE vs. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically. ‘Relatives of yours?’

‘Yep,’ the wife replied, ‘in-laws.’

Smart wife and the husband is on the back of the milk carton by the way!

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An Equal Opportunity Joke!

Not all men are idiots……..

………Some REMAIN single!

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Father and Son

Father: “Son, if you don’t stop playing with that thing you’ll go blind!”

Son: “Dad, I’m over here!”

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Hell’s Rewards!

A guy dies and having been far from perfect in life, finds himself in hell. The devil greets him and says he’ll have to pick from one of three rooms.

He looks in the first room and he sees people screaming in pain as they burn in a massive fire.

He looks in the second room and he sees people being violently torn to shreds by a giant, raging gorilla.

He looks in the third room and there are people sitting in vats of s**t all the way to their neck but they are also drinking coffee. He thinks sitting in s**t is not that great but at least you get coffee. He chooses Room #3. He gets into the vat and he gets his cup of coffee. He takes a sip and thinks, not bad at all. Then the supervisor blows a whistle and says, “OK everyone, break is over. Back on your heads!”

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Sticks and Stones (Archives)

This world for as much as it is beautiful is still a cruel place. Evil lurks and strikes when you least expect it. However, the kind of evil I am going to talk about here is not the kind that can hurt you physically but the one that has the power to go deeper, much deeper.

“A dagger of words can pierce the heart more deeply than any weapon.” Unknown

We’ve heard this adage before, some of us many times over. ”Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” How often have we taken this one to heart and agreed wholeheartedly that words don’t have the potential to hurt simply because someone had the audacity to throw some unsavory words our way? Words will never hurt you? It doesn’t quite work that way does it? Words have the potential to hurt even more than sticks and stones. They have the power to cut you like a knife, they have the ability to hurt like hell, they can humiliate and maim you to the point that your world comes to a standstill.

Words have power. The good ones can lift you up but the bad ones can bring you to your knees. Labels such as, moron, imbecile, idiot or others of a more sinister nature DO HURT. They can also have an impact on a more deeper psychological level.

So choose your words carefully as you go out into the world today. What you put out there matters so let’s go out and make this world a better place, one word at a time!

Here are some of my favorite quotes that speak to the power of words.

“Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime.” Rachel Wolchin

“Words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose yours well.” Robin Sharma

And finally this,

“Words are powerful, they have the ability to create a moment and the strength to destroy it.” Joyce Meyer

Choose your words carefully for they have the power to hurt and much worse than sticks and stones. Whoever said, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” didn’t know what they were talking about!

Have an amazing day.

What a Question?

What were my parents doing at my age? I don’t know!

I left home a long time ago. Both parents are no longer here. Dad died of a heart attack even though he lived a healthy life but that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Mom as I have mentioned before died an untimely death at the hands of an immigrant who came in as a cleaning woman and who later took her life for some money and a few pieces of jewelery.

If they had been alive, I think they would have still continued a similar lifestyle. I come from a very religious family meaning Sundays at church and the rest of the time keeping close to the Bible and its teachings. I was glad to get away when I left to continue my studies because claustrophobia had started to set in but they taught me some good lessons that have stood the test of time and for that I will always be thankful.

Perhaps if life had been kind, they would be leading a quiet life carrying on their mission of spreading God’s word. Since it was not, I know they are at peace wherever they are.

Daily writing prompt

What were your parents doing at your age?

View all responses

What the Musk?!!

The Tesla CEO and billionaire to boot has 12 children. Yes folks, he’s been busy in more ways than one. He believes in the “pro-natalist” movement which advocates having lots of kids as a remedy to population decline or it could be his contribution to world domination. Just saying.

He has had 12 children with three different women and goes by the motto, “Have money will propagate!” He has had six kids with his first wife, Justin Wilson, three with ex-girlfriend Grimes and three with his Neuralink executive girlfriend, Shivon Zilis.

Yesterday, he showed up at the White House for the Musk presser with President Trump by his side. Also present was his son with the unpronounceable name so we’ll him X. If picking his nose wasn’t enough, the cute four-year-old stole the show by mimicking his father!

Another source commented, “I’m watching Elon Musk’s son pick his nose, eat boogers and wipe them on the Resolute desk, there’s no way this kid is not annoying Trump.”

He probably did but since Musk was running the show, the orange-faced Commander-in-Chief kept his “cool” and ignored the whole thing including the kid!

Yes folks, “orange” is back in although his hair seems to be in a better shape. A new stylist or a toupee?

When asked to respond to critics who called his anti-government efforts a “hostile takeover,” Musk responded with, “The people voted for major government reform and that’s what the people are going to get.”

Spoken like the boss man.

When Life Was Simple (Archives)

A Series on Getting Back on Track

“Things to Remember”

Eat regularly (and well)

Get enough sleep

Sometimes being a bitch is necessary

Stop talking and listen

Don’t take anyone’s shit

Things WILL get better

If someone can’t make the effort to be in your life – they don’t deserve to be there.

It only ends once, everything else is just progress.

A good cup of tea can solve just about anything.

Stick to your guns.

Impromptu solo dance parties are good for your health.

Spend time with the people who matter the most.

I remember a time when life was simple. Having my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground was a daily and joyous norm for me. Twirling on my toes, watching clouds go by on my back and chasing rainbows and dreams was what life was about way back when I was young and life was simple.

Splashing in duck puddles on a rainy day with only the ducks for company was absolute heaven. Covered in mud from head to toe and looking like a gypsy was a badge I wore with pride. Talking to unseen beings who only existed in my mind didn’t matter because it made life simple.

Chasing rainbow colored fish in a dirty stream made it the absolute highlight of my day and when I had a few wriggling in my hands with the sunlight reflecting off their multi-hued bodies made it even more so. Boys….hmm….boys were of no importance except as buddies. They did not have the power to touch my heart but that was way back when things were simple and I had wings.

Dancing in the rain, jumping over puddles of water and squealing with laughter meant I was one with nature. Anger, hurt and pain were unknown in a life where nothing mattered except for the magic I created within myself. Joy was an everyday occurrence but it became a thing of the past. It was way back when things were simple. I am a grown-up now.

Adulthood is defined as or means that, “they are an adult or that they behave in a responsible way.”

Someone asked me not too long ago why I couldn’t behave the same way. The answer is simple. Grown-ups or adults behave in a specific way. Propriety demands that I “conform to what is socially acceptable in conduct or speech.”

Going back to the quote I started out with, I will choose a few I can live with.

“Sometimes being a bitch is necessary.” This is an alien concept to me as being a “bitch” is way beyond my grasp of being a good person. Lately, I am learning that it is a necessary step to where I want to get to in my journey of life. A bitch is applied to a woman and defined as “someone, who is belligerent, unreasonable, malicious, controlling, aggressive or dominant.” Perhaps I need to apply this concept on my way to arriving at my end goal. Life is not that simple anymore.

“If someone can’t make the effort to be in your life – they don’t deserve to be there.” This is a hard one. Where once “men” were of no consequence, growing up means learning to deal with this species. If you thought women were difficult to comprehend, try dealing with this group! The end point is, if they can’t be bothered to be in your life and every effort is just lukewarm or worse cold then it is time to put your “bitch” shoes on and move on. Life is too short and neither is it just in black and white. It is complicated enough as it is and perhaps we make it more complicated. It boils down to, if you can’t make an effort, it is time for you to go.

Last but not least, “Spend time with people who matter most.” These are people who show up when times are tough. The ones who are not just “fair weather friends” but who are there without being asked. Get rid of the liars, the ones who have lying built into their DNA, this is a necessary step in making your life simple again. Liars are not worthy of your time and space because they say one thing and behave as if you don’t matter. Walk and don’t look back!

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” Hans Hofmann

Looks easy enough doesn’t it but believe me it is not. You can get back to the basics. You can still dance in the rain, imagine yourself splashing in puddles and envision yourself in a much simpler time and place. Truth is it takes imagination, hard work, determination and courage to get back to that place of simplicity. Complicated is just in your mind.

Have an amazing day.

Disrespect

It is defined as “insulting someone or displaying rude behavior by showing a lack of respect.”

Have you experienced it? I have and it is not a nice thing when faced with such behavior. There are three forms of disrespect. These are known as the passive, subtle and the blatant variety.

Passive disrespect is when someone is condescending, makes insulting insinuations, gives you the silent treatment, is sarcastic and doesn’t care if it is hurtful or not. How do you deal with this kind of disrespect?

Don’t take the bait and address the issue immediately.

Subtle disrespect is when someone mocks you, when they talk behind your back and they will pretend to have forgotten things you agreed on.

Show that it doesn’t affect you or decide if you want to engage. Name the disrespectful behavior you have observed and call them out on it. Have a conversation about it but do not lecture.

Blatant disrespect is the no holds barred variety. They go out of their way to deliberately undermine or demean you. Their actions are obvious and they don’t give a hoot if it hurts you.

Here again stay calm but it is hard to do. Use “I” statements when addressing the issue and ask for clarification. You can react with kindness but since that is almost impossible to do, call the person out on his or her behavior and set boundaries as to what you will or won’t tolerate.

If all else fails, you have the option of walking away and closing the door behind you. No one should put up with disrespect. Disrespect basically says, “You are not important and your feelings don’t matter to me.” The truth is, you are important and your feelings do matter. Do not tolerate disrespect of any kind.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:

“The best way to end disrespect is by not giving them a chance to do it again.” Unknown

“Disrespect is the weapon of the weak.” Alice Miller

“Wasting somebody’s time may be the highest form of disrespect.” Unknown

I like the next one a lot.

“Never let your heart be so forgiving that it gets comfortable with disrespect.” Unknown

“Don’t put up with disrespect just to keep them in your life.” Sonya Parker

“Be careful what you tolerate, you are teaching people how to treat you.” Unknown

This last one needs a plaque of its own!

Detox Your Life in 4 Easy Steps

Eliminate anyone who:

Lies to you

Disrespects you

Uses you or

Puts you down.

Have an amazing day.

No One is Above the Law!

Candidates for president of the United States must meet certain basic requirements according to usa.gov and these are:

Be a natural born citizen of the United States.

Be at least 35 years old.

Have been a resident of the United States for 14 years.

However, anyone who incites violence and stokes “armed and angry followers to “fight like hell” and to “fight” to overturn the election results should be barred and disqualified from ever holding public office again. “There must be consequences for insurrection and stoking political violence” and “no one is above the law” not even former presidents” or the current one for that matter.

I think a “stoking insurrection and violence” clause should be added and made into law to stop what is currently happening because “power” in the wrong hands can be detrimental not only to the country in question but the world at large as well. While we’re at it, how about changing that age thing as well. Age is not just a number and a president who is not all there because of cognitive decline which does happen with advanced age should not be holding launch codes to nuclear weapons amongst other things! In the meantime he is running amok with the Executive pen since the other option is not viable but it is all a matter of time.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot!

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I used these four words often enough during his first term but it looks like nothing much has changed in that respect. The 47th president is off and running and he hasn’t come out of the playground where he used to throw temper-tantrums like a three-year-old when he didn’t get his way.

He wants to be a “peacemaker” and if I’m not wrong, he promised no wars. He’s all about “making the deal.” Hmm….

The tariffs are coming in fast and furious, shutting down government spending is his strong suit. Who cares about the consequences? He says what goes and what doesn’t and kowtow to the monarch or else!

Standing next to Israeli Prime Minister, Netanyahu, he spoke of taking over the Gaza strip and remodeling it. He also talked of moving the Palestinians out of the “hell hole” and temporarily relocating them. It was a “no go” as far as the Arab world was concerned. He still keeps mumbling about what a “good deal” it would be for the Palestinians.

Who demolished Gaza into what it is today? The Israelis destroyed almost 80% of the structures in the Gaza Strip in retaliation for the October 7, 2023 attacks that took place on Israeli soil. Since then, Israel has bombed 40,000 locations and dropped more than 70,000 bomb tonnage and the death toll exceeds over 70,000 casualties. Both Israel and Hamas have been accused of war crimes for their part in the destruction of the Gaza Strip and the killing of innocent citizens. According to Israel’s Channel 12 News, “it would take at least 10 years and cost tens if not hundreds of billions of dollars to reconstruct.” Someone should tell him that!

Now, he’s given the ultimatum to Hamas and the deadline is set for Saturday at 12 noon. What happens then? He doesn’t know! A bluff? It could be but what if it isn’t? Another war? Diplomacy is not what he’s about but strongman tactics are. He’s into “power” and who’s the strongest of them all. Remember him gushing about Kim Jong Un?

“He wrote me beautiful letters and they’re great letters. We fell in love.”

Trump on Turkish Presdient Erdogan: “He’s tough, but I get along with him. And maybe, that’s a bad thing, but I think it’s a really good thing.”

President Xi of China is a good friend. “I’ve gotten to know him very well. He’s a strong gentleman, right?”

Well, you get the picture. So what happens on Saturday at noon? Your guess is as good as mine!

Open Mouth, Insert Foot!